WARNING: BoyxBoy. Okay. Warned you. :D

Case: I dunno how I came up with this. O.O;;

Disclaimer: I do not own this guy I am hots for and I do not own Naruto. Sigh. Life sucks when you are poor.

Title: Seduce me, idiot!

Rating: M? :D

"Seduce me, idiot!"

"I have decided upon something, Sasuke." Naruto declared, one summer day of his bright life.

The said boy, who was sitting silently at a random bench found in Konoha, looked at Naruto with a scowl in his face.

"It involves you, bastard." Naruto continued when he got only a scowl and nothing else.

Sasuke looked away from Naruto and continued his gazing-into-space moment which was what he was doing previously before the idiot of a blonde came in front of him to declare something that involves him.

"What the fuck." Sasuke does not ask, he states.

"I am going to make you mine."

"Okay."

"I am serious, Sasuke, you bastard."

"Nice."

"I am seriously going to seduuuce you." Now this was said tauntingly by Naruto.

"Hn."

"I think I will start now." Naruto snapped.

"..."

"Ugh! Bastard!" and he ran.

Day 1 with Sakura:

"Naruto, if you want him to be yours, you must be aggressive!"

Nod, nod.

"If you want to win in this raging war called love, you gotta do it the harsh way!"

Nod, nod, nod.

"If you want him to beg at your feet for your love, be very persistent!"

Nods vigorously.

"Follow him everywhere."

Nod, nod.

"Okay now, Naruto, you know what to do, right?"

Nod. With a determined face, Naruto stood up from where he and his friend, Sakura, were hunched up into their little pep talk and so-called seduction 101.

"Okay! He will be mine!"

Sakura gave a pat on the blonde's shoulder and grinned, "Good boy."

"Now to find that bastard Sasuke..." Naruto trailed as he saw who he was speaking of. The boy was strolling around the road with earphones stuck on his pearly ears.

Sakura whispered at Naruto's ears, "Go, baby!"

This, he perked up.

Naruto rushed to Sasuke who was oblivious of his presence. He walked with him. Sasuke turned left, he did, too. Right and he went right also. He followed.

Followed him just about everywhere.

"Sasuke."

"..."

"I think we should make out." Oh how aggressive that sounded!

"..."

"I said Sasuke."

"..."

"Sasukeee!"

"..."

"Sas-UKE!"

Oh.

Slowly, the said uke, errr, Sasuke stopped. Slowly took his headphones out of his ears and scowled, "What the fuck?"

"Yes, Sasuke, I am here to demand that we go make out, I mean, come on!" Naruto said with a tone that is so indicative that it tended to be annoying in the other's ears. Sasuke shoved his headphones back and kept on walking.

"SASUKEEE!" Why, of course, Naruto today was persistent!

The Uchiha prodigy who had a smexy brother named Itachi just ignored. He was a patient person. Very patient, in fact.

Irked, the blonde grabbed the other guy by the shoulders and he shook him, "Dammit, Sasuke, you must be mine!" and he made it to the point that their lips clashed in a supposed kiss. Holy crap, was that harsh! Naruto's eyes were squinted while Sasuke's eyes went bigger and bigger as he realized what was happening.

Sakura was actually eyeing what was happening and she was just proud of Naruto! Aha, he's following my rules, attaboy! He should get him any moment now...

Naruto tried his best to kiss properly and not just do some slish-slosh with his tongue but ah, how inexperienced was he but hey, he was getting the hang of it! It was actually fun and –

"OW!" Naruto cried, suddenly parting away from Sasuke.

Sasuke pushed Naruto away with all his might, "WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Did... did you just bit me, Sasuke?"

"What. The. Fuck." Sasuke demanded.

"Will you stop saying what the fuck? Just say that you want me to fuck you and-"

"What are you trying to do, idiot?" Sasuke coldly cut him off, wiping what remained of his lips, if ever.

"Seducing you?"

"Like a fan girl?" he snorted at that.

"Well..."

"I hate them."

"Me, too, me too!"

"Hate yourself, eh?"

"Now, Sasuke-"

"Epic fail, idiot."

Sigh. Day one sucked.

