Calamity Clarisse

A/N: Well, I'm here. This chapter has been written for a long time but I'm having close to no free time lately. Anyway, since I'm bed sick, I'm finding the time to update CC.

On a side note, how gorgeous does Leven Rambin look as Clarisse, huh? You can be excited or not about it but I just love her outfits and the fact that they are paying more attention to details on this one. Also, Stanley Tucci as Mr. D? Gorgeous!

And you won't see me complaining about their casting choice for Chris either. IF-YOU-KNOW-WHAT-I-MEAN.

Anyway, this chapter and the next will focus a lot less on humor but the bright side is that, if I did it right, you guys are in for a lot of romantic development. : )

P.S.: Just fyi, I'm a big fan of the Apollo cabin. Clarisse, however…

Chapter 9: The Source of All Evil gets a Booboo

"Yes it was childish/and you got aggressive/ and I must admit that /I was a bit scared/but it gives me thrills to wind you up." (Kate Nash – Foundations)

Ok, so Beckendorf was right: I had no life. It was eating, sleeping, dodging Maimer and that was it.

"You threw me off a tree!" I said as I cleaned the dirt of my kneepads and followed Clarisse further into the woods. "It was a tall tree!"

"Correction," She said without as much as turning around to look at me. "You fell off a tree while trying to spy on me like a creep."

"I wasn't spying on you!"

She turned her head around just enough so she could glare at me through her helmet. Sweatpants or not, Clarisse looked at least five times scarier under her head gear. And that was saying something.

"Ok, maybe a little." I admitted, feeling defeated. "But only because I had to! If I didn't follow orders, Pimp-endorf would show me the back of his hand or something."

She raised an eyebrow and stared at me as if I had just had a minor stroke in front of her:

"…What?"

"I hate Beckendorf." I sighed. "He's mean and evil and bossy and treats me like I'm a piece of meat." I whined as sarcastically as I could manage so I wouldn't sound too pathetic but she just stood there looking as judgmental as possible before sighing:

"I thought you and Beckendorf were friends." I chuckled:

"People say the same thing about the two of us all the time and that never really stopped you from trying to slit my throat, now did it?" I crossed my arms. "Actually, I was just thinking about it the other day; when I was a kid, this huge monster tried to attack me and the people at daycare just assumed I had made friends with a dangerous wild animal."

"Point being?" She looked annoyed already. It always annoyed her when people ranted.

"Point being that I need to stop making friends. I'm not sure I like it." I made a face. " Way too life threatening, if you ask me."

She stretched her arms and rolled her eyes before resuming her walk:

"Whatever you say."

"I thought you'd be with the flag." I pointed out as I kept following her.

"I know you'd thinkt that." She agreed. "And so did Beckendorf if he sent you here."

"He was pretty sure I'd be able to distract you and steal the flag."

"Isn't that what they always think?" She threw herself on the grass and crossed her arms under her head, staring at the sky.

"I guess so." I shrugged.

Like I said, Beckendorf's plan wasn't exactly new; many people before him came up with the idea of using me to get to Clarisse; whether she was the flag keeper or just a threat they wanted out of their way as quickly as possible. We were both more than used to it. Had she been the flag keeper, I'd just insult her, make her chase me, leave her post for just enough time we could get our hands on the flag. If she was just a threat, I'd do the same thing, basically (except I'd have to run way faster since she wouldn't even hesitate before sprinting after me with her spear).

Beckendorf, however, was the first one to suggest I could distract her with, you know, that whole thing he said I should use. I hated him for pointing out that I could, for suggesting that I should and, most of all, for implying it'd work. Clarisse wasn't like him, she wasn't that type of person. Even if she liked me like he likes Silena – even then – her duty would come first.

Even if her duty was just Capture the Flag.

"You were spying on me." She pointed out, her eyes still on the cloudless sky. I cringed but she couldn't see me, so I added:

"I told you; I had orders."

"You had orders to distract me." She corrected. "Not to stay on a tree waiting for me to take my clothes off."

"WHY WOULD YOU EVEN TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF?" I yelled at her accusation so offended, she cocked her upper body on her elbows and turned to face me. We stared at each other, my eyes burning with offense and her illegible; this quietness seemed to last for almost a minute.

And then she laughed.

"I wasn't spying on you!" I repeated knowing my ears were burning but that Clarisse wasn't paying attention anymore. "Why would you take your clothes off? I wasn't expecting anything, I was just waiting for the right moment to attack, I…"

"Christopher," She rolled on the floor and looked up to face me. "I was joking. You can shut up about it now, ok? I know strategy; I know what you were doing. Get over yourself."

She rolled back to her previous position. There was grass on her armor, she was wearing pajamas, she had called me Christopher and she wasn't guarding the flag. I had no idea what was going on anymore.

"I'm bored."

"Why aren't you keeping the flag?"

"You want to train or something? We could spar, I guess." I rolled my eyes at her in contempt:

"Who are you? This is Capture the Flag, just charge me like a normal child of Ares, for crying out loud." I only had enough time to notice the smile curl on her lips and her fingers tighten their grasp around Maimer and then I was already in position, holding my sword as well as she was up with a jump.

