Ok, peeps this is yet another brand new fic that I started writing and although it may have many little links that connect it to both P.o.P and H.o.T.T it is not directly linked to the stories, it is just something I wrote for fun so please review and let me know what you think… for a change this fic will be more about Jafar than Hades so please enjoy…

As usual I don't own any characters created by Disney I'm just borrowing them but I do own Persephone so if you wish to use her in your own fics please let me know first 'kay…

…Love Ditzy…. XXx

Jafar's Disastrous Dates

Chapter Ten:It's a Nice Day for a Dark Wedding…

It had only been a few hours since an irritated Jafar returned to the Underworld from his date with Cruella declaring he'd rather be alone than face another psychotic-shotgun-wielding villainess, before he then decided that women were definitely not worth bothering about. He'd then vanished off home in a haughty puff of red smoke before Hades or Persephone could stop him. The Goddess of Life, who felt bad about the whole affair, had instantly shut herself up in Hades' study upset by Jafar's announcement. After giving his wife a little space to come to terms with it the fiery god then went after her to try a cheer her up… after all, Persephone had really wanted the vizier to find someone..

Hades lent on the doorway of his study and watched his wife pace relentlessly back and forth. He hated it when she was upset, it was the worst kind of torment for him.

'Sephy it's over..' He sighed heavily. 'We failed to find Jaffy a woman, why do ya insist on obsessing over it?' Persephone then stopped pacing and swivelled to him causing the fiery god to step towards her and rub her shoulders gently.

'There's got to be something we're missing..' Persephone sounded determinedly folding her arms, she didn't like the way this 'Jafar business' was turning out..

'Babe don't torture yourself like this..' Hades crooned softly wrapping his arms around her, pulling her to him and stroking her long blonde hair soothingly. Persephone lent her head on his shoulder. '-we did the best we could but maybe Jaffy is just meant to be alone..'

These words made Persephone blink, then raised her head to look at her husband in disbelief.

'I don't believe that and neither do you..' She sounded, surprised by her husband's sudden defeated attitude.

'No..' Hades agreed. '-but there's nothing we can do now..' Persephone sighed frustrated. She needed to find out why Jafar was so willing to give up… but the grim vizier wouldn't share anything with them so how was she going to get the information she needed?

'If only we knew why he and Maleficent broke up..' She mused aloud causing Hades to snigger amused.

'Hah, fat chance babe… what ya gonna do? Phone Maleficent and ask her?' He smirked widely at thee very thought but Persephone merely blinked before beaming at her husband.

'Oh Hades you're a genius..' She squealed excitedly causing Hades to blink stunned as she squeezed him tight and dashed over to the rolodex on the table, hurriedly flipping through the contacts.

'Err… Seph that was a joke..' Hades sounded as Persephone pulled Maleficent's card out of the rolodex and grabbed the phone. As soon as she had dialled the number Hades leapt into action, diving across the desk and hanging up the phone.

'Seph are you insane?' He hissed. 'Ya can't ask Mal, she'll curse ya for even daring to bring it up..' Persephone scoffed at her husband's words and rolled her eyes.

'Maybe she'll curse you sweetie because your so tactless but-'

'Ex-cuse me!' Hades cut her off, flames bristling orange with insult. 'Moi, tactless?' Persephone merely giggled at his offended expression.

'Oh sweetie, it's nothing personal but you do lack the certain..' She circled her wrist vaguely rolling her eyes upwards while searching for the right word. '-subtleties when dealing with delicate topics..' Hades blinked then glared at his wife.

'I do not!' He sounded crossly causing his whole face to flash an angry orange colour.

'Oh really?' Persephone placed her hands on her hips and raising her brows with disbelief. 'How about when Maleficent and Jafar first broke up and you said-' Persephone pulled her best Hades voice, which was surprisingly accurate.. '-'What's with you schlubs? I haven't seen this much gloom ina room since Pandora opened that box..'.'

'Oh well.. soh-rree for tryin' to lighten the atmosphere!' Hades huffed petulantly turning away from his wife and folding his arms tightly across his chest. Persephone blinked at her pouting husband before sliding a hand over his shoulder.

'Hades..' She smiled kindly to her husband and addressing him in a soothing motherly tone. '-all I'm saying is we might still be able to find Jafar a date if we can find out what went wrong with him and Maleficent, and we might get a better response if I talk to her..'

Hades rolled his golden orbs irritably and sighed huffily. He wasn't about to forget her insult in a hurry. Persephone merely continued to smile gently in response to her husband's sulking, he could be like a massive kid sometimes..

