Uhm...I honestly don't have an explanation at the moment....

Unresolved Sexual Tension to the Max!

Part 1: Spain and Romano

Lovino Vargas was not frustrated. He was the leader of the damn Italian mafia, he'd been alive for centuries, if not longer, he did not get frustrated. Especially with oblivious, Spanish bastards who couldn't read the atmosphere to save their life despite having raised him. So no, he was not frustrated, he was royally ticked the fuck off. The fact that it was over the Spaniard's inability to notice when his tantrums - no, not tantrums, rages, much more manly sounding - meant he wanted the idiot to take him on the damn kitchen floor and not take the blasted pot of sauce from him and spend five minutes driving him mad by gently brushing the spilt sauce from every inch of his body in no way pointed to what Francis, and probably Kiku as well if placed in a room with Elizaveta, would call sexual frustration. No, he was just mad he'd had to wash his bathroom wall and take a cold shower while Antonio cleaned pasta sauce from the floor while praying nothing of his…problem had caught the man's attention.

And why didn't he want him to notice? Because of three things: 1) Antonio and himself were both very big on Catholicism and regardless of the fact that men could marry each other in Spain, Lovino refused to mention his attraction for fear of being burned at the cross - figuratively speaking, of course - and excommunicated. He could just picture his boss' rage if he found out.

2) Antonio had had far too many relationships in the past that he was 'serious' about and every last one had ended rather violently. Though everyone remained on good terms, the scars were visible and Lovino refused to simply be a chapter of Antonio's historical loves. Besides, he didn't want Spain, he wanted Antonio.

3) Antonio clearly loved Feliciano far more than he loved him, and who would he be to think that he was better than Feliciano at anything? He'd thought so for centuries, Feliciano was far superior to him in everything from cooking to flirting with girls and no matter what he did, he would be left in his little brother's shadow forever. Everyone loved him more, including Antonio, so why bother trying anymore? That was his whole excuse for being lazy all his life.

Alright, so maybe if he told Antonio these things they would be cleared up, but damn it, he needed to have him notice he loved him first - however much he tried to deny it. Really, if he could show him and have him reciprocate even with all those things against him, wouldn't that mean they were meant to be? Que sera sera - as much as he hated to quote that French pervert. But… Damn it, he was too confused to think anymore. He just wanted to run downstairs and shove that gorgeous idiot against the wall and…and…tell him exactly how he felt without blushing too hard. Yeah, that was it. Nothing at all to do with vital regions…and tongues…and damn it all, who the hell said that cold showers fixed these kinds of problems anyway? The should be shot for lying to him, damn it.

"Lovi! All the pasta's cleaned up! Come down and have some of the paella I brought over!" Antonio called from the outside the door, finally using some sense and not just barging in like usual. Actually, if he had come in, Lovino's life would be far easier and he could just pull him in the shower and… God damn, he was turning in to Francis!

Alright, breath. In. Out. In. Out. There, nothing to worry about… Except the growing problem around his waist and the thought of Antonio's amazing food waiting for him along with Antonio himself.

"Lovi? Are you alright?" Antonio jiggled the doorknob as Lovino thanked all heavenly beings he had had the foresight to lock the damn door.

"Yeah, bastard! Just go the fuck away already!" Truthfully, he didn't kno if he was telling Antonio to go away or the thoughts of how good Antonio looked with his hair wet and water dripping from his… Damn it, he needed counseling or something, this was getting ridiculous.

"Are you sure, Lovi? You sound like you're in pain…"

"No, bastard! Just go! I-I'll b-be down in a minute!" Damn it all, he 'd stuttered. Now the idiot would stand out there and laugh because he would know all the awful things his former protectorate was doing. God, someone just kill him now.

"Alright, but hurry up Lovi~! I don't want the food to get cold. I made it special, just for you!" Antonio's footsteps faded as he left. Lovino slid down the side of the shower, the water still running cold as it hit his knees. Oh dear god, he was going to hell for this.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Antonio had never been big on planning, but he took special care with this. Oh yeah, he acted dense as humanly possible, but there were things that just clicked for him. Like Lovino. Everything the man said and did was instantaneously understood by him for what he really meant. 'No, tomato bastard, I don't ever want to see your paella again' meant 'Please, Antonio, make me pots and pots of paella everyday until I burst.' 'Get the fuck away from me' was 'Damn it, I need to be hugged as tight as possible or I'm gonna start crying.' And 'I fucking hate you!' really was Lovi's way of saying 'I love you more than anything!' But where was the fun in telling him that? Far better to wait until Lovino burst with frustration and turned that beautiful red color that reminded him of their favorite food.

Oh, he knew exactly how Lovino felt for him, he just wanted to hear the Italian say it. Really, how much could he be expected to do to prove any of the reasons Lovino had for not telling him were dead wrong? He knew them all, Feliciano had told him years ago after hearing his brother rant over it all when he thought he was alone. He didn't give a damn if Lovino was excommunicated for being in love with him. Hell, he didn't care if he got kicked out of every church in the world for being with another man. It didn't matter to him if people thought they were sinning, he just wanted to be able to call Lovino his - not that he didn't already, but it would be nice if Lovino agreed to it; though he hadn't truly denied it yet. Then there was the idea that his feelings were fleeting at best and would end similarly to his relationships with Roderich or Arthur or Belgium. But that was ages ago and he had learnt something from those relationships, which might shock Lovino to his core simply because the oblivious Antonio had learnt something useful. Actually, it was probably the single most important thing he would ever learn. He learned to distinguish between the feelings of his nation and his humanity. Sure, after everyone else figured it out it was no big deal, but at the time he was thrilled. Plus his feelings started to form for Lovino and not just Romano. And as far as Feliciano went, the only reason he had spent so much time with him recently was to help him get together with Ludwig. It had been a long, and rather annoying, experience for everyone, but it had turned out fine in the end. Well, for Feliciano it did. Lovino seemed to find it as a sign that Antonio preferred the younger Italian, a ridiculous notion in itself since Feliciano was so…pliable. There was no fun in it if he couldn't be at least a little rough here and there. He had been a conquistador, you know, that instinct was kind of a challenge to repress sometimes. Lovino was probably the only once, human or nation, that could give back more force than he got, if his tantrums were anything to go on.

