I hate this fic XD. It had potential to be something good, but I lack the capability and knowledge to do it justice.

On another note: RoChu contest on Deviantart extended to June 30th. For more info, please visit my profile page.

Also thank you L.Y. and Nana for the emails. It was a great gift to this RoChu deprived person

Zuki and Snow thanks for the song recommendations. They were great to listen to while I wrote this.

Suffocating. The room became hard to breathe. Harder and harder they gulped down air, the scent of their passion filling their senses- smelling it, tasting it on their tongue. Sounds of the creaking bed accompanied their heavy pants, groans and sighs. Sweat drenched bodies touched and pressed against one another- rising, pulling higher and higher. The string snapped. A roaring cry, a taut arched back…and it was all over.

Spent and tired, still trying to regain his breath, China felt a familiar weight settle on top of him. "Ivan, you're heavy," he said without much heat, his eyes already closing to sleep.

"Did it feel good?" Russia ignored him, taking the bruised lips into a soft, slow kiss.

Despite the exhaustion, China felt himself smile at the childish question. He had thought they were long past that stage. Still, since Russia asked, he'll simply play along. "I've had better."

"Hmm, did you now?" The Russian replied, not really listening. He moved from kissing the smaller nation beneath him to nibbling lazily on his neck. "I hope you're referring to the other times that we've slept together...not that we did much sleeping."

Russia had expected a scowl or perhaps a blush, but China surprised him by doing neither. He opened his golden eyes, a coy seductive expression entering his face. His arms wrapped around Russia's neck and shoulders as he turned his head to kiss him back. Usually after one bout of lovemaking, China refused to go for another round, but other times his male sexual urges won out, making it possible to last until dawn. Was today…?

Without warning, China flipped them over with him now lying on top. Smiling, he placed a hand on the space beside Russia's head as the other lovingly stroked the larger nation's cheek. "I'm more experienced in this manner than most of you considering my age. If you let me be inside you, maybe I can compare it to my other lovers." His thumb caressed Russia's bottom lip, his voice dropping down to a low, husky whisper, "They always said I was very gentle and tender…. Ivan, do you want to experiment?" He lowered his head, their lips almost touching. "Do you want to see if I'll be a gentle lover to you?"

"You know, Yao, I have always wondered when and who exactly you lost your virginity to. Was it with a woman or a man? Were you top or bottom?" Russia asked straight faced.

At the unexpected and unwelcomed question, China's 'friend' turned into a limp strand of noodle. He groaned in frustration, flopping down in defeat on top of Russia with his face buried into the pillow.

"What was that?!" The Chinese muffled voice sounded out through the pillow, "Why do you even want to know? You completely ruined the mood, idiot. And I thought America was bad at reading the atmosphere."

"Eh? But I want to know since you seem so 'experienced', Yao," Russia chuckled, kissing the reddening ear, "Who was it that introduced you to the pleasures of the flesh, hm? A pretty lady from the court?"

Without even bothering to look, China grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at the Russian's laughing face. "Shut it, Ivan. This is not the right time to talk about it. Goodnight."

"Why not? I think this is the perfect opportunity to bring it up." Russia loosely placed his hands on China's lower back, massaging what must be a sore spot come tomorrow. "We just had sex and you're naked lying on top of me. I don't think I'll be feeling any bouts of jealousy for your past lovers if you tell me now." A finger trailed down lower to draw lazy circles on China's taut cheeks. "Or is it that you already forgot, given your advanced age?" he teased, blowing light air into the other's ear.

"It's not like you remember every one of your sexual exploits," China said firmly as he removed the playful hand on his bum.

"True," Russia laughed, conceding to the point. He took hold of the smaller nation's hand in his, enjoying the feel of their connected hands. "Then what about first love? No matter how much time passes, no one can forget their first love."

China rose on his elbows, peering down at the Russian with curiosity, "Why are you so persistent? Is it that important for you to know who I loved in the past? You're the one I with now. That should be enough."

"I'm a greedy person you know. I want your everything: your present, future and even your past, but that's not the reason why I'm asking." He brought China's hand to his lips, kissing each fingertip tenderly. "I just want to know something of you that the others don't. I want it so that even if you want to sever our ties, the bonds can never be broken…."

"You're a fool," China laid his forehead on the larger nation, tightening his hold on Russia's hand. "But my fool."

"So will you tell me?" Russia asked, an angelic smile gracing his face.

But China wouldn't be deceived. He's fallen for that trap too many times before he learned his lesson. "I'll tell you…only if you tell me yours first."

"Eh?! But that wasn't part of the deal. Come on, Yao, don't be so stingy."

China flicked him on the nose. "Don't think I don't know you're tricks. Once I tell you mine, you're just going to weasel your way out from telling yours. With all your talks about ties and bonds, you've piqued my interest. Who was your first love? Tell me."

"You wouldn't know who she was even if I did."

"Oh, so it was a girl," China said with interest. He folded his hands on Russia's chest, resting his chin on top as he gazed up at the other man's face. The blanket covering their naked bodies slipped down to their waist.

"Do you really want to know?"

