A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews, alerts and favorites for chapter one. Those emails always make me smile. This update is brought to you in honor of the birthday of Carolina17 and the brilliant idea of her buddy and mine Phalangesbyfive. Hope you enjoy it!

Chapter Two

Time moved agonizingly slow as they unlocked the final answers of their case. She kept one eye on work and the other on the odd behavior of her partner who never strayed far from the boys. With the hours ticking by, her mask of cool professionalism wore thin until, eventually, nerves dissolved into disappointment. Ten hours later, they were both put out of their misery when his publisher swooped in to whisk him away to an event uptown. Their suspect in custody, she headed home shortly after he did. Exhausted and frustrated, she was left wondering how a day that began with so much promise could have ended so badly.

Sunday passed without a word between them. The mystery of why a beautiful moment became painfully awkward dominated her thoughts without any acceptable explanations. Resisting the urge to call him, she spent much of the day checking her phone, each time aggravated by her own foolishness. The man was never out of touch. Too often, he'd proven his penchant for using the most ridiculous excuses to talk to her when they weren't working. If he wanted to say something, she would have already heard from him. While answers eluded her, she couldn't stop thinking about the one thing she never questioned as true. His desire to get her into his bed. What she never figured out was whether he would ever want anything beyond one night. As the sun set, she believed more and more that he did not.

An unexpected publisher's meeting kept him away from the precinct on Monday. Unable to remember if he had mentioned the appointment or if it was one more way to avoid talking to her, she concluded it no longer mattered. Whatever the reason, his silence confirmed the suspicions she's had since the beginning. The flirting, the teasing were no more than a cure for the writer's boredom. A game to be played out in public for his own amusement. Their attraction, no matter how strong it seemed, was enough to sustain the chase but nothing more permanent. Really, none of it was permanent. Not their friendship, not their partnership. One day it would all end. That night, she decided not kissing Rick Castle was for the best.

Tuesday saw the resumption of their game as if their lips had never almost touched, as if she hadn't been excited to be in his arms. The detective seized control and led them further down a path of denial that he seemed more than happy to join her on. If they couldn't gather the courage to talk about this, there was no way they would survive a relationship. Four unbearable days had persuaded her it was the right thing to do for them and the people who, undoubtedly, would be caught in the crossfire of a failed romance. Three years had convinced her that leading with her pride was the only way to protect her heart from the playboy who made her believe she was extraordinary.

By Wednesday, the anger and frustration that had been simmering all week boiled over. Esposito and Ryan made themselves scarce and she wished he had too. True, she had been the one to act as if things were fine but that didn't mean it hurt less when he chose to let her. She didn't know what upset her more. That she knew his infamous reputation and fell for him anyway or that he couldn't even be bothered to put up a fight. It left her longing for the guy who threw caution to the wind and went after what he wanted. For all their talk of action, neither seemed willing to deal with the other beyond word play, bickering and innuendo. Both would rather spend their days chasing dangerous killers than deal with the attraction that threatened to incinerate them and everything they spent three years building.

After enduring another sleepless night, it was in front of that very same murder board that she decided to try one more time. The risk was high. It always had been with the two of them. That's the reason they're still stuck. This time felt different. This time she was willing to accept that the reward of trying would be much greater than the pain of never knowing. To acknowledge that, at some point, he had become whom she measured the men in her life against. When she stepped back, the truth was crystal clear. It wasn't his feelings that she doubted. After three years, that would be unfair. She may not have always noticed, but he had proven time and again his loyalty and his love. That he cared about her wasn't what she doubted. She doubted that he was able to follow through on those feelings. Didn't trust that they were able to survive a romance gone bad. Those were the wild cards that fueled her hesitation. Still, she knew the day would come when she chose one person to spend her life with. She didn't want to spend it questioning whether it should have been him.

That is how Kate Beckett realized what she wanted was right in front of her and worth fighting for.

Now here they sit, working much too late on a Friday night in a bullpen deserted hours ago. Perfect bookends to a desk bearing her nameplate but belonging to them. A desk that witnessed the metamorphosis from adversaries to partners to friends to something neither can define. The site of so many exchanges of admissions and denials yet none as important as the conversation she doesn't quite know how to begin.

"Exactly how much coffee did you drink today Detective? I don't think I've ever seen you so fidgety."

His words halt the movement of her pen as her chest tightens and the nerves she battled all day fly into overdrive. Was she really ready to take this leap of faith with the same man she once swore to shut out of her life? The man she never imagined trusting at all.

Dropping her pen, she lets out a breath and swallows the last of her doubt. It's time. Time for her to have the courage to stop denying the proof she sees in his eyes every day. What she knows is true in her own heart.

"What are we doing Castle?"

"You're doing paperwork while we both pretend that I'm not watching you. You know, like we do."

"No. I mean, when we…what…what do you want Castle?"

"Right now I could go for some dinner. If you hurry up we can still…"

The words die on his lips as he watches her clear the desk between them before settling into a position he knows well. Seeing the steely determination invade her eyes as she leans back with her arms firmly crossed, he realizes that the moment he thought died at the murder board may have some life yet.

"That's really how you wanna play this Castle?"

Almost a week later this isn't what he expected. He expected it Saturday, but it never came. He hoped for it Sunday, even Monday but nothing. Then Tuesday came. That was the day Kate Beckett did the one thing he dreaded most. She bottled up the feelings revealed so effortlessly that Saturday morning and pretended they never existed. With each passing hour, her business as usual style, turned his fear that she wished their almost kiss never happened into a truth. Believing he was doing what she wanted, he reluctantly fell back into their long running charade. Betraying his instincts to convince himself that it was the best choice for them both. Now, faced with uncertain green eyes, he knows he's done the one thing neither wanted.

