Oh my gosh I want to punch myself right in the face for how incredibly long it has been since I last updated this. No, really. Wtf, me? (Also I believe it's been over a year since I started this story and have less than ten chapters to show for it. I am deeply ashamed of myself)

NOTE: I also would like to note that in the previous chapter, Matthew talks to Toris at the school. I changed this to him talking to Eduard (Estonia) because I discovered I need Toris for other things. It's annoying when back stories become clear late in the game -sighs-

When Alfred awoke his hair was a sweaty mess and he felt like he was suffocating. He sat up, filling his lungs with cool air. It made him cough. He slumped back against his pillow and stared at nothing for a long time, his hand absently stroking his sheets. His brow furrowed as his fingers traced along the cool plastic of his cellphone.

For a few more minutes he didn't move, then blinked and seemed to come back to himself. Feeling slightly numb he turned it on without looking at the screen. Who knew that finding one had no new messages could be so excruciating. Bitterness and hurt welled up and began to choke Alfred. Why wouldn't Matthew talk to him?

Just as he was about to throw the stupid thing across the room it began to ring. A jolt of adrenaline went through Alfred until he saw it was Kiku calling. Sighing softly he answered, forcing his voice to be cheerful. "Hey, what's up Kiku?"

"Hello, Alfred-kun. I was going out with Sadiq today. I thought you might like to meet him. Are you interested?"

Meeting Kiku's boyfriend... or at least one of them. Well, anything had to be better than sitting around and sinking further into his depression. "Yeah... sure, why not? I kind of have to sneak out, though. Give me a call when he's around so I can run out, alright?"

"In trouble again? Very well Alfred-kun. Talk to you soon." Kiku hung up.

Alfred sank back in his bed and let out a slow breath. Should he try calling Matthew again? Maybe. Something that Ivan had said to him last night came back to him suddenly. "Then why are you with me and not with him right now?"

The words stung sharply. Alfred didn't always want to have to be the one to make the effort, or to reach out to others. He'd spent so much time doing that. Would it kill someone to reach their hand out first? Matthew... well, he'd thought Mattie of all people might be the one to do that. Maybe he had been mistaken. Maybe Ivan was right and he would lose their bet after all.

Alfred found he didn't want to think about it right then.

Wishing he had said no to Kiku's invitation, Alfred forced himself out of bed and grabbed some clean clothes. He hurriedly dressed, using some body spray in lieu of a shower or any kind of deodorant. His fingers replaced the comb he was too lazy to find. If this Sadiq guy thought he looked like a total slob Alfred couldn't have cared less at the moment. He was trying to remember which picture had been of Sadiq when the phone rang.

It was Kiku again. "We are waiting outside, Alfred-kun."

"M'kay, be down in a sec." Alfred clicked his phone shut, tossed it onto the bed, snatched up a sweatshirt, then dashed from his room, thundering down the stairs. He heard Arthur calling his name just as reached the front door, slamming it violently behind him. It felt good, even if it was just misplaced aggression. He made a dash for a rather stylish car and slid into the back seat. "You might want to drive now."

There was rich laughter from the driver's seat and the car pulled onto the road, driving off at a speed that was definitely higher than the limit. Kiku turned to look back at Alfred. "Hello, Alfred-kun. This is Sadiq Adnan. Sadiq, my friend who you may call Alfred."

"Hello friend I may call Alfred." There was more of that pleasantly warm laughter and Alfred met the other's eyes in the rear view mirror. Vibrant green, he noted. It made him think of Arthur for a moment and he felt like sulking just a little bit.

Instead he shook the feeling off and flashed a friendly smile. "Good to meet you, Sadiq. I've been very curious about you."

"I am glad to hear it. Kiku has also spoken of you. It's nice to finally put a face to the name."

Alfred bet that Kiku hadn't talked about the other guy. What was his name, Hercules? Something like that. "Only good things I hope!"

"As if Kiku is capable of speaking of someone in any other way." Sadiq shot what was undoubtedly a look of fondness Kiku's way. A slight blush came to the smaller boy's cheeks but he did not respond.

