A/N: A little on-the-side one-shot for Beej and Lyds I had a little inspiration for. For you readers my Beej is a little more on the movieverse side and my Lyds a little more on the cartoonverse side, but they still have bits of the other mixed in, as does the world itself.

I don't own Beetlejuice or any of their characters, and I don't make any profit off these stories. Just good times.

Rated M for sex scenes.

"Pleeeease, Beej? It's Halloween! I know that's your favourite holiday, and what better day to go out with me in all of your hauntingly disgusting glory?" Lydia swung around her room, tossing her bag into the corner where it landed without incident. She grabbed a cloth and threw it over the mirror in which Beetlejuice lounged to changed out of her school uniform without worry of him watching. "It's my last year in the Academy, Beej, and I would love to set all those prissy little upstarts in their place with a good night of terror."

He listened to her shuffle around her room and contemplated her words. "I don't know, Lyds, it sounds kinda lame. I mean why don't you just come on over to this side like ya usually do and we'll party it up Neitherworld style?"

She yanked the covering from the mirror and Beetlejuice turned to face her in the mirror. She was wearing a warm, red knit sweater and black jeans. "It's the biggest dance of the year, and you haven't even heard what I want to do yet, Beej! Come on, I really want to raise a little hell for all those bitches who have been on my case for years!" she pressed a hand to the glass, "I know you'll always have my back, Beej…" she trailed off and Beetlejuice was mesmerized by the devious little smirk that made its way onto her face.

"You really wanna stir some shit up, Babes?" he asked slowly.

She smiled, "I also want to win best costume."

Beetlejuice chuckled, "Well, Babes, you know the drill. Say the B word."

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" She felt the cold rush and stumbled backward under its force before two cold arms wrap around her and catch her mid-fall.

"Well then Babes I solemnly swear to raise so much hell this Halloween that no one in that ridiculous girl's school of yours will venture outside on October thirty-first ever again." He grinned down at her before righting the pair of them. "So when's the party?"

"Three days. Halloween falls on a Friday this year, so the school can have the party Halloween night." She replied, sitting on her bed.

Beetlejuice rubbed grimy hands together and jumped onto the bed beside her, "Perfect! So, Babes, what were you planning?" Lydia grinned and leaned forward conspiratorially.

"Well, with I was hoping the Ghost With the Most might have a few ideas." She teased.

"Oh, Babes, I got loads of ideas… None of which I think you'd find appropriate for a group of seventeen year old girls." He leered perversely at her and she rolled her eyes.

"Ideas for scaring them, Beej, not getting your ass put in jail for sexually harassing minors." She stood from the bed and turned to face him. "So?"

Beetlejuice snorted, "Like a mortal jail could hold me, Babes!" he followed her and stood, she had grown in the time he'd known her and she was only vaguely shorter than him now. "And I promised you hell, didn't I? Don't you worry your pretty little head over the plan."

She smiled, delighted, and nodded. "Thanks, Beej, this is going to be so deadly!"

"Only the deadliest for my Babes." He announced enthusiastically, "So whatcha goin' as this year, Babes?"

Her smile turned back to that most devious grin he'd seen minutes before and if his heart still beat it would have skipped in that moment. "That's a secret, Beej! You know that!" she teased, poking at his chest.

He held up his hands. "Fine, Babes, fine! Whatever you say."

Three days later…

"Damnit Lyds, are you ready yet?" his muffled voice came from behind the cloth covering on the mirror as Lydia fidgeted nervously, debating whether or not to remove the cloth. She had especially made this costume for tonight and now… Now she was concerned it was too much. What if he didn't like it? She shook her head. It was Beej, he'd like anything she wore.

"Yea Beej, I'm ready." She moved to yank the cloth away before she chickened out.

"Finally, Lyds, you chicks really know how… to…" he trailed off as he stared out the mirror at her. "I… I… Shit, Babes, wow." He pressed his hands again the glass separating them.

Lydia flushed, "Uh… So, you like it, Beej?"

"Like it? Lyds, when did you get so fucking hot!?"

"Beej I'm serious! Do you like it?"

"Gods, Lyds, let me outta here and I'll really show you just how much I like it!" he leered sleazily, but in truth he couldn't stop staring.

She'd really gone all out this year, and he'd been serious in his remarks to her. "Let me out, Babes, I want a better look. Please, I'm beggin' you here!"

