the flaw in the logic

Temperance Brennan did not believe in the concept of heartbreak, and so she wondered why she felt as if her heart was honestly breaking into a million pieces.

It wasn't that she didn't love Booth. She often had to chide herself about engaging in surprisingly and embarrassingly romantic fantasies about the two of them together as a couple, and there were too many moments, now happening with increasing frequency, where she couldn't help but allow herself to wonder whether Booth could make her even happier if he was more than just her partner and confidant and closest friend. Brennan knew that it was futile and juvenile to even contemplate a perfectly happy ending or entertain the notion of genuine idealistic love, but if there was one thing that she had learned from Booth, it was that science couldn't always provide answers for everything.

Regardless, Brennan wasn't a dreamer and she didn't gamble blindly, as she had told Booth. She was a scientist in every sense of the word, and she couldn't place so much stock in a theory she wasn't even sure existed, not when there was so much at stake to lose. She was used to people about whom she cared abandoning her, but that didn't make each particular time it happened any easier. She loved Booth, she cared about him, she appreciated him, and she respected him. It was nothing less than the truth, and that was why she could not tell him what he wanted to hear, why she could not give him what he was asking for. She knew that she would do anything for him and that she loved him, but how did she really know that she loved him unconditionally? There was no possible method which she could use to garner evidence, and unless she had evidence, she could not know that she could ever be the person that Booth would need and love for the thirty, forty, fifty years that he wanted. She did not know that she would not eventually break his heart.

What happened when you reached a brick wall? She understood that he would need to move on if she didn't know how to be the right woman for him, but the thought of seeing Booth romantically involved with someone else made her head churn. She could not bear to see Booth move ahead, but she could not give herself to him completely, and yet she wanted him to achieve the happiness that she thought he so deserved. Where did that leave her? It seemed as if there was no conclusion, no matter how much effort she put in to find one. That night, Brennan cried herself to sleep, never having wanted to be a different person so badly.

With Booth's confession finally out in the open, all cards on the table, the natural order of things between them had shifted regardless of Brennan's rejection. It took an entire two weeks after their revealing meeting with Sweets to get a new case, and during that block of time, they had barely spoken to each other. Brennan suspected that Booth had been ignoring her, only speaking to her just enough to be polite, and although his distance stung, she knew she deserved it.

Working together was more difficult and strained than it had ever been. Booth tried to maintain an easy camaraderie, but nearly all of their awkward attempts at conversation eventually faded. It was as if they didn't even know each other—discussions, which were mostly about the case anyway, were stilted and each was seemingly foreign to the other. Brennan missed the Booth that would make her laugh at any given second, that would tell her the most amazing words that surpassed anything she had read in literature or written herself in her novels, that would make her feel like the happiest person in the universe. She had been the one who had asked him if they could still work together, but she was beginning to realize that if this was how things were going to be from then on, it was possible that terminating their partnership would be the most rational choice and would benefit the both of them.

After a disastrous interrogation with the victim's father, both agreed on calling it quits for the night and heading home. Booth's interrogation skills had faltered, his usual dominance and confidence absent, and the father, who had abused his daughter, had taken a great dislike to Brennan, twisting her arm painfully when she pointed out the indications in the bones that proved a childhood of abuse for the victim. They had driven to the victim's apartment together out of routine, but the ride had been almost silent and distinctly uncomfortable. Brennan felt a sharp pain in her abdomen that she told herself was just a result from not eating properly for the last few days.

The radio played softly, and it wasn't until the station cut to commercial that Booth finally broke the tense silence. "He grabbed you pretty hard there. Are you hurt?"

She considered his choice of words, wanting more than anything to tell him that yes, yes she was hurt, and even though she had told him that they couldn't be together and that she knew he had to move on, and that she was a scientist, not a gambler, she was hurting just as badly as he probably was. Please don't look so sad, she had beseeched him, when what she really meant was that she wanted all the same things that he did and couldn't bear to see him break on the outside the exact way she was being torn apart on the inside.

"I'm fine. He didn't hurt me," she said, promptly wincing at the unspoken accusation. It was she who was not enough for Booth and not the other way around, so why was she behaving that way and implying that he had done something wrong? She was the greatest danger to herself, and her disgust had nothing to do with him, but with her own inability to feel like a normal human being. She wasn't capable of being enough for Booth, and yet she was the one making him suffer.

Booth cringed as well, although he kept his eyes determinedly on the road ahead of him. "It just wasn't a good day for this case. I'll tell you what. Neither of us has eaten, and we could both use some fuel. I'll take you to the diner and then I'll drop you off at home, how's that?"

She didn't want to sit with him and eat dinner at their favorite place and pretend that everything was still so close to perfect, teetering on the edge of precision, like it had been, but how could she begrudge him anything at this point? If he wanted her to eat rocks or shave her head, she was almost certain that she would. "All right," she agreed, and she tried to arrange her mouth muscles in a smile.

