AN: Ahh! It's done! It's finally done. I was beginning to think this day would never come. It's only taken me four months.
Okay, this is for all the people who requested it:
Anna Marcia Gregorio
Maya-chan2007
Laceylou76
Mk (anonymous)
Sunigyrl
Fostersb
A Forgotten Fairy
LokoNicole (anonymous)
roguelover321
unknown (anonymous)
Also, these two tried to help by giving me casting suggestions. I appreciate the thought, but it was the story, not the cast, I was having problems with. Thanks anyway.
TrickQuestion (anonymous)
BabyBeaver
Todd sat on Erik's shoulder, and Erik sat on his horse in the desert. A lone figure moved towards them and when at last he was close enough to see his features, Erik said only two words: "You're late."
"A thousand apologies," replied Scott.
"Excuse me?" Scott said. "Since when do I apologise to Magneto?"
Since I wrote that you did.
"And for that matter, don't you think I'm a little big to be sitting on Buckethead's shoulder?" asked Toad.
Not really, seeing as how Iago is a parrot.
"Can we get on with this?" Magneto asked.
"Do you have it?" Erik asked.
"I had to slit a few throats, but I got it," Scott said, showing him the object. "Uh uh uh. The treasure?"
"And since when do I go around slitting throats?" Scott demanded.
Silence! Trying to tell a story here!
Todd retrieved the object from the obstructive Scott and placed it in Erik's hand. Scott watched as Erik matched it with another one. One the two were joined, they made up a bug that came alive and glowed in the dark of night. It pulled itself out of Erik's hands and flew away.
"After it!" Erik yelled, pushing his horse on.
They ran after the golden trail of light it left behind in it's wake, until at last the bug divided itself once more and landed on the sand. Erik barely pulled up in time, as the mound of sand began to rise and transform into the head of a woman.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Kitty said. "Isn't the Cave of Wonders a tiger head?"
Yep, but this isn't the Cave of Wonders.
"Oh... what is it then?"
"At last!" Erik exclaimed. "After all these years of searching: The Cave of Marvels!"
"Rwak! Cave of Marvels," Todd repeated.
"Now," Erik said, pointing at Scott. "Go in and get me my lamp. The rest of the treasure is yours, but the lamp is mine."
"Uhh, right," Scott replied.
He walked up to the cave and was about to step inside her mouth when she spoke:
"Who dares disturb my slumber?"
"Uhh, it is Scott."
"Know this, only one may enter here, one who's worth lies far within. The diamond in the rough."
Scott looked back at Erik uncertainly.
"What are you waiting for?" Erik demanded. "Go on."
Scott turned back to the cave and stepped inside. When nothing happened, he breath a sigh of relief, only for her mouth to clamp shut around him and drag him down into the desert, screaming.
"What? I'm dead already? This story sucks," Scott muttered.
"Good riddance if you ask me," Gambit said.
"I should have realised being the prince in Rapunzel was just asking to be killed off in this one."
By your own girlfriend, no less. A bit like X3 come to think of it.
"What now?" asked Jean.
Oh, it's not obvious? You're the Cave of Marvels, Jean. Cave of Marvels, Marvel Girl. It works for me.
"But I wouldn't kill Scott!"
The movieverse says otherwise.
Victor pointed to a youth and a monkey running down the street.
"Get him!" he shouted to his guards.
The youth ran to a group of woman, and attempted to hide himself amongst them with a sheet.
"Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't we, Remy?" Kitty teased him.
"Trouble?" Remy repeated. "Nah, you're only in trouble if you get caught."
"Gotcha!" Victor exclaimed, grabbing hold of him.
"I'm in trouble."
"Lies. All lies!" Gambit declared.
"What? You never get in trouble?" Rogue asked.
"I never get caught."
"Remy Hood got thrown in prison, and you also got caught stealing in Rapunzel."
"I'm tired of my name being dragged through the mud."
"Aww," Rogue said, pinching Gambit's cheek. "Has your pride been wounded, Remykins?"
It took some doing, but Remy and his best friend, Kurt the monkey, had not been living on the streets this long without learning how to evade the guards. They found themselves a quiet corner and split the bread that they'd gone to all the trouble of stealing. Just as he was about to take a bite, however, Gambit spotted a young boy going through the rubbish. He sighed softly, then walked slowly over and handed over his share.
"Here," Remy said to Jamie. "Take it."
"Yay!" Jamie cheered. "I get to be in it!"
"I'm the monkey?" Kurt said. "I'm Abu?"
Yes, yes you are.
"You're as agile as a monkey," Kitty giggled.
Meanwhile, in the palace, a richly dressed Prince came storming inside from the gardens. The seat of his pants was missing.
"I've never been so insulted!" Prince Pietro exclaimed.
"Oh, Prince Pietro," said Sultan Charles. "You're not leaving so soon, are you?"
"Good luck marrying her off!"
"I'm a Prince!" Pietro yelled. "With a very short scene!"
"It would be longer if you didn't talk so fast," Wanda teased him.
Sultan Charles headed out to the gardens where the Princess Anna was sitting by the fountain. At her side was her best friend, a tiger named Logan, who had the scraps of Prince Pietro's pants in his mouth.
"Anna," Sultan Charles began, then noticed the scraps when Logan growled at him. "Confound it, Logan! So, this is why Prince Pietro stormed out."
"Oh father," Rogue dismissed. "Logan was just playing with him, weren't you, Logan? You were just playing with that overdressed, self-absorbed Prince Pietro, weren't you?"
"I'm a pet," Logan said disgustedly.
Tigers are awesome though. And they have claws.
"The description of Pietro is right," Rogue giggled.
"Please Anna," Sultan Charles said. "The law says you must be married to a prince by your next birthday. You've only got three more days."
"Psh, whatever," Princess Anna dismissed. "If I get married, I want it to be for love, not because of some stupid law."
"Yes!" Rogue cheered. "Score one for the princesses being forced to marry in fairy tales everywhere."
That night, Princess Anna ran away.
Now it happened that the following morning while Remy and Kurt were enjoying their breakfast that Remy spotted a beautiful young woman walking through the marketplace. He quickly became transfixed by the look of fascination and wonder on her face as she passed by the many stalls. The woman was of course, Princess Anna, who had never been outside the palace walls before and was amazed by all she could see.
As she approached an apple stall, Princess Anna could see Jamie trying to reach for an apple from behind the stall-owner's back. He looked so small and skinny that she took pity on him.
"Aww," she said. "You must be hungry."
She picked up the apple he had been reaching for and gave it to him.
"There you go."
Naturally that was the very moment that the owner saw them and he glowered at her as Jamie ran off.
"I hope you were planning on paying for that," he said.
"Pay?" Princess Anna repeated. "I'm sorry, I don't have any money."
"Nobody steals from me," he went on, pulling out his sword and grabbing Princess Anna's hand.
"Please, if you just let me go to the palace, I can get some from the Sultan."
"Do you know what the penalty is for stealing?"
Princess Anna's eyes widen in shock as she realised he meant to cut off her hand. She tried to pull away when Remy stood between them.
