Perfect, a bones fanfic

So I heard this song on a Booth & Brennan 100th episode Youtube video (.com/watch?v=JmsJ2iMiRYA ) and I like totally fell in love with this song. It wouldn't get out of my head so I decided to write a songfic. I haven't written one before but I figured it's just the same as writing any other story.

This is another 100th episode story but that's all that came to me. It's set during (or after, I'm not quite sure) the final heartbreaking scene.

Enjoy!

Perfect – Hedley

Falling a thousand feet per second
You still take me by surprise
I just know we can't be over
I can see it in your eyes

The pure doubt in her eyes was what scared him the most. If there was only one way that he was able to read her, it was through her eyes. When she was examining remains or holding a femur or any bone in her hands, her eyes held this alluring sparkle, like what she was looking at was the most amazing thing she had ever laid eyes on. This was the look he was hoping to have received. She'd only ever given him this look twice in their six years of knowing each other; both during that first case they shared. Firstly, when he'd admitted to wanting to ask her out; that was the first time the saying 'the sparkle in their eye' had had any meaning to him. Secondly, just after she'd broken away from their drunken kiss, they'd held a sort of seductive longing that had made him just that little more eager to be with her. But now, all her eyes held was doubt, hesitation, uncertainty. It was like she was regretting pulling away those few short minutes ago, but at the same time knowing it couldn't be any other way.

Making every kind of silence takes a lot to realize
It is worse to finish then to start all over and never let it lye
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall even if you said I was wrong

After their session with Sweets, he was sure she was feeling the same as him. Feeling the pull that he'd felt when he'd walked into that lecture theatre and laid eyes on her for the first time; the curiosity to the mystery of her odd career choice, the static coursing between them as they sat ever so close at the bar, tequila flowing heavily through their systems. He was almost certain that after reliving these moments, she would have also felt that spark reignite. That she would at least rethink her decision all those years ago, before she'd run to that taxi. He had been wrong on all accounts. She hadn't been thinking, as he had, that maybe instead of going on and on, dancing around these feelings, that they could maybe start again and go back to that first time. Back to the time before they got to know each other and her boundaries had formed solidly in front of him.

I'm not perfect but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I am not alive if I'm lonely
So please don't leave
Was it something I said or was it just my personality

He didn't get it. Why was she able to flirt with men, go out on dates with men, sleep with men, when she might have only met them earlier that day, or week, or month? He had known her for six years. He worked with her day in and day out. He protected her every moment he could. He knew her as well as he knew himself. What did these men know about her? She's rich, writes books and examines bones for a living. They don't know that when she sits at her desk and bites her bottom lip, she's having a problem with one of her books or with her editor. That she can't let people in, really in, because of her past, but she tries the hardest she can to be just like everyone else. They don't know a thing about her that actually means something. He does. These men aren't sleeping with her because they think it may go somewhere or because they love who she is. If she would allow him to date her, it wouldn't be because of the same simple reasons as all those other men. It was because he loved her; inside and out, everything that made her perfect and every single one of her flaws. What was so great about these one night stands, when he was standing right in front of her, practically begging for her to choose him.

Silence can say more than words. It can hurt more than words as well. When he'd left Sweets' office, he truly thought he'd be going home with Bones that night or Bones with him. But sitting in his car after dropping Bones off at her apartment, remembering the silence of the car trip home, it stung. He couldn't remember a time when they'd been in the car together when they hadn't spoken. Even after their first case, when he'd picked her up at the airport, she'd still spoken to him, as angry as she was. She was still able to make jokes and even then she'd said goodbye to him when she got out of the car. Tonight she hadn't. She hadn't said a single word. He'd pulled up outside her apartment block and she'd simply smiled sweetly at him and slipped out of the car; silently.

I'm not perfect but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I am not alive if I'm lonely
So please don't leave
Was it something I said or was it just my personality

She had told him she couldn't change. He agreed with her, she couldn't change. Her mind's path was already set to what she could and couldn't accept. She couldn't change that, not for anyone. Even if she could, she wouldn't. Those particular things that no one could change about her, were the things that had shaped her the most. But the ironic thing in all of it, was that he had never expected or wanted her to change; not for him, not for anyone. In his eyes, she was perfect already.

When you're caught in a lie
And you got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run
And got nothing inside

Maybe he shouldn't have forced her to kiss him; maybe she wasn't ready. But he could've sworn she kissed him back, even if it was only for a minute amount of time. He'd forced himself on her, but he really couldn't help himself. He couldn't hold it back. She had no way of escape. In that moment, she couldn't just go and bury herself in work; it was late and the lab was closed. Maybe if he had eased her into it, she wouldn't have backed away. Maybe if she'd kissed him on her own accord, she could have been in his arms right now. But she was lying. The reason she couldn't be with him wasn't because of the FBI no-romance rule; it was because she was afraid, as she had been so many times before. He had trapped her and it had pushed her over the edge.

It tears right through me
You thought that you knew me
You thought that you knew

He wasn't the same man he was when he met her. He wasn't even the same man around her than when he was around Cam or Angela. She had changed him for the better, she still was. Her rejection ripped through him like a recently sharpened machete. He had silently apologized to women he had broken up with, because if this is how they had felt, he truly felt he needed to apologise.

I'm not perfect but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I am not alive if I'm lonely
So please don't leave
Was it something I said or was it just my personality

He paced up and down the corridor in front of her apartment door for an hour. Rehearsing what he would say, how he would say it. However, he still couldn't bring up the courage to knock on her door; such a simple movement after doing it time after time again. Now, it seemed scary. The thought of having to knock on the door and be greeted by her scared him. He was scared she would close the door in his face, or that she'd open the door and he'd be able to tell that she'd been crying, because he couldn't handle the thought that he'd been the one to cause those tears.

Without even noticing he'd done it, he'd knocked, and he could hear her undo the locks on the inside of the door. She opened the door wide and he was relieved to see that her eyes were not puffy and red. He stepped inside the door as she held it open for him.

"Look, I don't want to force myself onto you but I am sorry for doing so before. And I'm apologizing in advance for doing so again," he said, almost breathless, as he shut the door with his foot and crashed his lips down on hers. Pressing his body up against hers, he tangled one hand in her damp hair and the other pressed against the warm skin of her lower back.

Breaking apart slowly, she whispered, his lips still brushing against hers, "I'm not perfect, but I will keep trying," he presses his lips lightly against hers quickly and then added, "for you."

I'm not perfect but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I am not alive if I'm lonely
So please don't leave
Was it something I said or was it just my, just myself
Just myself
I'm not perfect but I keep trying

I hope you liked it and you should look up the song 'cause it's really good and very catchy. Please review and let me know what you thought

Em xXxXxxx