Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

Things Russia isn't allowed to do:

1. I'm not allowed to sink ships by putting too many kittens in them.

-Greece will save the cats.

2. I'm not allowed to take over Hell.

-Rumor has it that Roman Empire already did that and well it will be quite dangerous anyway so I'm better off as I am now.

3. I'm not allowed to wear a mask and then go to the anniversary of Germania's death.

-Germany may think I am the grim reaper, silly of him, da?

4. I'm not allowed to make Italy seat throe a chemistry class.

-Especially if said class is being thought by a true mad scientist.

5. I'm not allowed to take responsibility for Hiroshima.

-It was America's fault.

6. I'm not allowed to throw Sweden in my "Happy payback time" pit just because he wasn't a good father.

7. I'm not allowed to call China a shiny bunny.

-He gets creped out.

8. I'm not allowed to imitate Korea.

9. I'm not allowed to say that England's siblings were kicked from Mars a long time ago.

10. I'm not allowed to speak with dolphins.

-Especially if I'm going to use them against America.

-My scientists used up so much time for the creation of a dolphin translator and now it's useless!

11. I'm not allowed to give ski lessons.

-Why not? America survived!

12. I'm not allowed to threaten America's hamburgers.

-He will become extremely violent.

13. I'm not allowed to endanger life on Earth.

-Why would I do that anyway, I will need something to rule over, da?

14. I'm not allowed to hug England and then say I'm his child.

-He will get a heart attack.

15. I'm not allowed to claim Estonia's inventions as my own.

-I can invent my own stuff, thank you very much.

16. I'm not allowed to talk the other nations into going with me on a mammoth searching trip and then trap them in my house so we could be friends forever.

17. I'm not allowed to rap during my speeches.

-Even if it's only so the other nations will pay attention to what I say.

18. I'm not allowed to wear contact lens that will make it seem like my eyes are in a constant puppy-dog eyes mode.

19. I'm not allowed to put pink ribbons in Lithuania's hair.

-But he looks so cute with them!

-I'm still not allowed to do it.

20. I'm not allowed to get Germany's special rubber ducky which he engineered to be able to faith of France's perverted advances and babysit Italy.

-He needs it more than I do.

Reviews are welcomed, flames are not.