Monday September 5, 1977

Lily carefully avoided looking at the corner of the room where the Slytherin prefects were whispering rather loudly about her. Them she could handle. What had shocked and hurt her deeply was that Umbert Underton, a 6th year Ravenclaw that Lily had considered herself on good terms with, and Bernadette Wallace from Hufflepuff, were also sitting in that same corner, sniggering at Acacia Bodes insults.

"We only need to discuss one last thing," Lily announced, shuffling her paper around on the desk ignoring the laughter, "and then we can all leave. We need to talk about patrol partners. Traditionally, members from each House have patrolled together, but in the spirit of inter-house unity, the Head Boy and I thought - and Professor Dumbledore agrees - that we should have members from different houses patrol with each other." This got everyone's attention. The prefects exchanged shocked glances and a low buzz of voices began. "We've made up a preliminary roster," Lily ploughed forward, ignoring the hostile glares she was receiving from the Slytherin corner, "and if you'd like to pass it around and raise any issues with dates or partners, please do so now."

"'He's from Gryffindor' or any of that rubbish won't be accepted as an excuse either." James added, giving the Slytherins a dark glare. "Unless I think it's a good enough excuse, you're stuck with who we've assigned you."

There were grumbling and lots of eye rolls as the parchment was sent around the room but to Lily's intense relief no complaints. When James had, to her surprise, proposed this idea at their last Heads Meeting, Lily had envisioned a riot, followed by a mass lynching and then a victory party over her dead body. She caught James' eye and smiled, letting her relief that their plan had worked show. James gave her a smug grin in return and cocked his eyebrow in a gesture that clearly said 'I told you so.'

"Is this a joke?"

Lily looked over to see Mulciber clutching the parchment in his fist, one eyebrow raised.

"I'm sorry?" She asked cooly, steeling herself for confrontation.

"I said," Mulciber repeated, as if he was speaking to a child, "is this a joke? Your name is next to mine."

Her stomach clenched as the room fell quiet. "That's right." Her voice shook with fury. She knew exactly why he was doing this. "Since we're in different houses, we'll be paired together."

Mulciber looked at her and then at the parchment. "No. I don't want to spend any more time with you than necessary."

Lily arched both eyebrows. "Believe me Mulciber, the feeling is mutual, but unfortunately we all need to take our lumps and act like adults." She turned to face the rest of the room. " If that's the only complaint -"

"That's where you're wrong." Lily broke off and glared at Mulciber, who was now standing to his feet. She saw James standing from the corner of her eye. "For you, it doesn't matter. The only side affect of spending a prolonged amount of time with me is that you might learn some civility." Lily's mouth dropped open. "I, however, will not subject myself to being around filth like you. I won't risk my blood purity being tainted by your filthy blood. A Mudblood as Head Girl!" Mulciber appealed to the now silent prefects. "This is further proof that Lord Voldemort is right - the wizarding world certainly is decaying if we can allow scum like her and her kind to be in positions of authority in this school. She shouldn't even be allowed into Hogwarts, let alone be Head Girl! You don't need an education to know your rightful place. We need to fight for our culture and everything that it stands for and not let these ignorant, subversive idiots destroy us!"

The room exploded into noise. Chairs were thrown back as students leapt to their feet to shout and wave arms, wands were drawn and Lily even saw Davy Gudgeons punch a 5th year Slytherin in the eye. In the middle of this stood Mulciber, calm and smug, watching Lily with a sneer. Lily stared at him, unable to comprehend the sheer amount of hate in his expression.

"IF YOU TWATS DON'T SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO HEX YOU ALL!"

Everyone froze as James, now standing on top of a table with his voice magically magnified, glared down at them all. No one doubted for a second that the Head Boy would do exactly as threatened. When they all grudgingly sat back down, James leapt off the desk, keeping a careful eye on the four Slytherins and the growing number of prefects joining them. "If you lot want to believe that - "After a quick glance at Lily he continued. "- that rubbish that Voldemort is spreading, then bully for you. You're allowed to be as stupid was you want, school rules don't allow me to dock points for that." A group of students at the back of the room started to protest but twin glares from Lily and James quietened them down instantly. "But if I ever hear you calling Evans - or any Muggleborn student - a Mu - a you know what - again, I will go straight to Professor Dumbledore. You all know his stance on 'blood purity'." He gave them one last warning glare before pointing his wand at the door. "Prefects who are due to patrol tomorrow, I'll meet you here ten minutes before. Now clear off."

