Another crazy fanfic about our favourite OTP (One True Pairing). Leave a review if you likeys; leave a review if you hateys. Leave a review if you intend to have a say in how the story works ;)

Disclaimer: Kaitlyn Fall, beta of the year - every year known to man - has kindly edited this fic (and on a side note, is now one year older than she was when she edited Time Warped! Hooray for birthdays!), and Naoko owns all the rights to Sailor Moon. Damn her.

Sailor Moon dodged another razor sharp x-ray that was thrown her way as Sailor Mars beside her burnt up the one aimed at her. Grunting as her knee joints jarred, Sailor Moon dove for the dirt as her moment of hesitation had left her open to a fire of syringes.

"Mercury?!" she called over her shoulder as her friend hastily scanned the Negamonster they were facing. It was a tough one; they were increasingly so. But this one seemed particularly nasty. The body looked human enough – a tall, unattractive woman with flaming red hair pulled into a tight bun. Dressed in a long white coat over her professional blouse and pencil skirt, she had looked like an innocent bystander. It was only when the attack of syringes, x-rays, scissors and clamps had started that the Scouts realised that this was the monster.

"I am Dr. Mishap!" it informed them smugly in a booming voice, for what had to have been the thirtieth time. This constant reminder was beginning to annoy the Scouts more than the monster herself.

"I'm trying! I'm trying!" cried Mercury in despair. "But it won't hold still!"

Sailor Moon sent her tiara at it again, watching as it was easily knocked away by the other-worldly woman's clipboard. Backing towards Sailor Mercury, Sailor Moon kept her eyes on the Negamonster, lest it attack her while her back was turned. But it was too busy fighting off the fire and lightning sent its way to bother with her.

"Sailor Moon! It's the ste-" Sailor Moon turned wide eyed as something rushed past her face, to see Sailor Mercury gagged by a huge...bandaid? Was this lady serious? Glancing back at the busy monster, Sailor Moon ran to her friend, closing the distance between them.

"Mercury!" she said, alarmed when she saw the bandaid wrapped firmly around her whole lower face. It covered her mouth, but she could still breathe through her nose. Sailor Moon raised her hands to remove it, but Sailor Mercury jumped back, shaking her head quickly and yelling muffled, incoherent things.

Sailor Moon stared at her in confusion. Sailor Mercury raised her hands and motioned around her shoulders and behind her neck.

The confused look didn't leave Sailor Moon's face. Sailor Mercury groaned and pointed to the attacker, tapping her computer and tracing around her shoulders again.

Realisation dawned on the blonde Scout. "The stethoscope?" she asked. "Is that what I have to aim for?"

When her friend nodded eagerly again, she looked around for cover. Pointing to a nearby tree that was surrounded by thick, leafy bushes, Sailor Moon told her to hide there until everything was clear. Sailor Mercury didn't need telling twice, and she ran off and settled behind a bush, which concealed her from the fight, but also allowed her to still watch.

Sailor Moon spun on her heel and ran back to the battle, where the woman had Sailor Mars in a similar predicament to Mercury. Pointing towards the direction she just came, she yelled for Sailor Mars to get cover with Mercury until the fight was over. Sailor Mars gave her a glare that clearly said 'Are you kidding?' but Sailor Moon firmly repeated for her to hide.

When it was just her, Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Venus left, Sailor Moon formulated a plan.

"Jupiter! Go in from that side," she yelled, pointing in one direction "and try to get her winded!" Looking at Sailor Venus, she directed, "Venus, once Jupiter's distracted her; I want you to bind her around the middle. Make sure you trap the arms, all right?" When her two Scouts nodded in understanding, Sailor Moon gave the order, and Sailor Jupiter dove at the enemy from its left, head-butting it into a daze whilst Sailor Venus whipped out her Love Me Chain and sent it wrapping around the surprised doctor. It crashed to the ground spraying dust and dirt everywhere.

Sailor Moon raised her hand to her tiara, but the dirt billowing everywhere denied her any chance of using it– unless she wanted to take the chance of slicing one of her friends' arms off. While the others started coughing, Sailor Moon looked through the dust cloud in time to see the furious doctor break the chain by planting syringes in the links, weakening it with corrosive poisons.

