Note: This is an AU humor fic, so expect the unexpected! I got the
inspiration for this from another fic written by someone else! Most of the
LOTR characters are not themselves! This will wind up being an A/L fic, but
first they have to go through some crazy things… Elvish speech is in ' '.
Takes place shortly before the sunset. If you want a sequel, review.
An Elf's Worst Nightmare
Part 1
Legolas and Aragorn stood together, gazing at a waterfall in the distance. Aragorn turned to face Legolas, half fearing and half anticipating what the elf wanted to tell him.
'What did you want to tell me?' Aragorn asked quietly in Elvish. He was surprised to see how nervous Legolas looked.
Legolas licked his lips before speaking. 'Aragorn… I-I'm in love with you,' the elf confessed, waiting for Aragorn's reaction.
Gladness and joy sang through Aragorn's heart at those words, before he forced himself to remember Arwen. 'Legolas, I'm glad you told me but…' Legolas's shoulders sagged in defeat as Aragorn continued speaking. 'I'm engaged to Arwen.'
Legolas turned from Aragorn for a moment, fighting down the burning pain inside him, as he turned back, and pretended cheerfulness. 'It's ok, Aragorn. I just thought you should know,' Legolas said. 'But we can still be friends, right?' I wasn't expecting you to reject me, the elf thought to himself. But he said nothing aloud.
'Of course!' Aragorn cried. 'We'll always be friends, but for now, we should return to the camp.' He started off, certain that Legolas was right behind him.
Legolas, however, sank to his knees as soon as Aragorn was out of sight. He wept long and hard, with his face buried in his hands. And the elf was so distracted that he didn't see the seven pairs of eyes which had watched him and Aragorn speaking together.
The group of seven looked at each other, and then back at the distraught elf.
"You know what we have to do now," Frodo said. The others nodded grimly.
************************
The Next Morning
************************
Aragorn was concerned when Legolas got back to the camp so late after Aragorn himself had arrived. He'd attempted to talk to the blond elf, but Legolas had pushed him away, saying that he needed to be alone. But as Aragorn headed back towards the camp, after washing his face in a nearby spring, he saw a strange sight. Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Frodo were fussing over Legolas.
"Here, Legolas. You can have some of my bacon," Sam said, batting his eyelashes at the puzzled elf.
"That's ok, Sam. I have no need for it," Legolas replied.
"How about some of my apple?" Pippin inquired. "I only took one bite out of it."
Legolas shook his head. "I'm fine, really."
Frodo looked at Legolas, batting his eyelashes as well. "I saw you shivering last night, Legolas. Do you want to share blankets tonight and keep each other warm?"
Legolas choked on the bread he was eating. "No, thank you, Frodo." He was starting to get scared, as Gimli and Boromir walked over.
"Would you like my spare cloak, elf?" Gimli asked, gazing at Legolas in worship.
Boromir scowled. "Have mine, Legolas."
"I do not feel the cold, and therefore, I do not require any more cloaks," Legolas said, wondering what was wrong with everyone.
Burning jealousy struck Aragorn at the sight before him. But it only got worse, as Aragorn sat beside Gandalf, pretending that he didn't long to run over there and tell the others to stay away from 'his' Legolas.
Merry asked Legolas to assist him in cooking the rest of the bacon, which the kind elf did. But he hadn't anticipated on Merry 'accidentally' getting bacon grease on him. The grease splattered all over Legolas's shirt and tunic, as well as burning the skin it touched.
The elf let out a cry of pain, which caused everyone except for Gandalf and Aragorn to immediately run to his aid. Aragorn had jumped to his feet, and he silently went over to his pack. Jealousy was raging high in his veins, as the others all but tore Legolas's shirt off him.
"Let me go," Legolas protested. "I just need a few herbs from Aragorn to soothe the burns." He gasped suddenly. "Stop that, Pippin!"
Pippin smiled innocently as he removed his hand. Legolas was scared now. Why was everyone else acting so crazy, he wondered. He began to back away slowly, but Boromir caught him by the shoulders.
"We'll take good care of you, Legolas," the man purred. He ran his hand down Legolas's bare back. Legolas shot a pleading look at Aragorn, who was not looking.