Lily watched mutely as the prefects filed out of the room. A few of them smiled at her but most ignored her or scowled at didn't wait to be completely out of ear shot before the muttering started again. Mulciber and Acacia Bode smirked at her as they slipped past and Lily struggled to not whip out her wand and curse them within inches of their lives.

She started gathering her notes to distract herself, hoping that James would leave without saying anything. She didn't think she could handle any sympathy right now. She had never expected that being Head Girl would be easy. As soon as she had received the owl with her badge she had done some research. There had never been a Mugggleborn Head Girl at Hogwarts. In fact, until 20 years ago there hadn't even been a half blood prefect. To be the first Muggleborn Head Girl in Hogwarts would have been a trial even during the best of times, let alone during a war lead by a man who wanted to eradicate witches and wizards like her. She wasn't delusional enough to believe that the first Prefects meeting of the year would go well, but she had hoped...

To her relief, James started towards the door without sparing her a glance. Just when she thought she was in the clear, he paused in the doorway. "Evans. I know you can take care of yourself, but if you ever need any...if Mulciber and those bastards..." He paused and took a breath. "You don't need to do this on your own. I'll back you up. I won't let them hurt you."

He disappeared out into the corridor without making eye contact and Lily gazed at the empty doorframe, surprised to find that she believed him.

November 10, 1977

Lily read the note once more before scrunching it into a tight little ball.

"Right." She said, breathing slowly and evenly. "Right." Maybe if she said 'right' enough the urge to cry would disappear and she could instead get on with the important business of doing something constructive about the blasted thing. Her eyes fell to the offending piece of parchment and she felt tears well up in her eyes. "Right."

She set off at a brisk walk. Saying 'right' repeatedly was doing nothing to stop the tears, so she would have to try a different course of action. She would go for a walk, Lily told herself, and make a list of things she could do. Professor Dumbledore had made her Head Girl for a reason, she reassured herself, and one of those reasons was her ability to be calm and proactive in the face of disaster. If her path somehow lead her towards the Quidditch Pitch, where the Head Boy would no doubt be practicing for the upcoming match, then it was merely a coincidence. Her mind had not first immediately thought 'Ask James for help, he'll know what to do.' Not at all.

She left the warmth of the castle and set out across the grounds towards the Quidditch Pitch, shoving the note deep into her cloak pocket. It would all be ok she chanted to herself, James will know what to do. If the thought occurred to her that, in this situation, it would make much more sense to go to Professor Dumbledore, she never acknowledged it. James would know what to do. He promised.

She was about to enter the Quidditch Pitch when a muffled shout caught her attention. Spinning on her heel, she quickly made her way around towards the back of the stadium, eyes narrowing. The sounds of scuffling and cursing became louder and Lily sighed. Duelling. Some idiots were duelling behind the Quidditch Pitch. She rounded the corner with her wand drawn and her standard "Right you lot, put the wands down and step away from each other, you know this is against the rules" trailed off.

Four burly Slytherins duelled a furious looking James Potter. Despite the stacked odds, James seemed to be holding his own and he shot a nasty looking hex at one of the Slytherins before leaping out of the way of a well aimed jinx.

Lily watched this all expressionlessly, feeling a dull rage begin from the pit of her stomach. "Expelliarmus!" She aimed her wand at the largest of the boys, watching with satisfaction as his wand soared towards her.

One of the other Slytherins noticed the Head Girl and pointed his wand at her face. "Defodio!"

"Protego." Lily shouted hastily, watching with frustration as the wand that had almost landed neatly in her hand hit the shield and fell to the ground. The Slytherin who had cast the curse grinned and pointed his wand towards her again. Lily narrowed her eyes and thought 'Petrificus Totalus', watching smugly as he froze and toppled over. She had always been fab at non verbal spells.