Brennan ordered a salad and Booth ordered fries and a burger, but she didn't steal any of his fries and he didn't ask for a slice of pie and coax her to try some. Everything was all wrong, and suddenly she was angry, angry that Booth wanted to bring her to their place and taint the last unblemished image she had of them, angry that he was willing to ruin this for her and to destroy what little balance they had left.

"Booth, I don't want this," she burst out heatedly. "I wanted our partnership. I didn't want this pathetic facsimile of what we were before. This is not gratifying in any way. If this is how things will be, I can't be in this partnership anymore—"

"You can have it, Bones," he said immediately. His eyes were still sad, but his edges seemed to soften, and again she marveled at the way that he tried to placate her when she had done the exact opposite. "Whatever you want, you can have it. That's what I've been trying to tell you all along. I just thought that we wanted the same thing."

She wanted to scream from the unfairness of it all. How could he think that she didn't? She was trying to be fair to him, because she cared about his happiness right now more than she cared for her own. "It's not that simple," she choked out, frustrated by the tears that were pooling persistently in her eyes.

Booth didn't move toward her or reach for her hand that was propped on the table, but he stared at her as if he thought he could imprint his words into her skin. "Of course it's not simple, Bones. It's not supposed to be simple. If it was, it wouldn't be so worth having. If it was, it wouldn't have the same meaning."

"I know what you asked for, but I can't give it to you," Brennan explained, bringing her other hand to her cheek to swipe impatiently at her abrupt rush of tears. "And if it means that it will be beneficial for you to make progress with someone else, I understand that, and I will even learn to accept it. If we give this an opportunity, it won't end well and we will lose everything."

"How do you know it will end?" Booth demanded, leaning forward, his expression intensely focused and his voice gruff with frustration and conviction.

"How do you know it won't?" she countered, and the weight of her words slammed the table with an overpowering force. That was the line that they had never been able to see quite clearly no matter how bold it was—he had faith and she didn't. If it was going to always be that way, there was no foundation for a relationship, or maybe even a partnership.

"How do I know? I know because I'm that guy, and I always have been. I know because no matter how different we are, I've been able to love you for years without any strings, without any trivialities. I know because you're not just what I want anymore, Bones, because you've always been that to me. Now you're what I need." His voice broke. "It hurts me that you don't even want to give this a chance."

She could almost hear the cracks developing in her heart, and not for the first time since she had met him, she wished she was not a scientist. "I never meant to hurt you," she whispered unevenly, furious with herself for being unable to stop crying. She knew she had wanted to add something else, but she couldn't remember what it was and she wasn't sure she could even speak coherently anymore, so she stopped, unwilling to look at him.

"I know," she heard him say softly. "I know, Bones."

"I can't make you any promises, and you can't make me any, either. If it turns out that I am not the one you wanted, I would not be able to live with that. And if it turns out that you are not the right one for me, you would not be able to live with that, either. Don't you see why this would not be right? If you can't live with all the outcomes, Booth, you shouldn't go through with the experiment."

Booth shook his head vigorously and he finally reached for her hand, triggering her to look up at him again and notice the fire in his features. "But that's the flaw in your logic, Bones, can't you see that? I can live with that, I can live with failure. I've done it before. What I can't live with, what it kills me to try to live with, is not trying at all and giving up and letting myself lose before I've even tried to play the game." He squeezed her hand, exhaling slowly. "You are a scientist, but you are also Temperance Brennan. You're Bones. Setting us up for failure and never trying, that's not fair to either of us. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts, Bones. You just have to remember that."

"I don't know that I can do that," Brennan murmured, but she held on to his hand firmly, and Booth wondered if that was all the answer he needed from her.

"Try," Booth said, and he smiled when she still didn't let go.

with all we've come to know we work so hard for what?
i don't wanna miss it
just stay close
wait for the sun
learn to live this life
learn to get along
just stay close wait for the stars
until they realign just like the first time
the first time...

Author's Note: Bones does not belong to me. The lyrics at the end are from the song "Close" by Pete Yorn.

I actually thought the 100th episode was amazing, and I'm very disappointed that there are apparently many people who claim that it was so disappointing that they don't want to watch the show anymore. Honestly, after all that Booth and Brennan have been through together, I didn't expect them to get a perfect fairytale ending in one mere episode. Love, if it even really does exist, is not simple. I don't think it would have done their relationship justice if everything was all sunshine and butterflies in one episode. I think Hart Hanson kept both Booth and Brennan in character, and I'm happy that he wrote the episode like he did. It answered many questions and was quite amusing at times. The episode affected me very strongly and I admit that I cried while watching. I hope my story felt realistic and stayed true to the characters without being too corny or cliché. I think "The Parts in the Sum of the Whole" was worth the anticipation and anxiety. I live for a lengthy and interesting Bones discussion, so if you'd like to discuss it with me, please feel free to send me a message.

Thank you for reading! Please review! I would truly appreciate it. xx

Edit: I just fixed a couple of typos. :)