'Y'know..' She suddenly purred in a seductive voice. '-I'll need a smooth-talking god with a lot of fire-power to persuade Jafar to come back to the Underworld, do you know where I could find one of those?' Her eyes narrowed playfully as Hades turned back around with a slight smirk.

'I might, if ya apologize..' Hades sounded in a husky drawl as his smirk widened into a leer. In response to his words Persephone grabbed him by the front of his chiton and kissed him passionately. After a few moments of sensuous making out the two deities broke apart.

'Am I forgiven yet?' Persephone sounded breathlessly stroking his angular jaw with her fingers.

'Hmmm.. I'll think about it-' Persephone rolled her eyes, her husband always did drive a hard bargain. '-but in the meantime..' The fiery god sighed dramatically before continuing, '-I better go grab Jaffy..' He then vanished in a swirl of black smoke to go and talk the grim vizier into coming back down to the Underworld.

Persephone sighed heavily before picking up the phone once more and dialling the number on the card from the rolodex. She perched herself on the edge of the table trying to think of the best way to approach the subject of Jafar with Maleficent.

'Who is it?' Came the cool response from the other end of the receiver and the young Queen of the Underworld rolled her eyes, Maleficent never said hello..

'Maleficent? It's Persephone..' The goddess sounded brightly and their was a sigh from the other end.

'I wondered when I would be hearing from you..' The witch sounded in the same cool and derisive tone, Persephone would have been offended if Maleficent didn't address everybody with it.. '-I don't know why you would ring me Persephone, I have absolutely no desire to go on another date with that insufferable fool..' Maleficent's voice added firmly, suggesting she wasn't quite ready to see him again.

'Ah, no..' Persephone sounded flushing slightly at the witch's words. '-but uh… now that you mention Jafar Maleficent, I was wondering if you could-'

'Absolutely not!' Maleficent sounded sharply from the other end, second guessing what was about to be asked. 'You are not dragging me into his sordid little love-game..'

'I know this is a sensitive subject for you Maleficent but it would really help me understand him a bit better if you told me how you guys broke up..' Persephone sounded gently.

There was a brief pause at the other end of the line before Maleficent spoke again, this time a little confused.

'You mean Jafar hasn't told you why?'

'Err… no.. he just says something about a difference of opinion and then changes the subject.'

'He said what!' Persephone pulled the phone away as Maleficent shrieked the last word her anger practically burning down the phone.

'So.. uh… what did happen to you guys then?' Persephone sounded gently and there was a calming sigh from the other end of the phone.

'Why exactly am I back down here Hades?' Jafar sounded in a grim tone looking around the throne room with disgust. 'I told you already, I am not going on another date..'

'Jaffy re-lax..' Hades smirked widely at his best friend. '-your reading' way too much into this..' The grim vizier merely raised his brows at the fiery god…

'Oh I sincerely doubt that..' He drawled clutching his snake-staff more securely.

'He called you a what?' Persephone blinked in confusion at Maleficent's words nearly dropping the phone.

'Oh yes, yes… I see that..' The young goddess added as the witch screeching in irritation. '-but did you really have to dump him just for calling you that?' The young Queen of the Underworld pulled the phone away as words like, 'That intolerable fool..' and '-he dared to call me such a foul and disgustingly nice thing..' and '-never have I endured such humiliation..'

'Yes well, men aren't exactly the sharpest tool in the Torture Kit..' The young goddess sighed shaking her head ruefully. Maleficent made an agreeable sound on the other end of the phone.

'Heh, yeh I know.. My husband has done a lot of stupid things too..' Persephone's eyes widened at Maleficent's next words.

'Why no..' Her green eyes narrowed with the anticipation of some dirt on her husband. '-Hades never told me about your date..' There was a brief pause as Maleficent described the events in the House of Mouse that night.

'Oh he didn't!' Persephone squealed, shuddering at the thought of Hades in Mickey Mouse's shorts and pulling a nice act. There was a pause as Maleficent made a comment then laughed. 'Oh my days I know..' The young goddess gushed. '-I would be mortified too but..' She sighed with relief. '-thankfully he's not done anything like that to me yet..' There was a brief pause in conversation before Persephone spoke, sounding as though reminded of something..

'Oh, do you want me to pass anything on to Jafar?' She sounded sweetly with a hint of mischievousness about her… Oh she did love stirring up trouble sometimes..

'Alright then… I'll be sure he get's that Maleficent, you take care now..' She then said her goodbye and hung up the phone before heading to the throne room.

'Sephy..' Hades drawled bouncing off his throne and sweeping forward to his wife. '-my sweet adorable little siren, did you find out what you needed to know?'

'Oh yes… plus a lot more..' She smirked at her husband before turning and heading over to Jafar. When she drew level with the vizier she paused before delivering her message..