She turned towards the rest of the boys and froze as the tip of a wand jabbed her forehead. "On no," Mulciber grinned, eyes glittering with hatred, "you aren't going to get away so easily, little Mudblood."

Lily's grip tightened on her wand as her mind raced. Before she had a chance to even blink Mulciber's eyes widened and he toppled forward onto her, revealing a furious James Potter. Lily caught him with an 'ooof' of surprise and quickly pushed him off her, eyeing the unconscious boy with distaste.

James strode towards her, grabbing her arm roughly. "What are you doing?" he hissed, dragging her away from the incapacitated Slytherins. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"

"What am I doing?" Lily wrenched her arm out of his grasp and glared. "What are you doing, leaving your enemies behind you, armed and able to fight back?" She turned back and waved her wand towards the four boys. Ropes appeared, binding their wrists and ankles together. Lily turned back to James, arms folded. "What happened?"

"Nothing." James answered sullenly.

Lily scoffed. "Oh my mistake, of course nothing happened. That's why I found you duelling four Slytherins twice your size."

"Shut it, Lily."

"I will not shut it!" Her voice rose with indignation. "You're Head Boy! You of all people should know better than to be duelling on school grounds! Tell me what happened."

James glared at her silently, mouth set in a tight line. The two Gryffindors stared at each other until Lily let out a huff of annoyance.

"I don't have time for this." She muttered, fingering the crumpled ball of parchment in her pocket. "I can't deal with this right now. You're Head Boy, James. I thought…" She trailed off, remembering how she had been so sure he would be able to help her with her problem, how he would be able to make everything ok. She sighed. "I thought you'd changed. I thought you'd finally grown up and had decided to be responsible for once, but instead I find you out here duelling like an imbecile. What would your parents think, seeing you acting like this? You said they were so proud of you when you made Head Boy. You said they hoped this meant you'd decided to take your schooling seriously but you haven't, have you? They certainly wouldn't be proud of you if they could see you now." Lily paused, hoping to have goaded the boy into a reaction. He simply looked at her, face carefully void of expression. Frustration welled up in her, fast and hot, and she felt tears sting her eyes again. This was too much. "I thought," she said a tad shrilly, "that you would be able to help me with this," she threw the ball of parchment at James' feet, "but clearly you're too busy."

She turned on her heel and began to storm off but stopped. "20 points from Slytherin." She gave the four boys a dark glare. "Each, for duelling." She cast a quick glance at James, still standing where she'd left him, fists clenched. "And 20 points from Gryffindor."

She left James standing behind the Quidditch Pitch, disappointment heavy in her stomach. She just couldn't work out if she was disappointed in James or herself.

"What did you say to James?"

Lily looked up in surprise as Sirius slammed his hands on the table in front of her. "Pardon?"

Sirius scowled at her. "I said, what did you say to James?"

"Well, I've said a lot of things to James," Lily answered coolly, tapping her quill against her cheek. "I've said; 'Hello James, how are you today?', 'James, we have a Prefects meeting today at 7pm, don't forget,' I think I've even said 'pass the orange juice please.' at breakfast once, does that answer your question?"

"Don't try to be cute, Evans." Sirius snapped, "You said something to him today and I want to know what it is."

Lily leant back in her chair and crossed her arms. "Why?"

"Why? Because he's disappeared. He only ever disappears when you say something nasty to him. So." Sirius leaned forward, eyes boring into hers. "What. Did. You. Say. To. Him?"

Lily swallowed, intimidated though she'd never admit out loud. Instead, she leaned forward till their noses were almost touching. "None. Of. Your. Business."

Sirius straightened with a sound of disgust and glared at her. "You are pathetic, Evans. I don't know what he sees in you. You don't care about anyone but yourself, do you?"

"That's not true!" Lily retorted, offended. "You don't know me at all Black."