"Thanks you kind sir, I'm so glad you found her," Remy said and grabbed hold of Princess Anna. "I've been looking all over for you?"
"What are you doing?" Princess Anna hissed.
"Just play along," Remy whispered back.
"You know this girl?" the apple-seller asked.
"Sadly, yes. She is my sister. She's a little crazy."
"She said she knew the Sultan."
"She thinks the monkey is the Sultan."
Kurt looked startled as Princess Anna looked at him, and quickly knelt to the ground.
"Oh wise Sultan, how may I serve you?" she said.
"Why haven't you cast anyone as the apple-seller?" Kitty asked.
I couldn't decide. I'm already using Logan and Sabretooth. There just wasn't anyone who seem to fill the part.
"Selling fruit," Sabretooth sneered. "Wouldn't catch me doing that."
While Remy was busy getting Princess Anna out of her scrape, the royal vizier, Erik and Todd were busy in Erik's secret chamber, putting together a spell.
"There he is, Todd," Erik said gleefully, pointing to the image of Remy. "There's our diamond in the rough: the only one that can enter the Cave of Marvels."
"I'm going to get into so much trouble for this, but I can't resist," Gambit said and grinned at Jean. "I'll enter the 'Cave of Marvels' all right."
Scott put his hand to his visor while Jean blushed and ducked her head.
"Hey," Rogue objected, whacking Gambit's arm.
"So, this is where you live?" Princess Anna asked, looking around at the ramshackle building.
"Yeah, it's not much," Remy replied as he pulled open what passed for a curtain. "But it has a great view. Palace looks amazing huh?"
"Oh..." Princess Anna replied, looking away. "Yeah, it's looks great."
"Sometimes I wonder what it might be like to live there. Having servants and stuff."
"Sure, people who tell you where to go and how to dress."
"Better than living here. Always scraping for food and ducking guards."
"You're not free to make your own choices."
"Sometimes you just feel so..."
"You're just..."
"Trapped," they said together in perfect unison, and looked at each other with a smile.
"Aww, so sweet," Kitty sighed. "I love this movie."
"Could you have stolen any more of the dialogue, Chellerbelle?" Rogue asked cynically.
Well, yes but I chose not to.
"Here you are!" Victor declared, pointing a finger at the pair.
"They're after me," Remy and Princess Anna said together, then look at each other: "They're after you?"
Remy stood on the window sill and held his hand out to Princess Anna.
"Do you trust me?"
"What?"
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes..."
"Then jump!"
Remy hauled them off the ledge. Down they plummeted, landing in a pile of salt. But as they ran down the street they realise they were surrounded and Victor apprehended Remy with much glee.
"It's the dungeon for you, boy," Victor said, well pleased.
"Unhand him!" Princess Anna demanded. "By order of the Princess."
There was stunned silence as Victor and his guards looked at her and bowed, forcing Remy to do the same as well.
"Princess Anna?" Victor asked. "What are you doing outside of the palace?"
"That's none of your concern. Unhand him."
"I'm sorry Princess, but my orders come from Erik. You'll have to take it up with him."
"Believe me," Princess Anna said dangerously. "I will."
"Hmm, precious ambivalence," Gambit sighed. "To be annoyed that I've been captured or to be very turned on by dangerous Roguey."
"I'd go with the latter if I was you," Rogue said, taking the liberty of straddling his lap.
Gambit wrapped his arms around her and they kissed each other deeply.
"Here they go again," Jean said disgustedly.
"Erik!" Princess Anna demanded as she stormed into Erik's quarters.
"Oh uh," Erik said, quickly shutting the door to his secret chamber behind him. "Princess, how may I be of service to you?"
"The guards just took a boy from the market on your orders."
"The boy was a criminal."
"What was his crime?"
"Why, kidnapping the princess, of course."
"He didn't kidnap me! I ran away."
"Oh dear, I wish I had known," Erik said. "Sadly the boy's sentence has already been carried out."
"What sentence?"
"Death."
"No!"
"By beheading."
"Which head?" Gambit asked cheekily.
"I don't know why you're concerned," Logan drawled. "You can't seem to live without either of them."
While Princess Anna was busy taking the matter up with her father, Remy was chained up in the dungeon. It wasn't until Kurt fortuitous arrival that Remy was able to be freed from the shackles holding him against the wall. After all, he was virtually shirtless and had no where to keep his lockpicks in easy reach of his fingers.
"Thanks Kurt," Remy said.
"Ooh virtually shirtless and chained to the wall," Gambit said to Rogue. "Does that combination turn you on, ma chere?"
"I do not want to hear the answer to that question," Kitty exclaimed. "In fact, I totally didn't even want to hear the question. Great. Now I'm like, going to have nightmares for a month."
"I'm sure Piotr will glad protect you from the nightmares."
Piotr blushed and looked away.
"Hey, what about me?" Lance piped up. "I can protect you from nightmares better!"
"I have an idea, why don't you both do it?" Gambit suggested. "Lance on one side, Piotr on the other..."
"Remy?" said Rogue.
"Oui?"
"Has anyone ever told you that you have issues?"
"Frequently."
"That some interesting talents you have there," said a voice from the shadows of the cell.
Remy and Kurt looked over and saw an old man.
"Who are you?" Remy asked.
"You may call me Joseph," he replied.
"Joseph, huh?" Gambit snickered. "Hi Mags, how are you today?"
Magneto rolled his eyes.
"I'm a lowly prisoner like yourself," Joseph went on. "But together, perhaps we can be more."
"I'm listening," Remy replied cautiously.
"There's a cave, boy. A cave of marvels. Filled with treasure beyond your wildest dreams."
"Oh really?" Remy drawled. "Why tell me?"
"I need a young man with strong legs and back to go in after it, of course," Joseph replied.
"Uh huh. One problem. It's out there, and we're in here."
Joseph chuckled and put his hand to the wall, triggering a secret passage to open.
"Things aren't always what they seem. Do we have a deal?"
"No absolutely not," Gambit joked. "I'm just going to stay in this dungeon until I rot."
"Chained to the wall too?" Rogue asked, batting her eyes.
"I knew it turned you on."
Sometime later, back out in the desert:
"Who dares disturb my slumber?" demanded the Cave of Marvels.
"It's me, Remy," Remy said.
"Hmm," considered the Cave, inspecting Remy carefully. "Proceed. Touch nothing but the lamp."
"Jean checked me out!" Gambit declared.
"I did not," Jean objected.
"It's okay Jean," Rogue nodded. "You can look, but you can't touch."
"I don't know, Roguey," Gambit snickered. "She just invited me inside her."
"You have the single most dirtiest mind I have ever come across," Rogue sighed.
"Wanna give me a bath?"
"Remember boy," said Joseph. "First bring me the lamp, then you shall have your reward."
Remt and Kurt walked down into the cave. Once they got down the long stair way, they emerged into a cavern full of treasure. Kurt looked around at the mounds of gold and jewels with wide-eyed pleasure. He reached out to touch some and -
"Kurt!" Remy scolded. "Don't touch anything! C'mon, we've got to find that lamp."
