Chapter Eight:

Lutecia… I'm sorry, 'Dr. Veronica Klondike' sat down across the table from Vivio. "Now, as you are a minor, I have allowed your mother to be here."

"And also because she's still totally incoherent." Nanoha said bluntly, propping Vivio up so the girl wouldn't fall over and hurt herself. The combination of Lutecia's clownish aura of power and Vivio's painfully obvious and enormous crush had left the girl a complete mess. Nanoha had managed to get her... sorta... conscious again, but she was still completely useless for anything but spouting nonsense.

"… yes, that also." Lutecia admitted. "Now, I will show you a series of images, and you tell me what each one makes you think of. Do you understand?"

"She is passed out. She cannot hear you." Nanoha said.

"Very well, let us begin." Lutecia said, totally ignoring her. She held up a picture of a butterfly.

"Lguauu…" Vivio said.

"Thought of killing baby seals. Suspect displays an almost pathological need to inflict pain on others…" Lutecia said, jotting down some notes onto her clipboard.

"Eh? She didn't say any of that, why are you writing that down?" Nanoha asked.

"I'm not writing anything down." Lutecia said, writing something down.

"Yes you are, I can see you."

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. Now, Vivio, what do you think of this picture?" Lutecia asked, holding up an image of a kitten cuddling with a bunny.

"Ffjajllla..." Vivio said.

"Image made her want to burn down a hospital. Suspect may be incapable of feeling empathy for other human beings..."

"She didn't say that! Stop writing!"

"I'm not writing anything." Lutecia said, jotting down some final notes.

"I don't like you." Nanoha said, eyes narrowed.

"Suspect's mother displays open murderous intent, brags about the time she kidnapped and ate a dozen orphans. Clearly this sociopathic behavior is genetic..." Lutecia said, continuing to jot down notes.

"We're not even related by blood!"

"New hypothesis; clearly this sociopathic behavior is linked to how the suspect was raised, and most likely routinely abused, by the horrible monster I see before me..."

"Vivio? Please wake up soon. I begin to suspect this interrogation may be rigged against us."

"Suspect's mother is incapable of trusting another human being, in keeping with the other warning signs that mark her as a homicidal madwoman..." Lutecia said.

"So... um... in my... m-my..." Nove said, blushing furiously. "... I... my... um... p-professional... professional..."

It had been going so well, until now. They had all successfully (for a certain value of 'success') managed to infiltrate local law enforcement. They had Yagami and her circus successfully imprisoned, where they couldn't interfere with the Doc's plan. They had the oh-so-dangerous clown helplessly in Lutecia's clutches (it helped in that case that Vivio had obligingly decided to do nothing but spout nonsense and drool). Then, however, the time had come to commence the actual framing and make sure that Yagami's stay in prison lasted for the rest of her life.

Quattro had done just fine. But then it was time for Nove and Wendi to play their parts, and Quattro had learned something about her sisters: they couldn't act their way out of a wet paper bag.

Quattro rubbed her temples to fight off the headache. "Opinion! The word you're looking for is 'opinion'!" she snapped.

"Right, right, my professional opinion. Um... uh... that girl... who's-her-face, she did it. On purpose. And you all... you helped." Nove said weakly.

Chrono clapped slowly. "Wow. That's just... wow. You're clearly the cutting edge of law enforcement. Tell me, what evidence brought you to this conclusion, Agent McBeef? Or are we just working on a gut feeling, here?"

"... ... ... ... ... ... ..." Nove said, freezing up like a deer in the headlights.

Wendi smacked her upside the head. "Dummy, you're doing it all wrong! Here, watch me." She cleared her throat.

"GATHER! And I shall tell you now, a story of crime most foul." Wendi said, throwing her hands dramatically into the air for emphasis.

"Oh, God..." Quattro said.

"Yea, and the victim, an innocent, harmless young lady, enter into yon den of inequity, seeking only to see the pleasures of the circus, as any girl would." Wendi proclaimed grandiosely. "But upon her arrival, found only the black abyss of evil."

It should be noticed that she pronounced that last word 'e-veel'. In fact, she seemed to be over-pronouncing a lot of words, and probably using more elaborate gestures than relating a crime scene strictly required.

"Are we really listening to her...? She's treating this like a high school production of one of Shakespeare's more annoying plays." Teana said.

"Oh, just let her finish. She's only going to put on sunglasses if you don't." Chrono said.

"And YET!" Wendi screamed, probably for dramatic emphasis, "The girl sought only to escape, thinking of her desperate need to survive and see once again her boyfriend, Marco the poor busboy working to support his ailing mother, and her kitten Bootsie."

"... wait, what?" half the people in the room said, including both of Wendi's sisters.

"Idiot, this isn't an improv! Stick to the scrip... er, the crime scene report!" Quattro said.

"But what if they want to know the victim's backstory? Supporting cast are important. They flesh out the character via their interactions." Wendi said.

"She doesn't need to be 'fleshed out', she was a real person!"

"Are you sure? 'Cause I had this great scene where she gets home to find Bootsie is sick, and she can't afford a vet so Marco steals a diamond necklace from their rich neighbor, and..."

"Just say what happened at the frickin' circus!" Quattro shrieked.

"Really. Nobody cares." Teana agreed. She sounded a little shocked that she agreed with Quattro, but also seemed to be learning to live with it.

"Is... is Bootsie going to be okay?" Subaru asked, tears in her eyes.

"And what about Marco? If his crime is discovered, what will he do? He can't afford a lawyer with his mother's medical bills to pay!" Verossa said.

Teana and Chrono looked at each other, with a look that said, without words, 'I know your pain, and I share in it'. "Should... should we even bother?" Chrono asked.

"I think it would probably be a waste of time." Teana said sadly. "Just let them stay off in their own little worlds. Most likely they're happier that way anyhow."