"I only call it as I see it." Sirius snapped back. "You fly around on your broomstick, thinking you're so much better than all of us, looking down your nose at all us lesser beings who actually like to have fun once in a while. You constantly put James down when all he wants to do is be mates with you. He actually cares about you, for reasons I can't fathom, and all you can do is be an utter bitch to him. Well, maybe he won't stand up for himself, but I won't stand by and watch you rip my best mate to shreds. If you can't lower yourself to be friends with him, at least have the decency to leave him alone."

"I can't leave him alone," Lily was surprised to hear her voice wavering, "when we're Heads together. We need to spend a certain amount of time together -"

"When you spend this 'certain amount of time together'," Sirius interrupted with a sneer "did you ever think to ask him why he had been so down lately?"

Lily blinked. His sudden change of subject threw her completely. "I - I didn't even - I didn't notice - why would I ask him if he was down if I didn't know?"

"Exactly." Sirius gave her a look of deepest disdain. "You didn't notice that James hasn't been himself. You didn't notice and didn't think to ask and now you've gone and said something to him that's pushed him over the edge."

"I…" Lily floundered for a response, any response, but was unable to think clearly when Sirius was glaring at her with so much disgust.

"Forget it. You're not worth it. Something I've been trying to convince James of for years." He left as quickly as he came, pushing past a group of startled first years.

Lily watched him go, tears welling up in her eyes. She dashed them away angrily, glaring at the two girls who were watching her from the corner of their eyes. They started whispering, glancing in her direction and giggling. Fighting the urge to leap up and hex them silly, Lily instead pulled her textbook closer towards her, hoping to distract herself with her essay. The words blurred and she spent a fruitless five minutes trying to read the same sentence over and over again before slamming the book shut. Was Black right? Was she a heartless bitch who flew around silently judging everyone? She rubbed her temples and bit back a groan.

"So, what did he say to you?" Remus demanded as he slid into the seat across from Lily.

She jumped and stared at the sandy haired boy, his question so similar to Sirius' it caused a lump in her throat. Instead of scowling at her, however, Remus was giving her a sympathetic smile. Lily exhaled and smiled tiredly. "He told me I was a pathetic, heartless bitch who was ripping James to shreds and I was the reason he was off sulking."

Remus sat back with a low whistle. "Right. Well that seems a little harsh."

"A little." Lily agreed with a humourless laugh. "Shouldn't you be with Black? You know, leading the charge of the man hunt for Potter? Goodness forbid he go missing for a night. We all know how the world can't turn without James around."

Remus frowned a little. "James will be all right, he just needs some time to himself. Sirius doesn't understand that, he's never…well you know. Been through this before."

"Been through what?" Lily was confused. Sirius had never been told off by a girl before? That certainly wasn't true.

Remus stared at her. "You don't know?"

"Know what?" Lily was now started to get annoyed. "Why do all Potter's friends assume I know what's wrong with him? He doesn't confide in me."

"His Dad died, Lily." She sat back in her chair, speechless. "You really didn't know?" She shook her head. Remus looked as surprised as she felt. "I thought everyone knew, it was in the paper; he's a prominent Ministry wizard."

"I stopped reading it after they started publishing all that anti-Muggleborn rubbish." Lily explained eyes wide with shock. His Dad died? And she hadn't known? "Was he -" she hesitated. "Was he killed by…?"

"No." Remus shook his head and Lily let out a sigh of relief. "No, he was just old and Mrs. Potter had died a few months earlier…"

"His Mum died too?" Lily exclaimed, feeling more and more terrible by the second. Both his parents had died and she had no clue. How was it that she could know that Hilary Higgleton's pet hamster had been eaten by her younger brother's cat three weeks ago but she had no idea that her class mate and fellow Head had lost both his parents? "I…I mean…I had no idea!" She looked at Remus beseechingly. "Honestly Remus, I didn't know, had I known I…" wouldn't have been such a heartless bitch to him, Lily thought with disgust.

"It's all right," Remus soothed, patting her hand. "You weren't to know."