"You know," Kurt said, "I'm not really all that materialistic. Shouldn't Remy be the one after the shiny stuff? He's the thief."
"Keep your eye on the prize, mon ami," Gambit said, nodding sagely. "The trick to a successful heist and not getting caught? Don't get greedy."
It was at that point that a beautiful carpet picked herself up from the floor, having been awakened by the presence of the strangers. She followed Remy and Kurt down through the caverns and eventually got close enough to Kurt to pull his tail. As soon as Kurt turned around though, the carpet played dead. Kurt looked around, failed to see anything suspicious, and continued to follow Remy, grumbling all the while.
The carpet stealthily flew after them again, and once again pulled Kurt's tail. This time, Kurt spotted her, screeched and went running to Remy.
"Kurt! What the..." Remy objected as Kurt climbed all over him, and eventually turned around. "A magic carpet?"
The carpet picked up Kurt's little hat from the floor, and tentatively flew over to give it back to Kurt. Kurt snatched it back and scolded her. Forlornly, the carpet began to fly away.
"Hey," Remy said. "Come back. We won't hurt you."
Kurt grumbled.
"Actually we could use your help," Remy went on determinedly. "See, we're trying to find this lamp."
The carpet did a little happy dance and led the way.
"I hate it when people pull my tail," Kurt grumbled.
"Who's the carpet?" Kitty asked. "We know it's a girl."
Storm is.
"Me?" Storm asked, surprised.
Sure, why not? You can fly and you don't feel the need to ramble on. Unlike some people I could mention.
Kurt sighed dramatically. "I can't believe you pulled my tail."
Remy, Kurt and Ororo entered a large chamber. Stepping stones paved their way across a pool of lava to a stair and at the top of the stair was the coveted lamp. Remy got started on the stepping stones and made his way across. While Kurt and Ororo waited, Kurt spied a massive ruby on display.
Forgetting Remy's instructions, Kurt walked over to the ruby, his arms outstretched. He reached out to touch it the same time Remy made it to the top of the stair and the same time Remy picked up the lamp, Kurt picked up the ruby.
"Infidels!" cried the Cave of Marvels. "You have touched the forbidden treasure!"
"Yeah," Scott said smugly. "That's what you get for going inside my girlfriend."
"She invited me," Gambit replied cheekily.
"Boys, boys," Jean began.
"I know, I know," said Gambit. "There's plenty of you to go around."
"Hey!" Jean objected.
"You know," Wanda mused. "It wasn't that long ago you were objecting to Rapunzel because Jean was your daughter and now you're making sexual innuendo, Remy? There's a few choice things that could be said about that."
"But Jean isn't my daughter - thank goodness for that - in this story, so I'll make all the innuendo I want," Gambit nodded.
"I'll make some innuendo in a minute," Rogue said dangerously.
Ororo flew into action. Literally. First she collected Kurt who was closest and dropped the ruby in his horror, then she flew after Remy who was running down the stairs. The stepping stones in the lava disappeared, leaving Remy trapped, but Ororo got to him just in time.
"In fact," Gambit said cheekily, "you could say she swept me off my feet."
You're just on a roll today, aren't you?
"Oui."
Ororo hightailed it to the mouth of the cave as fast she could fly. The stair crumbled beneath them and just as they approached the exit, a large rock fell down on her. Remy only just grabbed the ledge in time to prevent himself from tumbling to his death. Kurt clung onto him for dear life.
"Help me up," Remy said to Joseph, who stood at the entrance.
"Did you get the lamp?" Joseph demanded.
"Yeah but -"
"First give me the lamp."
"So that should have been Aladdin's first clue that Joseph - I mean Jafar - was going to stab him in the back," Gambit said.
"Not too bright, is he?" Rogue teased him.
"Of course, he does get the girl in the end..."
Although he was precariously hanging onto the ledge, Remy managed to hold out the lamp to Joseph, who snatched it up.
"Yes!" Joseph exulted. "After all these years of searching! It's mine! Finally mine!"
"Watch as Magneto does the happy dance," Gambit said. "This is a very rare sight."
"Watch as Gambit keeps his mouth shut," Magneto deadpanned. "It's a miracle of unfathomable proportions."
Gambit laughed.
"And now," said Joseph, turning on Remy who was struggling to pull himself up, "you shall have your reward."
He pulled out his dagger and attempted to stab Remy, but Kurt came to the rescue, biting Joseph's arm. Joseph cried out in pain and threw Kurt at Remy. The force cause Remy to let go and down they plummeted as the cave closed shut.
"Eww, Magneto germs," Kurt joked. "I need to go brush my teeth."
"And then throw away the brush," Rogue added with a grin.
Meanwhile on the surface, Erik laughed to himself as he pulled off his "Joseph" disguise. He reached into his pocket for his lamp...
But it wasn't there!
"Nooooo!" Erik wailed in anguish.
"Heh, reminds me of the time he got owned by Apocalypse," Pyro said with a giggle. "Which reminds me, I have to watch that video again sometime."
"What video?" Magneto asked.
"Umm... nothing?"
Fortunately, Ororo had pulled herself free of the rock that had pinned her down and was able to catch Remy and Kurt on their way down.
"Great, just great," Remy said. "Now we're trapped in here."
He shook his fist at the ceiling - so far up it was black. Kurt followed suit.
"Two-faced son of a jackal," he said, then sighed.
"In fact," Gambit went on. "That should have been the other clue that something suss was going on. If Mags - okay Joseph - had a way out of the prison, why was he still in there?"
"Yet it took you this long to figure that one out?" Rogue teased him.
"I was too busy laughing at Mag's alias."
"I wish I'd gotten a better look at that lamp," Remy said.
"Ta da!" said Kurt, producing the lamp.
"Where was he hiding that?" Gambit asked.
Giggling followed.
"Thanks Kurt. Hmm," Remy said as he inspected the lamp. "There seems to be something written on it... but I can't quite make it out."
Remy rubbed at the lamp attempting to clear away the dirt that obscured the words. Suddenly the lamp began to shake up, even glow. It rocked it's away out of Remy's hands, falling to the floor even as smoke poured from the spout. More and more smoke appeared, the cloud getting bigger and bigger until it took solid form:
"Oy!" exclaimed John. "Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck!"
"All right!" Pyro exulted. "I'm Genie!"
Pyro then proceeded to do a little happy dance.
"Whoa," said John as he twisted his head around. "Does it feel good to be outta there! It's good to be back, ladies and gentleman. What's your name?"
"Uhh, Remy," Remy replied.
"Remy!" John exclaimed like it was the most amazing thing he'd heard all day.
"Probably was," Gambit said. "I am pretty amazing."
"Nothing to do with being cooped up all alone in a lamp for ten thousand years," Rogue commented dryly.
Ororo flew up then and waved with her tassel.
"Stormy! Haven't seen you for a few millennia!" John exclaimed.
"Hey, that's my nickname for Stormy," Gambit objected. "I'm the only one allowed to call her that."
"Remy," Storm said patiently, "I don't even want you calling me that."
"Hang on a second here... who are you?" Remy asked.