"Fair enough. Miss Evelen, please continue." Chrono said.

"Very well!" Wendi said, snapping instantly back into drama mode. "She walked from tent to tent, each new step bringing with it new horrors... horrible, monstrous beasts!" She snapped, pointing at Caro the animal tamer.

"My babies are very well behaved!" The little pink girl protested.

"Heartless killers!" She continued, pointing at Vita.

"Hey, I don't kill anyone! Hospitalize, sure, but..."

"Twisted, vile experiments in mad science!" Wendi went on, pointing at Shari.

"Hard to argue with that one." Hayate admitted, clamping her hand down on Shari's mouth before she could make things worse by being herself.

"And then... just when she believed that she was doomed, she saw the greatest horror of them all: a child, trapped among this den of horrors. Trapped, and all alone!" Wendi said dramatically. "Her heart filled with love for her fellow man..."

"HA!" Most of the room (including, notably, Nove) said.

"... she went to rescue this poor, innocent child. Yet only then did the 'helpless child' reveal herself a viper in disguise. For she too was a member of this Circus of Terror, and when our kindhearted victim picked her up... the horrible devil-child drove home the cruel knife into her heart, a smirk of wicked glee upon her deceptively angelic face. And that... was how this crime occurred, gentle viewers."

"... 'gentle viewers'?" Teana asked dryly.

Chrono rubbed his temples. "I'm going to give you five minutes," He said coldly, "To spot what is wrong with your story. If it takes you the whole five minutes, something is very wrong with you."

"Eh? Did I do something..." Wendi began.

"Due wasn't killed with a knife, you moron. She was the one holding the knife." Quattro hissed, murder in her eyes.

"... can I start over?" Wendi asked. "Because I think I was going pretty good up until that last part."

Nanoha began to seriously wonder if maybe Verossa wasn't a better indicator of the general quality of this town's police force than Chrono was.

So far, Lutecia's 'simple image test' had declared Vivio to be a Murdering Thieving Rapist Sociopathic Arsonist, (and possibly a Vampire). This in spite of the fact that Vivio had not actually answered any of the questions. And Nanoha's request for assistance against this clearly biased test had resulted in the attending officer proclaiming that 'Psychological mumbo-jumbo' was best left 'to the brains', and walking out. It had taken all of Nanoha's willpower not to smash the man's teeth down his throat, but that would have only helped confirm Lutecia's analysis of her as a Psychotic Drug-addicted Child-abusing Cannibal (and possibly a Witch, further tests would be required to be certain and no ducks were currently available).

So yeah, things were not going well.

"All right, next image." Lutecia said, holding up the next card. "What do you think of this?"

Nanoha braced herself for two things; Vivio sputtering nonsense, and the urge to crush Lutecia's face.

"It's wrong." Vivio said.

Both Nanoha and Lutecia reacted as though they'd been bitten. The two women instantly turned their eyes to the card that had finally, finally provoked a reaction from the non-responsive girl, to see an image of a brightly dressed clown, holding a bunch of balloons and handing them out to children.

"It's wrong. His shoes are too small, everyone knows they need to extend a minimum to 1.5 feet beyond the edge of the toes. His makeup is unsymmetrical. His wig is the wrong color to off-set the polkadots on his shirt, Clowns should have clashing color schemes to draw more attention to them." Vivio said. Bizarrely, her eyes still looked distinctly unfocussed; it was as if she was speaking without actually waking up. "His rubber nose is too small for his face. His pants aren't baggy enough, they don't offer sufficient hiding places for props. And those balloons! Helium balloons, really? Just round? What self-respecting clown doesn't even make balloon animals?"

It was bizarre, to Nanoha's eyes. As Vivio got angrier and angrier, she seemed to grow in both size and in brightness, becoming somehow more defined against the room. Lutecia, on the other hand, seemed to shrink, to fade into the background. The only part of her that still seemed distinctive was her face; her exposed skin had gone from 'white' to 'ghostly', and her eyes were quite obviously filled with genuine fear.

"Why would you show me this? Why would you even have this image?" Vivio demanded. "You, of all people, should know what an insult this is! How could you possibly expose a fellow clown to this... this mockery?"

"... Vivio, clowns are supposed to mock things..." Nanoha felt compelled to state.

"In their acts, mother, yes. But this... this is a mockery of clowndom itself! She has spat on the essence of 'clown', and she... she, an elite clown, a clown among clowns, should have known better! How dare you, Lutecia Alphine? How dare you?" Vivio snapped.

"I... I'm sorry, I..." Lutecia stammered, before standing up and running out of the room. She ran down the halls, shoving past confused police officers, tears... tears!... running from her eyes. What was... what just happened? She thought, when she was again capable of conscious thought. Just the sight of the girl had filled her entire being with terror. So overwhelming was the child's aura of clownish rage that Lutecia would have been on her knees praying for mercy had she stayed in that room a second longer. Lutecia was a clown of unsurpassed skill, raised and shaped to be one for years. How had she been overcome so easily?

And why, now that she was away from that all-consuming presence, was the thing she felt most not fear, but... sheer, simple awe?

Back in the interrogation room, Vivio stood before the empty space where Lutecia had once been, solemn and silent. Her presence alone seemed to make the mostly empty room feel somehow crowded, as though it were an ancient pharaoh's crypt, heavy with the weight of history and reverence. When she finally moved, after nearly an entire agonizing minute, it was to pick up the sub-par portrait of a clown and tear it in half. She looked at the next portrait in the stack and said, in the same imperious tone she had used to chastise Lutecia, "The next image is a horsie. It is nice."

"... yes. Yes it is." Nanoha said, not quite certain what else to say.

"I like the braid in the tail." Vivio said.