Ok, this just kind of came to me. It was just a thought. What would a blooper reel for SSB be like? I think this is a close guess.

Snake Failures

Grenade Fail

"Alright, let's see how you like this," Snake muttered, pulling out one of his seemingly endless supply of grenades and pulled the pin. Ok, I throw it now and get the full five second fuse, he thought to himself. Or I can wait, letting it become a three second fuse. But which choice is the right choice. Hmmmmm….this is kinda like one of those to be or not to be situations, isn't it? Five second or three second…five or thr-

BOOOOM

"HOLY FUCK! MY HAND! I JUST FUCKING BLEW OFF MY FUCKING HAND! WHAT KIND OF A FUCKING IDIOT AM I?! DAMN, THAT FUCKING HURTS SO FUCKING MUCH! OH, FUCK, FUCK, FUUUUUUCK!!!!"

***

Hide Fail

"Damn it, that is the last time I ever mess with those swordsmen," Snake said to himself, running from Ike, Roy, Marth, and Link. "I only have one option open to me. An option that I never thought would have to be used again." He pulled a cardboard box out of nowhere, pulling it over his head and ducking down under it. "Heh heh, they'll never find me in here."

"Fucking moron," Link said. "Alright guys, let's get him." Link stabbed his sword into the box, leaving it there.

"HOLY SHIT!" Snake had just managed to move his left arm up and out of the blade's path. He then had to move his head, right arm, and back to avoid the last three swords. Snake gulped, sweating bullets. "Please, be the only thing they do. Hey, why the hell am I moving?" Link and the other swordsmen were pushing Snake's box to the edge of a cliff.

"On three," Roy said.

"One," Link said.

"Two," came from Marth.

"THREE!" All four of the swordsmen gave the box one last push, sending Snake over the edge.

"!!!!!" Snake yelled the entire way down, the yell becoming quieter as he neared the bottom.

***

Rocket Fail

"Hang on, let me read the manual," Snake said, holding up his hand. He pulled out a small thick book, flipping a few pages. "This thing is laser guided. That is so fucking sweet." He pulled out a small rocket launcher, looking down the sight at Wolf. "Ok, pull the trigger and aim the laser." He pulled the trigger and watched as the rocket made its way toward Wolf. "Hmmmmm…" Unable to resist his curiosity, he moved the laser to the left and the rocket mimicked its movement. "SWEET!" He began to move the barrel around, the rocket following each movement. He moved it into loops, forgetting about the fight. The rocket suddenly stopped above him and hung there for a few seconds. "I don't like where this is going." The rocket nosed down and fell on him, exploding on him and knocking him off of the stage.

Wolf was puzzled and bent down to read the page that Snake still had the book open to. "Warning. Rocket has five second flight time limit," he read out loud.

***

Pick-Up Fail

Snake whistled as Samus walked by, his eyes moving up and down her body. "Hey there, baby, how about coming to my room," Snake said, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed.

"My, my, my, someone's very confident," Samus said, a coy smile coming to her lips. She began to walk towards him, putting a little swing into her hips. When she neared him, she sent her fingers up and down his arm. "So, do you like aggressive girls?"

"Oh, yes. Yes I do," Snake said, giving her a wink.

"Oh. Well, that's too bad for you. Because aggressive girls don't," she emphasized don't and brought her knee up hard into his crotch, causing him to grimace and bend, "like being picked up like that." She walked off, leaving him to curl up into a fetal position, unable to move.

"I hate my life sometimes," he said, his voice two octaves higher than normal.

Again, something I thought would be something of a blooper reel. I don't own any of the characters of SSB. Request a character and I'll see what I can do.