But damn, Lovi took far too long to notice these things! If he didn't try something, anything, he would end up taking the poor guy during lunch at a world meeting or something. Not that he would receive any complaints before, but after he would more than likely be given the cold shoulder for several weeks.

Of course, how could Lovino resist the temptation when he had 'accidentally' left a tomato on the floor so the Italian would stumble and spill sauce on himself? And then he had had to help his darling Lovi get the sauce cleaned up when it just so happened to fall on very sensitive areas. And how could he not notice the look in the man's eyes that clearly said "Antonio, I demand you pound the living daylights out of me until I can't even see straight?" Oh he'd planned this all out perfectly, including the part where he left Lovino alone and frustrated in the bathroom so by the time he came down he'd be so upset that he'd have to do something. And to make Lovi fell better - as well as save his own skin - Lovino would think the entire thing was his own fault and have no excuse but to go along with it. No it was not mean, he was just helping his friend open up a little. Really, Lovi with pent up frustration of any kind was not good news to someone on the wrong side of the mafia. Honestly, last month they'd found someone who had been force-fed a Molotov Cocktail. Not a pretty death.

Feet began to stamp down the stairs, followed by a fantastically multilingual array of curses that threatened to out do the stomping. Perfect timing. He had just finished setting the paella on the table.

"Hey Lovi~! How was you-"

Antonio froze as he was shoved violently against the table, his back to the Italian and a pair of arms on either side of his body simply to keep him trapped, as if he wanted to move. He turned slowly, eyes meeting the olive green he adored - he still had to look down just a bit but the glare he received made the odd crick in neck worth it. The fingers on the table twitched, as did the rest of Lovino's arms, and his face turned a light pink. Antonio repressed a chuckle; even when trying to be menacing, Lovino could not stop being adorable.

"Yes Lovi? How may I help you?" Antonio smiled his brightest, knowing the oldest Italian twin would only be more forceful if he thought he had no idea what was going on. And right on cue, that pink turned bright red, puffing his cheeks up and making those olive eyes that small fraction brighter even as their pupils dilated. "Lovi~! You look just like a toma-"

"Just shut up for five seconds, tomato bastard." And he made certain Antonio remained quiet.

Of course, Lovino made enough noise for the both of them, growling curses in between searing kisses that left him panting. Antonio's hands found their way to Lovino's waist as Lovino's left the table to tangle themselves in unruly brown locks. He let out a small squeak when Antonio suddenly pushed him against the wall separating the kitchen from the dining area, Antonio laughing against the Italian's lips at the sound. Lovino growled again and pushed him back against the table, though somewhere along the two feet between the wall and the table Antonio managed to push both plates to the floor and turn them so he was pinning Lovino to the table.

He let his lips leave the Italian's for a moment, only to reach up and bite gently on that one odd curl that refused to blend with the rest of Lovino's auburn hair. Lovino clenched his eyes shut, tightening his grip on the man's hair as he pulled him back down to kiss him fiercely. He moved them up the table slowly, so their legs eventually tangled together where the plates had once been. Though they didn't stay there for long as Lovino flipped them once again and brought his knees to rest somewhere near Antonio's chest as he sat just above his ah…vital regions.

"B-Bastard…" he breathed out, resting his head on the Spaniard's shoulder, "you wasted...the paella…"

Antonio couldn't help himself, he laughed. Of course only Lovino could be worried about food when they were seconds from doing things that would get them killed by Sweden if Sealand saw them. Someone needed to reorganize the man's priorities, though the idea of food at the moment seemed intriguing. He had made it special for his Lovi, after all.

"The hell are you smirking at, bastard?" Lovino's red face came into his field of vision and Antonio beamed at him.

"You'll see when we get upstairs, Lovi~!"

And with that, Antonio rolled them off the table, grabbed Lovino's hand and the pot of nearly forgotten paella and dragged him upstairs.

Everything according to plan.

Yes...I felt the need to do this last night... I think my Francis side was having a bit too much fun... Anyway! I'm going to make this a series! I might not update as much as everything else, which is getting hard since I get like five new ideas a day dammit, but I'll allow suggestions for pairings!

I'm already planning on:

AustriaxHungary

AustriaxPrussia

AustriaxSwitzerland

PrussiaxCanada

AmericaxEngland

AmericaxJapan

EnglandxFrance

FancexSpain

PrussiaxSpain

GermanyxItaly

Itacest (I just have to...)

LithuaniaxPoland

RussiaxChina

KoreaxChina

GreecexJapan

TurkeyxGreece

Anything else you want, just tell me in a review!

Reviews=Love! and a picture of my new Prussia plushie!!!! (yes, you all needed to know)