"Alright, alright! Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."

He was suddenly beside her, circling her very closely and taking in every inch of her. A thick, black choker encircled her throat, a red gem dangling to the hollow of her throat. It led his eyes down, the bodice was tight on her and striped with vertical crimson and black stripes, made of what looked to be satin or silk with small, black buttons doing up the front. The sleeves were off the shoulder and long, almost to her fingertips. His eyes were drawn to her chest, not overly ample, now pressed sexily upward against the fabric. The skirt was also silk, as well as lace and fell waves out from her hips. What drew his attention there was the slit that came up to her thigh, revealing more of her skin, which he was coming to realize was flawlessly pale. She wore a pair of black ankle boots to complete the outfit and if he had bothered to look he would have seen a black cloak draped over her chair. His travelled back up her body, passing over lips the colour of blood and meeting dark eyes surrounded in dark shades of make-up.

"Beej? Beej, it's not too much, is it?" He realized she was speaking to him, fiddling with hair that she'd curled and now fell in waves around her face. A tiny top-hat sat off-center on her head, tiny flowers circling the brim.

"No, no… Not too much. You just make me feel underdressed is all." He grinned toothily at her, smoothing the front of his wrinkled suit; the same striped one he always wore. Lydia eyed it thoughtfully.

"Is that really what you're going to wear tonight, Beej?" she was trying to brush off the way he'd been looking at her. It made chills run up her spine… and she found herself enjoying it.

"Of course, Babes! Ghost With the Most gotta look the part!" the door flew open behind him and he held his arm out to her, "Ready, Lyds?" In truth he almost didn't want to take her out. He didn't want anyone else but him to see her in that costume. It left him breathless, if he'd had the need to breath that is. That didn't stop him from feeling jealous at the mere thought of anyone else but him seeing her in it.

She grinned and grabbed her cloak from the chair behind her before taking his arm and heading downstairs. Her father and Delia had both already headed out to their own Halloween party downtown, so there was no need to worry about them, and Barbara and Adam were staying in the attic, worried about being seen on Halloween night when the spiritual world's energy is amplified tenfold.

The looks they received when they arrived at the dance were a mixture of shock, surprise, disgust, and the odd glare of anger and hatred. Lydia ignored them as Beetlejuice made her laugh with a dirty joke about all the slutty teen girls and their equally moronic dates. The music inside the auditorium was blaring as they entered, and for once it didn't completely suck. The hired DJ had decided to stick mostly with the theme Halloween readily provided and was currently playing a hard rock song that made Lydia laugh. She could just imagine all the girls loving this.

"So when should we put our little plan into action?" Beetlejuice asked as they made their way to the back where the refreshments table sat.

"Not now, Beej, let's see how this dance thing goes, first. I want to enjoy a little bit of this night, especially when I got all dressed up for it."

He nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets and watching the partygoers around him. Their costumers were all pretty lame, in his opinion: Black cats, vampires, pirates… nothing really scary. He watched as a particularly scantly clad cheerleader strode by with a lumberjack on her arm. "That girl, the one who use ta make fun of ya, is she still around?"

"Who, Claire? Yea, she's still around. Why?"

"Well, was just thinkin' it had been some time since I scared the socks off that little brat." He grinned down at her and she smiled back at him with the vaguest flicker of a smirk curling the edges of her lips. Maybe he was rubbing off on her? If it made her smirk in that sexy little manner then good, he was enjoying his affect on her. Maybe tonight wouldn't be such a write-off after all…

They milled about a bit, watching as after most everyone had arrived the costume contest get underway. Lydia had wanted to sign up, but Beetlejuice had to urge her to do so when she tried to back out at the last minute, convinced no one would like her costume. The winner was decided by whomever's costume got the loudest roar from the audience, and when Lydia's turn came Beetlejuice whooped and hollered the loudest of everyone. In the end Lydia didn't win but came in second, and only because the loudest response was for a guy who had dressed as a giant yellow dildo and had passed it off as a banana. Even Beetlejuice laughed at his guts, especially when he wasn't even kicked out. Despite the 'official' result, he liked to think Lyds had really won. People had actually liked her costume. Hell, who wouldn't? It was fucking spectacular.

