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Summary: Bella feels like she has settled for the ordinary in her life. Her best friend Alice tries to help her broaden her horizons. Will it work?

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt your life was not as it should be? That there was more? To life? To love? My best friend Alice keeps telling me that there is. I don't really want to believe her though.

I've slowly come to the conclusion that she might be right. I did the one thing that I swore I'd never do. I've settled. Settled for the job that pays the bills. Settled for the guy that is comfortable.

Not that these facts haven't been pointed out to me time and again by Alice. Every single chance she got.

She hadn't settled. She was still looking for her prince charming while I was keeping company with the frog (her words, not mine). She was working in her chosen career field. She hadn't managed to snag her dream job, but she was working on it. Her passion was fashion and she worked for an agency that helped fill in need temporary positions in the fashion world. She worked all over Seattle and no job was ever the same. Personal dresser or shopper for the rich, working behind the scenes at a fashion show or just filling in as a greeter at various department store events. Whatever the job was, she happily did it. She loved to design clothes and she tried to get me to wear her latest creations to work.

The furthest I've gotten towards my dreams was the big move from Forks to Seattle. Forks is where I spent my teenage years after my mother remarried. Her new husband travelled a lot and she wanted to spend time with him on the road. I volunteered to go and live with my father Charlie, Fork's Chief of Police, so she could do so.

My dream while growing up had always been to become a famous writer. English was my favourite school subject and I'd always ask my teachers for extra work. Unfortunately, after moving to Seattle, I let real life over power my dreams and settled for working in the secretarial pool of Cullen Security Services.

The company handles all sorts of security issues in and around the city. From installing high end security systems to supplying individual body guards for celebrities and other important people that visit. I have never actually met the three brothers that own the company.

My dreams became a distant memory as my 9-5 job and the bills it paid took over much to the chagrin of my dear Alice.

My love life? Well, I see my boyfriend as often as either he can make it from Forks or I can go there. Our relationship is not exciting or passionate. It's comfortable. I'm not saying that Jake isn't a wonderful guy. He is. There just isn't the wild chemistry between us that Alice has always been adamant that there should be.

Jacob is the son of my father's best friend, Billy. They've know each other for so many years that I don't know if there wasn't a time they didn't. They spent every spare moment together fishing or watching sports. I love them both dearly.

It became quite apparent after I moved to Forks that it was expected that Jacob and I would be together as a couple. Both my father and Billy made it quite clear to both of us. We were comfortable together. We became friends almost from the instant we met my first night in town. It wasn't until later that anything actually happened between us. My senior year in fact.

I met Alice on my first day of school at Fork's High. She bounced her way into my life that day and has never left. She was my lifeline through high school. I was extremely introverted, still am if I'm honest, and she is my polar opposite. If it hadn't been for her, I'd never done anything but hide in my room reading books or hanging out with Jacob at La Push, the reservation that he called home.

By my senior year, I still hadn't been on a date although Alice tried her darndest to dress me up to attract the opposite sex. No one bit. I started seeing Jacob by Hallowe'en of that year. He had always shown interest in me but I'd fought against it knowing that Billy and my father was all for it. Who actually wanted to date a guy that their father was all approving of? Not me at the time.

When Alice left, I was devastated. I understood why but it didn't ease the loss I felt. We had lost touch until we found each other again when I moved here. Who would I be Barbie for now? Who could I tell my secrets to? The rest of my time in Forks was the loneliest time of my life. That may have been why I decided to give Jacob a chance.

The first time that we went out, I thought Charlie was going to burst with happiness. I was glad someone was happy about it. I was just comfortable.

With Jake, everything was comfortable. Being together. Kissing. Sex. Everything. I didn't know what it was like to feel the passion or fire that Alice was always on about. I was starting to yearn for it lately. I wanted something more than comfortable.

This chapter has been edited on July 3, 2011
It has not been beta'd. I hope you enjoyed it :)

Reviews are good, just saying LOL

Posted on 2011-07-03

Words: 993