One, two…

And then there we were; gritting our teeth, busy on a staring contest, frozen in our defense/offense positions. The thing about fighting against Clarisse, even after years of practice, is that she'd mix Maimer's power, Wushu spear fighting and MMA moves all at once with a few other things here and there so it wasn't like you could predict her every move, if you know what I mean. This one time I was sure I had a safe victory when, all of a sudden, she dropped all her weapons and went for a Shinning Wizard. It hurt on both my chin and my ego.

She smirked and I chuckled:

"Not so bored anymore, huh?"

"You wish." She snored. "You're hardly enough to entertain me." Oh, on the subject of ego!

I narrowed my eyes at her but the key to winning against her was keeping calm and not letting these comments get to you, so I never did. I would study her movements, keep track of what she was doing so I could trace her plan of attack and come up with the right defense and attack of my own. Whenever she lunged at me from my right – knowing my defense was weaker there since I was left-handed – her own left was exposed and I'd make my move there. She'd manage to dodge but the fraction of second it took her to regain her balance was all I needed to go for a follow-up strike. The time I had spent insane had shrunk me a lot muscle-wise, that was given, but it also made me lighter, faster.

"Entertained now?" I said, trying not to pant and ruin the moment. She looked at me for half a second before flipping backwards in the sky, using my chest for impulse. "Now you're just showing off!" I said as she landed soft and safely on her feet about a foot away from me. She snarled but I think she was trying to giggle:

"I don't need to show off." She spun Maimer as if it was a light saber. "I'm just naturally cool, Speedy Gonzales."

My jaw dropped and I let go of my guard completely:

"Speedy Gonzales? That's a new one."

Clarisse looked genuinely proud:

"I know! It came up during the weekend! How come I never thought of it before? It covers so many different aspects of who you are!"

"Plus it's racist and you love a good and old race joke." I added with a scowl. She shrugged:

"It's a cool nickname, you know you love it. Don't be such a buzz kill."

I glared at her:

"I guess it's not that bad." I rolled my eyes. She chuckled and gestured for me to get my guard up again with her chin.

"Great, now andale, andale!"

Ok, so I laughed. I'm allowed to.

"I don't care how funny it is." I spun my sword like a light saber too. "I'm still kicking your ass today." She scoffed:

"Who's joking now?" She said using her free hand to throw a punch that, I knew, was meant as a decoy. I ignored it and dodged easily, getting hold of her wrist. This was a move I had seen a hundred times before. It was standart, simple, a 101 spar class sort of thing. Very unlike Clarisse.

Actually, everything seemed very unlikely about that fight. First of all, I was having time to think and that wasn't really how it usually went down. All her moves were dangerous, of course, but they were also slower than I remembered – and, believe me, I'm fast, I know slow when I see it. And there was no way I had gotten any better after all the time I spent lying on the floor and biting my nails scared of the labyrinth. No, this was something else. I knew every single move she used because they were all so predictable and basic, a newcomer could make them after a couple of weeks at camp. Sure, she'd throw one or two more dangerous moves here and there but I could see her hesitating still.

At first I thought this was part of a new strategy, that she was planning something else - something worse – but the strikes never got me.

"Clarisse," I said blocking her spear with my elbow and then by my left hand. "do me a favor." I used my free hand to send Maimer flying away from us onto the ground. "At least respect me enough to pretend you're fighting for real."

"What are you talking ab—" She was already snarling, defensive but I was so pissed off, I didn't even feel like prolonging the conversation.

"I told you I wasn't weak anymore, why would you even…" I sighed, stopping before I said anything else. "You know, what? Forget it."

I tossed my own sword aside on the grass and turned around, away from the conversation.

"Chris," Clarisse started again, sounding way less threatening than before but I ignored her. I threw myself on the ground and exhaled, angry.

For, like, five seconds – while we were sparring – things seemed like the way they used to be. Before I went into the labyrinth, went insane and betrayed everyone. Before Arizona and the apathetic Clarisse I didn't know, before Silena and Charlie and all that.

You see, the reason I was so fond of what I had with Clarisse before wasn't because we were friends – I'd never say we used to be friends – it was different than that. We hardly ever spoke, actually. We agreed and disagreed often and we used to trash talk people from time to time as well as betting against each other and training but that was all of it. The big difference came from the fact that we understood each other's anger.

Silena once told me Clarisse was the only one who didn't seem surprised I had joined the titans; she told me she was positive Clarisse was just faking it to seem strong but I knew better. Everyone at camp liked me, they were nice to me and I was nice to them but, maybe because Chiron had handed me to her when I first arrived, she was the only one I could go to when I was really pissed off. Clarisse knew a rotten version of me no one else did.

Clarisse's rotten version of herself is Clarisse so that doesn't exactly apply to her but we used to sit and talk and smash things and that was good. Having someone who's aware of whom you can be was very comforting and I know it made her feel better about her own constant need to kill and maim. It made everything less lonely.

And then it was over because now everything's awkward and weird and we can't be ourselves or even fight and everyone thinks we are in love or something and oh gods, I hate everything.

I looked up and saw her staring down at me against the darkening skies.

"Chris," She attempted but I turned my head to the side so I wouldn't look at her face, she needed to take a hint.

Clarisse doesn't take hints.

"YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU WHINY PUNK!" She yelled, stomping on my chest, making me grasp for air. "I'M TALKING TO YOU AND I WON'T BE IGNORED, YOU HEAR ME?"

Had it been some other time I would have made a clever remark about how I wouldn't listen to her but at the moment I was so beyond that, I didn't give her anything. We just stood there, her foot on my chest plate, suffocating me as we remained frozen in pure stubbornness.

We remained like that, my eyes always focused on a spot in the sky far away from her face, 'till she finally gave up and, awkwardly kneeled next to me and, even then, I didn't look at her.

So, to my utter surprise and confusion, she actually took one of my hands in both of hers. This time, I took a glimpse on her direction just to make sure I wasn't going senile (hey, it had happened once) but went back to nonchalant in a second.

"Okay. I get it." She sounded sincere but I could tell she was rolling her eyes behind my back. "You have all the reason to be upset, I'd probably be too if it were me." Probably? Had the roles been reversed, I'd already be impaled head over feet with her spear dodging all possible vital organs so that I could slowly bleed to death in excruciating pain. "But I'm not sorry for what I did."

Gee, what a plot twist. Not.

I glared at her and she smiled a smile that disarmed me a little 'cause I had never seen it before but that was hardly enough to get my mind off my hurt ego.

I expected her to say something else but she never did. Instead, she started taping her fingers on my hand nervously 'till she looked down and, as if she had just noticed it there, let go awkwardly. The conversation wasn't going anywhere and I couldn't stand the silence any longer. I used my elbows to lift my upper body and looked her in the eye:

"You know what I don't get?" She smirked and opened her mouth. "Spare me." She bit her lip, frustrated. I rolled my eyes.

"Here's the thing, Clarisse, I understand things are weird right now with people at camp staring at you and speculating about whether or not we are secretly making out every chance we get." The two of us cringed in disgust. "But that's no reason for you to do things like this. Actually, it makes even less sense because just last week you beat me up senseless just because I wouldn't call you a girl. If I recall well, you hit me repeatedly on the hair."

"Head." She corrected me.

"I don't care about my head." I waved her off. "Anyway, you are acting crazier than you ever did and, believe me, that's saying something. And I know a thing or two about crazy."

She kept pulling the grass from the ground with tightened fists nervously; no sign of an answer ever came out from her mouth.

"You forced Beckendorf to give up on a fight against me, you took his place, I beat you, you-"

"You cheated!"

"That's how winning happens in cabin 11, sweetie! Deal with it!" I rolled my eyes. "I'm trying to understand why you'd be avoiding fighting me when just the other day you were so willing to kick my ass?"

"I'm always willing to kick-"

"AHA!" I pointed at her face and yelled so loudly she looked sideways, startled. "Now that's a lie, isn't it? 'Cause you are not always willing to kick my ass!"

"I don't know how to respond to that."

I stood up at once and started walking in circles around her, spilling every thought that crossed my mind very accusingly – because I really like lawyer shows and this felt pretty great.

"You claim we are still the same, you say you still hated me and that you've always hated me but now, now you're afraid to hurt me with your spear or to fight with me for real but unless I really, really bug you like the girl thing the other day, you'll control yourself, won't you? 'Cause I'm still not over the labyrinth? 'Cause you think I'm weak because I went insane? Because you're afraid I'll lose it again? What is it, Clarisse? What?"

She had been staring at her knees the whole time I spoke and I knew she wouldn't be quiet for long so I pressured and pressured 'till she finally yelled:

"It's not because of you, you jerk. It's because of me!"

"What?" It was my turn to be startled.

"All you think is about how messed up you were and how awful it was that you went crazy but – " She stopped suddenly. Clarisse wasn't one to hold back her thoughts, yet – she did.

I took a sit right in front of her in the grass.

"No, don't stop talking." I told her. "Let's get this over with once and for all. I'm done pretending things are just like they were if they aren't. "

She finally looked at me and I saw something I had never seen in her eyes before. Honest fear.

"Go ahead, Clarissa. You can say whatever's bugging you. I promised Mr. D I'd take my penance. He said I'd have to deal with the rue of what I did so, please, be the rue." I smiled at my pun but I don't think she got the joke.

Clarisse rolled her eyes but she looked more tired than irritated when she spoke:

"You are bugging me." I opened my mouth to protest but she cut me off "I'm not joking. I'm telling you the truth. It's your attitude that is making me upset, it's the reason I control fighting and the same reason I can't control beating you up from time to time." She bit the inside of her cheeks, I could tell she was hating every second of that conversation. "I know you for a long time, Chris, I know why you do most of the stupid things you do and I know it's usually because you don't think before you act."

"Oh, geez, you're one to talk." She glared at me again.

"I bet you a thousand dollars you went into that labyrinth because someone made it look like a dare, because you felt like someone believed you wouldn't do it." I bit my lower lip. "And then you recover and you expect things to go back to normal but they won't, right? You act like everything's cool but they aren't. "

"I was told to take my penance."

"Oh, spare me." She was getting angry at last, like she was finally saying what she wanted to say from the beginning. "You know why I don't want you to get hurt? It's not because I think you're weak, it's because you're unpredictable, Christopher. I had no idea you wanted to join the Titan's army, it's because I never knew you were hurting that much. You claimed you told me everything but you didn't. "

I kept looking down, speechless. Penance, I told myself.