When she climbed down from the stage she was flushed with happiness and Beetlejuice couldn't help but grin broadly as he congratulated her.

"Damn fine job. I knew ya'd win it, Babes."

"I didn't win, Beej. I came in second."

"Next to a giant yellow dildo, Lyds!"

"Banana!"

Beetlejuice snorted, "Even you ain't that naïve, Lyds." He chided.

She sighed, "Alright, alright. But I did come in second."

"Fine, second, but I still say you had the best damn costume on the stage."

"You would." She retorted and they fell silent as the music picked up. Lydia recognized the song immediately and the words spilled from her lips before she could stop them, "Beej, I love this song, you have to dance with me!"

He stared at her for a moment in surprise. That was something he'd never thought she'd ask him, but as he looked her over and took in the hopeful look in her eyes he couldn't refuse. "Sure, Babes, anything you want."

He was rewarded with a smile that lit up the dark and flashing room and she led him to a spot further into the crowd of dancing teens. It was a slower song, which was probably a good thing as if it had been a faster beat Beetlejuice didn't know if he could resist terrorizing the dancers around them. As it was, he knew he wouldn't be able to do anything of the sort as Lydia stepped closer—very close—and wrapped her arms around his neck. He stood there stupidly for a moment before she leaned up and whispered for him to put his hands around her waist. He obeyed immediately and they began to sway in slow circles.

"Didn't know you couldn't slow dance, Beej." She teased.

His eyebrows shot almost up to his forehead, "I can dance, Babes, its just that we didn't slow dance like this when I was alive."

He curiousity was piqued, "Really? How did you—"

"If it isn't Miss Freaky Goth herself!" the high, shrill voice of a well-known enemy interrupted her and they both turned to stare at the darkly tanned blonde and handful of other girls currently snickering at them. Claire was eyeing Beetlejuice warily, but in this huge crowd she was overconfident. "What, couldn't find a date so you had to bring your uncle?" Claire teased. Of course Lydia had never really formally introduced the pair, although Beetlejuice knew very well who Claire was and Claire had grown a healthy fear of the man. She was currently dressed as a bunny, and a not-so-modest bunny at that. Lydia wanted to gag, she'd never wanted to see that much of Claire. Ever. "I guess it can't be helped for a loser like you. I mean, after all you did lose the costume contest to a giant, yellow dil—banana." The girls shrieked with hysterical laughter like that was the highlight of the night and Lydia was just about to retort that she hadn't seen any of them enter when Beetlejuice beat her to the punch.

"She only lost because voices like yours make dogs go deaf." He sneered, "and I didn't see any of you entering against her. Musta knew you wouldn't win dressed as a skanky whore. But that's okay, I'm sure you'll find another way to make a few bucks tonight." He leered at them with yellowing teeth and eyes that began to glow in the darkness. Lydia had to turn her head to stifle her laughter as the group of girls twittered and milled about, at a loss, before storming away with Claire in the lead.

Beetlejuice took one of her hands from his shoulder and held it out more like a waltz than slow dancing like she knew it, "Don't worry about them, Lyds, I got it all taken care of."

There was a group of high-pitched gasps from a few feet away, "Claire? Like, Claire, where did you go?" There was a crash and a short shriek from another girl before…

"EEWWW! Who let a rabbit, like, into the dance?" and a shriek from a few other girls as the rabbit began to hop at them.

Lydia giggled as Beetlejuice led her around the floor. "I'm going to take that as a sign to begin." He grinned lopsidedly at her, "Now, whatever happens, Lyds, don't stop dancing with me. I gotcha." He cackled, "It's showtime!" And suddenly the music picked up. He swung her around quickly and the lights flickered, and a layer of smoke began to roll over the floor. That was when Lydia recognized the song that began playing and laughed again. It was a covered version of Monster Mash, and Lydia just couldn't take how cheesy he was being. Then the doors to the gymnasium slammed shut. There were a few screams from the crowd, but thus far the changes were taken in good humour. That is, until one blood-curdling scream from the corner caught most of the attention. A girl was slowly backing away from a boy in a very good werewolf mask; that is until the werewolf opened its mouth and one realized that was definitely not a mask. Screams erupted in the gym and people started running. Lydia craned her neck to watch the horror as they realized the doors were closed and locked. The chaperons were trying to direct everyone a safe distance from the wolf, who was sniffing at the refreshments and lumbering around almost harmlessly. Then a scream came from the other side of the room and Beetlejuice whipped them around so Lydia could get a good view of the ensuing chaos. One girl was running frantically in circles with a dark object circling her head. It took Lydia some time to realize it was a bat. Another scream quickly followed and she watched as a mummy limped after another group of girls. Then hell erupted even more and panicked screams broke out all over as many of the partygoers suddenly transformed into the actual monsters they mimicked that night.

