I've had this rolling around in my head for a while, keeping me from my other story, so I just decided to write it out. My main focus right now is 'A Place of Healing' but hopefully I will be able to update both in time.

I also want to make something clear. This is not a Paul love story. Sorry if that disappoints you. There will be a Quileute involved though. :)

The title of this chapter is from 'If I Ever Feel Better' by Phoenix and the title of the story is from John Mayer's song Heartbreak Warfare.

I do not own anything from Stephanie Meyer's series. I only own the plot and my original characters. :)

Chapter 1

I felt as if the ground had shattered underneath me at the moment I saw it- the look in his eyes. Five minutes ago we were making out in his truck and now he couldn't even look at me. I knew that face. I'd seen it on multiple others before him, but I still couldn't really believe I was seeing it on him right now. It had to be now. Just after he'd told me he loved me. I couldn't focus on the way the wind blew over my skin, giving me goosebumps. I was only aware of the tears filling my eyes, making my vision cloudy. I was only feeling overwhelming grief. My hands and feet moved on their own accord, opening the car door and walking away from him. Would he even notice? She was all he could look at now. She was all he would ever look at from now on.

My heart felt like it was literally going to rip out of my chest. I'd never felt such pain before. We knew this day could come but we'd tricked ourselves into thinking it never would. All of a sudden I felt so naive. It was like I'd matured years and it'd only been ten minutes since we saw her. He was dropping me off at Forks' Hospital so I could shadow some nurses. She was in the parking lot, getting out of her car. He'd barely glanced at her, but that was enough. She was his imprint and I was his ex-girlfriend as of just now. He parked the car, and I watched his chest rise and fall. His breaths were deep and his eyes dark. He had glanced at my face once and I saw it. He was terrified of what I'd do. He knew me. I'd wanted to scream and hit him. I'd wanted to beg him to forget what he'd just seen. I had thought he was the one. He couldn't be the one because I wasn't his imprint.

I hated that word. I hated La Push and their wolves. I hated that they were so lucky they knew who their soul mates were. I hated it because I thought I could change it- we thought we could change it. We were so wrong.

I started running at some point, just wanting to get away from him. I never wanted to see his face again. I knew what it would hold. He would pity me. He would pity our relationship. I couldn't see it. I wouldn't see it. The tears had blurred my vision and I was surprised I hadn't run into anything yet. I could feel the ground shaking a bit and I knew one of them was following me. No doubt he had phased at some point and they'd all seen what had happened. It was humiliating.

I didn't want to stop running. I couldn't stop.

Sobs were pressing my chest, begging to escape. My teeth were digging into my bottom lip to keep them from bursting out. My legs had gone numb since I got out of the car. My whole body was numb except for my chest. I wanted to fall into a coma, just so I wouldn't feel my heart any longer.

I knew I was acting like a child somewhat. I was twenty years old. I couldn't run away from my problems forever. But I couldn't just stand there and watch the supposed love of my life stare at another woman the way he looked at me minutes prior. It was too hard.

Finally my legs gave up on me and I stopped abruptly. I blinked rapidly to discover I was at my house, about two miles from the hospital. I had my bag slung over my shoulder still. Thankfully it hadn't fallen off because I probably wouldn't have noticed.

I tried to ignore the building storm in my chest and throat as I trudged up the front porch steps and swung the door open.

My mom was standing there, cleaning the living room when I walked in. She smiled until she saw the look on my face. The duster dropped from her hands as she rushed to me and grabbed my bag off my shoulder.

"What's wrong baby?" She crooned, her eyes full of worry. I wondered vaguely what I looked like from someone else's viewpoint right now.

I couldn't speak to her. My lip was starting to tremble and I didn't want to crumble in front of her. Her hands touched my face and I dropped my eyes to the floor, falling into her open arms. That's when I started to sob. I barely heard my mom's gasp as I succumbed to the darkness inside me.

I don't remember much after that until two days later.

My mom had called the hospital and let them know I wasn't feeling well. At least one thing was taken care of.

I knew my mom didn't fully understand what had happened. I couldn't really explain through my sobbing and near comatose-like state. But she knew it had something to do with him. She'd somehow managed to keep my dad from going over to him and demanding to know what had happened. I didn't know if I was thankful or disappointed. I know it wasn't completely his fault, but I somewhat wanted him to feel the same pain that I did.

He never called the house.

I never even got an "I'm so sorry I ripped your heart out like I promised I wouldn't". I didn't even get an "I'm sorry".

I'd been awake laying in bed for about an hour before I heard footsteps nearing my room. I winced at the sound and rolled over to face the wall. I didn't want to see anyone.