"So I can't hurt you because I can never believe you're really ok. You say you are but don't you think I know you've been napping so much because sleeping at night is so hard for you? Don't you think people tell me about what you say if they find you asleep somewhere? The things you whisper or yell while you're having nightmares? I've seen it happen to all my brothers and sisters and I know you'll never tell me the truth about it, so, no, I can't hurt you because – no matter how well you say you are – I can't tell if you're lying anymore."

"I always believed in everything you said because you don't lie." She exhaled. "But then you ran away and you went crazy and I had to take care of you and I had – " She stopped. "You're reckless, you lie, you let your pride get the best of you and I won't risk having you go crazy or get hurt again because, in the end, I'm the one who has to deal with it. I picked up the pieces once, I can't do it twice. So, no, I'm not sorry I wasn't fighting for real. I can't tell anything with you anymore."

Silent fell on the meadow, Clarisse looked flushed with anger and from speaking more than I had ever seen her do. I didn't know what to say, it wasn't often that someone laid out everything they hated about me. No, sorry – that part happened frequently, I just usually didn't care about it. It was tougher than what I imagined and, for the first time, I felt the penance thing hit me for real.

"I made you go through a lot of crap, didn't I?" I started but she buffed in frustration.

"No, stop! I forbid you from feeling guilty!" She rolled her eyes. "I know it sounded like I was trying to guilt you into feeling sorry but that's not the point!"

"Oh, so, forgive me, but I really can't see the point clearly here." I added sarcastically.

"Point is, Chris, that I can't help worrying about what happens to you now because I can't think you tell me everything anymore. All the rest, the rest about having to take care of you, that was tough but – newsflash: the whole camp messes things up all the time and I have to fix it. You're no different!"

"So, basically, what you're saying is that I've damaged our relationship for good but, as for the rest, we are all good?"

"Yes." She shrugged.

"Well, that's great then, why didn't you say so earl…THAT'S NOT OK, CLARISSA!"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why is it so bad that we have a damaged relationship anyway?" She shrugged again. "It's not like we were ever friends or anything."

I threw my head on the grass and moaned.

"What?" She asked. I rolled to the side and stared at her from my place on the ground.

"Remember when I went to see you in your bedroom the other day?"

"At three…"

"At three in the morning, yes. Remember that?" She nodded. "Back then, Silena had just talked to me about how we clearly had unsolved feelings for each other."

"You and Silena?" She raised an eyebrow, confused.

"No, Little Miss ADD, You and I."

"Oh." She swallowed her own saliva. "I already hate the direction this conversation is taking."

"Well, bear with me." I scratched the back of my head. "Of course, I never actually thought I had romantic feelings for you – well, not really. I mean, not for over half an hour or so…"

"What?"

"I think it was the charmspeak thing."

"Oh." Clarisse didn't look really disappointed or anything.

"Thing is, I still missed you. I still felt like we needed to talk, solve things out."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you said you can never tell if I'm telling the truth anymore because I'm so worried about looking ok about doing risky things and I kind of wanted you to know that I think," I sighed. "That I think I can be a grown up and let you know that it's ok if you know I'm not as ok as I say I am."

"You don't have to tell me anything." She pointed out coldly.

"I know, but, like I said, I wanted us to solve things because, even though I didn't know back then, I think this whole thing about us never really being friends is bull crap. So, please, take this conversation as my peace offering."

I gave this a second thought.

"No, a war offering. I know you like those better." And then she said something I never expected her to:

"Have you talked to your father?"

"What?"

"Your father, the one you said you'd talk to as soon as you got back on your feet. The one the crazy version of you forbid me to talk to."

"Clarisse, I don't see how…"

"You say I'm not fighting you for real but you're not annoying me as usual, you're avoiding to annoy people in general. You're not picking fights, not stealing things… You accuse me of backing off but you are doing the same." She gave me a confident smile. "You have to try and go back to who you used to be. It's not just lowering your head to everything people say."

"Clarisse, I've betrayed everyone."

"Yeah, I know." She snorted. "But it's not like everyone here's a saint either. She-Jackson is still totally into Luke Castellan, Beckendorf explodes his own campers all the time and don't let me get started on the Apollo cabin."

"What did the Apollo cabin do?"

"Oh, nothing in particular, I just hate them." We both chuckled. "Look, Chris, I know you have this penance thing going on but you can't let it define you. We can only be ok if you're ok."

I smiled:

"This is the weirdest conversation we've ever had."

"One would think so but you clearly don't remember the things you said when we were back in Arizona." She patted me on the helmet awkwardly and stood up. I followed her.

"I'm sorry you went through crap because of me." She looked back at me.

"I'm sorry you did crap then went insane."

"Thanks."

"No problem." She picked up her spear and stared at me. "Are we done talking?"

"Hopefully, forever." I said grabbing my own sword. "Do I get an honest chance of getting my ass kicked now?"

"We will see about that." She said but there was a smile on the corner of her mouth.

"You know, later we could bet on stand up peeing again."

"I wouldn't, if I were you." She scoffed. "I've had a lot of time to master my technique while you were lying on a bed, wearing adult diapers."

