FIFTY THINGS IANTO LEARNT IN TORCHWOOD 3
As the title says it is 50 things that Ianto learnt whilst working at Torchwood 3
A special thanks goes out to Owensheart who helped me all though this fic. I would have been doomed without her help.
1) It is easy to get hired if you can make coffee and look good in a suit.
2) Torchwood 3 does not carry pterodactyl nets.
3) No one else knows how to use the coffee machine.
4) You shouldn't approach Owen in the morning without coffee.
5) This is even more true when he is hung over.
6) Suzie doesn't like people sneaking up behind her.
7) You shouldn't do this especially when she is holding a blowtorch
8) Owen can't seem to tell the difference between tea and coffee
9) Telling him this is a sure way of getting a scalpel thrown at you.
10) Scalpels hurt.
11) You shouldn't leave chocolate on your desk. Not if you don't want Myfanwy to eat it.
12) None of the others know how to use a bin.
13) Jack will flirt with anything that breathes.
14) Jack gets in a lot of trouble because of said flirting.
15) Presents are the best way of getting out of this trouble.
16) Decaff is great to use as a threat or punishment to the other members of the team
17) When this punishment is carried out you need to be careful of their caffeine withdrawal symptoms.
18) Tosh is a genius.
19) Owen can't see what is right in front of his eyes
20) Gwen should be kept away from alien artefacts. Especially if they have buttons.
21) Gun training is just another way for Jack to feel up the team.
22) Tosh does not react well to being felt up.
23) Tosh slaps hard. Ask Jack.
24) Tosh will not do a repeat of the slap not matter how much you beg her to.
25) Owen cannot seem to grasp the concept of 'secret organisation'.
26) Gwen will not let things go even if she should.
27) Gwen is also unable to follow orders.
28) The Cardiff police hate Torchwood
29) Bending over a desk anywhere near Jack is unadvisable. Especially if you don't want him to pinch your butt.
30) Owen finds this funny especially if you shriek like a girl.
31) Camping in the countryside is a bad idea.
32) Humans can also be monsters not just aliens.
33) Shooting Owen is fun.
34) Owen doesn't find it funny. But the rest of the team does.
35) Tosh is so twisted inside.
36) Torchwood is wrong about the Doctor.
37) Jack has psychotic exes.
38) Said ex can't seem to remember my name. It's Ianto not Eye candy.
39) He also likes to offer me orgy's
40) there really is a lot of things you can do with a stopwatch.
41) Jack should be kept away from my diary.
42) Going drinking with Owen is likely to end up with us getting arrested.
43) Being a part of Torchwood gets you out of so many situations with the law.
44) Owen is funny to film whilst drunk.
45) If he finds out you did this he would most likely try to kill you.
46) Not everyone can be fixed. No matter how hard you try.
47) Torchwood weddings never go well.
48) None of the team actually knows the alphabet.
49) If Jack was in charge of the filing everything would be under A for Alien, N for Non-alien or D for Doctor.
50) No matter how hard it this job gets it is worth it to help people.