"I'm telling you, the Phantom is just creepy."

"It's supposed to be romantic, Sirius," Hermione chastised.

"What's romantic about kidnapping a girl and showing her your stalker-cave?"

"It's not a stalker-cave. He loves her."

"He's creepy."

"You had all those pictures of me before we got together."

"That was so I could get off. Totally different vibe."

"You're disgusting."

"You think I'm cute."

"I think the Phantom's cute."

"I think you need your eyes checked."

…

"Ow! Jesus, woman, don't pinch me."

"Don't insult me."

"Stop thinking creepy men who stalk people are cute and I won't."

"You thought the little blonde dancer was cute."

"She is cute."

"Proving my point."

"She doesn't stalk people. Why don't you like Raoul? He's cute and he doesn't stalk people."

"Shouldn't you be telling me not to like other men?"

"They're fictional. If you were looking at real men, then we'd have an issue."

"Because you're jealous."

"Because you're gorgeous, and I don't want them getting the wrong idea."

…

"Well… oh! Don't try to distract me!"

"Who's distracting? I was kissing my girlfriend."

"You're changing the subject."

"Yes, because I find your affection for deformed men disturbing."

"I find your affection for models with fake breasts disturbing."

"I find your breasts enchanting, darling."

"Oh, shut up Sirius Black! I'm trying to watch the movie!"

"Fine. Watch your creepy stalker lover. I'll just be over here, by myself, thinking about your pretty little mouth wrapped around my-"

"Sirius!"

"You know how the movie ends, love. Why don't we go upstairs?"

"I'm comfortable here."

"Then scoot down a bit and spread your legs. You can watch the movie and I'll have my fun. You don't even have to like it."

"Am I not allowed to like it now?"

"By all means, darling, enjoy it. Be quite vocal. Let's see if you can drown out the Phantom, shall we?"