"Me?" John asked pointing to himself. "Why, I'm the Genie of the lamp! Right here direct from the lamp, for your enjoyment; wish fulfillment."
"Wish fulfillment?" Remy questioned.
"Three wishes to be exact. And ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes," John said sternly. "That's it - three. Un, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds."
"Do I get to sing now?" Pyro asked eagerly.
Uhh, no.
"Aww, but... I wanna sing!" Pyro said with a pout. "ColdFusion180 let me sing a song from Aladdin. Actually... as I recall, Remy was cast as Aladdin then too."
Well, that was ColdFusion180's story so - wait, how do you know about that?
"Oh well, when the New Mutants were busy with Little Red Riding Hood, Pyro and Piotr and I decided to read all of ColdFusion180's one-shots," Gambit explained. "They're really funny."
Okay, let's get back to the story before my brain explodes from the idea of characters from fanfiction going out and reading other fanfiction.
"Like that hasn't been done before," Remy scoffed.
BANG! Ow, my head.
"So what'll be?" John asked.
"You're going to grant me any three wishes I want?" Remy asked skeptically.
"Well... almost," John replied. "There are a few provisos."
"Like?"
"Rule number one, I can't kill anybody, so don't ask," John said. "Rule number two, I can't make anyone fall in love with anyone else. Rule number three, I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture, I don't like doing it!"
"Ah, provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes?" Remy said scornfully. "Some all powerful genie. Can't even bring people back from the dead. I don't know, Kurt, he probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like we're gonna have to find a way out of here -"
"Excuse me?" John said angrily. "Are you lookin' at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up, did you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you're walkin' out on me? I don't think so, not right now. You're gettin' your wishes, so sit down!"
Startled by John's sudden temper, both Remy and Kurt abruptly sat down on Ororo.
"In case of emergency," John said cheerfully, sitting down behind them and growing additional arms, "the exits are here, here, here, here, here, here, anywhere! Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet. Weeee'rrrrrreee...outta here!"
"You're swiping dialogue from the Disney movie again," Rogue said.
What can I say? It's hard to come up with something better than Robin Williams. He does do a very good Genie. Besides, I'm having enough trouble with this story as it is.
"I cannot believe this," Sultan Charles exploded. "This is an outrage, Erik."
"I humbly apologise, your Majesty," Erik replied. "I assure you, it won't happen again."
"No, it won't," Sultan Charles said firmly. "From now on, you will discuss the sentencing of prisoners with me before they are beheaded."
"My apologies to you too, Princess," Erik said.
"At least some good will come of me being forced to marry," Princess Anna said darkly. "When I am Queen I will have the power to get rid of you."
"Actually, wouldn't I be a Sultana, rather than a Queen?" Rogue asked thoughtfully. "Isn't that the female equivalent of a Sultan?"
"You want to be a dried grape?" asked Kitty.
"Good point."
"When I am Queen I will have the power to get rid of you," Todd mocked as they watched Sultan Charles in the palace gardens trying to talk to Princess Anna about marriage. "I can't believe we're stuck sucking up to them for the rest of our lives."
"No," Erik corrected. "Just until the Princess marries, and then we'll be exiled... or beheaded."
Erik and Todd looked at each other and pulled a face, each holding their necks in horror.
"Wait a second!" Todd said. "What if... what if you married the Princess? Then you'll become the Sultan!"
"Hmm," Rogue said, "would this make Magneto a Black Widower?"
"Heh," Gambit said. "Mags is a gold digger."
"I did always wonder where Magneto got all his funding from," Piotr mused.
Magneto just rolled his eyes in disdain.
Ororo came to a stop in the middle of a lush oasis.
"Wellllll," John said smugly as he floated over the sand. "How'd you like that? Didn't think I could do it! Ha!"
"Oh you sure showed me," Remy replied smugly. "Now, about my three wishes..."
"Do my ears deceive me?" John asked. "By my count you're down by one, mate."
"Oh no," Remy said. "I never actually wished to get out of the cave. You did that on your own."
John gaped at him.
"Well I feel sheepish," John replied. "But no more freebies."
"Yeah I would definitely do that," Gambit said smugly.
"Con artist," Rogue said.
Gambit chuckled wickedly.
"Fair enough," said Remy. "So... three wishes. They have to be something good... What would you wish for?"
"Me?" John asked, pointing at himself. "No one's ever asked me that before. Well I..."
"What?"
"No, no, don't worry about it."
"Oh no, you can't do that," Remy said. "Now I'm even more curious."
"Freedom," John admitted finally.
"Freedom?" Remy asked. "You're a prisoner?"
"It's all part-and-parcel of the whole genie gig," John said then enhanced himself: "Phenomenal cosmic powers!" and shrunk himself down into his lamp: "Itty bitty living space."
"John, that's terrible," Remy said.
"But, oh to be free," John said wistfully as he emerged from his lamp. "Not to have to go 'Poof! What do you need? Poof! What do you need? Poof! What do you need?' To be my own master, such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world! But what am I talking about, here? Let's get real. It's not gonna happen."
"Why not?"
"The only way I get outta this is if my master wishes me out. So you can guess how often that's happened."
"I'll do it. I'll set you free," Remy said.
"Uh huh, yeah suuuuure," John replied skeptically.
"No, really, I promise. After I make my first two wishes, I'll use my third wish to set you free," Remy said seriously, holding out his hand.
"Well, here's hopin'," John replied. "Okay, let's make some magic! So how 'bout it. What is it you want most?"
"I already have what I want most," Gambit said as he wrapped his arms tightly around Rogue.
"Aww, well, aren't you just so sweet?" Rogue replied with a giggle, resting her head on his shoulder.
"Well, there's this girl -" Remy began.
"I can't make anybody fall in love, remember?" John reminded him.
"Yeah, I know," Remy replied ruefully. "Not that it would make a difference anyway. She's the princess, so she can only marry a... Say, can you make me a prince?"
"I could..." John said slyly. "Is that an official wish?"
"John, I wish for you to make me a prince."
"Yay," Kitty cheered.
"See?" Pyro said. "I got smart. I clarified that it was a real wish first."
"Very good, Pyro. You're learning," Gambit said and patted him on the head.
"Your Majesty," said Erik. "I believe I have found a solution to the problem with your daughter."
"Oh indeed?" asked Sultan Charles.
"Yes, ahem, right here," Erik replied as he unraveled a scroll. "It says here that if the Princess has not chosen a suitor by the appointed time, then the Sultan shall choose for her."
"But Anna hated all those suitors," Sultan Charles pointed out.
"If in the event that a suitable prince cannot be found, then the Princess shall marry... oh my isn't this interesting?"
"What?" asked Sultan Charles.
"The Royal Vizier," Erik replied in amazement. "Why... that would be me."
"You?" Sultan Charles questioned. "But I was certain the law said only a prince could marry a princess."
"Desperate times call for desperate measures," Erik answered as he set the scroll aside and pulled out his Staff of Mesmero. "You will order the princess to marry me."
"I will order the princess to... but you're so old..."
"Got that right," Rogue muttered.
