(A/N: This fic is rated T for language, and innuendo. I do not own Naruto in any way.)

Well, I own volume 30 but that's it.

4/13/10

"So, you good, Hina-chan? Anything else you need?"

"No thank you, Naruto-kun." Hinata answered. "You've done more than enough."

"Yeah, Naruto-baka! Leave us alone already!" Sakura added her two cents worth. "Sasuke-kun, please take this dobe away, we're trying to have our girl-time!" She exclaimed, gesturing to Hinata, Ino, Tenten, and herself, all around a table.

Surprisingly, it was Sai who cut in. "Yes. I am doubtful that getting 'shit-faced', as you put it, is an enjoyable experience, but Ino-chan has taught me that it is good to try new things. Let's go, Dickless."

Naruto spluttered indignantly as Sasuke, Sai, and Neji dragged him away, but managed to shout out a "See you later, Hina-chan!" as he disappeared from view.

"Finally, they're gone!" Sakura moaned in relief. "Those guys get on my nerves sometimes, especially that Naruto."

Ino smirked. "Really, Forehead? Is dear Sasuke-kun boring you? I'll have you know that things never get stale with Sai-kun." Just a few months ago, her and Sai had started dating, much to the surprise of the Konoha 12. They were quite the odd couple. "He may be a little off sometimes, but he's so romantic, even if he does it on accident."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "No, Sasuke-kun's the bestest! Sai is just way too weird for me! He doesn't even understand the concept of nicknames! He just thinks it's appropriate to call everyone the opposite of what they really are?"

Tenten snorted into her tea. "Really? I find that hard to believe. You two have been married for what, two and a half years now? This entire time, I've never even seen him kiss you in public, give you a hug, or even smile!"

"That's because Sasuke doesn't need to show me his love for me to feel it! He's a very deep person on the inside, his soul just overflows with emotion!" Sakura said with absolute conviction.

Tenten decided to let the girl live in her own fantasies. "At least Neji-kun and Naruto aren't afraid to show that they love me and Hinata. Although…" She mused. "…It did take a while to pull that stick out of Neji's ass, huh Hinata?"

Hinata blushed. "Ano…yes." She admitted."

Ino leaned in, hungry for gossip as always. "So how is life being married to Konoha's Number One Blonde Hyperactive Knucklehead? You know…" She smiled mischeviously. "Sai calls him Dickless, you know."

Sakura squealed. "Ohh, is he 'taking care' of you? You two've been married for almost three years now, and you don't have kids, what's up? Is his kunai too small?"

"We just want to wait awhile before we decide to become parents. I'll have you know that Naruto-kun is perfect capable of satisfying me." Hinata snapped. How dare they think about Naruto-kun like that!

However, she had unwittingly fallen into Ino's 'trap'.

"Really? So how big is he?"

Hinata paused with a massive blush on her face, horribly embarrassed. On one hand, that was completely personal information; Ino had absolutely no right to know that. On the other hand, Naruto's honor was at stake here: with Ino's horrid habit for gossip, everyone was sure to know, and if Hinata didn't answer the question, Ino would assume that Naruto was too small. Soon, everyone would think that, Naruto would never hear the end of it. Naruto was far too caring to ever hold it against his wife, but putting Naruto through any kind of stress was the last thing on Hinata's mind. The former Hyuga decided to just tell the truth.

"Um…you do know that Sai means the exact opposite of whatever he says, right?" She held her hands apart, and the other girls' jaws dropped in disbelief.

A very, very short oneshot. It's late, but I don't feel like doing school work.

Oh, and lunarmage, I'm pretty sure this is appropriate…kind of…relatively…somewhat…a little bit…okay, nevermind. I'm sure you're absolutely offended by this.

Oh well. You know the drill, people. Press that fancy looking new review button!