A/N: So yeah, this is completely and utterly random and illogical, but I just couldn't resist. If it proves popular I might do some more scenes in a sort of semi-stand alone style, so don't forget to tell me what you think!
DISCLAIMER: Neither Alex, nor Wolf, nor anything else you recognise, belong to me. I'm just borrowing them. I promise to return them to the wonderful Anthony Horrowitz (mostly) unharmed.
***
The car drew to a halt. The journey had passed in awkward silence and Alex was slumped in the passenger seat of the car and scowled at the driver, his unintended husband, Wolf. The soldier's teeth were clenched in anger and his eye was starting to twitch. Any second now...
"This is ridiculous!" exploded Wolf, slapping the steering wheel with both hands. Alex simply growled in agreement. It was probably the only thing they actually agreed on.
Alex didn't wait to hear Wolf's next comment, opting instead to grab his bag from the backseat and head towards the apartment. Just through the door into the – ridiculously unlived in – apartment, he dropped the bag. He heard Wolf trip and swear and snorted, then winced as he felt the heat of Wolf's glare rest upon him.
"Brat," muttered Wolf, kicking the bag over to the wall.
"No need to take it out on the bag," pouted Alex. In reality, he couldn't care less. It wasn't really his stuff, after all. It was Alex Marquerink's. He'd go and get some of his stuff tomorrow, if MI6 really did insist on him going through with this farce of a marriage.
But honestly, they hadn't even married under their own names! He didn't even know Wolf's name!
It was obviously just some evil plot of Blunt's to torture him some more.
He looked momentarily towards the kitchen area but passed on the food in favour of sleep. It felt like he hadn't slept in weeks.
So this was the living room. And there were two doors.
The first door he opened was actually quite a nice bathroom and Alex toyed with the idea of a nice long bath with the door locked, barred and bolted, before his eyes drooped shut again and he reluctantly closed the door.
He opened the last one and stepped through. The bedroom was nice too. In fact, surprisingly, Wolf and he seemed to have quite similar tastes. The walls were a warm tan colour, with a pale cream carpet and white and chocolate bedding on the low bed.
The one. Small. Double. bed.
"Oh hell no!"
***