A/N: This wouldn't get out of my head! It's an omake set a while before the start of PoW. There will probably be more of these in the future.

***

"Hold still."

"Quit pulling!"

"I'm not pulling! You've just got stupid-long hair!"

"I happen to like it this length."

"Which is why I'm going to all the trouble of doing this for you. Although I'm still not sure why." Zack picked up another bobby pin from the giant pile on the table and held it in his mouth with a look of intense concentration.

"I told you, if you're going to demand that I go to this club with you, I at least don't want to be recognized," Sephiroth explained yet again as Zack stuck the bobby pin in place.

"Yeah, I got that part. What I don't understand is why you don't want to be recognized. You'd have no problem picking up all the chicks you wanted. You probably wouldn't have to pay for a single drink, either."

"I don't want to pick up chicks. And I can afford to pay for my own drinks. At least then I'd know they hadn't been tampered with."

"You could give the free drinks to me, then. How can you not want to pick up chicks?" Zack sounded appalled.

"They don't interest me, Zack. Are you almost done?"

"Just about. I need a few more pins then you should be set. Whadd'ya mean they don't interest you?"

"They just don't, okay?"

"So, what? Are you gay?"

"Does it matter?"

"Sure it does. I need to know these things if I'm going to set you up with pe- OWW! Seph!"

"I don't want to be set up with anyone. And did you just call me Seph?"

"Uh, maybe? Is that a bad thing?"

"My name is Sephiroth. I realize there are an awful lot of syllables in it, but do try your hardest to pronounce them all. Would you?"

"Sure thing, Seph. But come on, I'm sure I could find you a nice guy. What's your type?"

"Sephiroth. It's Sephiroth. If you can't even get that right, how am I supposed to trust you to set me up with someone?" Sephiroth had a headache that was growing worse every second he spent with this overly energetic man. "When are Angeal and Genesis getting here?" Maybe they could save him.

"Should be pretty quick. Aaaand… You're done! All set for a night on the town." Zack sat back and admired his handiwork, grinning.

Just then, there was a knock on the door and Zack hopped up to answer it.

"Hey, guys," he said. "Seph's all ready to go."

"I can't believe you convinced him to come with us. And, did you just call him Seph?" Angeal sounded incredulous.

"Yep, he doesn't mind."

"Yes, I do!" Sephiroth shouted from his spot on the couch.

"He's just joking, we've got it all worked out. And we're going to try to find someone for Seph to hook up with tonight, sound good?"

"Really? You're going to try and hook Sephiroth up?" Genesis appeared from around the corner and stopped dead. "What the hell, Sephiroth!?"

"What?"

Genesis began snickering. "Zack, did you do Sephiroth's hair?"

"Yep! Looks good, doesn't it?" he called from the entrance.

"What did he do to me?" Sephiroth was beginning to worry.

"Haven't you looked in a mirror yet?" Genesis looked like he was truly trying hard not to laugh outright.

Sephiroth nervously got to his feet and went to look in the bathroom mirror. He flicked on the light switch and stared in absolute horror at what had been done to him.

"Sergeant Fair," Sephiroth's voice was deadly calm, "What is this?"

"What?" Zack obviously had no idea that that tone of voice meant to run, and run far. "Don't you like Princess Leia hair?"

***

Towo has done a fantastic comic version of this: http: // towo. livejournal. com / 5387. html