"So, Babes, whatcha think?" they were the only ones left now in the middle of the floor and he was still leading her in their dance, now sped up to match the beat.

"Beetlejuice this is great! Look at them run! Those monsters won't actually hurt anyone, will they?"

"Nah, Babes, I know you. They'll just chase people and scare 'em into peeing themselves. That's all." He cackled and Lydia couldn't help but grin at him in return. "And now—" with a little spin Lydia's attention caught on the refreshments table, which now seemed to be alive and dragging its way towards the costumed kids with a screeee-thud screeee-thud screeee-thud. Lydia laughed. Bodies were running all around them and Lydia let herself enjoy the ensuing chaos as Beetlejuice led her artfully around the panicked bodies trying to find an escape.

Then the lights went completely out. Worried cries fell to whispers as it stayed dark. Still Beetlejuice and Lydia moved across the dance floor, and he even pulled her closer before whispering in her ear, "Stay close to me now, Babes."

The lights came back on, now all and eerie green, and Lydia saw at once the shadows of ghosts crawling along the walls and the skeletons dancing in the air. It was amazing, really, with everyone staring in shocked silence. And then suddenly the doors crashed opens and the screaming erupted again as people ran for the exits. The partygoers previously turned into their monster counterparts were all now back to normal and made their way out the doors with everyone else. Soon it was only Beetlejuice and Lydia left, still dancing in the middle of the gym floor. Beetlejuice winked at her, he had one more trick up his sleeve, and soon the screams outside doubled as the sprinkler system outside came alive and soaked everyone with green slime.

"Scary enough for you, Lyds?"

"Beej… That was amazing!" Lydia breathed, beaming at him. Damnit she looked fucking amazing tonight. He spun her in one… two… three more lazy circles before coming to a stop and letting his hand drop from her waist, although the other hand still gripped hers.

"Alright then, hell's been raised. Whatcha wanna do now, Babes?" she was still staring around them in amazement. Beetlejuice studied her in the greenish light, all those earlier feelings of jealousy returning. He didn't want to take her out anywhere else. This party had been for her, so he'd taken her, but there was no way he was going to willing let anyone in the Neitherworld see her in that hot little get-up. No, he made up his mind and tugged her close, "Never mind, Babes, I got the perfect place." And he was wrapping his arms around her, enjoying holding her body when she looked up at him with her big, dark eyes full enjoyment and cheeks flushed with excitement.

"Alright, Beej, let's go. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."

It was dark where they appeared, and Beetlejuice twirled Lydia in a circle so fast she grasped at him from the rush. He grinned toothily at this. "I knew you always wanted to come here." He admitted. Lydia peered over his should at their surroundings. It was dark with only the moonlight to light their evening and all Lydia could make out around them was the still darkness of a forest. With a gasp she realized where they were.

"Beej is this the Neitherworld Woods?" she asked as she stepped away from him and closer to the trees.

"Yeeeep." He watched her as she pressed a hand against the trunk of one tree. She thought she felt it sway under her palm and got the deep impression that it was somehow purring.

"Huh." She murmured softly, spinning to face him once more. "I thought you told me never to come here, that it was too dangerous for us Breathers."

"Come on, Babes. You got the Ghost With the Most here, you know I ain't gonna let anything happen to you."

She was smiling in delight, however, and staring at the opening to the sky above them. "Beej, it's amazing."

His eyes didn't move from her as she stared up at the moon. "Sure is, Lyds."

She looked down at him, "Why'd you bring me here, though? Didn't you want to go partying like we usually do?" He shook his head and Lydia's brow knitted in confusion. He was being so… so unBeetlejuice-like. Lydia started to wonder what was up.

"Why are we here, Beej?" she frowned as her question went unanswered, "Beej?" He had slowly walked toward her, the look in his devilish green eyes sending chills down her spine that were altogether too pleasant for her to comprehend.