"I thought it was the pot calling the kettle black myself," Gambit said with a grin at the Professor.
Professor Xavier and Magneto looked at each other.
"Kids these days," said Magneto.
"Indeed," the Professor agreed.
"The princess will marry me," Erik insisted.
This time the command was interrupted by a noise outside and Sultan Charles hurried to the window to see what was happening. Indeed it was hard to miss the parade of people coming down the main street. Guards, servants, dancers, birds and other animals were marching (or dancing, or being carried) towards the palace. Atop of an elephant (who was Kurt transformed), was a young man, proclaimed by the crier to be Prince Rembrant.
Sultan Charles applauded as the procession neared and had the palace doors opened to him, despite Erik's protests. Also Erik succeed in keeping the bulk of the procession outside, Prince Rembrant made it inside.
"Your Majesty," said Remy. "I am Prince Rembrant. I have journeyed from afar to seek your daughter's hand."
"Of course, I'm delighted to meet you," said Sultan Charles. "This is my royal vizier, Erik. He's delighted too."
"Ecstatic," Erik replied dryly. "Just where did you say you were from?"
"Thievenheim," Gambit joked.
Rogue giggled.
"Why does that name ring a bell?" asked Storm.
"That's the place I was prince of in Cinderella," Gambit replied.
"Anna will like this one," Sultan Charles said as Princess Anna quietly entered the room. "I'm sure of it."
"Your Majesty," said Erik. "I must intercede on Anna's behalf. This boy is no different from the others."
"On the contrary," Remy replied. "I am Prince Rembrant. Just let her meet me. I will win your daughter."
"Yeah, that's sounds typically arrogant of you," Rogue said.
"You love me," Gambit replied cheerfully.
"I hate that you're right."
Gambit chuckled.
"How dare you!" Princess Anna exclaimed.
Sultan Charles, Erik and Remy all looked over at Princess Anna with shame-faced expressions.
"All of you standing around to decide my future?" she went on furiously. "I am not a prize to be won!"
"Rogue and Jasmine share a bad temper too," Kitty said.
"Hot temper," Gambit corrected cheekily. "Very, very hot."
"I don't know what to do," said Remy that evening in the palace gardens. "She won't even talk to me."
"I have a brilliant idea!" John declared. "Tell her the truth."
"What? And tell her I'm just a street rat? She'll just laugh at me," Remy replied.
"Yeah, that's 'cause you're a swamp rat, not a street rat," Rogue said. "Of course I'll laugh at you."
Gambit chuckled.
Princess Anna was lounging on her bed when she heard someone call her name. Logan growled towards the balcony.
"Who's there?" she asked.
"It's me - erm, it is I, Prince Rembrant," Remy said as Princess Anna peered out the curtains.
"I do not want to see you," Princess Anna informed him darkly.
"No, please, Princess," Remy said, attempting to close the distance between them. "Give me a chance."
Logan growled again and intercepted Remy.
"Umm, down kitty," Remy said.
Remy attempted to fend off Logan with his turban.
Logan raised an eyebrow at Gambit.
"Down kitty?" Logan repeated.
"I didn't write the script," Gambit replied with a shrug. "Besides, we all know Sabes is the kitty-cat."
"Hey!" Kitty objected. "I resent that remark."
Sabretooth growled at the lot of them.
"Wait," said Princess Anna, frowning at the sight of Remy without his turban. "Do I know you?"
"Who me? No," Remy replied nervously. "We only just met today remember?"
"Yeah," she said wistfully as she looked away. "I guess so."
"Aww is Roguey a little love-sick?" Gambit teased.
"Aww is Remy asking for a punch in the eye?" Rogue retorted.
"No, Remy was asking if Roguey was love-sick," Gambit replied with a grin.
"Enough about you," advised John in form of a bee. "Talk about her. She's smart, fun, the hair, the eyes, anything! Pick a feature."
"Umm, Princess Anna? You're very... beautiful," Remy said.
"Is that the best he can come up with?" Gambit asked disgustedly.
"That 'he'," Logan said, "is you."
"Please. The girl is obviously not interested in guys who compliment her appearance. Just how many suitors has she gone through? She already knows she's beautiful - heck she even yelled at them earlier that she wasn't a prize to be won. Therefore the intelligent thing to do would have been to do one of the smart or fun compliments and from there delve into a more intellectual conversation, or at least one with more depth and substance than appearance."
Everyone stared at him. Gambit looked back, raising his eyebrows at the silence.
"What?" he asked finally.
"So, Swamp Rat," Rogue said, "just how do you justify complimenting me on my appearance all the time?"
"Aww chere," Gambit replied grandly. "Everyone already knows you're smart and you kick ass. You needed to know you were desirable too."
"Hmm," said Princess Anna as she sauntered over. "I'm rich too, you know."
"Yeah," Remy replied, finding himself lost in Princess Anna's eyes.
"The daughter of a sultan."
"I know."
"A fine prize for any prince to marry."
"Uh, right. Right. A prince like me."
"Right, a prince like you. And every other stuffed shirt, swaggering, peacock I've met!" Princess Anna snapped at him before slapping him across the face with his own turban. "Go jump off a balcony!"
As Princess Anna began to stalk back to her room, John flew around Remy's face.
"Stop her! Stop her!" John said. "Do you want me to sting her?
"Buzz off!" Remy hissed at him.
"Okay, fine. But remember: bee yourself!" John insisted.
"Yeah, right," Remy muttered.
"What?" Princess Anna asked, having overheard this last remark.
"Uhh, you're right," Remy said quickly, hoping to save the situation. "You aren't just some prize to be won. You should be free to make your own choice. I'll go now."
He turned dejectedly and stepped off the balcony.
"No!" Princess Anna exclaimed.
"Aww you do care, chere," Gambit said.
"Goodness knows why," Rogue teased him.
"What?" asked Remy, his head appearing above the railing.
"How?" Princess Anna asked, but even as the word came out of her mouth, Remy floated up on Ororo.
"Magic carpet," Remy explained with a smile. "Ororo, meet Princess Anna. Princess Anna, this is Ororo."
"Wait, how do we know the carpet's name is Ororo anyway?" asked Gambit
John told you off screen.
"Oh right."
"A pleasure," said Princess Anna.
"You, uhh, wouldn't want to go for a ride, would you?" Remy asked.
"A ride? Is it safe?"
"Oh I'll take you for a ride all right," Gambit declared, then patted his pocket. "And I've got all the safety gear right here."
"Remy!" Rogue exclaimed.
"Sure," Remy replied and held out his hand to her. "Do you trust me?"
Princess Anna paused, having a sense of deja vu, and lifted her hand to take his offered one.
"Yes."
Ororo took off into the sky as soon as Princess Anna was settled.
"Aww it's their first date," Kitty said with a giggle.
"I've always wanted to fly," Rogue mused.
"Pity you never got to absorb Ms Marvel hein?" Gambit asked.
"Who?" Rogue asked.
"Never mind. Long story."
"Ooookay."
At the peak of the evening, Remy and Princess Anna settled on a roof top to enjoy a display of fireworks.
"It's all so magical," Princess Anna said.