"No!" Sailor Moon cried as she dove forward. But it was too late. The enemy broke free and sprang up. Sailor Moon was thrown back by its clipboard once again, which proved to be made of something obviously harder than plastic, like she'd previously thought. Just before she hit the ground however, Sailor Moon felt like she were flying again, but was pleasantly surprised to find herself wrapped up in familiarly strong, warm arms.

Tuxedo Mask landed several paces away and stood up, holding Sailor Moon up steady in front of him.

"Again" he murmured into her ear, his warm breath teasing her hair. Nodding, she reluctantly stepped away from him to repeat the orders to her Scouts. But this time, she pulled her tiara off and waited until Sailor Jupiter dove.

As the enchanted links trapped the monster in place again, this time standing, Sailor Moon ran right up to the youma, flinging her tiara directly at its throat. The monster saw the oncoming attack, however, and threw a series of syringes at the ground before Sailor Moon as she ran.

With one final attempt, Dr. Mishap aimed one straight for Sailor Moon's head, but before it could hit its mark, the tiara connected with her stethoscope, and the syringe exploded as its owner was moondusted.

Tuxedo Mask grabbed Sailor Moon from behind just as there was a blinding white and green light and both were thrown backwards, colliding heavily with a tree.

Sailor Moon stared unblinkingly ahead of her, feeling as though her brain was turning to mush. She gripped her head tightly as her eyes begged to see again. It was almost like the sensation of a brain freeze, when she ate ice cream too quickly. Only it wasn't supposed to hurt this much, was it? And where was everything? She didn't think to call out for help though; it was if her brain had suddenly short circuited.

As the stars cleared before her eyes, Sailor Moon heard a groan behind her. Stumbling forward to her knees, she turned to see Tuxedo Mask slumped against the tree, hat completely knocked off and mask askew. Reaching forward quickly to correct his mask before his identity could be discovered, his eyes opened slowly and he smiled at the sight before him.

"Oh my god! You're okay!" cried Sailor Venus as she ran towards them. The moment was broken and Sailor Moon allowed herself to be helped to her feet before turning to the tuxedo-clad hero and offering her hand.

He took it, and she pulled him up with ease, both turning to Sailor Venus who was still rambling away about the green syringe and how it had exploded right before them and that they should've been injured somehow, but they weren't... Sailor Moon decided not to mention that she couldn't even remember it that much. Besides, she had a growing headache to worry about.

"We're okay," Sailor Moon said loudly over her friend, who stopped talking. "We're okay." A horrible screech resounded nearby and the birds that'd just landed in the trees once again flew out in panic. The trio rushed around a few trees to see Sailor Mars clutching her flaming red face and glaring murderously at a smug Sailor Jupiter, who held a large, limp bandaid in her hand.

"You could have KILLED me!" Mars screamed.

"Bah, don't be ridiculous, look I saved you some money. Now you don't have to get a wax for another few weeks!" Sailor Jupiter said, grinning as she pointed to her upper lip. Sailor Mars roared in fury, her bright red aura flaring up around her. Sailor Jupiter just laughed and kept her friend at bay by holding a long arm out, with her hand on her Sailor Mars' head as the Scout of Fire tried to physically damage her.

Sailor Moon peeked at Tuxedo Mask beside her to see how he was taking this particular spectacle but she found him staring at the place the Negamonster had last been. Following the path of his eyes, Sailor Moon spotted a pile of ...lollipops where the scorch marks began.

"Is she for real?" Sailor Moon asked in a strained voice, sufficiently gaining everyone else's attention. Sailor Mercury whipped out her computer and scanned the pile for any traces of negative energy and they all waited with baited breaths. After an agonising twenty five seconds, she nodded slowly.

"It's SAFE?" Mars asked, bewildered. Nodding again, Sailor Mercury put her computer away. Sailor Moon and Venus squealed in glee and began running to the spot, fighting over who got what flavours whilst Sailors Mars and Jupiter continued to argue.

Tuxedo Mask suddenly felt chills run up and down his spine and he called out to them.