"Kate"

As the reality that this will change everything looms over her, she fights to silence the second thoughts bombarding her mind. She is not a coward. Neither is he. They've both tried to move their relationship forward, each time thwarted by fear, pride or timing. With every failed attempt, they chose to ignore the truth as the lie between them grew larger and their chances came further and further apart. This time she's determined to hold the line and finish what she set out to do. Steadying her nerves, she surveys the empty bullpen one final time.

"Just answer the question Castle."

Eyes wide, his mind travels to that morning as it had so many times since Saturday. The feel of his hands on her waist, her hand making its way into his pocket and that look on her face. Of all the looks she's ever given him, none excited him more than the one full of anticipation as she waited for his phone call to end. For the first time, she was surrendering to wanting that kiss as much as he did, admitting that she was ready for more than the comfortable friendship forged under unusual circumstances. After three years, he was ready too.

"Look Castle, if you're scared"

"I'm not."

"Really?"

One word, thick with a sarcasm only she can muster, sends his mind reeling and renders his words useless. His denial isn't a lie. He's not scared. He's petrified. Petrified of screwing up one of the most important relationships in his life. Losing Kate Beckett for real would be worse than losing money or pride. Whether they admit it or not, they both know he is a fixture at the 12th precinct for more than research. At anytime, he could have walked away for good. He never did. Never wanted to. The only time he willingly left was when it hurt too much to watch another man steal her heart. Even then, he only managed to stay away a summer. A summer spent thinking as much about what his muse was doing as her alter ego. Nikki Heat was never the reason he stayed. The flirting, the teasing, the excitement were never why he stayed. It was always Kate. A life with her is exactly what he wants. So many days later, he's just not sure he's ready to risk what they have to go after it.

"Well, us almost…the idea of maybe there being an us freaks me out. Really freaks me out."

"That's very comforting."

"You know what I mean Castle."

He does, even though, part of him is stunned that the woman who's always denied the possibility of the two of them ever being anything more than friends and colleagues is pushing this conversation forward. It shouldn't surprise him. For most of their relationship, while he had been the pursuer, she had been the one who pushed them over the edge into new territory. She was the one who showed up at his door, shared the details of a painful past and challenged him to be better. He may play the role of risk taker but she has always been the brave one. For reasons unbeknownst to him, like she's done so many times, she's choosing to step through the door they opened that Saturday morning.

"I'm not afraid. I'm just not sure it's a good idea. Us. I mean, you're one and done and I'm 0 for 2."

That is as honest as he can be. He has no doubt they would be incredible together. Just as he has no doubt he will find a way to mess it up. That's the part that terrifies him.

Being a realist, she ran through every scenario before taking this leap. While her mind came up with a slew of possibilities, good and bad, her heart believed only one would be true. That's what inspired this naive attempt to recapture their latest lost opportunity. After everything, she was sure he was ready for more. Now, his uncertainty stings worse than she ever imagined. Still, she'll soldier on even as her instincts warn her to retreat. The first time he rejected her, that's exactly what she had done. The second time, she wilted under the shock of a renewed romance with an ex-wife. This time, with only the two of them here, she won't let herself back down. They both need to hear the truth. Whatever it may be. It's the only way they'll ever have a chance to escape the dead end they've wandered into. This time she will not succumb to the fear. Not hers or his.

"Thing is Castle I could pretend that if your phone didn't ring we wouldn't have kissed. That there's nothing between us besides harmless flirtation. I could do that. You've made it pretty obvious you could too."

"Kate"

"Don't. Just don't. We can move on. No hard feelings. No awkwardness. We can go back to flirting and joking. I just need to know the truth. I think we both do."

An uncomfortable mix of panic and awe washes over him as he listens to a gorgeous Kate Beckett, who could have any man in the city, calling him on his bullshit. It's not the first time, but it's the first time she's done it using that interrogation tone combined with eyes that could melt the hardest of hearts. Only she could still seem so formidable while putting her heart out there for him to claim or turn away.

Powered by pure determination, she moves in closer and swears she sees him lean just a little further back in his chair.

"You flirt. You tease. Then, when it comes right down to it you don't choose a side. You call me the control freak, yet you're just as comfortable as I am. You'd rather walk the safe, familiar line than choose a side. I don't know if it's because you don't want to or because you can't, but I've made my choice. Now, it's your turn."

Words fail him as disappointment clouds her eyes. He wants to say something. Feels his lips moving but hears nothing. In an instant, he's back at the bottom of a staircase struggling to say goodbye when both believed he would abandon Nikki Heat and the streets of NYC for a glitzy spy story. Then too, all the things he'd wanted to say got stuck in his throat while a tornado swirled in his mind. She had taken the lead that day, ending their partnership with a clumsy handshake. Like now, when it mattered most, fear and doubt left him paralyzed to say the truth she needed to hear.

In a matter of minutes, his silence whips up the nausea in her belly, wounds her pride and breaks her heart. Bouyed by the last of her hope, she wills herself to wait a little longer for words she's not sure will come. For a moment, she hears his voice questioning her at the Nikki Heat party. What man has ever rejected you? She's never forgotten that question or the fight that followed. She prepares herself to handle this rejection better. No fighting. No grand gesture of dispatching him from her life. This isn't a case of all or nothing. Not anymore. Not for her. She can go back to spending her days without him but he's embedded himself so deeply into her life, she doesn't want to. As the likelihood of something more slips further away, she prefers to put what obviously was a mistake behind them because she would rather have his friendship than nothing at all. Letting go of her lip, she offers an awkward smile instead of the sigh of disappointment that wants to escape.

"Right. We just got carried away."

Eyes burning, she pushes herself up and grabs her jacket before the firestorm of emotions completely overwhelms her.

"I'll see you Monday Castle."

And once more Rick Castle watches Kate Beckett walk away.