At China's nod, Russia sighed in exasperation, "Alright…but you better tell me yours afterwards."

China smiled slyly- a look that was both untrustworthy and honest at the same time. "Don't worry. I always keep my promises."

"I'll punish you later if you don't." Russia ground their hips together to make sure there was no mistake in what kind of punishment he had in mind.

"Just begin," China said coolly, waving away in unconcern the prospect of being sodomized; his demeanor showed none of the pleasurable sensation running through his every nerve at the sudden friction of their bodies.

From where he laid, China could feel Russia take deep, calming breaths with every rise of his chest. He'd usually fuss and scorn his northern neighbor for tugging on his hair, but this time he didn't mind. He allowed him to absentmindedly twirl the strands by his face without a word. He knew. He knew how nerve wrecking it could be to dig up the long ago past. For immortals such as themselves, it was never a pleasant thing. So he waited patiently in silence, listening quietly to the steady beating of Russia's heart.

"I was out in the market with my sisters when I met her," Russia finally began- his physical body still in the room, but his mind was lost somewhere far, far away.

"It was full of people that day- all of them yelling and bustling about. Ukraine led Belarus and me to an empty spot on the road and told us to stay there while she bartered for some fish. I was standing there, holding tightly onto Natalia's hand when someone tapped me on the shoulder."

"I turned around and found a pretty lady with deep blue eyes looking at me curiously. I barely even reached her waist. She had to bend down to be eye level with me. She asked me, 'Why are two children standing here by themselves? Aren't you cold?' I told her no and thanks for the concern but we're fine by ourselves. She didn't leave like I expected. Instead, she reached into her basket." Russia glanced down at China, his lavender eyes filled with warmth and fondness at the memory.

"'No need to be so defensive,' she said, giving me a warm loaf of bread, 'My name is Dasha. What is yours?' I was about to ignore her and leave, but then she reached out a hand to pat my head, smiling at me. That smile was all it took for my heart to skip a beat."

Smiling himself, China planted a kiss in the middle of Russia's chest. "Who knew the big, bad Russia was such an adorable child?"

"You have to understand, I barely had any contact with younger women other than my sisters. I had no interest at them at that age," Russia said somewhat defensively, "But yes, that smile was all it took for me to start following her like a baby duckling. Everyday after I finished my chores, I would find a way to visit her at the edge of town."

The rumble of Russia's laugh vibrated against China's skin. "I hid in the tree next to her window to watch her weave. I thought I was so clever, but the whole entire time she knew I was spying on her. I only found out when it was raining one day and our eyes met. I was so sure she couldn't see me, but she called out saying I should stop trying to be a stray cat and just come in before I catch a cold. I ran away, burning with embarrassment. When I saw her the next day, I couldn't meet her eyes. I was about to dash home, when she nonchalantly commented that since her husband died, it's been lonely eating dinner by herself. It would be nice to have company sometimes, she said….So I did."

"She was a weaver, you know?" Russia whispered contemplatively, stroking China's back out of habit, "As a widow, that was the only revenue left for her to support herself. But she was the best and was able to scrape by without having to remarry. She thought I clung to her because I was interested in being her apprentice. Why would a man want to weave? It was a woman's profession. Nonetheless, I didn't correct her. It gave me an excuse to see her everyday. Dasha was kind and patient, teaching me the intricate process in making an elaborate cloth fit for a king. After the sun would set, we would have dinner right by the fireplace. No matter how I protested though, I was never allowed to spend the night. I only left quietly after she gave me a kiss on the forehead for a safe journey home."

"Hmm, I see that part of you hasn't changed much," China commented.

"Oh, I ask and give more than just kisses now, Yao," Russia gave him a pointed look, "I am nothing if not generous."

The smaller nation smiled wryly, "I know and perhaps a little too generous."

"Should we see and find out?"

China pinched the Russian's cheek. "No. I rather hear more about you and this wonderful Dasha of yours."

"Jealous?" Russia questioned.

"Should I be?" The other countered.

Russia elegantly inclined his head. "I would be utmost happy if you were."

"Then I am, if only just a little," China stated politely as if he simply told Russia the weather was nice, instead of the envy he felt for Dasha earning the affections of little Ivan. When China and Russia finally met for the first time, Russia was well into his teens. It would be useless and utterly stupid of him to be jealous of a woman who saw a part of Russia he could never see. "Are you going to finish your story now?"

"There isn't much more to tell," Russia said with a wink, "I guess the only thing I can say is that I proposed to her out of the blue one day. Dasha was helping me undo the knot I made in the cloth when I asked if I could take her as my bride when I grew up. She was stunned for a moment before bursting out in laughter. She was still laughing even as she said she was honored by my request. I knew she wasn't taking me seriously, but I was still happy. All I had to do was grow a little taller, prove my worth…but…."

Russia suddenly stopped, unable to go on. A deep bone tiredness entered his face as he swallowed the old bitterness and guilt. Wordlessly, China cupped the larger nation's face with his small hands.

Pain. It was etched in every line of Russia's features. He kissed each arch of the amethyst eyes for every tear the larger man couldn't shed. His lips brushed the corner of the other's mouth, hoping to ease the clenching jaw.