"'cause, Lyds," he began, "It's one thing to let those ridiculous little mortals see you in that costume. I know you ain't got the stomach for those idiots. It's another thing entirely to let those undead asses see you in it." Lydia was confused, and her eyes reflected it. The way he was walking toward her, even so casually with his hands in his pockets, was making her feel stalked. However, she'd never feared him before and was not about to start now.

"H-how is that?" she managed to articulate a coherent question, which was much more than she actually believed she could do at that moment. He finally stopped before her, only slightly taller than her but she still felt dwarfed by him. Cold breath the same scent as the autumn forest surrounding them puffed across her face. She blinked up at him, waiting for her answer.

"You see, Lyds, people down here don't knew when to stop." He eyes shone green. Funny how his head was tilted down to look at her and no moonlight filtered into them. "And I can't promise to contain myself if one of them so much as made eyes at you."

"But Beej—"

"No buts, Lyds. I ain't sharin' you with any of them. Not tonight." His hand slid around the back of her neck, the cool skin burned by the heat of her. He dipped his head down and took her mouth with ferocious passion that left her weak in the knees. She clutched at his lapels to steady herself but soon felt a strong arm snake around her waist. His mouth moved against hers and she responded as if it was the most natural thing she'd ever experienced. It surprised her how much she wanted it now that it was happening, but maybe not as much as it should have. As she melted into his grip she wondered if maybe she hadn't always expected something like this to happen, hadn't planned for it with her costume and the last couple years of spending most of her free time with him.

He broke away from her and she let escape a little moan of disappointment until she realized she needed desperately to breath and sucked in deep lungfuls of glorious oxygen. The look she gave him made him hot under the collar and her couldn't resist a squeeze of her hips with both hands now.

"Tonight," he began, and was it just her or did he seem a little breathless? "you're mine." He ran his hands slowly up and down her back before capturing her mouth in another ravenous kiss. He kissed like a man starved for it. The wind, still up until now, whipped around them and Lydia knew they were moving. Going somewhere using Beetlejuice's juice. When she opened her eyes again they were somewhere darker than the forest and Beetlejuice was leading her backwards carefully, leaving her lips in favour of her neck. Immediately her eyes slid shut once more and so lost was she in the sensations he was invoking that she didn't protest when the backs of her knees hit something and she buckled backward. They tumbled into what she would soon find out to be his bed: a coffin, faded black with the deepest of purple sheets. What they were made of was unknown but it was soft and textured and amazing under Lydia's fingertips.

"Lyds…" he murmured into her neck and suddenly her eyes snapped open. She couldn't believe she was doing this! Her hands found his shoulders and she shoved him hard. He backed away but did not get up from his position leaning over her, "What's wrong?" his voice was more gruff than its usual gravely tone and Lydia stared at him.

"Beej… If you do this—"

"I am going to do this."

She frowned, "Listen to me. If you do this, there isn't any going back. I'm not a piece of meat like the other girls you've been with in the past. You do this and you fuck it up and I may never want to see you again."

"I ain't gonna fuck it up." He replied simply.

"I'm serious, Beej."

"I'm dead serious, Babes." She cocked a brow at him and he shrugged. "Take it as you will, I'm serious. You are the last person in the entire world, Neitherworld, and universe I wanna fuck over, Lyds." He was just full of puns tonight.

The long silence between them dragged out for what seemed like forever before she spoke again, "I know." It was a quiet admission. Beetlejuice sighed.

"Listen, Lyds, I'm not doing this just because you look smokin' in that costume—and Gods help me you do—but I'm doing this because tonight I realized that if I ever saw anyone else put their hands on you like I want to right now I would rip them into pieces, juice them back together, and do it again." The mere thought of anyone else touching her like he had been, like he wanted to continue with, made his blood boil. They're been together for years, he wasn't about to just let her flounce off and marry some mortal fucktard who wouldn't be able to make her happy like he could.