"Yeah," Remy agreed.
Princess Anna looked at him thoughtfully and then said slyly: "It's a shame Kurt had to miss this."
"Nah," Remy dismissed. "He hates fireworks. He doesn't really like flying either."
"Sprung!" Rogue said with a smirk.
"If that was really me, I'd be embarrassed," Gambit said.
"Umm, that is," Remy stammered, abruptly realising his slip. "Oh no."
"Ah ha!" Princess Anna said triumphantly. "You are the boy from the market. I knew it. Why did you lie to me?"
"Because trying to get Gumbo over here to speak the truth is like trying to get a decent meal out of Kitty," Logan said.
"Hey, my cooking isn't that bad," Kitty objected.
"Did you think I was stupid?" Princess Anna demanded. "That I wouldn't figure it out?"
"No. I mean, I hoped you wouldn't," Remy replied, then realised what he said and added quickly: "No, that's not what I meant."
"Who are you? Tell me the truth."
"The truth? The truth...the truth is...I sometimes dress as a commoner to escape the pressures of palace life," Remy said. "But I really am a prince!"
Princess Anna was silent for a moment. "Why didn't you just tell me?"
"Well, you know, Royalty going out into the city in disguise. It sounds a little strange, don't you think?"
"Not that strange," she replied with a slight smile.
"I give him points for quick thinking," Gambit said. "Although he would do better if he didn't stammer so much."
"Well, I have to take points off Jasmine," Rogue said. "She didn't question how he got away from Jafar."
"Hmm, good point, cherie."
Afterwards, Ororo flew them back home. Princess Anna bade Remy goodnight and then Ororo and Remy headed back into the garden. It was there that Victor and his guards grabbed him. They tied him up, knocked him out.
It was the sudden emergence in water that woke Remy up. There was a rock tied to his feet and try as he might, he couldn't free himself. Deeper and deeper he sank. He could feel his lungs burning as as he was giving up hope he spied his turban - and the lamp sitting inside. Urgently, Remy attempted to swim towards it, which was no mean feet with both his hands and legs bound.
Unfortunately, he passed out before he could get to the lamp.
Fortunately, his impact on the sand was enough to budge the turban - and more importantly - caused the lamp to slip from the turban and slip down his Remy's hands. The slightest rub was all that was needed to alert John.
"Why am I under water?" Pyro demanded. "I hate water! It keeps putting my fires out."
Because that's what happened in the movie.
"Hmph."
"Remy? Remy! Snap out of it!" John urged, giving Remy a shake. "You can't cheat on this one. I can't help you unless you make a wish. You have to say 'John, I want you to save my life'."
John looked at Remy anxiously, but all that happened was that Remy head drifted up slightly, then fell.
"I'll take that as a yes."
"I always liked that part," Kitty said with a giggle.
"I'm just glad to be out of the water," said Pyro.
One of the two doors to Princess Anna's room opened and she looked up to see Sultan Charles standing there.
"Anna," he said, "I have chosen a husband for you."
"What?" Princess Anna questioned.
"You will wed Erik," Sultan Charles said.
It was then that the second door opened to reveal Erik standing there, a smug smile on his face.
"What? No!" Princess Anna objected. "Father, I choose Prince Rembrant."
"Prince Rembrant left," Erik dismissed.
"Better check your crystal ball again, Erik," came Remy's voice from behind.
"Prince Rembrant!" Princess Anna exclaimed.
"Tell them the truth," Remy demanded, "you tried to have me killed."
"Now why would I do a thing like that?" asked Erik as he maneuvered his Staff of Mesmero around to focus it on Sultan Charles. "He's obviously lying."
"Obviously lying," Sultan Charles repeated obediently.
"Father, what's wrong with you?" asked Princess Anna.
"I know what's wrong," Remy said.
He snatched the Staff of Mesmero away from Erik and smashed it on the floor.
"Figures," said Mesmero. "My only appearance in any of these stories, and I'm an inanimate object. An inanimate object that gets destroyed."
"Well, I haven't even been in it at all," said Mastermind. "Consider yourself lucky. Apocalypse hasn't been in it either."
So many characters...
"Your HIghness," Remy said, holding out the now broken staff. "Erik has been controlling you with this."
"What?" Sultan Charles exploded and turned on Erik. "You traitor!"
"Your Majesty, all of this can be explained," Erik said hurriedly.
"Guards! Guards!" Sultan Charles called. "Arrest Erik!"
There was a flash of smoke even as the guards appeared, and when it passed, Erik had vanished.
"Find him!" Sultan Charles demanded. "Search everywhere!"
"Anna, are you all right?" asked Remy.
"Yes, I'm fine," Princess Anna replied.
"I can't believe this! Erik, my most trusted adviser after all these years I..." Sultan Charles trialled off as he remembered something that was said earlier: "Anna? You've finally chosen a suitor?"
Princess Anna nodded. "Yes, father."
"Yes!" Sultan Charles cheered. "You brilliant boy! I could kissed you - oh but I won't, I'll leave that to my - You two will be wed at once. Yes, and you will be happy and propserous and one day, my boy, you will be sultan."
"Sultan?" Remy repeated.
"Yes, a fine upstanding youth like yourself, a person of your unimpeachable moral character is exactly what this kingdom needs!"
"Unimpeachable moral character?" Logan repeated with a smirk.
"Just goes to show that the Sultan isn't a very good judge of character," Gambit replied cheerfully. "Or he's just too trusting. I mean, c'mon, Jafar was fooling him for years."
Meanwhile, Erik had escaped to his secret chamber. As soon as the door close, he began to laugh.
"Umm, did I miss something?" asked Todd. "Or have the constant string of failures made you crack? Hello? Erik? Get a grip!"
"Prince Rembrant is nothing but that miserable street rat, Remy," Erik said, remembering how he's seen the lamp in Remy's turban as it dangled from his belt. "He has the lamp."
"Why that miserable -"
"And you are going to relieve him of it."
The following day, Remy wandered aimlessly around the palace gardens, trying to figure out what to do about this mess. He was only interested in Princess Anna, not becoming the sultan. He sighed and his fingers grazed the lamp. John popped out all excited.
"Hurrah! Hail the conquering hero!" John cheered.
Remy didn't reply and John watched confused as Remy continued walking away despondently towards his room.
"So Remy," John said, slinging his arm across his shoulders. "You just won the heart of the Princess, what are you going to do next?"
Once more Remy didn't say anything. Instead he put his turban and the lamp down and slunk into a chair.
"Psst, the line is 'I'm going to free the genie'," John said. "Any time now."
"John, I can't," Remy said.
"Sure you can," John said. "You just say, 'John I wish you free'."
"I'm serious!" Remy said. "Look, I'm sorry, I really am, but they want me to be sultan. No, they want Prince Rembrant to be sultan. Without you, I'm just Remy."
"Remy, you won."
"Because of you!" Remy snapped. "The only reason anyone thinks I'm worth anything is because of you! What if they find out I'm not really a prince? John, I can't keep this up on my own."
"Well, he's no alter ego of mine," Gambit said. "He's not even trying."
