Emmett Point Of View

I was in the bathroom at Forks High School when I saw a piece of paper. It was folded in half, but I was able to read on the side where it saw "THINGS NOT TO DO IN WAL MART!"

YEAH! I love WalMart!

I'll have to read this later. I picked it up and put it in my pocket.

Once I got home, I opened it. I read everything on it, and since they all sounded like fun, I decided to do it!

I figured if I could talk Alice and Bella into it first then everyone else would come along. I couldn't have all this fun for myself! That would be selfish of me!

Edward was taking Bella home from school, and I needed her, so I got in my jeep and started off to Bella's house. As I was halfway down the drive I heard "EMMETT!! WAIT FOR ME!"

Oh...I almost forgot the little future telling pixie.

Alice opened the door and got in and we were off...again.

"Emmett, just so you know, the only reason I am doing this is to destroy walmart. I can't stand their stuff! It's so cheap! And not made good at all.." Alice kept ranting about her hatred of walmart until we got to Bella's house.

"I'll go get her. I'm better at blocking my thoughts than you," she said

"Fine. Hurry, pixie!"

Alice darted in the house. I heard some yelling but soon Alice came running out with Bella in her arms. Edward kept out behind her. So thats where the yelling was coming from.. but Alice told him to shut the hell up or she would bite Bella right then and there and Edward quickly shut up. Alice put Bella in the backseat and buckled her in and got in her car and I pulled out so quickly Bella yelled "Whiplash!"

Once we were safely out of hearing distance, Alice explained to Bella, "Ok, so Emmett found this list of things not to do in walmart and so we're gonna go do them."

Bella raised her hand.

"Yes, Bella, you may speak," Alice said

"I don't get it. If it's things not to do, why are we going to do them?"

"Silly, Bella, because it'll be fun!"

"Fine, but I don't wanna get arrested by my dad.. You're taking the blame for any tragedies."

"Sure thing, Bella!" I yelled

"So..can I see this list please?" she asked and I handed it to her.

"Holy crap there's 335 things on this list!!" she shrieked.

"Your point is....?" I asked

"We can't do all these things!"

"Well, maybe not today.. but we will eventually!!"

--------later at wal mart--------

"Ok! Number 1!!" I shouted, scaring some old lady and making her drop the package of old people diapers.

"Go up to a male employee while squeezing your legs together and scream "I NEED SOME TAMPONS!!" Alice read to us

"There's no way I'm doing that," Bella said

"Oh come on Bella your the only one who actually needs to use them!" Alice said

"Still. I'm not doing it. No way." she said

"I'll do it!" I yelled

"Emmett..you wouldn't use tampons even if you weren't a vampire," Alice said

"So..neither of you want to do it, so I'll do it! Pleaseee it'll be fun!"

"Fine, Em, go right ahead" she said

So I walked up to the first male employee I saw, who was a guy who had a name tag on that said 'Chad'. He looked about 21 and kind of scared. Perfect!

When I got near him I started squeezing my legs together and saying "help! help!"

"What do you need?" he said

"TAMPONS!" I yelled

"Tampons? Um, for your girlfriend or something?" he asked

"NO! FOR ME YOU IDIOT CAN'T YOU SEE I NEED THEM!" I screamed pointing at my legs that were wrapped around each other.

"Dude, your a dude," he said

"JUST GET ME THE DAMN TAMPONS!"

"Ok, ok. Follow me."

He started walking toward what I guessed was the tampon area. I hopped behind him keeping my legs tangled.

Once we got there he handed me the first things he saw.

"Here's your tampons," he said.

"OMG! These are Playtex! I only use Kotex! Get this abomination away from me!" I yelled throwing the Playtex at him

"Fine! I didn't know! Here. Here's Kotex. Are you happy now?" he said

"Yes, I am. Thank you very much Chad. You were so helpful, I think I'll write the manager a letter telling him what a good employee you are. Ok bye!" I said skipping away

Once I got back to Bella and Alice they were laughing hysterically.

"Wow, Emmett. That was hilarious," Bella said

"Nothing to it," I said "but now! it's your turn! mwahahahah!" I kept my evil laugh going until Alice said "Ok Emmett, shut up now."

"OK! Number 2!" I yelled this time making the guy who was mopping the floor spill the bucket of water. He looked up and glared at me. I smiled sweetly.

"Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them." Alice read

"Ok, Bella, your turn," I said

"What? No!" she started to say

"No excuses this time, Bella. You have to do it," Alice said

"Fine!" she said stomping to get a shopping cart.

"um..where's the condom section?" she asked

Poor girl. Alice and I led her there. She started loading the condoms into the cart.

Once she got all the condoms they had loaded she started back to the checkout area. Alice had her phone out and was filming.

Bella got up to the checkout line and the woman looked at her like she was crazy.

"Your gonna use all these?" she asked

"Of course!" Bella said

She eyed her suspiciously but scanned them all. After 32 minutes and 27 seconds, they were finally done. Bella scanned the card Alice had handed her and we walked off. Bella looked at the camera and said "This is for you Mike! Maybe even a few for Jake, cuz I like them hot and furry," with a wink.

Alice stopped recording then and Bella told her to send it to Edward. Within 2 minutes he was calling and yelling more but Alice said, "remember my threat, Edward." And again he shut up.

"Don't do it Bella!" he yelled before hanging up

This is going to be so much fun!

Mwahahaha I love Emmett

Stay tuned for more fun times in Wal Mart!

review please!!

emilylovee :)