"What's going on, Gandalf?" Aragorn asked. "Why are they all acting so strangely?"
Gandalf turned to him, a sly look in his eyes. "Well, Legolas is beautiful and a prince, Aragorn. When it was discovered that you rejected him last night, everyone else decided to leap at their chance to catch him. You see, the knowledge that the elf liked you was what held them back."
Aragorn turned pale. "You know that I rejected him?"
"Mm-hmm," Gandalf said. "The poor dear was crying his eyes out for hours."
Aragorn felt guilt in his stomach. "But you aren't chasing him," he pointed out.
"Good point," Gandalf said. He jumped to his feet and grabbed his staff, before he went over to the group. "I'm the group wizard, so I get first dibs!" Gandalf shouted.
Legolas was still trying to get away from the others. He saw Aragorn watching silently, as Legolas finally drew his bow and pointed it at the others. "The next one who grabs me anywhere is getting this in his heart!" the elf shouted. Then the bow broke in Legolas's hands.
Frodo grabbed Legolas by the legs. "Don't abandon me, Legolas!"
Different emotions flickered across Aragorn's face, as he angrily watched the rest of the Fellowship yell at Frodo to let go.
"Legolas in mine!" Boromir shouted.
Gimli vehemently denied that statement. "The elf is mine!"
"I'm the Ringbearer!" Frodo yelled. "So Legolas is mine!"
Legolas was busy trying to get Frodo off his feet, without hurting the Hobbit. He froze when he heard what they were saying.
"He belongs to me!" Gandalf yelled. His power surged around him, and frightened the Hobbits, who squealed and grabbed a hold of Legolas.
"Save us!" they begged.
"Get off!" Legolas shouted. He shot another pleading look at Aragorn. Boromir and Gimli yanked the Hobbits off of the elf, and grabbed his arms.
Aragorn met Legolas's gaze for a few moments, before he turned away. But his morals wouldn't let him just leave the elf like that. "C'mon, people! It's time to start walking again!"
"Carry me," Frodo pleaded, as he batted his eyelashes at Legolas.
Legolas was the first who was ready to go, and he leapt into the trees to avoid more of whatever was going on in the Fellowship.
To be continued
An Elf's Worst Nightmare
Part 1
Legolas and Aragorn stood together, gazing at a waterfall in the distance. Aragorn turned to face Legolas, half fearing and half anticipating what the elf wanted to tell him.
'What did you want to tell me?' Aragorn asked quietly in Elvish. He was surprised to see how nervous Legolas looked.
Legolas licked his lips before speaking. 'Aragorn… I-I'm in love with you,' the elf confessed, waiting for Aragorn's reaction.
Gladness and joy sang through Aragorn's heart at those words, before he forced himself to remember Arwen. 'Legolas, I'm glad you told me but…' Legolas's shoulders sagged in defeat as Aragorn continued speaking. 'I'm engaged to Arwen.'
Legolas turned from Aragorn for a moment, fighting down the burning pain inside him, as he turned back, and pretended cheerfulness. 'It's ok, Aragorn. I just thought you should know,' Legolas said. 'But we can still be friends, right?' I wasn't expecting you to reject me, the elf thought to himself. But he said nothing aloud.
'Of course!' Aragorn cried. 'We'll always be friends, but for now, we should return to the camp.' He started off, certain that Legolas was right behind him.
Legolas, however, sank to his knees as soon as Aragorn was out of sight. He wept long and hard, with his face buried in his hands. And the elf was so distracted that he didn't see the seven pairs of eyes which had watched him and Aragorn speaking together.
The group of seven looked at each other, and then back at the distraught elf.
"You know what we have to do now," Frodo said. The others nodded grimly.
************************
The Next Morning
************************
Aragorn was concerned when Legolas got back to the camp so late after Aragorn himself had arrived. He'd attempted to talk to the blond elf, but Legolas had pushed him away, saying that he needed to be alone. But as Aragorn headed back towards the camp, after washing his face in a nearby spring, he saw a strange sight. Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Frodo were fussing over Legolas.