Rogue snickered.
"I can't wish you free."
"Hey, I understand," John said bitterly. "After all, you've lied to everyone else, I was beginning to feel left out. Now, if you'll excuse me."
With that last word, John disappeared into his lamp.
"John, I'm sorry," Remy said, picking up the lamp.
John stuck his tongue out of the spout and blew raspberries at him.
"Fine then! Just stay in there!" Remy shouted, slammed the lamp back down and noticed Kurt and Ororo peering at him through the window. "What are you two looking at?"
Kurt and Ororo looked at Remy, then at each other and left.
"Wait... I'm sorry," Remy said. "I didn't mean... What am I doing? John's right. I have to tell Anna the truth."
"Ha!" Pyro gloated. "See! I'm right! Remy admits it!"
"Figures it would only ever happen in fiction," Gambit replied mildly.
While Remy was off to look for Princess Anna, Todd sneaked into his room and picked up the lamp, gloating to himself the whole way. In short order he brought the lamp to Erik, who snatched it up eagerly and rubbed it with delight.
"You know, Remy," John said as he emerged. "I'm getting really tired of... I don't think you're him."
"I am your master now," Erik told him triumphantly. "My first wish: I wish to rule on high as sultan."
Thus it was that in the middle of Sultan Charles presenting Princess Anna's suitor to the people, the light of magic surrounded Sultan Charles. Triumphant laughter was heard as the mark of Charles' rule was taken from him and given to the new Erik.
"Erik you vile betrayer!" Charles exclaimed darkly.
"That's Sultan Vile Betrayer to you!" Todd corrected.
"Oh yeah?" Remy said, taking off his turban. "We'll just see about -"
His eyes widened in shock as he realised the lamp was missing. Erik laughed.
"Lost something?" he taunted him.
At that moment, the palace was wrenched from its place. As the palace was lifted to the mountainside, Remy's eyes fell on John.
"John no!" Remy shouted.
"Sorry Remy," John replied. "I have a new master now."
"And her name is Wanda," Gambit said. "Sorry, I just had to say that just once."
"Hey, what Wanda and I get up to in the bedroom is none of your business," Pyro replied smartly.
"Whatever it is, I'm sure it's hot," Gambit joked.
Pyro chuckled. Wanda and Rogue looked at each other and rolled their eyes.
"Erik, I order you to stop!" Charles commanded.
"But there's a new order now," Erik replied. "My order. Finally, you shall bow to me!"
"We'll never bow to you!" Princess Anna snapped.
"Princess Jasmine is definitely the coolest fairy tale princess ever," Rogue said.
"You're just saying that 'cause she reminds you of you," Kitty teased her.
"Damn straight."
"If you will now bow before a sultan, then you shall cower before a sorcerer," Erik declared. "Slave, for my second wish, I wish to be the most powerful sorcerer in the world."
John closed his eyes, pointed his finger at Erik and zapped him with the magic require to grant his wish. Erik laughed.
"Now, where were we? Oh yes, abject humiliation," Erik said smugly.
With his staff, Erik enchanted Charles and Princess Anna so they were forced to bow before him. Logan lunged towards Erik, but before he could get close, Erik zapped him too, turning him into a kitten.
"So, Logan," Gambit said. "Wanna saucer of milk?"
"So, Gumbo," Logan replied. "Wanna keep your tongue in your head?"
"Oh Princess," Erik said. "There's someone I've been dying to introduce you to."
He pointed to Remy with his staff.
"Prince Rembrant," Erik said with a smirk, and used his magic to break Remy's wish. "Or should I say, Remy. A street rat. A thief and a con artist."
"Is that supposed to be an insult?" Gambit asked. "Hey Buckethead, didn't you hire me in the first place because I'm a thief and a con artist?"
Magneto rolled his eyes at the name and said nothing in reply.
With no further adu, Erik sent Remy and the now disenchanted Kurt into one of the towers, and with a swing of his staff, sent the tower off flying. The tower landed in a snowy wasteland, and rolled downhill until it found a place to settle. Once it finally stopped, Remy emerged, Kurt tucked into his arms and looked around.
"This is all my fault," Remy said as he looked around. "I should have freed John while I had the chance."
Remy started to walk away, when he stepped on Ororo. She was, unfortunately, stuck underneath the tower.
"Quick Kurt," said Remy. "Start digging."
"Hmm," said Gambit. "Where'd you sent me, Magsy? Antarctica?"
"Possibly," Magneto drawled.
"Typical," Gambit muttered. "Oh well, Kurt's way better than a green mist lady."
"Thank you... I think," Kurt said.
"Stop it!" Princess Anna shouted as Todd taunted Charles. "Leave him alone."
"It pains me to see you reduced to this, Anna," Erik said as he pulled her over using the chain binding her.
"Wait, pause right there," said Gambit. "I wanna enjoy the view."
Rogue glared at him. Gambit looked between Rogue and the screen, trying to decide which view he preferred.
If you don't mind, drooling boy -
"Hey! I'm not drooling!" Gambit objected as Rogue snickered.
- I'm telling a story here.
Erik took a bite of the the apple Princess Anna was holding.
"A beautiful desert bloom such as yourself should be on the arm of the most powerful man in the world," he went on, transforming the chains into a crown. "What do you say, my dear?"
"Ewwww," Kitty exclaimed. "Omigod, like, I totally forgot about that bit."
"My Roguey," Gambit insisted, holding Rogue tight against him.
Rogue and Magneto looked at each other.
Princess Anna's hand curled around a glass of wine.
"Never," she replied, throwing the glass in his face.
"She took the words right out of my mouth," Rogue drawled.
"Damn good thing too," said Wanda. "Otherwise that would make you my step-mother."
"I'm way too young to have teenage children."
"And it wouldn't say a whole lot about your taste in men either."
"Plus he'd even older than Logan."
"What is this fixation you children have on age?" Magneto asked. "And I am not older than Logan."
"I don't know," Rogue replied smartly. "Maybe the same reason why you insist on calling us kids?"
"I'll teach you some respect!" Erik shouted, pushing Princess Anna to the floor. "I... no..."
Erik turned to face John.
"Slave," he said. "For my final wish: I wish for Princess Anna to fall desperately in love with me."
"Ahh, master," John replied,. "There are a few provisos -"
"Don't talk back to me!" Erik snapped.
While Erik was busy telling John off, Anna happened to look past them to see Remy enter the palace. She noted the lamp on the table and stood up, the crown in hand.
"Erik," she said coyly. "I never realised just how incredibly handsome you are."
Erik and John turned their heads to stare at Princess Anna as she put the crown on her head.
"That's better," Erik said to John, and then turned to Princess Anna. "Now, pussycat, tell me more about myself."
While Erik closed the distance between himself and Princess Anna, John scratched his head in befuddlement. He was really quite certain that he couldn't make people fall in love - and that's when he spotted Remy. Excitedly he bounded over.
"Remy!" he exclaimed.
"Shh!" Remy hissed at him.
"I can't help you," John said, quietly this time. "I work for that psychopath now."