Gradually, the stabbing ache in his chest was soothed by the raining of slow purposeful kisses. Russia took hold of the delicate hand on his face and smiled sadly, appreciating the gesture.

"If you don't want to say it, you don't have to," China said, his unfathomable eyes gazing down at his companion.

Russia shook his head. "No, it's alright. Whether I tell you or not, it won't change the past." Closing his eyes once again to relive the memories of that day, he sighed in exhaustion, "There was an invasion. The town was ransacked, houses burned, and people died. Sometimes if I try hard enough, I could still hear the tormented cries of the people around me. Dasha lived at the edge of town, the part where the invaders first entered…." He sucked in a breath, the smell of burnt flesh haunting him. "She never had a chance."

The back of Russia's hand lightly grazed against China's soft cheek. "She was just nineteen, Yao. She had so much ahead of her."

China said nothing because nothing could be said; words were of no use and held no real meaning. All he could do to comfort the once very small, vulnerable nation was be silent.

They laid there without a word, without a sound, each lost in their own thoughts. Night had fallen, the sun long since gone. Flying freely in the sky without cages, birds returned to their nests to await another day in the vast blue plain. Out in the distance, a lonely howl wailed out to the crescent moon. As if in answer, the room suddenly plunged into darkness as the moon hid behind the nightly clouds, shying away from the desperate cry.

"What about you, Yao?" Russia's voice embraced him from the shadows, "Who was it that first touched your icy heart?"

China laughed mirthlessly, "That's funny coming from you. You, who have places where winter never ends, where snow never melts," He tucked his head between the crux of Russia's shoulder and neck, his hand directly above the other's heart, "and places I'll never reach."

Russia kissed the top of China's head. "You're being overly dramatic with your lyrical prose."

Light flitted back into the room, basking the two nations with pale rays from the moon. No longer blinded by the darkness, Russia titled China's chin up. Violet eyes danced in amusement as he gave the older nation a peck on the lips. "And don't think you avoided the question, Comrade*."

China glared at him through the bright moonlight. It was spoken in Russian, but Russia was no longer a Communist country; the term no longer held the same meaning from when they both saluted under the same red flag. From the mischievous grin Russia was giving him, it was hard to miss the innuendo.

"You think I prefer males do you? A Tongzhi*?" China asked, giving the young cub a sharp bite on the lip for his insolence.

"But you're so beautiful," Russia laughed, "I can't imagine a woman on Earth more enchanting than you. She would pale in comparison and wilt from embarrassment. Only a mighty warrior should be worthy of you. Perhaps a general on his proud steed that gallantly saved you from a rebel group? Oh I know, a brilliant tactician that saved a whole village using his cunningness. Your people do value brains over brawns correct? Was it Zhuge Liang? Did I guess right?"

The pillow China chucked at Russia earlier, he now used to smother the living daylights out of the light-haired man. "I'm going to kill you now, Ivan, and you better like it."

Laughter muffled by the down-filled pillow, Russia squeezed the firm ass on top of him in a teasing response. China growled disgustedly before rolling off Russia and away from the perverted hands.

The gentle weight of China gone, Russia peeked out from under the pillow with a grin; China was lying on his side, his back facing the Russian in his attempt to ignore the larger nation. Russia flung the pillow across the room with a flick of his hand as he leaned up on his elbow to admire China's mesmerizing form. He reached out to touch a silken shoulder and his mouth soon followed, unable to resist the simple taste of the flawless skin. "You still haven't told me who you loved," Russia stated between kisses, "or would you rather we go straight towards the punishment?"

China gave him a sidelong glance, ignoring the growing hardness jabbing into his back. He looked away, his voice completely void of emotion as he told Russia who first stole his heart. "My wife."

This was suppose to be a oneshot where I post everything up when I'm done...but I've been writing it for a week and I'm just sick of it. I have half of the second part done. I don't know why this took so long, but Yao and Ivan wouldn't stop flirting. Anyway....hopefully I can be done tomorrow?

Before someone says, "I can't picture Yao with a girl because he's so girly" just allow me to say that during the Song (or was it the Tang?) effeminate males were the epitome of male beauty and masculinity. They had wives, they had concubines despite their girly looks. So yea, Yao looks like a girl, but it doesn't mean I have to turn him into one and have him only interest in other males. Though even as I say this, the time period I had in mind is way before the Song or Tang. It's up to you to decide which Dynasty though.

On another note, I see nations' first love and experience to be with one of their own people rather than some far off distance nation with a different language, culture, and lifestyle.

*Comrade/Tongzhi: Literally meaning "comrade" and was used among the Communist party members to refer to each other in the People's Republic of China, but in modern times is a slang word for the LGBT meaning homosexual and other sexual minorities. I found the use of this term when I was doing research for my Chinese history class and I thought, "How appropriate for a BL Russia x China fic." So I couldn't resist not throwing it in here. You can read more about it if you wiki "tongzhi". Again, please don't take offense at my slaughtering of languages. It was not done with malicious intent but in good humor and as a way to enhance the story with cultural references.

Alright, done rambling. You can stab me for writing this fic now.