Lily subsided into silence, chewing on her lip anxiously. Remus, tactful as always, pulled one of her textbooks towards him and pretended to read it, turning the pages at appropriate intervals. Lily's mind raced, her heart heavy with guilt. She thought over the past few months, remembering every nasty comment she had thrown James' way, every snide remark and every eye roll with a stab of guilt. No wonder Sirius thinks so little of me, she thought miserably. I'm so wrapped up in my own world I didn't even notice James was in mourning for his parents. She knew he was an only child - had in fact, made plenty of quips about him being a spoiled, pampered monster- and she couldn't imagine how alone he felt in the world right now. And what had she done? Instead of offering him comfort and a few kind words, maybe offering to take over his Head duties until he felt up to continuing with them, she had yelled at him and told him his parents would be ashamed of him.

She stood abruptly and started gathering her things. "I'm going to bed." She shouldered her book bag and disappeared into the dorms before a startled Remus could get a word out.

Lily didn't see James all of the next day. This could, of course, be a direct result of her hiding out in her bed. Her friends had all tried unsuccessfully to cajole her into enjoying a rare day of sunshine on a beautiful Sunday, but Lily ignored them all. She instead spent her day trying to take her mind off James by doing her homework. She was partly successful in that she got all her homework done, but was unable to keep her mind from constantly drifting towards James and more specifically the empty look in his eyes the last time she had yelled at him. Or the way he'd been subdued of late. Or the way he rarely told any jokes in class or cheeked any of the Professors. She had come to the conclusion that she was, in fact, a heartless bitch, because any normal person would have noticed these things earlier and asked about them.

"Still having your pity party I see." Alice closed the dorm door with her foot and made her way over to Lily's bed. "Here," she deposited a plate of food on the bedside table. "I brought you dinner."

Lily gave Alice a grateful smile and started shovelling the warm food into her mouth. "Thank you, Alice," she said around her mouthful of peas and carrots, "this is delicious."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Oh, I almost forgot." Alice flicked a pea at Lily's face, grinning when she glared at her. "James is downstairs looking for you."

Lily choked on a piece of steak. Alice leapt to her feet with a snort of laughter and started banging on her back. "Merlin, Alice!" Lily gasped after she'd managed to swallow the offending piece of meat. "You can't spring that kind of information on a girl like that!"

"I'm sorry," Alice said slowly, looking at Lily like she was mad, "I hadn't realised that James looking for you was such an issue." Lily glared at her mate and deliberately took a drink of her water to avoid answering the unspoken question. "I suppose that's the reason you've been hiding up here all day." Lily took another sip. Alice sighed. "You should go down and talk to him. He looks rather upset."

Lily's face fell. "He does?"

Alice nodded, watching Lily closely. "Mm-hm. He's been looking for you all day. He and Sirius had a huge row; we could hear it from the Common Room this morning. It was about you." Lily tried to look nonchalant and failed miserably. "James said that it wasn't Sirius' job to fight his battles for him and Sirius said that he had no choice when James refused to fight the battle at all. Then there was something about Sirius being a bastard to you and Sirius called you some uh…rather unpleasant names and James told him to shut up and mind his own business. They cast a Silencing Charm after that and then not long after Sirius came storming down the stairs and we haven't seen him since."

"Oh." Lily squeaked, feeling, if possible, even guiltier than before.

"What happened?"

"I didn't know that his parents had passed." Lily began, staring at her plate. "I said some awful things to him that, in light of that revelation, were really quite uncalled for and…well Sirius found out and told me off for it."

"Oh, Lily." Alice let out a great sigh and gazed at her disapprovingly. "Did you really not know about his parents?"

"Yes! I feel absolutely dreadful about it; I was just so caught up in my own problems that I never noticed James had been acting strangely. Sirius, he said…he said that I fly around on my broomstick and look down on everyone and…that James only wants to be mates and I'm a cow in return and…and that I'm pathetic and heartless." A tear trickled down her cheek and she wiped it away angrily. "I'm afraid he's right." She said this in a whisper.