"Sailor Moon, Sailor Venus. Get over here!" Puzzled by his request but frightened by his urgent tone, they complied, each bringing back an armful of sugary goodness. Just as Sailor Moon dove for Tuxedo Mask's cape, the rest of the Scouts watched as cherry blossoms began swirling around midair halfway between them and where they had last seen Dr. Mishap, until Zoisite had appeared. Her annoying high pitched laugh cut the Scout argument short and Jupiter let go of Mars' head, letting her faceplant into the ground.

"Hahahahahahaha, up in friendly fire, are we?" Zoisite said in her famously annoying, nasally voice. "I see you defeated our servant Dr. Mishap here." She nodded to the ground, where all that remained was a charred clipboard and an empty syringe.

"Not to worry, though, I'm sure she's left a lasting impression, ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

An irritated rose was thrown at her, narrowly missing her face, and she scowled before disappearing in a swirl of cherry blossoms.

Everyone looked at each other.

"What," Sailor Moon voiced after quite some time, "was she talking about?"

"I don't know" said Sailor Jupiter, cleaning out an ear with a gloved pinky, "but that laugh sure bites!"

Sailor Moon's eyes widened as she remembered her gagged friend.

"Sailor Mercury!"

All eyes zoomed in as the blue-clad Scout stood up silently from behind the bushes. Sailor Jupiter smacked her hand to her forehead, and Sailor Venus tried to copy, but somehow managed to end up poking herself in the eye instead.

Moving slowly towards the group, Sailor Mercury eyed her team warily as if deciding who to ask for help from.

Sailor Moon stepped up cautiously to her friend and raised her hands slowly, to show her she was going to be the one to do it. Visibly shrinking in fear, the other Scouts crowded in on her until they blocked her whole line of vision. Each was suggesting the best method to Sailor Moon who was feeling for the edges of the large bandaid.

"Just rip it off really quickly, like a bandaid!" Sailor Venus said eagerly.

"It is a bandaid, you retard!" Sailor Mars retorted.

"That's why you rip it off quickly!" Sailor Jupiter replied, rolling her eyes.

Sailor Mercury eyed them nervously as Sailor Moon gripped the edge on one side and began to slowly peel it across her face. Her hands flew to her face to hold her skin down as tight as she could while her eyes filled with tears. Soon it was a quarter done, then halfway, then three-quarters done, then –

"AHHHHHHHH!" Sailor Venus screamed, latching herself onto Sailor Jupiter and kicking her leg spastically. The sudden interruption scared Sailor Moon, and she visibly jumped in her boots, accidentally ripping the rest of the bandaid off and earning a pained cry from her friend.

Sailor Moon spun just in time to see Sailor Jupiter lean down and flick a lizard off Sailor Venus' calve. Sighing, she turned back to Sailor Mercury and muttered an apologetic sorry. The blue-haired Scout simply nodded, feeling her tingling face and testing out the sensitive skin by probing it lightly with her fingertips.

"Right, well. If this is it for the night...?" a male voice trailed off.

The Scouts all turned to him in shock and his expression turned from uncertainty to alarm.

"What?" he asked as the girls continued to stare at him. He was answered in multitude.

"Why are you still here?"

"Aren't you usually gone by now?"

"You're a magician aren't you? Pulling that disappearing act and everything!"

"Sailor Venus, he jumps into trees and runs off. You've seen him do that."

"Well there's a trick to every trick!" huffed Sailor Venus as she folded her arms.

Tuxedo Mask backed away as the Scouts continued bickering, feeling a headache coming on. Just as he reached the trunk of a thick tree, he heard a musical voice beside him.

"Thanks for sticking around this time."

But when he looked, Sailor Moon was already walking back towards her friends, but not before throwing him one last bright smile.

By the time Serena got in through her bedroom window, it was almost midnight. Unhooking her broach from her school uniform and placing it on her bedside table, she threw her clothes on the floor and slipped into her pyjamas – not even bothering to correct them when she realised she'd put them on backwards.

Kneeling down by her bedside table again, she opened the bottom draw and took out what she needed before stumbling towards the bathroom. As she took two headache tablets and washed it down with water from the tap, Serena felt a wave of dizziness, but it passed quickly and she thought nothing of it. Stumbling back to bed, Serena crawled under the covers and promptly fell asleep.