Alfred wanted to snort but held it in. He obviously didn't know Kiku that well yet. His comments were subtle but could be amazingly cutting when he wanted them to be. Instead he laughed and things fell into silence. Alfred slumped back in his seat, noticing for the first time that it smelled wonderful in the car. Something like high quality cologne. It was probably coming from Sadiq. He stared out the window, not knowing where they were going and not particularly caring.

~.

Matthew wasn't quite sure if he was more touched or annoyed that his family was practically walking on eggshells on his behalf. Papa not only made pancakes for dinner but for breakfast as well. Angelique was deathly silent for the most part, occasionally making small comments to test the water. Perhaps it was a little childish but Matthew ignored her almost completely. Perhaps what she had done was a mistake, but it very well might be one that ruined his relationship.

And that only started to make him wonder how strong his relationship could be if one misunderstanding (or rather, a chain of them in rapid succession) was enough to knock the whole thing over.

The whole thing depressed him immensely and he sat in his room, holding his stuffed polar bear and checking his phone every five minutes to see if Alfred had called or texted and somehow he had missed it. It wasn't impossible, right? Part of him wondered if he should try calling again but after that message he had received... He felt sick. Very sick.

Francis paused by his son's room, watching him with a look of deep concern. It broke his heart to see him so miserable. It was an added misery that the whole thing was partially his fault. Even though he had punished Angelique for her hand in the mess (a sentence of two weeks grounding and the loss of certain cellphone privileges), he knew he was just as responsible if not more so. His meddling getting too deeply into other peoples' business again. It didn't help that this whole thing had really set him back with Arthur on top of everything. What a mess.

Matthew let out a sad little sigh that all but brought tears to Francis's eyes and he stepped into the room. "Matthieu... I am not sure if you are in the mood but would you like to go out and run some errands with me? It might do you some good to go out."

Matthew shrugged a shoulder. "I don't think I feel like going."

Francis walked over to Matthew's bed and sat beside him, putting an arm around his shoulders and giving him a squeeze. "Right now there are undoubtedly hurt feelings on both sides. Give him the weekend to cool off and think things through. Come Monday he will surely have calmed down enough to speak with you, I am sure."
"Well what if he doesn't?" Matthew gave him a look that was somewhere between anger and despair. "What if he just hates me now and it's all over after this?"

Francis pressed a kiss to the side of Matthew's head. "Then it is not meant to be mon petit. However, I have more faith in your relationship than that. Don't you? Hm?"

After a moment Matthew nodded slowly, not quite sure if he was actually convinced. "Yes... I'd like to, anyway."

Stroking Matthew's hair, Francis let silence sit between them for a moment as a spectrum of emotions flickered across his son's face. Matthew finally put aside his bear and looked at his Papa. "Maybe I will go with you."

Francis smiled and brushed his finger's through Matthew's hair one last time. "Everything will surely turn out for the best, Matthieu."

Matthew didn't answer but he hoped this time Papa was right.

~.

Sadiq parked the car outside of a very stylish café that Alfred had walked by before but had never been in. When he got out of the car he felt the shortest tinge of regret at his wardrobe decision when he saw that Sadiq was actually quite stylish himself. It faded quickly. What he was wearing was good enough.

Other than that, at a glance, Alfred noted Sadiq to be tall, dark, and handsome. And older. Definitely older than them. The stubble was part of it but there was a certain air about him that suggested it as well. Alfred found an odd satisfaction in the fact that he also seemed friendly.

The three went into the café and found a table. A perky waitress came over and took their order. Kiku got some sort of latte, Sadiq ordered a Turkish coffee with a slice of tiramisu, and Alfred asked for the most 'normal' type of coffee they had so long as it was left black.

Once they were left to their own devices, Alfred turned his attention to lover number one. (Or was it two?) "So, tell me something about yourself."

Sadiq launched into the basics, obviously used to that request. "I'm a computer science major in my fourth year. I attend the university in town. I take sitar lessons in my free time which is how I met Kiku."