"Oh, that's right." I felt my cheeks burning. "I wore adult diapers, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did." She shrugged as to tell me it wasn't a big deal. Maybe it was something she was used to, seeing all of her siblings hurt in battles.

Desperation suddenly took over and I grabbed her by the wrist with my free hand, my eyes wide open in fear of a thought that had just crossed my mind:

"WHO CHANGED THEM?"

She stared at me in silence for a second, processing the question, and then let go of my hand disgusted:

"NOT ME, YOU WEIRDO!" And then, more calmly: "I think a nurse satyr did it while you were here and, back in Arizona, we asked a friend of the family who owns a bike shop near our apartment to…"

"LARS!" I yelled out of the blue, finally making sense of things. "Oh, gods, Lars!" I said again, finally making sense of things.

"Yes, Lars." Clarisse agreed with a puzzled look on her face. "You remember his name? He's a great guy."

"With surprisingly soft hands." I sighed, lying down on the grass again. I felt very tired for no reason.

"What?"

"Nothing."

I suppose I could have ended the conversation right there but then I thought "we are already here we might as well go on."

"It's not just Lars I remember." I told her with my eyes closed. "I don't remember everything but things keep coming back to me. It makes it harder to get over, of course, but Mr.D…"

"Mr. D said it was your penance, you told me that." I felt her sitting near me. "The old rag is such a pain." Some lightning and thunder followed her comment but she ignored them. "I clearly remember we deciding that the best penance for you would be something cruel and uncomfortable like rubbing oil on his back for the rest of your life or something."

"That was you?" I opened my eyes and raised my head to stare at her in shock. She didn't even flinch. I gave it a second thought. "I don't know why I'm shocked; it has you written all over it." I rested my head on the grass again.

"Yeah, but I never asked him for you to keep you memories. I honestly thought forgetting, at least the madness part, would be for the best. That's, you know, too cruel. Even for me."

"Yeah, it's Greek god cruel." I sighed. "But don't get all worked up over this, I'm actually glad I get to remember. Makes me feel less guilty when I think about how I'm facing things. Besides, not all memories are bad." I smirked and Clarisse got a little jumpy.

"Your dog hated me." I said and she relaxed a little.

"It's not Agrius' fault, if you think about it. I mean, all dogs hate thieves and the mailman and, well, you're sorta both."

"Still, you could have possibly avoided him from entering the bedroom a few times and chewing on my arm, couldn't you?"

"He grew attached, I think." She shrugged like it was no big deal. Let me tell you something about Agrius – conveniently named after a man eating giant who was part bear – he was a 210lbs English mastiff with teeth as big as my thumb. The only thing he was attached to was my limbs.

"You didn't like me much either, did you?" At first she assumed I was talking about letting the dog in but then she dodged her eyes from my face and I decided to change the subject. "It's ok, though, 'cause now I know you wear a YALE sweater at home."

"It's my mom's."

"Your mom has a degree?"

"She has a PhD."

"I don't remember a lot about your mum but I'm pretty sure she didn't strike me as the Ivy League type." Clarisse looked nervous again:

"Let's not open that door."

"O…k?"

Then, she stood up at once:

"Hadn't we agreed we were done talking?" I knew she'd get tired eventually; I was already testing her limits anyway. Without questioning her, I stood up, cleaned the grass from my armor and grabbed my sword.

"I bet you're just afraid I'll remember something cute and sweet you did."

I could only see her back but I could swear her whole body froze for a whole ten seconds before she turned to face me and said:

"Why, did I do something sweet and adorable?" If you paid real attention, you'd see her smile was flickering a little bit and she was just acting cool. I was quiet for a while, savoring the moment, and, then, I shrugged:

"Not one." Her shoulders immediately relaxed.

"Thought so."

Obviously, I was lying. I personally thought having a dog and wearing university sweaters around the house was pretty cute – well, it's pretty much all the cuteness you could get from Clarisse – but I felt it wasn't my place to tell her that. Things were already awkward enough as they were. Besides, I'd never tell her, but I could remember all the crying and begging too. The trying to feed me, the falling asleep next to me – these things I'd never tell her I remembered. And it wasn't even because it'd be awkward, no. It was because I was so thankful and I had so much respect for her, I couldn't bring myself to mention it.

We didn't say anything for a while and it was starting to get weird, when she seemed to remember we were supposed to be sparring.

"Look, let me just say something before I get to kick your ass." She was picking at something on the grass with the tip of her spear, so she wasn't really looking me in the eye when she spoke. "Why don't we just stop whining about things that happened and how things are now? You are the one who likes to say "if you ignore a problem for long enough, they go away thinking you haven't seen them", right?"

"Clarissa, I don't think this is the type of thing I can just ignore."

"Yeah, I know, but I don't mean – you know – camp or what you did or anything. I mean us. Like, what we were and what we are now. Let's just relax about that." I raised my eyebrow at her. "I know, I never thought I'd tell someone to relax about something but, you see, if there isn't a clear solution, then it's pointless . We can't attack the matter strategically and we can't face it straight on, right? So, let's just – not act like it never happened – just, you know, accept it, embrace it, deal with it. Act normal around each other 'till it really feels normal. We don't need to talk about it or anything. Let's just…"

I wasn't believing my ears and I bet you ten drachma she wasn't either.