Alice scooted over and wrapped an arm around Lily's shoulder. "Don't be daft, Lily Evans; Sirius is a tosser. He doesn't know you at all. You're not at all pathetic and if you really were heartless, would you be up here crying because you felt so bad for what happened?" Lily shook her head and sniffed. "Besides," Alice added with a cheeky smile, "James definitely does not want to be mates with you. Sirius is out of his mind if he believes that."

Lily looked up, startled. "What do you mean?" She tried to stop herself from blushing but figured she must have failed with Alice's eyes twinkled with mischief. "He does want to be mates, doesn't he?"

Alice sniggered. "I think he wants to be a little more than mates with you, if you get my drift." She nudged Lily with her elbow and Lily swatted her, trying to hide her grin. "Chin up, girl." Alice said in scarily accurate imitation of Lily's Mum. "You'll just have to apologise to James for being a right insensitive prat and it will all work out. Now," Alice looked around the dorm with distaste, "you've been up here doing homework for hours; it's enough to drive anyone barmy. How about I pop downstairs and grab a deck of cards? We can play Exploding Snap till our eyebrows are singed off."

"But what about James?"

Alice waved her hand airily behind her as she skipped towards the door. "He can wait till tomorrow, he won't pine away. Be back in a mo."

Lily fell backwards onto her bed with a sigh.

James was sprawled out on a couch near the fire, seemingly oblivious to the glares he was getting from a group of boys who clearly wanted the same couch. Alice brushed past him on the way to the bookshelf, smiling when he moved his arm from off his face and squinted at her.

"S'not coming down then?"

Alice heaved a dramatic sigh. "No, she's managed to convince herself that you hate her and she really is pathetic and heartless." James scowled at this. "But I've talked her into apologising to you tomorrow, so all is well."

"Bloody Sirius." James muttered, arm falling back over his eyes. "He always sticks his nose in where it doesn't belong."

"Hmm. Don't be too mad at him though. She needed to hear what he said."

His arm was instantly whipped off his face and she received a furious glare. "She's not heartless!"

"Oh, I know that." Alice assured him, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "Just a little unobservant though, our Lily is."

James snorted. "Yeah, just a little." He paused. "And she doesn't think she's better than everyone else either."

"She has high standards."

"She holds herself to those high standards too." James countered, glaring at her as if daring her to disagree.

Alice laughed. "Listen James, you don't have to convince me that Lily is a great person. Maybe just Sirius." They shared a smile. "Don't worry too much." Alice patted his shoulder. "But I now must continue my quest to find a deck of cards. Lily and I are going to play Exploding Snap till we singe off our eyebrows." James laughed at this and shooed her away.

After she had managed to intimidate a group of firsties into giving up their deck of cards, Alice made her way back over to James. "James." She waited until craned his neck to peer up at her. "How are you holding up anyway?"

He held her gaze for a few moments before looking away. "As well as can be expected. I miss them."

Alice squeezed his shoulder, smiling at him when he met her eyes. "It'll get better. I know it seems like it won't, but it does."

James narrowed his eyes before nodding. "I forgot." It was all that needed to be said in explanation.

Alice shrugged. "It's been almost a year now. I just wanted you to know that if you ever need to talk to someone who's gone through the same thing…I'm always here for you." She waggled her eyebrows at him. "Just because you're chasing after my best mate doesn't mean we can't be friends."

James let out a snort of laughter. "Thanks Alice. You better go distract Lily before she manages to convince herself that the world would be better off without her or some other rubbish."

She gave his shoulder one last squeeze before disappearing up the staircase.

Lily tried not to look too nervous as she made her way towards the breakfast tables, book bag heavy on her shoulder. She forced a smile onto her face and slid onto the bench next to Alice, who had conveniently sat next to the Marauders. Remus and Peter smiled at her, but Sirius, she noticed with some unease, scowled into his porridge. James studiously avoided looking at her, choosing instead to start up a loud conversation with Peter about the differences between animate to inanimate and inanimate to animate transfiguration.

She shot Alice an accusing glare. You promised he wouldn't be mad at me!

Alice shrugged and started to butter a slice of toast. "Glad to see your eyebrows grew back."