"Hey, I'm a street rat remember?" said Remy. "I'll improvise."
John got out of the way and Remy continued sneaking towards the table. Likewise, Kurt also sneaked up on Todd. Remy had just about made it tot he lamp, when Todd spotted him.
"Er-" Todd began to yell, but was silenced by Kurt.
The two began fighting as Todd struggle to alert Erik and Kurt struggled to keep his mouth shut. They knocked a fruit bowl to the table. As Erik turned his head to find out what on earth was going on, Princess Anna grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him.
"I think I'm going to be sick," said Rogue.
"You and me both," said Wanda.
"So, Roguey," said Gambit, "what do you say after this is over we do something about those Joseph, erm, I mean Magneto germs in your mouth?"
"Please."
"That was," Erik began as he pulled away from the kiss, then noted Remy's reflection in Princess Anna's crown. He whirled around. "You! How many times do I have to kill you, boy?"
Erik zapped at Remy with his staff. Remy dodged and flung himself behind a pile of treasure.
"Get the lamp!" Remy yelled.
Princess Anna leaped for the lamp only for Erik to zap her with his staff.
"Uh, uh, uh Princess," he said as she found herself in a giant hourglass. "Your time is up!"
"Anna!" Remy shouted.
"On nice shot Er-" Todd began, but was promptly knocked out by Kurt.
Kurt then rushed for the lamp, but was promptly turned into a toy by Erik. At the same time, Ororo came in, but she too was hit by Erik's magic and was unraveled. Erik laughed at Remy's approach, surrounding him first with a collection of swords - of which Remy grabbed one - and then with a circle of fire.
"Are you afraid to fight me yourself, you cowardly snake?" Remy demanded.
"A snake am I?" Erik asked, even as he began to shape shift. "Perhaps you'd like to see how snake-like I can be?"
The fire vanished as Erik surrounded Remy with himself. Remy stabbed his with the sword and while Erik recoiled from the blow, Remy ran for the hourglass.
"Hang on Anna," he said.
Just before he reached her, however, Erik blocked him off. Erik wrapped up Remy in his coils and hissed at him.
"You little fool," Erik mocked him. "You actually thought you could defeat the most powerful being on earth? Without the genie, boy, you're nothing."
"The genie," Remy repeated, his eyes flickering towards John, who shrugged. "The genie has more power than you'll ever have."
"What?"
"He gave you your power. He can take it away. Face it Erik, you're still just second best."
"You're right. His power does exceed my own," Erik said thoughtfully and his grip on Remy loosened as he turned to John. "But not for long."
"The boy is crazy," John said. "He's a little punch drunk. One too many hits with the snake."
"Slave! I make my final wish: I wish to be an all powerful genie!"
"All right," John replied reluctantly. "Your wish is my command. Nice going Remy."
John zapped Erik. Immediately Erik's body began to change once more from the snake into the body of a genie. Remy pulled himself out of Erik's clutches and ran for Princess Anna. He smashed the hourglass and pulled Princess Anna into his arms as she gasped for breath.
"Yes! Yes!" Erik exclaimed. "The power!"
"What have you done?" Princess Anna demanded.
"Trust me," Remy replied.
"The universe is mine to command! To control!" Erik exulted.
"Aren't you forgetting something, Erik?" Remy asked as he picked up the black lamp that had formed beneath Erik. "You wanted to be a genie? You got it. And everything that comes with it?"
"What?" Erik cried as shackles appeared on his arm. "No!"
Try as he might, however, the magic of the lamp pulled Erik inside. In moments all, his magic, all his wishes were undone. The palace was back as it should be and the only sign that anything bad had happened was the black lamp on the floor.
"Phenomenal cosmic powers. Itty bitty living space," Remy said smugly.
"Remy, you little genius you," John said as he took the lamp from Remy. "Allow me. Ten thousand years in the Cave of Marvels ought to chill him out."
Everyone watched John as he threw the lamp far out into the desert.
I'm truly amazed I managed to write so much without getting interrupted by you lot.
"What?" asked Gambit. "You can't interrupt a fight sequence. It ruins the flow."
"Anna," Remy said softly. "I'm sorry I lied about being a prince."
"I know why you did," Princess Anna replied.
"So, uhh, I guess this is good bye."
"That stupid law. This isn't fair. I love you."
"How can she love him already?" asked Rogue. "They barely know each other. They only went on one date."
"Two if you count when they met as a date," Gambit said. "Love at first sight?"
"Typical."
"Remy," said John then. "You still have one wish left. Say the word and you're a prince again."
"But John," said Remy. "What about your freedom?"
"Hey, it's only an eternity of servitude. This is love," John replied.
Remy sighed.
"Anna, I do love you, but I've got to stop pretending to be something I'm not," he said.
"I understand," Princess Anna replied.
Remy picked up the lamp. "Genie, I wish for your freedom."
"One bona fide prince pedigree coming up. I - what?" John asked.
"John, you're free."
The lamp floated into the air and the shakes on John's wrists broke off. The lamp fell uselessly to the ground.
"I'm free," John said, almost disbelievingly. "I'm free! I'm free! Quick, wish for something outrageous. Say 'I wish for the Nile'."
"Uhh, I wish for the Nile."
"No way!" John shouted and then started bouncing around. "That does feel good! I'm free! I'm free at last! I'm hitting the road. I'm off to see the world I'm..."
"I'm going to miss you," Remy admitted.
"One, two, three," said Kitty. "Awwww."
Gambit rolled his eyes as Kitty, Jean and a number of the new mutants join her.
"You do care!" Pyro said, pouncing on Gambit - and by association, Rogue as well.
"Get off me, you f lamming fool," Gambit replied.
"Wanda, your boyfriend is trying to squish me!" Rogue objected.
"Me too, Remy," John replied. "No matter what anyone says, you'll always be a prince to me."
"That's right," said the newly restored Sultan Xavier. "You've certainly proved your worth as far as I'm concerned. It's the law that's the problem."
"Father?" Princess Anna asked hopefully.
"Well, am I Sultan or am I Sultan?" he asked. "From this day forth, the Princess shall marry whoever she deems worthy."
Princess Anna's face lit up.
"I choose him," she said, racing over to Remy and embracing him. "I choose you, Remy."
"Oh, all of you. Come over here," John said enthusiastically, wrapping multiple arms around them all."Big group hug! Mind if I kiss the monkey? Ooh, hairball! Well, I can't do any more damage around this popsicle stand. I'm outta here! Bye, bye, you two crazy lovebirds. Hey, Stormy: ciao! I'm history! No, I'm mythology! No, I don't care what I am - I'm free!"
The End.
Finally. I was beginning to think I'd never get here. If there hadn't been so many parallels between you guys and Disney's Aladdin, I would have done the original story from 1001 Arabian Nights.
"You kissed me," Kurt said disgustedly to Pyro.
"Well, at least it was only on the cheek," Pryo replied cheerfully. "Better than that tongue kiss Rogue gave Buckethead."
"I did not tongue Magneto," Rogue objected.
"Sure you didn't."
"C'mon Roguey," said Gambit. "Let's get you some mouthwash."