"Elena?" I sniffled in response. If I was going to see anyone I was glad it was Alice. I felt her stone cold hands on my shoulder, pulling me gently to face her. Right on cue, my lip started to tremble again. She pulled me into a hug and even though she wasn't soft at all, I was comfortable.

"He imprinted, Alice. How could I have been so stupid?" I had been asking myself the same question ever since it happened. Why did I have to be so freaking happy up until this point? Why couldn't I have told myself to ignore the cute boy who flirted way too much? Why did I have to give in so easily?

"You're not stupid, sweet. It was improbable that it would happen. How many new people come to Forks or La Push?" Alice's melodic voice drifted into my ears and I knew she was just trying to make me feel better. Everyone had warned us about what could happen. But why couldn't it happen to a wolf who didn't have a girlfriend?

"I just feel like an idiot." I mumbled, wiping at my tears.

"Bella wanted to come, but you know she's not very good in these kind of situations." Alice said softly, trying to gauge a smile from me. I snorted in response, nodding my head. Bella was the most awkward vampire I'd ever come across and I'd met a fair few.

I was never supposed to even know about imprinting or wolves or vampires. Unfortunately he became my best friend and we couldn't lie to each other. He'd introduced me to the Quileutes and the Cullen clan and I'd fallen in love with all of them. I'd felt like part of a big family. Now I wouldn't be welcome.

With that thought, another round of tears came.

"I won't be able to see you anymore, Alice." I bawled. I sounded ridiculous even to my own ears. Alice's small, sad laugh made me look up at her briefly. My hands were covering most of my face as I peeked at her. She shook her head at me.

"We'll still see you, silly girl. We're friends and that doesn't change because of a mutt." Alice made a face at me and I sniffled, nodding. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to stop myself from thinking about him.

"How is he?" I asked softly, dropping my eyes back to the bed. I felt her stiffen a bit and I prepared myself for more emotional damage.

"Are you sure you want to talk about him?" She asked gently and I shrugged my shoulders. I really didn't know what I was able to talk about. Alice sighed, sitting on top of the covers beside me, one of her little arms on top of my shoulders.

"He's upset. He's worried about you and wants to talk to you." I thought I heard Alice growl a bit before she continued. "But, I think it's best he keeps his distance for a while.. don't you?" I nodded a bit in response. Honestly, I wanted him to come over and hold me and tell me it was all a dream.

Alice sighed again before murmuring, "You can't change an imprint..".

We fell into silence after that. I knew she was right.

"What do I do now, Alice?" I asked, breaking the silence spell. I felt her shift beside me, and felt her eyes on the side of my face.

"What do you mean what do you do? You do what you've always done.. just.. without him."

"I mean how can I keep living here? Everything I do will remind me of him. It's so hard just being in my bed."

"It's all fresh right now, Elena. You'll be okay eventually. I know you will." That made me feel a bit better. Alice's foresight came in handy nearly all the time. I just wish she'd foreseen this. Alice wasn't able to have her "premonitions" when the Quileutes were involved.

"When will I feel better?" I asked. I knew I was whining a bit, but in my case I felt like I somewhat deserved it. I hadn't lashed out at anyone yet and that had to mean something.

Alice smiled at me in response and squeezed my shoulder lightly. "Eventually."

Alice stayed with me a couple more hours before I released her. I knew she'd want to get back to Jasper, her husband, and the rest of her vampire clan. She'd made sure to tell me to come visit whenever I felt like the pain was too much. Jasper had a way with emotions and he had offered to soothe me a bit. Unfortunately I wasn't ready to be around to many people yet.

It was too soon.

The next day I ventured downstairs for lunch. My mom then smothered me with maternal care, so I decided to hang out in my room for the rest of the day.

On Day Six I was going downstairs regularly for meals and to help my mom around the house. I still didn't talk much unless it was on the phone to Alice and sometimes Bella. I missed them, but I was scared of going out of the house. I didn't want to run into anyone I knew.

On Day Ten I charged my cell phone that had died on the day he imprinted. I had so many text messages and voice mails I didn't know what to do. So I made Alice come over and listen to them for me. I didn't want to hear his voice. She relayed every voice mail to me; he hadn't left one. Later that night I read my twenty-four text messages.

Text message number twenty-three nearly sent me into cardiac arrest. Only six words and yet I felt like I would pass out.

"Please call me. I miss you."

He sent me a text message. The one person I'd been nearly killing myself over for the past week and a half. I stared at my phone's vibrant screen, debating on what to do. I really just wanted to curl up in my bed and cry some more. But then again, I wanted to get angry. He'd sent me a lousy text message instead of calling me hundreds of times or trying to come and see me. One text message for the two years we'd dated.

My finger pressed "call" before my brain realized what was going on. I stared blankly down at my phone, reading the two little words "Calling Paul....".

I hope you like it. Drop a review if you want.

-A Lesson Before Dying