She was staring at him, he noticed now, and her gaze had gone from nervous and stern to surprised and… something soft he couldn't name. Suddenly he had the urge to make the devious little smirk curl her lips again. He bent low and pressed his lips to her neck, pleased with the sigh she let escape. Warmth was radiating off her in waves as he pressed the cool flesh of his mouth to her warm skin, up her jaw only to kiss her until she was senseless once more. He pressed his tongue into her mouth and at first she was hesitant to respond, but with a little coaxing was dancing with his like it was second nature. He felt her small hands curl into his hair and he broke the kiss only to grin in triumph as he looked down to see her lips curve in that sexy little expression. Her hands trailed down over his shoulder, nails scraping lightly over fabric until suddenly the coat and shirt were both gone and her fingers touched skin. She did not stop, especially after the pleased groan that escaped his mouth as he buried his face in her neck once again. His fingers tugged at the buttons on the front of her costume, popping them open one by one but carefully not ripping them off. Soon his hand was sliding up the bare skin of her stomach and Lydia was unconsciously arching into his touch, her hands sliding further down his back.

"Fuck, Lyds…" he groaned as he cupped a breast in his hand. Her responding sound was a guttural moan that made him harden painfully. He released her to push the piece of clothing to the side, leaning back only to look down at her before he began pressing kisses to her stomach, the muscles fluttering in surprise beneath his touch. One hand slid under her, tugging the silk and lace of her skirt downward, over pale thighs to be tossed to the floor. She was left clad in only her hat, which she removed herself for fear of harming it, her boots, which were too much of a trouble to remove so he juiced them off, and a small triangle of black fabric that served as her underwear.

"Aw hells, Babes." He met her eyes, pleased to find that she wasn't blushing but only watching him nervously.

"Do…" she squeaked and her eyes widened before she tried again, he voice somewhat more normal than before, "Do you…"

"You must be the fire that lit Hell's furnace, Lyds, because damn you are fuckin' hot!" That was all the reassurance she needed as she sat up and wrapped both arms around his neck, dragging him close for a searing kiss that left them both panting for breath, even if he didn't need it. Then she was running her hands all over his chest and by God if this woman didn't make this harder on him because he wanted to take her right here and now but at the same time draw this out for an eternity. He opted, instead, for dragging her into his lap, where her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. He ground his hips upwards experimentally and they both separated to gasp in pleasure, staring at one another quietly before she ground down against him and had him moaning. That devious smiled played on her lips again then as she realized the power she now held over him, and she tried it once more, only this time lifting hers back up as he tried to grind back.

"Dangerous game yer playin'." He warned. She laughed and he frowned in mock seriousness, "'s tha truth." She only did it again. He growled and pushed her backward until she was laying on her back, legs still wrapped firmly around his waist. His mouth fell to her chest and he teased her mercilessly until he had her gasping for air and grinding against him. When he knew he could no longer take it he pulled her legs from around her waist and removed the last piece of fabric separating all of her from him before juicing away the last of his own clothes. Then he pressed himself to her and they were both groaning all over again.

"This… may hurt a little, Babes." He looked up at her and she was surprised by how serious his eyes were, "If you need me to stop, you just tell me." She nodded and closed her eyes as he grabbed her hips before pressing more and pushing himself into her. She was so. Damn. Hot. She gasped, but it wasn't so much pain as an uncomfortable pressure, and soon enough she felt her hips pressing against his of their own accord as that pressure began to dissipate. Did she know what she was doing to him? Probably. He pressed his mouth to hers as he finally sheathed himself all the way in. They kissed for a long time without him moving until she could no longer take it.

"Move, damnit." She demanded and he outright cackled at this, more than pleased to comply. Then he was moving and they were both lost again to the sensations and pressure building between them. He grabbed her hip, levering one of her legs over his shoulder as he began to move faster, growling nonsensical words into her ear. One of her hands scraped down the cold skin of his back while the other gripped at the sheets. One of his hands soon disappeared between their bodies as he rocked against her and suddenly she was gasping, screaming his full name in surprise as she came.

"Beetlejuice!"

He grinned toothily and bent down to kiss her as his hips began to thrust more wildly, less rhythmically and soon he was following her over the edge with a yell. With one last, tingling thrust he twisted and collapsed beside her on the bed.

"Shit." He mumbled.

"Yea." Lydia agreed, turning into his arms. He wrapped them both around her tightly and pressed their bodies closer together. "Hey Beej?"

"Yea?"

"Can you technically be a necrophiliac if the body of your poltergeist has been completely decomposed for a couple hundred years?"

He barked out a sharp laugh, "That's my girl."