"Go on, Clarissa, finish that sentence." I was already avoiding a chuckle. I knew it'd kill her to say it.

"Let's just be friends from now on."

"HA! YOU SAID WE ARE FRIENDS!" I yelled and pointed like a six year old bully but she laughed too, even though she was glaring at me.

"Whatever! Grab your sword, I promise I'll try to kill you for real now." And then she smiled that smile I had just found out about and, before I knew it, I was crushing her into a hug, spear and everything.

"What are you doing?" Her voice was muffled and sounded really funny from the shock. Normally, I'm not really into hugging people but I kind of didn't really think things through. "I said we were friends, I didn't say you could touch me."

Clarisse smelled a bit of plums – probably something Silena bought her, since the camp toiletries are not that elaborate and, the funniest thing was that she was so much smaller than me. I mean, clearly she wasn't short, we were about the same height except for, maybe, a few inches but she was smaller. I was so busy picturing her as a sanguinary monster that I sometimes forgot she was, you know, a girl.

"You have two seconds before I use my free hand to throttle you." Ok, part girl, part sanguinary monster. She didn't even wait for the two seconds, she just punched her way out of the hug.

"Alright, I get it." I rubbed my jaw. "I'll act normal. I'm sorry."

"Never mind." She shrugged, while staring at her shoes. "Just don't do that again."

"You called me a friend!" I said one more time, just for the fun of it.

"Don't do that either!" She slapped her forehead.

Then, two things happened:

First, my stomach did this thing that felt like it had just been punched by an icy hand but it still felt good.

And second, while I was still trying to figure number one out, someone shot an arrow at Clarisse and she fell hurt on the ground, unconscious.

"WHAT-THE-HADES!?" And by "Hades" I actually mean a pretty ugly word.

I ran to check if Clarisse was ok and, from behind me, a voice said:

"Ha! I bet you didn't believe me when I said I'd save your life someday, yet here I am." Oh, I should've known saving his life would come back to bite me later. Memphis' blond hair shone golden under the pink sunset as he offered a hand to help me up. "That punch looked like it hurt, sorry I just got here. Beckendorf told me your mission was top secret and refused to let me go looking for you but I came anyway." He smiled at me. "'Cause we are friends."

I seriously need to quit this friendship thing.

"Memphis, what did you do to her?" I asked but tried to not sound too harsh because a) he was just trying to help b) that punch really did hurt a lot and, also, c)he being there made my stomach go back to normal and that was comforting.

"What you mean "what I did"?" He sounded offended. "I bought you time! Don't worry about her health, it's a harmless arrow, it's only slightly poisonous."

I smiled:

"Oh, that's refreshing, I'm glad it's just poison…HOW IS POISON HARMLESS, YOU LUNATIC?"

Memphis rolled his eyes:

"Will you chill out, please? It's not a deadly poison or anything; it's more like a tranquilizer! It's supposed to keep her out of our hair for a few minutes. She's just sleeping heavily." Well, in Clarisse's case, that's "regular sleeping".

I rolled Clarisse's body, using my hand to keep her head supported, and took a good look at the arrow. When I looked up at Memphis again, I spoke with urgency in my voice:

"How much time do you think this gave us?" He smirked:

"I hit her under the ribcage, it should be about eight to fifteen minutes before she wakes up."

"Hm." I considered. " Let's split up, then; we'll need some elaborated evasion techniques or else she'll get us while we are still on the woods and it won't be pretty. She'll know it was the work of a child of Apollo as soon as she sees the arrow and it's not like Beckendorf has done anything to help our cases so she'll be crazy angry."

"She's always crazy angry."

"Yeah, but, believe me, you haven't really seen the worst of it." I sighed, looking down at her body. "You should go first, you'll need advantage."

"What about you?" He sounded genuinely concerned as if less than a week ago he hadn't been more than willing to hand my head on a plate to Beckendorf.

"I'm faster, I'm good at hiding, I'll be fine. You should go, time is running out."

"What about the flag? I thought she'd be guarding it."

"She was a decoy, I'm afraid. The flag must be somewhere else."

"I see."

"Go, Memphis, I'll keep guard. Once you're far enough, I'll follow."

"You sure?"

"Yes, man, I owe you too now." And then, for emphasis, I added: "You really saved me today, dude, you are a good friend, Memphis."

Weirdly enough, for a second there it looked like he could just burst out in tears and I panicked but all he did was smile and nod his head before disappearing among the tall threes.

The poor, naïve bastard.

Once his footsteps were far enough I couldn't hear them – and have in mind that I have some seriously good hearing – I looked down at Clarisse again:

"You can open your eyes now, Meryl, I know you're acting."

She opened them immediately:

"Ugh, you noticed it, then?" She sat down and pulled the arrow from the leather strip on the side of her armor, where it had actually landed. "Poisonous arrows!" She studied it. "The kind of things Apollo cabin has to come up with so they can look like they can actually put up a fight." She looked at me. "Who's your new friend?"

"None of your business." I cut her off and then smirked. "Why pretend the arrow had hit you?"

"Uh, I…" She swallowed saliva nervously and then regained composure. "I figured it'd be quicker to just let him go and get caught on one of Demeter's traps."

"No, you didn't." I chuckled. "That was a nice try but I noticed you tripping on your own legs! You're just trying to cover it up!"