Smack..

The hard slap echoed around the throne room and Jafar held his jaw as Hades dropped his in amazement.

'That's from Maleficent for lying about how you two broke up..' Persephone sounded before..

Smack..

She hit him again on the other side of the face..

'-and that's for calling her a 'diamond in the rough..' you know better than to call her names like that..' Persephone glared at the grim vizier.

'What?' Hades sounded in disbelief at these words…

'Let me guess..' Jafar sounded rubbing the other cheek. '-that was from her too.'

'No..' Persephone scowled. '-that one was from me..' She folded her arms stubbornly.

'Whoa, whoa, whoa..' Hades sounded raising his hands. '-time out people.. did I just hear this correctly?' Hades turned to Jafar. 'Maleficent dumped you because you called her a 'diamond in the rough..'?'

'Yes! Why don't you laugh it up you flaming jack-in-the-box!' The grim vizier sounded but Hades didn't, instead he whistled impressed.

'I gotta hand it to ya…' The fiery god sounded amused. '-ya got more guts than me I would never-' Hades broke off as a new figure appeared in the throne room.

'Oh..' The female sounded apologetically' '-I didn't realise you were busy, I'll just come back later..' Hades' eyes rolled with annoyance at the newcomer, trust that miserable witch to start shoving her oar into where it don't belong..

Both Persephone and Jafar had also looked around at the smooth female voice… Persephone, like Hades narrowed her eyes at the witch's presence but Jafar gawped at her in surprise. She was tall and slender, wearing a long navy chiton and her dark blue hair which was capped with a sleek silver horned headdress. In her hand was a staff with blue fire on the end of it. Her skin was a very pale lilac colour and her eyes were silvery like the moon… she was beautiful, in a sinister sort of way..

Persephone's green eyes chanced a glance at Jafar and recognised the look in his eyes immediately, how could she not? It was the same look her husband had been giving her for the entire time they had been together… and it gave the goddess an idea..

'No Hecate, it's ok..' Persephone sounded ignoring the noise of annoyance that Hades gave to her words. '-c'min a sec, there's someone I'd like to introduce you to..'

Hecate's thin violet lips twisted into a smile at the look on Hades' incredulous face as she stepped over to Persephone who was standing beside a rather interesting looking fellow…

'Jafar, this is Hecate, Queen of the Night..' Persephone turned to the witch. '-Hecate, this is Jafar, the Scourge of Agrabah..' The white-skinned goddess stepped back and smirked at the two of them… duh, it was so freaking obvious, why didn't she think of this before..

'The Scourge of Agrabah, hmm..' Hecate sounded musingly as she studied Jafar's image… he was definitely her type. Tall, dark and deadly… '-so… what is that you do?'

'Oh you know..' Jafar drawled shrugging airily. '-plot evilly on how your going to take over someone else's kingdom..' Hecate's smile widened at these words.

'Well, I do like a man with ambition..' She purred. '-would you like to continue this conversation in less gloomy surroundings?' The witch added causing Hades to flare irritably.

'I would be delighted..' Jafar sounded and Hecate linked arms with him and the vizier pulled a small vial out of his pocket. Hecate smiled widely at it.

'Ahh, a man who knows his potions… I can see you and I are going to get along just fine..' she sounded before they both vanished in a puff of smoke.

Hades fumed before rounding on his wife.

'What the hell did you do that for?' He snarled irritably.

'Now Hades, there's no need for the dramatics..' Persephone responded smirking at him.

'Err, hello… Seph, you just set Jafar up with my closest enemy!'

'Sweetie, they liked each other and besides…' The young goddess wrapped her arms around his waist. '-with Jafar distracting her, she'll be out of our hair for a while, isn't that a good thing?' Hades groaned inwardly.

'Alright, fine… but I'm gonna be keeping a close eye on them..' He sounded before his features softened as he looked into his wife's eyes. '-your just lucky you're my wife if ya were anybody else-'

'Yeh, yeh… you'd flame me, I know.' She sounded softly before pulling him into a luscious kiss.

Six months later…

The wedding day was perfect, or at least as perfect as a wedding in the Underworld could be. They were surrounded by friends and a few family too. Claude Frollo was the minister of this dark union. As he read out the vows the bride turned to her groom and smiled at him… it was hard to believe that she was finally getting her dream wedding after everything that had happened between them..

The groom smiled back at his bride… after everything that had transpired between them during that run of bad dates this was just the kind of thing they needed to prove that love can surpass all obstacles..

Claude Frollo's voice suddenly broke through the groom's thoughts.