Alfred nodded. "Yep, I heard about that. So you've been seeing each other for...?"

"A little over two months now." Sadiq looked at Kiku for confirmation and received a small nod.

"That's great," Alfred said. And he meant it. "Honestly I was surprised when I heard about you. Kiku is such a shut in."

Sadiq smiled at Kiku. "Just a little shy, aren't you güzelim? All one needs is to give a little effort to get him talking."

Too bad it seemed that Hercules guy had figured that out at about the same time. "Definitely. That's how I got close to him, too. We've been neighbors for a long time now."

Was that a flash of jealousy? If it was, Sadiq smoothed it over well. "Indeed, so I have heard. I always wanted a long term friend like that. It never did happen."

Alfred was just about to tell him it could be over rated in the most delicate terms possible when the waitress appeared, dispersing their drinks and offering Sadiq his slice of cake with a very bright smile. It went utterly ignored and she walked off looking snubbed. There was a lull as they fussed over their drinks, finding them all a bit too hot to drink.

As they waited Sadiq pulled something out of one of his pockets, gently taking one of Kiku's wrists. "I got something for you, güzelim."

Kiku and Alfred watched on as Sadiq started to fasten a bracelet around his delicate wrist. It was made up of blue glass beads. About every other bead looked like it had an eye painted on it. Kiku tilted his head and examined it curiously. "Thank you. It's lovely."

"It's a nazar boncuğu, or more commonly called an evil eye charm. It will protect you from the ill intent of others." He brought Kiku's hand briefly to his lips and color tinged the Japanese boy's cheeks.

Alfred felt himself shiver and quickly took a drink from his coffee. It scalded his tongue and he did his best not to wince. "Hm, maybe I need something like that."

"Everyone could use one," Sadiq said, matter-of-fact. "I'll see if I can get one for you."

Alfred recognized that the words were meant to endear Kiku to Sadiq further but actually there was a part of him that really wanted one of them. He could use a charm like that. "Nah, it's fine. Pretty neat, though."

Sadiq nodded, just starting on his cake when his phone rang. He glanced at it and sighed. "I hate to be rude, but I have to take this. I'll be right back."

"Not at all, please take your time." Kiku gave him a nod of understanding and Sadiq stood, answering his phone as he started to walk off towards the door. Kiku's fingers traced over the beads around his wrist.

Alfred blew on his coffee. "So... Sadiq seems nice. And I assume you like him."

"Oh yes. Sadiq is wonderful. Very intelligent and surprisingly cute. You would not necessarily guess it looking at him but he really loves sweets and tears up over soap operas." By the look on Kiku's face, by his standards, these were some of the most desirable traits another human could have.

Alfred touched his tongue to the back of his teeth for a moment, disliking the burnt feeling on the tip of his tongue. "So are you going to stick with him then?"

Kiku blinked. "What do you mean, Alfed-kun?"

"Well, you also have that Hercules-"

"His name is Heracles. What about him?"

Alfred looked at him for a moment. "Are you going to break up with him?"

Kiku gave Alfred one of those blank stares he was so damned good at. "Why would I do that?"

"But I thought you liked Sadiq." Alfred tried to take a drink of his coffee, once again scalding his tongue.

"I do. But I am also very fond of Heracles. He is so calm and his love for cats is truly unrivaled. It is very sweet. I would like you to meet him sometime. You would certainly approve of him, as well."

Alfred sure hoped that Kiku liked them for more reasons than the ones he'd given. Two people at once... It hit close to home. But Kiku had all the control over his situation. "Doesn't it bother you at all? I mean... They both really probably care about you, right?"

Kiku tilted his head. It was not common at all for Alfred to question his actions. Usually they listened to one another, sparing words of understanding for one another if it felt the other was asking for them (which wasn't often) but rarely ones of disapproval. "But I care for both of them. So it should not be a problem, right? Is... something the matter, Alfred-kun?"

"What? No... Nothing's wrong. Sorry." On some level it bothered Alfred but he knew it was only for personal reasons. He also knew it made him a hypocrite.