"SWEATPANTS MAKE DODGING ARROWS REALLY HARD!"

I laughed at her. I had seen it in slow motion; she dodged the arrow easily enough but, because she wasn't used to fighting in her pajamas, she kicked her own leg in the process of moving in the air and fell – head first – on the ground.

"I can't believe how far you'd go to keep your reputation."

"You're one to talk." She said rubbing her eyes. "Besides, it wasn't all reputation. " She exhaled. "I actually fell down on a rock and my helmet started resonating really loudly in my ears. I got disoriented and actually did pass out for a couple of seconds."

I found the rock near us.

"Woah, that's a pretty big rock there. You sure you are alright?"

She scowled and stood up with a swift movement; using her legs to pull her up in a jump and fell on her feet, like a cat.

"Oh, for crying out loud, of course I am fine! It takes more than a little pebble to get to me." She gave an arrogant smile that would probably be way more convincing if it hadn't been conveniently followed by a huge streak of blood running down her face from somewhere over her left eye and the way to her chin.

"Clarisse, uh…"

"Say, Chris..." she was still smiling but her eyes were lost. "this ringing noise, do you hear it too?"

And then she passed out for real.

Unbelievable! This girl can defeat a whole gang of demigod eating Cyclopes but throw her a pebble and some sweatpants and – bam; she's unconscious and bleeding. Curse her ADD.

I laid Clarisse on the grass and took her helmet off; her bandana had a huge blood blotch so I took that off too and used the clean part to wipe her face. Then, to get a better look, I took my own helmet as well, got my first aid kit and did what I could. Luckily, it wasn't as bad as it looked; just a small – yet deep – cut over her eyebrow. No concussion, the fainting was probably just a result from standing up too fast to show off.

Karma, clearly.

In an act that, admittedly, wasn't my cleverest ever, I tried slapping her face gently to wake her up. She woke up, alright; with a hook punch straight to my jaw.

She looked a little lost, likely still a little tipsy from her own injuries. She checked everywhere trying to remember where she was 'till she saw me lying on the ground, my hand on my mouth, trying to wipe the blood.

"Oh, I punched you?" She didn't seem very surprised. "I do that, I guess it's a reflex."

"It's ok. I brought this on myself" I said, trying to sit again. I found her eyes staring at me (or in the general area of my position). "What?"

"How do you do it?"

"Do…what?" I was starting to worry she had had brain damage. Gods know we already have enough to handle with a healthy Clarisse.

"Your hair. How does it stay up even after you wore a helmet for so long?"

"Oh, that!" I answered coyly. "There's this girl from Hecate in cabin 11 and I kinda of asked her if…Ouch!" She slapped me. "What was that for?" She grabbed my helmet from the ground and stared at it.

"What did you do to my face?"

"YOU FELL ON A FREAKING ROCK!"

"I know I fell on a rock!" She tried to scowl but couldn't because of the pain, I guess. "I mean this!" She pointed to her forehead.

"What?"

"This!" She pointed again, this time to her reflex on my helmet.

"The band-aid? You slapped me over a band-aid?"

"You know damn well I can't go out like this! It's too humiliating!" I rolled my eyes. "Why didn't you just give me some ambrosia or nectar or anything like that?"

I glared at her.

"Well, for one thing, this is a small cut AND THAT THING COULD BLOW YOU UP, you weirdo!" Then I relaxed. "Besides," I sighed. "That band-aid is special."

She stared at me.

"Special as in…used?" She made a disgusted face.

"No!" I yelled. "Special as in I got it for you."

"You got me a band-aid?" She raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure if I'm offended because it's a sucky gift or because you were walking around with it expecting me to get hurt."

"Will you shut up? You're making me wish I had used a glittery Hello Kitty one and taken pictures." She just froze in absolute shock. "I didn't take pictures."

"You better not." She buffed. "You were saying?"

"Well, back in the Andromeda, I was left taking care of storage for a while, 'till they realized letting Hermes' children there wasn't exactly a good idea. Which is totally prejudiced, if you think about it."

"Did you steal this band-aid?"

"It's prejudiced, regardless!" I said raising my hands. "Anyway, I had to check whatever stuff we got, whether it was new monsters or just regular stuff. This one time, we managed to infiltrate and steal some stuff from Circe's spa and, among these things, there were all this useless magical makeup crap going on. Apparently, it was some special cosmetic line Hecate released. It was themed "Women of Olympus" or something girly like that and it was a bunch of crap."

"I'm bored already and I still want to take this thing off." I made a face and she replied with another.

"But, because I was taking care of storage, I found this magical healing kit named after Penthesilea and I guess they couldn't find any makeup product to match with an Amazonian queen, right? So they made this one magical band-aid. I've checked, it's the only one produced, a real collectible. The box says it can be used forever if you wash it carefully and keep it a dry place. I remembered she was your favorite half-sister, right? And then I stole it." I grabbed my helmet and she lifted her bangs to see it. "See? It has an old drawing of her and it's actually pretty badass. I mean, it will heal you completely in a couple of hours so you don't exactly have to worry about it."

She turned around slowly and faced me.

"Are you going to punch me again?"

"No." It was all she said for a while, and then she just stared at her reflex.