"Here, Legolas. You can have some of my bacon," Sam said, batting his eyelashes at the puzzled elf.
"That's ok, Sam. I have no need for it," Legolas replied.
"How about some of my apple?" Pippin inquired. "I only took one bite out of it."
Legolas shook his head. "I'm fine, really."
Frodo looked at Legolas, batting his eyelashes as well. "I saw you shivering last night, Legolas. Do you want to share blankets tonight and keep each other warm?"
Legolas choked on the bread he was eating. "No, thank you, Frodo." He was starting to get scared, as Gimli and Boromir walked over.
"Would you like my spare cloak, elf?" Gimli asked, gazing at Legolas in worship.
Boromir scowled. "Have mine, Legolas."
"I do not feel the cold, and therefore, I do not require any more cloaks," Legolas said, wondering what was wrong with everyone.
Burning jealousy struck Aragorn at the sight before him. But it only got worse, as Aragorn sat beside Gandalf, pretending that he didn't long to run over there and tell the others to stay away from 'his' Legolas.
Merry asked Legolas to assist him in cooking the rest of the bacon, which the kind elf did. But he hadn't anticipated on Merry 'accidentally' getting bacon grease on him. The grease splattered all over Legolas's shirt and tunic, as well as burning the skin it touched.
The elf let out a cry of pain, which caused everyone except for Gandalf and Aragorn to immediately run to his aid. Aragorn had jumped to his feet, and he silently went over to his pack. Jealousy was raging high in his veins, as the others all but tore Legolas's shirt off him.
"Let me go," Legolas protested. "I just need a few herbs from Aragorn to soothe the burns." He gasped suddenly. "Stop that, Pippin!"
Pippin smiled innocently as he removed his hand. Legolas was scared now. Why was everyone else acting so crazy, he wondered. He began to back away slowly, but Boromir caught him by the shoulders.
"We'll take good care of you, Legolas," the man purred. He ran his hand down Legolas's bare back. Legolas shot a pleading look at Aragorn, who was not looking.
"What's going on, Gandalf?" Aragorn asked. "Why are they all acting so strangely?"
Gandalf turned to him, a sly look in his eyes. "Well, Legolas is beautiful and a prince, Aragorn. When it was discovered that you rejected him last night, everyone else decided to leap at their chance to catch him. You see, the knowledge that the elf liked you was what held them back."
Aragorn turned pale. "You know that I rejected him?"
"Mm-hmm," Gandalf said. "The poor dear was crying his eyes out for hours."
Aragorn felt guilt in his stomach. "But you aren't chasing him," he pointed out.
"Good point," Gandalf said. He jumped to his feet and grabbed his staff, before he went over to the group. "I'm the group wizard, so I get first dibs!" Gandalf shouted.
Legolas was still trying to get away from the others. He saw Aragorn watching silently, as Legolas finally drew his bow and pointed it at the others. "The next one who grabs me anywhere is getting this in his heart!" the elf shouted. Then the bow broke in Legolas's hands.
Frodo grabbed Legolas by the legs. "Don't abandon me, Legolas!"
Different emotions flickered across Aragorn's face, as he angrily watched the rest of the Fellowship yell at Frodo to let go.
"Legolas in mine!" Boromir shouted.
Gimli vehemently denied that statement. "The elf is mine!"
"I'm the Ringbearer!" Frodo yelled. "So Legolas is mine!"
Legolas was busy trying to get Frodo off his feet, without hurting the Hobbit. He froze when he heard what they were saying.
"He belongs to me!" Gandalf yelled. His power surged around him, and frightened the Hobbits, who squealed and grabbed a hold of Legolas.
"Save us!" they begged.
"Get off!" Legolas shouted. He shot another pleading look at Aragorn. Boromir and Gimli yanked the Hobbits off of the elf, and grabbed his arms.
Aragorn met Legolas's gaze for a few moments, before he turned away. But his morals wouldn't let him just leave the elf like that. "C'mon, people! It's time to start walking again!"
"Carry me," Frodo pleaded, as he batted his eyelashes at Legolas.
Legolas was the first who was ready to go, and he leapt into the trees to avoid more of whatever was going on in the Fellowship.
To be continued