Kiku was naïve rather than overtly cruel. Alfred knew him well enough to know that he wasn't purposefully trying to hurt anyone and that rather it was his inexperience making him act. Alfred would leave it. No doubt this would lash back on Kiku at some point but it was a lesson he had to learn on his own. No words Alfred could give him would be as effective as a real life experience. Besides, even if it was harder, the scars of knowledge left by past mistakes never faded, were never forgotten.

Rather than let that subject dwell, Alfred decided to turn to something new. "Kiku, I have a question. How would you feel if Mei and Yao got divorced?"

The question seemed to take Kiku off guard enough that his expression actually slipped to one of surprise for a moment. "That... Well, why do you ask?"

Alfred shrugged. He could hardly tell Kiku he knew they were in fact getting divorced. "They fight all the time. It's not unusual or anything for people who don't get along well to get divorced. It was mostly just asked out of curiosity. Would you prefer if they did?"

Kiku's face became drawn. It was clear the notion had never even occurred to him before. When he answered his words were carefully chosen. "I cannot imagine either of them being the type to do that but they are both adults. It is their decision, not mine."

Alfred couldn't help but wonder if that was a brave front or if Kiku was simply that indifferent to his step-parents. "True. Though it's funny how adults are considered to have all this authority. I dunno, I don't think they actually know what they're doing either. Sort of winging it."

"Hmm... So why are you in trouble this time, Alfred-kun?" Kiku regarded him with a flash of vague curiosity.

"Oh, that. Arthur and I got in a big fight and I didn't end up coming home until late yesterday. He's just pulling his usual 'parental' bullshit." Alfred shrugged it off, giving his coffee another try. This time it was cool enough to sip without burning.

"Ah. A shame. It has been a while since that has happened. I suppose old habits die hard."

Alfred snorted to hide the pain that welled up in his chest and patted Kiku's back. "You got that right. Those things are almost impossible to kill."

Sadiq returned to the table, his expression somewhat pensive. "That was so strange."

Kiku raised an eyebrow. "What was? Your phone call?"

"No, not that." Sadiq shook his head then gestured with his chin towards the window. "I was talking and as this boy and older man were walking by the boy paused at the window and did a double take. He was staring intently and I swear it was at the two of you. The older man asked him what was wrong and he quickly turned away, saying it was nothing, but... I swear he looked almost exactly like you, Alfred. Do you have a twin?"

Alfred's mouth went dry and his stomach clenched, expression becoming pained before he could hide it. "No... Not a twin."

Alfred's mind was racing. How had that looked to Matthew, with him sitting there with Kiku? Or had he cared at all? He hadn't had much of a reaction from the sound of it but then again Sadiq wouldn't know how to read Matthew's reactions like he could. Had he been upset? Indifferent? Scornful?

Taking a deep breath, Alfred smiled and shrugged. "There is a possibility it was someone I know, though."

"If it was Williams-san, why wouldn't he come in to say hello?" Kiku quickly identified him for Sadiq, "Ah, that is Alfred-kun's boyfriend. They do have a striking resemblance to one another."

"Maybe he was too busy," Alfred muttered, giving the first excuse that came to his mind.

Kiku stared at him a moment then decided it wasn't his business. "That is a shame."

With that the issue was dropped. Sadiq seemed to pick up on the sudden strange mood and tried to banish it with interesting stories about his classes and peers. He seemed shocked to discover that Alfred had never done hashish and insisted the three of them ("And your boyfriend if he'd like to come," he added charitably) get together to do so sometime. Sadiq and Kiku got lost in a conversation over their instruments and that was perfectly alright with Alfred. He was starting to itch with impatience. He had left his cellphone at home. All he wanted was to go home and see if Matthew had called.

Once their coffee was gone, Sadiq's cake eaten, and the bill settled (Alfred was glad Sadiq insisted on picking it up as he hadn't even thought to bring money) the three finally walked from the charming café into the nippy air.

The drive back was largely as silent as it had been on the way there. As Sadiq idled outside of his house, Alfred was grateful that Arthur didn't come barrage it in all his angry eyebrow fury. "It was really great to meet you, Sadiq. I would be glad to hang out again sometime in the future."