There was a pause in the conversation and what sounded suspiciously like a choked back laugh.

"Glad to see yours didn't." Lily glared at Alice and poured herself a glass of orange juice. She caught Remus' eye and bit back a smile. He hid his grin behind the Daily Prophet.

They continued to eat breakfast in an awkward silence, broken only by James and Peter's debate, which had deteriorated rather quickly into name calling. Lily finished her eggs as quickly as she could and stood, making a show of checking her watch. "Well, I'm off to class then." She shouldered her book bag. "I'll see you lot later."

She hadn't been sitting at her desk long before Alice slid in next to her. Lily turned on her instantly. "You said he wasn't cross with me!"

"No."Alice said calmly while taking out her textbook. "I said he didn't hate you." She rummaged around in her bag before asking; "Have you got any spare quills, I can't find mine."

"Oh I've got a spare quill for you." Lily muttered.

"Do you then?" Alice exclaimed brightly, ignoring Lily's glares. "Brill, can I have it?"

Lily shoved her quill into her mates hand and crossed her arms. "You look ridiculous without any eyebrows by the way."

"You look ridiculous with eyebrows, so I guess we're even." Alice laughed at the outraged expression on Lily's face. "Come on Lil. Surely you weren't expecting him to pretend nothing happened before you even apologised?" Lily kept quiet because that was exactly what she had been expecting. Alice snorted. "You are still going to apologise, yes?"

Lily mumbled something under her breath and suddenly found her Transfiguration text book very interesting.

Alice laughed and met James' eye as he came into the classroom behind his mates. She rolled her eyes and James grinned before taking his seat behind them. She turned to tell Lily she was being silly but Professor McGonagall swept into the room before she had a chance.

After they had been told to continue with their NEWT revision schedule given out last week, Alice took to prodding Lily with her borrowed quill and whispering "Do it, do it, do it, do it."

"Alice!" Lily exploded after she'd been jabbed a little too hard and had accidently set her parchment on fire when she'd jumped. "Will you stop that?"

"Miss Prewett." McGonagall was suddenly at their desk, frowning down at them. "Do I want to know why you are missing a pair of eyebrows?" She eyed Lily suspiciously.

"I just thought it was time for a change Professor!" Alice answered cheerfully. "Eyebrows are rather overrated, don't you think?"

"I've never really thought about Miss Prewett. Perhaps you can ask Miss Evans here to Conjure you a new pair?"

An evil gleam appeared in Lily's eyes and Alice laughed nervously. "Oh no Professor, I'm quite happy without my eyebrows."

"I see." McGonagall pursed her lips. "I trust your lack of eyebrows hasn't affected your magical ability? I expect to see a perfectly Conjured turtle the next time I come around."

"Yes Professor." Alice murmured, kicking a sniggering Lily under the desk. "When you are going to apologise to James?" She demanded.

Lily subsided into silence and poked moodily at her parchment.

She finally screwed up the courage to face James after dinner. She had noticed him slip out of the Common Room alone and, after a hastily made excuse to Alice, followed him quickly.

"James!" She shouted when she spotted him loping down the corridors towards the kitchens. "James, wait up."

James stopped, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Lily."

Lily wondered if he was greeting the stone wall, because he certainly hadn't looked at her when he said this. "James. I…how are you?"

James gave her an incredulous stare. "How do you think I am?"

Lily spluttered for a bit before blushing. "Ok, daft question. Look…I'm really sorry! I didn't know that your parents had…well that they were…and if I had known I never would have said those awful things to you and…I'm sorry." She finished lamely, her carefully rehearsed apology flying right out of her head. She carefully studied her shoes. "I really am sorry. Your parents would be proud of you. I'm sure they were proud of you. And…you have changed. And I am heartless and a right cow and…"

James' hand fell onto her shoulder and squeezed it gently. Lily took a deep breath and met his eyes, smiling hesitantly. James' eyes twinkled at her behind his glasses. "You are forgiven. You're just lucky that mumbled apology was so endearing." Lily's smile widened with relief and she pretended to wipe the sweat off her forehead. James laughed and shook his head. "How about some delicious chocolate pudding, courtesy of the Hogwarts kitchens? We can talk more while I feed my eternally empty stomach."