Day 2 with Ino:

"Yes, Naruto, do not forget to moan, okay?"

"Like this, Ino?" Naruto Uzumaki moaned.

"No! Moan like you are enjoying what you are moaning for, like... uhhhnnn..." And she did demonstrate what she was trying to teach.

Naruto followed suit.

"Better. Now do it with a little more spice. You should sound convincing yet not suspicious!"

"How the heck is that? I don't get it but..." he moaned like he was ordered to do so, anyway. "Was that fine?"

"Yep, it could do but of course, mine's always better." Ino said, swish swoosh of the hair.

"Yeah..." Naruto said, looking somewhat distant.

The two blonde and blue-eyed teens came to a conclusion, after some more of that moaning from Naruto, that it was time and the battle was ready for Naruto and his attacks.

"Okay, okay, just do it properly, proper timing, proper moan and proper... licking, got it?"

Naruto nodded in understandment. He did genuinely understand. Seriously.

"I will be waiting here, go for it!"

And so he went inside this ice cream parlour and saw Sasuke who was silently eating his chocolate parfait. He sat alone. Naruto grinned. Perfect!

He went and ordered this summer special deluxe ice cream which consists of a huge cone filled to the brim with ten flavoured ice cream. Yeah. That was epic, baby.

He got his huge tower of ice cream and went to where Sasuke was eating his ice cream alone.

"Sasuke!" He sat in the empty seat in front of the other boy. "Coincidence, eh?" Lie. He knew Sasuke was there to begin with.

"..."

"I did not know you like sweet stuff, Sasuke." Naruto began and he licked the top of his ice cream.

"..."

"Damn, Sasuke, this is good..." and Naruto said this in between his licks. He just could not help it, this felt fun. He licked at the tip of the ice cream and all the way down to the cone's rim and he'd sensuously lick his lips clean. Of course, there were these moans coming from him.

"Ahnnn, so good."

Lick, moan, lick, moan. You know, like what you do in some porno movies. You lick it while moaning.

Ino peeked from behind the counters where she could look at where the action is. She punched a fist in the air and said to herself, "Good, Naruto, good, and a little mooore..."

The counter personnel looked at her suspiciously.

Anyway, it was then Sasuke who stopped his peaceful eating to look at Naruto. His face was that of annoyance.

"Uhhhn, gosh, so big..." And honestly, Naruto was getting into it, with his eyes partly closed as he licked the huge stuff, his cheeks blushing in the process.

"What the fuck?"

"It's an ice... ohhh... cream, Sasuke bastard..." Moan.

"I know. What in hell's name are you doing?"

"Licking it..." More moaning.

"You are disgusting."

"I am trying to seduce you here, bastard." Moan.

"Fuck you."

"Success?" Moan.

"Go to hell." Sasuke stood up. He left Naruto.

Groan.

Day two, failed.

Day 3 with Ten Ten:

"That's it?" Naruto asked, bewildered.

"Yep!" The brown-haired girl said with a smile. "You just have to... ignore him."

"Wow, really?" Leaning forward, Naruto's eyes grew bigger at the new fact he acquired that day.

"Yep!" Ten Ten said again as she tried to stretch herself out in the bench she and Naruto were sitting out in the park.

"Surely?" Ah. The blonde was still persistent as was from before. Sigh.

"Naruto." Ten Ten said, "Sometimes, to get someone's heart, you just got to act like you do not care about him or such! I mean, no one likes to have a draggy girlfriend...errr, well, boyfriend along."

That made sense in Naruto's skirmish mind. He agreed.

"If you say so, Ten Ten..." He tried to work things out in his head.

Hmmm, yes, seemingly, Sasuke is the kind of guy who does not like clingy people. He does not like to be always declared upon (even if it was Naruto's undying love, yes.) and he certainly likes to be of peace at times... yes! It would help if Naruto acted uninterested!

He was decided. He'd ignore Sasuke for today.

Yes.

Ignore him.

Well, just for today, anyway.

"Thanks, Ten Ten!" He gave her thumbs up sign before he dashed off to look for Sasuke just because he planned to ignore the Uchiha today. Oh yes.