Sadiq had turned to address him, smiling. "I would like that. And it was nice to finally meet you after hearing about you from this one."

As he said the words Sadiq reached over and stroked Kiku's cheek casually to establish that he was the one with privileges to touch and Alfred was not. Alfred didn't begrudge him the gesture and hoped that he never found out about Hercules—no wait, Heracles. It was a nightmare waiting to happen.

Kiku nodded at Alfred, looking a little shy about the touch. Hard to believe how maidenly he acted considering he was definitely no virgin. "Have a good day, Alfred-kun."

"Yep. Thanks for the coffee, Sadiq. Talk to you later, Kiku. Bye!" Alfred got out of the car and waved as they drove away. He found it interesting that Kiku wasn't dropped off at his own house. Apparently they had some more intimate plans together. Alfred briefly imagined them getting off to each other playing their weird instruments and was mildly amused before he remembered his urgency to check his cellphone.

Entering the house cautiously, Alfred quietly shut the door behind him. Admittedly he was a little suspicious when he got to his room and wasn't ambushed but didn't think much of it until he went to grab his phone from off his bed. It wasn't there. A tinge of panic started to bloom inside him and he tried to keep it down. Must have remembered it wrong. Surely it was somewhere else. He checked all available surfaces, the floor, under the bed, and even in his bedding. It was simply gone. The panic had fully bloomed when a realization struck him suddenly. Arthur had taken it.

Jumping to his feet, Alfred ran from the room, first checking Arthur's room and then rushing downstairs. He found Arthur calmly sipping tea and reading the paper. Alfred's cheeks flushed with rage at the casual display. "Where is my phone?"

Arthur didn't look up at him, instead taking another sip as his eyes jumped down to the next line. "You're under restriction. You hardly need your phone."

Alfred felt another flash of anger and gritted his teeth. "It's important! Where is my phone?"

"I won't give it back." Arthur's eyes came up sharply to meet Alfred's.

"You're such a bastard! What am I even grounded for? Because I said something that was true? Because I missed my bedtime? Seriously, what is the big fucking deal, Arthur? You're hardly around as it is, it's not even like you can enforce if I choose to follow your orders of being grounded or not!"

Arthur set his cup down and it clanked unpleasantly as it hit its matching saucer. "You may not like it, but I am the authority figure in this household and you will do as I say! Don't you disrespect me in this manner! I will not have it, and I will not have you running around God knows where at night! It's very dangerous, Alfred, and I worry about you!"

"Oh, as if! You didn't even call to try and find me, did you?"

"It's not like you would have answered your phone if I had! I'm not unreasonable, Alfred. I tried to have an open conversation with you and you're the one who spat in my face. So what am I supposed to do with you when you won't talk to me and you won't listen?" Arthur was standing now, the paper fallen forgotten at his feet.

"You only want to listen to me when it's convenient for you. So why should I bother listening in return? I have no idea what you were playing at the other night but things like that, I don't want to deal with them. If you have to clear your conscious or pretend to be my father, try to make it involve me as little as possible. Now where is my phone?"

Arthur looked deeply wounded by the words and frowned as a bitter taste filled his mouth. "You can have it when I give it back to you. Until then it stays with me. I won't have you making anymore rendezvous with your friends."

Alfred really thought he could kill Arthur in that moment. It was so unfair of him to do this! "Will you at least tell me if I got any calls?"

"No, not as far as I'm aware," Arthur said huffily before sitting back down, picking up his tea cup.

It took all of Alfred's will not to smack the cup right out of Arthur's hand. He hated him so much in that moment he didn't know what to do with himself. With a sound of disgust he turned away and stomped upstairs, slamming his door behind him and locking it.

Throwing himself onto his bed, Alfred hugged one of his pillows fiercely. Maybe he was upset over nothing. Maybe Matthew hadn't even called. He wanted him to. So much that it hurt. This whole thing was a giant mess.

~.