'Do you Hades, take Persephone to be your lawfully wedded wife for as long as you both exist?' The fiery god smirked wolfishly at the judge and fellow villain.

'I do..' He sounded smiling at his bride next to him, renewing their vows had been entirely his idea… he hadn't been happy that they had to rush their first wedding and at least this time Demeter was present, even if his mother-in-law didn't look impressed with the company her daughter kept.

'And do you Persephone..' Claude Frollo sounded turning to the bride who beamed girlishly turning to her groom. '-take Hades to be your lawfully wedded husband for as long as you both exist?'

'I do..' She sounded gazing solemnly into Hades' golden eyes.

'By the power vested in me I give you the Lord and Lady of the Underworld..' Frollo then turned to Hades. '-you may now kiss the bride..'

'Ooh..' Hades leered at Persephone. '-don't mind if I do..' He then grabbed his bride by the waist, lent her back and kissed her passionately. After a long moment he pulled away smirking at Persephone's slightly surprised look.

'Wow..' She uttered as a smoke ring issued from her lips. There was clapping and cheering from the crowd. Most of the crowd was the villainous cronies of Hades. Such as, Madame Mim, who had a tight grip on an unnerved Captain Hook's arm, Cruella DeVil, Ursula, who seemed to be putting her moved on a rather uncomfortable looking Gaston, Maleficent who was sat with a serene smile and Jafar who was sat with Hecate.. A few gods were present besides Demeter, Persephone's favourite aunt Hestia, who had baked the wedding cake, Hermes, who wouldn't have missed this for the world, Persephone's brother Bacchus, who just like an excuse for a party and Hades' adoptive parents Nyx and Erebus..

As Hades pulled Persephone back to her feet she beamed at him.

'There's just one last thing to do..' She said softly.

'Uh, what's that?' Hades sounded confused.

'Duh.. Throw the bouquet..' She rolled her eyes at her silly husband before turning her back on the crowd… there was a flurry of excitement from both Mim and Ursula while Maleficent edged further out of the way of the bouquet.

Persephone closed her eyes and threw it, swivelling around quickly to see who would get the flowers. Ursula and Mim were trying to shove each other out of the way both wishing to grab the bouquet. But the flowers bounced neatly over their fingers towards the couple sat behind them…

…then landed into the lap of a very surprised Hecate who merely stared dumbfounded by them. Jafar too was staring shocked by them. Hecate recovered first then remembering the symbolism behind the one who catches the brides bouquet she turned a death-glare at Jafar..

'Don't you even think about it..' She hissed threateningly towards him before stalking off.

The grim vizier merely looked after her bemused… clearly he didn't get the sign…

Later, once all the guests had gone home, Zeus appeared in the Underworld causing Hades to frowned at his older brother.

'Well, well… look who decided to show up.. late..' He sneered causing Zeus to blink.

'I'm not here for your wedding party Hades..' The Lord of Olympus sounded before adding. '-I've come for my..' He paused as Persephone appeared beside her husband before adding in a hinted tone to Hades. '-y'know..'

'Oh..' The fiery god sounded understanding instantly as Persephone blinked confused. '-has Hera finished her cleaning I take it..'

'Uh, yehh… so can I have them back now..' Zeus added nervously and Hades smirked, snapping his fingers causing a box of scrolls to appear in the tanned god's arms.

'Thanks for holding onto them for me Hades..' Zeus sounded cheerfully before vanishing.

It then clicked with Persephone what had been in the box..

'Wait, you were telling the truth..' She blinked. '-it really was Zeus' porn stash?' Persephone asked confused.

'Y'know..' Hades rolled his eyes. '-I do that a lot, yet people are always surprised..'

'So uh..' Persephone slid up to her husband playing with his chiton.. '-when do I get a peek at your stash?'

Hades blinked surprised before adding with a smirk.

'Why? Ya think you can handle it?' Persephone smirked back amused.

'I can handle anything you dish out... bub..'

A few minutes later…

Persephone tilted her head sideways looking bemused at the scroll in front of her while Hades smirked amused at her from the bed.

'Wow…' She sounded trying to take in what she was seeing. '-is that even legal?'

Little Notes:

Hey Everybody, and so ends yet another fic… hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I liked writing it! Sept the 19th marks my first anniversary on this site and I'm very impressed with my progress, three complete stories is quite an achievement I feel.. I hope all the Mal/Jaffy fans weren't too disappointed by thee end of this fic, I never intended to make it one of those… that's why reading you little argument on my review page was so entertaining to me.

Hey, whadda ya know… it wasn't Hades' porn after all (I just thought it was a great way to end the story) I love Seph's last line… I'll let you imagine what it is she's looking at XD

Take Care…

Love… Ditzy x x