And he found him lurking the music store. As usual, headphones stuck into his ears and he was nodding his head ever so lightly with the beat of the tune he has in his iPod.

Perfect.

Naruto crept inside, dodged some customers who were going out and was supposed to bump him if he did not do the later.

He peeked at Sasuke's back to see what he got in his hands. He could not see. But dare he tap him on the shoulder (and fuck him right there as much as he wanted to.) and ask what's that CD's all about? No. Oh well, the plan will start...now.

"Ahem."

Sasuke looked at the noise maker who then appeared on his right side. He gave an icy look.

"What the fuck?"

"Today, I will ignore you, Sasuke bastard."

There was a pause for Sasuke to digest what insolent fool this guy was. He gave him an odd look.

"Hell, thanks for that." He murmured, quite contended it sounded.

"Why you-!" He clasped his mouth with his hands. He almost forgot. No talking with Sasuke.

A sneer came from Sasuke.

He likes it, dammit.

Clenching a fist, Naruto tried not to open his mouth and screech at Sasuke. The other boy does not seem to mind. Naruto was irked. He tried shuffling the CDs in front of him. Poked here and there and got one randomly out. Holy fuck, I Suck at Life by Rat Underneath? What the crap, what kind of album was that? Naruto shivered. He grabbed another one. Me against the World by Lonely and Deserted. Naruto looked at Sasuke, his faced was that of abashment. The guy he likes listens to these kinds of songs? Good heavens.

He continued to fish out some more CDs when he did not notice Sasuke leave his side.

And then he did, after some minutes.

He looked around and saw Sasuke just about going out of the music store and he ran after him, full speed.

"Yo, Sasuke!" Catching up, he snubbed Sasuke with an ahmphhh.

Sasuke looked at him deadpanned and continued to walk.

Naruto snapped out of his ignoring Sasuke act and ran again after him.

"Bastard! I was not done ignoring you!"

"Talk to the hand, idiot."

"Hell, I am seriously ignoring you! Will you let me do it properly so you can be mine?" And then he snubbed Sasuke again.

"What the fuck?"

"I am ignoring you Sasuke." Hmphhh.

"Why the fuck is that (but I will be pleased if you do.)?"

"Because it is a form of seduction." Another snub.

"...it is?"

The blonde nodded vigorously.

"Do it often. It works."

Naruto perked up as he looked at the handsome boy beside him, "Really? I just have to ignore you?"

"Ignore me."

"Really?" Naruto had sparkling eyes.

"Idiot."

"Hey! What do you mean?"

"Can you ignore me for the rest of your life, idiot?"

"Sasuke, you bastard-"

Then it was Sasuke who ignored Naruto the whole day.

Oh boy. Day three, no success.

Day 4 with Temari:

"Oh boy, Temari, I am glad you came over town!" Naruto said exasperatedly to the other blonde.

"Hah, I know, right?" The elder teen said at the grinning idiot in front of her who came to seek advice which she, applicable to all alder women, found to be touching. Ruffling his hair in the process, Temari gave a serious look and said, "I have three brothers, almost same ages like you and that Sasuke, right?"

Naruto gave a yes.

"Well, from what I've learned from them... Naruto, to seduce is to show some skin."

There was a rather long pause.

Naruto blinked. Temari blinked in response.

Naruo slowly opened his mouth to say something but stopped. He looked at his left arm, lifting it up. He looked from under his lashes to Temari, "You mean..."

"Ah-huh. You are 17, baby, you are old enough. Show skin!" Temari declared with confidence. Somehow, she had a point there... Seduction... skin... Yep.

"Wait, you mean my arms aren't enough skin?"

The girl almost fell off her chair. Scratching her head, she patted Naruto, "I meant some manly skin! Body skin, Naruto, you got to show him what you've got!"

"Like... what's underneath...?" He trailed as he looked at his own body.

Temari nodded, sipping into some juice for the hot weather was surely making her loose her cool today. Not to mention, her logical mind. But here she was, with her seduction advice. Heh.

"Oh my, are you sure about that?" Naruto pondered, really wondering how his arm skin has different effects on his underneath-the-clothes-skin.