Somewhere along the lines during their errands, Matthew had started to brood and Francis wasn't sure why. He gently tried to probe the issue but Matthew hadn't wanted to talk about it so he let it drop. Francis remembered what it was like to be so young. Honestly he had been much worse at this age. Then again, he'd also been dealing with a drug addicted mother and a neglectful father. Even if he was a miserable excuse for a parent he knew he was an improvement on that.

When they got home Matthew silently slipped to the sanctuary of his room and tried to work through what he had seen at the café. Why had Alfred been with Kiku? Was he simply getting comfort from him or had he actually been spending all that time he was unaccounted for with him? Was Kiku the reason Alfred didn't want to talk to him?

Confusion and hurt rose up and intermingled with an ugly streak of jealousy. In a time when he wasn't certain if Alfred even wanted to speak to him ever again, Kiku was casually hanging out with him in a public place. As much as he'd tried to ignore the rumors, Alfred did have a reputation. Had Matthew been thrown over for an ongoing affair with Kiku?

No, now he was jumping to far too radical conclusions. Besides, it was too painful to even imagine that was true for a moment. It was hard not to, though, and even more jealousy welled up as he unwillingly wondered if they were sleeping together even at that very moment.

That was too much for Matthew. Sitting up, he pulled out his cellphone as a wave of determination came over him. He was going to call Alfred one more time. If Alfred didn't want him to call, he could say it to him out loud to finalize it for good. Fingers trembling slightly, Matthew brought up Alfred's number and hit send.

The phone began to ring and Matthew's whole body was tense. Miles away Alfred's phone sat in the back of one of Arthur's drawers, the ringer set to silent. Matthew silently begged for Alfred to pick up, desperately wanting to hear his voice no matter what it said. He did get to hear it finally, but only when Alfred's voice mail picked up. Heart sinking, the temporary nerve seemed to leave him and he hung up.

Matthew collapsed onto his side, face pressing against one of his pillows. He grabbed his polar bear and hugged it tightly to his chest. The tears were slow in coming but once they started they lasted for a long time.

~.

Kiku sat on Sadiq's bed. He had his own apartment. It was small but Sadiq utilized the space well. Kiku's eyes traveled along one of the walls. Sadiq liked to collect masks and there were all kinds up on display. Some were plain, some very fancy, and there were so many colors and materials. It was always a delight to look at them.

There was the smallest buzz as Kiku's phone began to ring. He checked it and saw that it was Heracles. He answered, his voice soft. "Hello."

Heracles's voice responded with that sleepy tone it always had. "Mm... hey, Kiku. I was wondering... would you be interested in having dinner with me?"

Kiku looked at the door briefly to make sure Sadiq wasn't nearby. "I cannot do it tonight, I'm a little busy right now. But tomorrow would work for me. Would that be alright?"

"Ahh... yeah, that would be good for me, too. Okay. We can decide on a time tomorrow, then. I'll talk to you later, Kiku."

"Yes, that sounds good. I will talk to you later." Kiku hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket. That should be nice. Heracles always proves to be such a soothing dinner partner. He's just soothing to be around in general and Kiku liked that.

After thinking that over and how he would excuse it to Yao and Mei his thoughts eventually turned to that afternoon and Alfred. At first he wasn't sure why but then he worked it out. Something was off with his friend. The way Alfred had reacted when Sadiq had told him that someone who was probably Matthew was outside, the fact that Matthew (if it was him) didn't come inside, Alfred's question over whether it was alright with him seeing two people... Kiku couldn't help but wonder if there were some connections between these things. Something was certainly going on. Something wrong... Did the picture fit together?

It was during his musings that Sadiq finally came in, lacking everything but pants. He smiled warmly at Kiku, walking towards him. When he sat beside him no words were shared between them. Sadiq leaned in and began to kiss Kiku's jaw as one of his hands slipped beneath the hem of his shirt. Kiku flushed and tilted his head. As his lips were captured in a kiss, fingers stroking his bare skin, all thoughts of Alfred were swept completely from his mind.

~.