"Hm, it's really no big deal, you know? It only works on small cuts and stuff." I was starting to feel nervous and I didn't know why.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You were in the Andromeda, right?"

"Right."

"Fighting with the Titans and stuff."

"Yes."

"So you grabbed this band-aid."

"Yes."

"Something that could help you all in battle."

"Ugh." Was she about to argue with me over war strategy?

"And you kept it with you?"

"Ok, we get it, I steal, that's bad. Yadda, yadda."

"You kept with you even through the freaking Labyrinth." She kept talking. "And the desert."

"I guess I just forgot it in my pocket."

"You went insane and you got back and you still have it."

"Yes, why?"

"What would you do if when we saw each other again, we were fighting on different sides, Chris?"

Oh, that.

"Make you jealous I had it?" I tried but she just glared at me. "I don't know, Clarisse, I probably just assumed I wouldn't be able to fight against you. I mean, you would probably kick my ass anyway but I wouldn't. I joined the Titans because I trusted Luke, I did it because of my friends in cabin 11, it never occurred to me that, by picking their side, I was going against yours."

"You are pretty dense." She proclaimed matter-of-factly.

"I know. Do you want to take the band-aid off though?"

"Nah." She smiled at her reflection and then at me. "I guess I could keep it. I mean, this thing came out from the Labyrinth better than the two of us, it must be strong."

I could feel my stomach about to do that uncomfortable thing again but, luckily, Silena's voice interrupted us:

"CLARISSE, CLARISSE, CLARISSE!" She was running towards us like an armored cupcake but stopped suddenly as she saw us sitting together on the ground, helmets off. And pointed her fingers from one to the other. "What's going on here? There's something new here."

Clarisse stood up.

"You were yelling my name. Did we win?"

"WHO CARES IF WE WON? CHARLIE ASKED ME OUT!" Silena is just as ADHD as the rest of us, I often forget about that. She was jumping up and down like a maniac and shrieking like a banshee or, because she was a daughter of Aphrodite and still managed to look attractive, like a Disney princess. If Disney princesses ever shrieked, I don't know.

"I care if we won."

"Yeah, yeah, we won, whatever. NOW LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT CHARLIE! IT WAS SO PRETTY AND ROMANTIC AND, LIKE, OK – THERE WAS THIS ONE PART WHEN E THOUGHT HE'D DIE AND GET EATEN BUT THEN HE ASKED ME OUT AND IT WAS GREAT! ALSO, THERE WAS A DRAGON AND…"

Clarisse turned around and managed a sour look in my direction:

"Kill me."

"You keep asking that, I keep ignoring. But we are friends now, friends don't kill each other."

"I'm not sure about that." She said staring at Silena again. "Beauregard, snap out of it and tell me if you are sure we won!"

"Yeah, yeah. We got it, games are over."

"Oh, wonderful." Clarisse said starting to lose the straps of her armor and then pulling out the freaking flag from inside it.

"THAT WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME?"

"No, I just made it happen by magic." She rolled her eyes. "Of course it was; I kinda thought you'd see it when you checked for the arrow but you are that blind." She shrugged.

"But that's against the rules!"

"Is it? Is it really? I never told you it wasn't with me and, as far as I remember, insulting the other team's flag isn't against the rules either, so – let's just call this a grey area."

We exchanged angry glares.

"WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE IGNORING ME? DIDN'T I JUST SAY CHARLIE AND I ARE FINALLY TOGETHER? BE EXCITED, CLARISSE!"

"Not in this lifetime, princess." Clarisse rolled her eyes but Silena cut her off with her hands on her hips, looking angry.

"Oh really? Have we forgotten about that little thing I have that is "oh-so-special" for you?" I had forgotten Clarisse was being blackmailed. And that it was my fault. Oops. "I want a hug and girly jumps! I WANT A JUMPING HUG NOW! I'M THAT HAPPY!"

I chuckled:

"C'mon, Silena, not in a billion years. I mean, I don't care what you have on Clarisse, it's not worth her… OH MY GODS, WHAT DOES SHE HAVE ON YOU, CLARISSE?"

With a huge scowl that didn't leave her face for a second, Clarisse managed to hug Silena, jump three times up and down like a sorority girl and even say a half-heartedly "yay".

"That felt great!" Silena said hugging her once it was over. "You're my best friend ever! Let's discuss what I'm going to wear for the fireworks!" She started pulling Clarisse by her wrist and they left me alone and absolutely in shock.

What the Hades had just happened? And, once again, I don't really mean "Hades".

I was lying on the grass, five minutes later, still dealing with how weird today had been when Clarisse came back with a victory crown on her head and said:

"You wanna go ruin other people's fireworks with me like we used to do every year?"

I smiled.

"Well, you kinda almost killed my date with your spear so, why not?"

"Great." And then she left.

Easy like that. Except not really.

A/N: Don't forget to leave a review. Typing and writing is really hard and stressful and good reviews (unlike, you know, yells of "UPDATE!") are the only payment I get. And it's the one thing that keeps me coming back. Next chapter, like I said, won't be focused on funny a lot but I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy it. X)

Also, I've been relapsing on my review replies and there were some pretty big ones, I'm sorry about that, life's been pretty crazy.

Love,

Thatu/Clichesbullet