"Lead the way." Lily exclaimed, happy that she had managed to apologise to James successfully.

Twenty minutes later Lily found herself laughing so hard she was finding it difficult to breathe, a bowl of the most delicious chocolate pudding she'd ever had sitting in front of her. "You did not!"

"I did!" James assured her, gesturing wildly with his spoon. "My dear mother gave me two choices for a pet - a goldfish - " this was said with deep disgust, "or a toad. Well, as a young boy of seven, of course I chose the toad. They can be rather vicious you know."

Lily giggled. "I'll bet there are loads of toad related deaths in Britain each year."

"More than you're aware of." James replied solemnly. "Some of them are poisonous you know and they hop rather fast. Once a toad has decided to mark you, it's near impossible to escape. It wasn't until I bought Super Fantastic Fearsome Harold The Toad of Doom back home -"

"I'm sorry, what?" Lily interrupted, spoon of pudding halfway to her mouth.

"Super Fantastic Fearsome Harold the Toad of Doom. It was my toad's name." James said this as if it was a perfectly normal name for a toad. "Harry for short of course."

"Of course." Lily murmured, smiling.

"Right, well now that we've gotten that interruption out of the way." He gave Lily a pointed look and she grinned. "Once I bought Harry back home, we found out my Dad has an intense fear of toads." Lily gaped at James. "Yes, I know, it's a bit embarrassing. My Father, renowned Auror, terrified of toads. I only got to keep him for half the day before Dad couldn't handle the fear anymore and got rid of him. I was terribly upset of course and mourned Harry for years afterwards. I never wanted another pet; they wouldn't be able to replace the hole in my life after Harry. It wasn't until I left for Hogwarts that I got another pet and it was an owl, so I could write home every week…" James trailed off and frowned thoughtfully as something occurred to him.

Lily snorted. "Yes. I doubt your father really had an intense fear of toads James. I think you've been hoodwinked."

James' eyes widened. "I can't believe it! I can't believe that they concocted that harebrained scheme just to get me to not want a pet!" He paused, and then said with a cheeky grin. "I'm so proud of them."

Lily burst into laughter. "It must be where you get your penchant for mischief making. They sound brilliant James, I wish I'd had the chance to meet them."

James' smile faded and he suddenly looked very serious. "I really wanted for you to meet them. They would have loved you."

Lily felt herself begin to blush and forced herself to stop. It was nothing, she told herself sternly, I'm sure he wanted loads of people to meet his parents. Her mouth, though, had other ideas and said the last thing her brain wanted it to. "Alice said you don't want to be mates with me. She said that you want to be more than mates." Lily clapped her hand over her mouth and closed her eyes in horror. She had not just said that.

James was silent for so long she was beginning to wonder if he'd just gotten up and left her there. "She's right." Lily's eyes flew open. A red tinge was starting to creep up his neck but he met her startled gaze steadily. "But I'd rather be mates with you than not be mates, so until you're willing to be more than mates, I'm happy with just mates." He paused and mouthed what he just said to make sure it made sense. Lily giggled despite herself. "So until you take pity on my poor crushed heart," James said cheerfully, standing up and dusting off his pants, "we'll just pretend that I want to be nothing more than mates." He winked at her and held out his hand. She placed her hand in his instantly and he hauled her up. "Oof! Too much chocolate pudding for you."

Lily rolled her eyes and elbowed James in the side. "Shut it Potter."

A/N: You guys! Hello! It's been so long...a few people left very lovely reviews on my stories and I started re-reading this one and I thought...it's not actually that bad...I think I could finish this...

So this is, as you can tell, not a new chapter. I decided I'd re-edit the chapters - not very much has been done to it - and start afresh with chapter four. I'm very excited to finally finish this, though it might be a bit of a wait for chapter four, as I'm scrapping everything I had written!

Do you think you can forgive me? Chapter Two REMIX should be up tomorrow :)