The sun was already getting low in the sky. Soon it would start getting dark in the afternoon. Winter was coming closer every day and Alfred felt an added layer of misery as he contemplated this. He hated the winter and the way it seeped deep into his bones and dusted the earth with a layer of death. Warm; he wanted to live somewhere warm someday. Not here, not Russia.

Alfred's eyes roamed his room and with a small sigh he hauled himself up. He walked to the window, fingers lightly pressing against the cool glass. The room across the way had a light on but it was empty. Withdrawing his hand, Alfred started to move away then noticed a notebook on his desk. He picked it up and flipped through the pages. There were some half-hearted math notes in the first few pages and the rest was blank.

More on a whim than anything he turned to one of the first empty pages then searched the messy desktop until he found a sharpie. The tip hovered above the paper for a moment and then he drew a large circle, giving it an unhappy face. He ripped the page out and set it in the window.

As Alfred glanced up a startled jolt went through him as he realized Ivan was at the other window, watching him. Ivan looked from him to the drawing then disappeared again for a moment. Alfred's heart was starting to calm from the unexpected shock when Ivan reappeared with his own notebook. He drew for a second then held it up. It was a question mark.

Hesitating for a moment, Alfred finally shrugged and wrote out 'Arthur', holding it up for Ivan to see. Ivan tilted his head and drew something else, this time taking longer. When it was finished he held it up for Alfred. It was another frowny face but had thick, angry eyebrows. Alfred snorted and suppressed a laugh, trying to hold it in. When he straightened up Ivan was smiling.

Taking a few deep breaths to further calm himself, Alfred tapped the sharpie against the desk. That had released some of the tension in his chest and he felt a little better. He turned the notebook to a fresh page and started to draw again. The two went back and forth for a while, communicating with single words and pictures.

As it got later Alfred found he was down to two more pages in the notebook. On the second to last he thought about it carefully then wrote 'X paper'. Ivan nodded then worked on his reply, finally turning the page towards Alfred. It was simply a heart. Alfred turned to his last page and thought hard about it before writing the word 'Bye' with a small heart next to it. Honestly it didn't look like much of a heart at all. More like a dented triangle. It almost made him laugh and seemed to amuse Ivan. Or maybe the older man was just happy with it. He waved then closed his blinds before throwing the notebook in one of the desk drawers.

Soon his problems would come crashing down again but that had been a pleasant reprieve, even if it had been a short one. It also reminded him of why he had initially been drawn to Ivan. In his strange little ways he was fun.

Across the way Ivan closed his own blinds, smiling to himself. Things were getting back on track nicely. Surely it would only be a little longer before that small bump in his plans would be smoothed over completely. It hadn't even been that difficult and he was glad for that. There wasn't much time left before Alfred would be his.

~.

Alfred was a curious child and brightened at new discoveries. He was absolutely dazzled by the various wonders in Ivan's house that came from the exotic land of Russia. The few times he'd sneaked over (climbing the fence and knocking on the back door secret agent style), he'd found something interesting to occupy him each time. Ivan was a somewhat distant companion but captured his interest as well.

Currently he was preoccupied by a matryoshka doll, playing with the various layers of the strangely painted wooden women. He'd never seen something like it before. He also couldn't quite wrap his mouth around the proper name of it but that hardly mattered to him. It was easy enough to avoid calling it by name so Ivan couldn't correct him a million times.

Ivan watched him, occasionally telling him little stories or facts that came to his mind. Alfred was a surprisingly good listener, particularly considering his age. He still wasn't quite sure how he felt about the child but if nothing else he was a nice distraction from time to time.

The phone began to ring and Ivan turned his head, looking at the phone on the table beside the couch. There were very few people who called him and his usual smile turned to a hard line. Reaching over, he answered the phone. "Allo?"

The voice that answered was immediately identifiable before the name was given. "Ivan, it's Toris."

It was refreshing to hear a familiar voice in a familiar language. "I know. Do you have news for me?"

"Ah..." There was a long pause and it was all the answer Ivan needed. "I, um, I'm actually calling to check on you. How have you been?"

"Well enough. I hope you have been, also."