"Positive, baby." Temari fanned herself, "You could also use this summer heat as an excuse, you know."

There was a glint in Naruto's eyes. "Got it, Temari! Some skin..."

And as the two were talking, Naruto's words suddenly got lost when the door of the resto they were in opened and came straddling in was Sasuke. Looking bored.

Naruto stiffened.

Temari grinned.

What a show this will be, she thought. I am glad I came to Konoha today.

"Shit, it's Sasuke..." Naruto muttered. He followed the other boy's every movement with his eyes.

Sasuke ordered a juice. Looked around to find a place to sit; couldn't find any, spotted the stool next to Temari and Naruto to be vacant. He strolled over and sat next to Naruto, not minding the blonde beside him, and settled into drinking what he bought. They were on the counter. Nice.

Temari glanced at Naruto.

"Ahem."

"Was that the cue?" the boy whispered.

"Duh!"

"Oh, sorry." And with that, Naruto came to converse with Sasuke.

He looked at the Uchiha and gave a sensuous smile, "Sure is hot today."

"Hn." Was the short reply.

"Hell, I just wanna take off my blouse..." and the tanned boy was truly born tanned for he did not have any strange tan lines in his solid body. This was made a fact when he slowly unbuttoned his faded orange blouse and took it literally off of him.

He lay there with his body almost naked, sweat gleaming.

Sasuke just gave him one look. Then returned to his juice.

"Aw, the weather's killing me." He craned his neck to one side and winked at Temari who did the same. Naruto, for the win, baby!

Sasuke looked at him again.

"I hope the weather would kill you, idiot."

"Aw, don't be so kill joy, bastard, and admit it, I got a nice body, eh?"

"What the fuck?"

"Got seduced?"

"Fucking pervert." And Sasuke did not even finish his juice. Walk out.

Day four, a quick fall. What else is new?

Day 5 with Hinata:

"N-Naruto... I think... I think..." The Hyuuga heir stuttered, trying her best to come up with the exact words she wanted to say to be of help to Naruto.

"Yes?" Puppy dog eyes always worked on Hinata.

"I think just honestly confessing will... uh... do the work, Naruto." She poked her fingers together and looked down, having a splash of pink covering her cheeks.

"What?"

"Y-Yes, Naruto..." Shyness crept over her. How could she just advice something like that wherein she herself couldn't do it, if ever?

"But... but..." Naruto gaped like a fish. After those days of hard work? He raised an eyebrow at Hinata, "You really think that will work?"

"W-well, it... it is the best way... if you really like h-him, Naruto, just admitting a... and, uh, telling him that you do... l-l-like him... I think that would... do just fine."

That was one hard piece of shit from Hinata.

Naruto heaved silence. Wow. That fucking simple?

And just coincidentally, the centre of Naruto's affection came passing by (he always does, at some point.) and Naruto called him.

"Yo, Sasuke, bastard!"

"Hn?" Sasuke looked at him icily.

"I fucking love you!" Naruto cried in a plain manner.

"..."

"..."

"Me, too."

Long pause.

"R-Really?" Naruto's eyes widened.

"Tsk, idiot."

"Sasuke, you just said you..."

"Why is it so hard for you to understand simple things?" Sasuke snapped.

"Sasuke!"

"..."

"I fucking love you. I want to hear your reply again!"

"..."

"Sasuke!"

"I love you, too."

"Make out with me?"

"Okay."

"S...seriously!""

"Augh!" And with that Sasuke hurriedly walked away from where Naruto could see him, clearly embarrassed.

"..." Naruto watched the disappearing Sasuke. Then he turned to look at Hinata. "Wow."

Hinata gave a genuine smile. She gave a deep breath and said shyly, "I told you so."

"Wow, I should have come for you sooner!" Naruto said, "He... he..."

"Go get him, then." Hinata encouraged with a petite force that was of her nature.

Naruto beamed.

"Thanks Hinata!" And off he went.

Who knew that just being honest will do you good and is the best form of seduction?

oENDEo

Case: Phew. :D I do not know if I did well with that or not but I was just bored. Couldn't sleep. OxO"