"Yes, I'm alright. Fairly busy but that's nothing new. I've seen your sisters recently. They're doing well."

The slightest smile came to Ivan's lips. "Oh? I am glad to hear that. I miss them and I do not talk with them as much as I would like."

"They miss you, too. Very much. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before... Well." Toris faltered and didn't seem to know how to proceed.

The smile disappeared again. "Is he still ill?"

"Ill? No, I'm afraid not. His illness was so bad for a while I really did think it was going to be the end of him but... Recently he's gotten much better."

"No, of course someone like him could not be killed by something as common as an illness. If I did not want him to die so quickly I would wish something like a terrible, slow moving cancer on him."

There was something that wasn't quite laughter on the other end of the line then another pause of silence. "I'm sorry, Ivan."

"It is not your fault. I do appreciate all you did for me. All things will happen in good time." Too much time for his liking, but he had no control over such things, unfortunately. "It was good to hear from you, but I actually have a guest at the moment."

Toris sounded surprised but not unhappy to hear this. "Oh! A guest? You've made a connection?"

Ivan glanced over at Alfred, who was now watching him curiously. "Something like that."

"That's good. I'm glad to hear that. Take care of yourself, Ivan. I'll call you again sometime soon. And you know you can call if you ever need to."

"I know, thank you. Oh, there is one more thing."

"Yes?"

Ivan's voice became cheerful. "Do not touch my little sister or you will regret it."

There was a small choking sound. "I- I mean, that's-"

"Have a nice day, Toris!" Ivan gently set the phone back in its cradle.

Alfred got up on the couch, head tilted. "I like it when you speak Russian. It sounds weird."

Ivan noted that Alfred's own English accent was starting to fade. "It does not sound weird. It sounds as it should."

"Huh, well I think it's funny. But maybe English sounds funny to you," he added.

The small smile returned to Ivan's lips. "Would you like to see how it is written? I am sure you will find that strange as well."

Alfred nodded quickly. "Yeah! I want to see!"

Ivan got up to find a piece of paper and a pencil before returning to the couch. He used his leg to write a sentence on it then handed it out for Alfred. The boy stared at it blankly then frowned. He gave Ivan a suspicious look. "Are you trying to play a joke on me or something? There's no way anyone can read this!"

"Just because you cannot does not mean other people cannot. I know perfectly well what it says."

"Oh yeah?" Alfred gave him an almost indignant look. "And what does it say?"

Ivan lightly poked Alfred's nose with the eraser. "It translates to something like, 'This boy does not know how to read Russian'."

Alfred frowned at Ivan then at the language. It melted back into a look of excitement. "It's like a code! Code language, something like that?"

Ivan shrugged. "Perhaps, if you would like to think about it that way."

"I want to try writing some, hand over the pencil." Once he had it, Alfred slipped onto the floor, kneeling in front of the couch and setting the paper on the cushion as he attempted to copy the Russian letters. They were clumsy but it was an earnest effort. Alfred suddenly spoke, not looking up from the paper. "Who were you talking to?"

"Someone I knew in Russia. We... worked together sometimes." It was about all he would say of the man to anyone.

Alfred paused and looked up at him for a moment, meeting his eyes. "You seemed a little upset when you were talking with him. Are you alright?"

It had been a long time since anyone had asked him that. An even longer time since someone had asked him that and actually cared about the answer. The fact that Alfred had picked up on his emotions at all was... His smile softened, though he wasn't really aware of it. "I am alright."

Alfred paused for another moment then beamed at him, returning to the Russian letters. Ivan reached out almost gingerly and touched his hair for a moment before withdrawing his hand. His interest in this boy only seemed to increase over time. A question had started to form within him, not yet fully developed but coming closer to the surface. Was this boy another sunflower or was he capable of being molded into a gardener?

Translation:

Güzelim – my beautiful one

AN: So angsty -laughs- Next chapter should have a slight improvement in mood. (I've only recently realized this is a melodrama -laughs-) Also TurkeyxJapan: MOST UNDERRATED HETALIA PAIRING EVER.