Summary: Another tag to 'Dark Side Of The Moon.' The hunters' version of the 'Telephone' game. Roy calls George, who tells Lenny, who calls Carl, who calls Tamara, who calls Rufus, who calls Bobby, who calls Dean and gives him a piece of his mind.
Title from the Creedence Clearwater Revival song of the same name. The original characters' names are references to various pop culture things…Care to guess?
Disclaimer: Not mine.
I Heard It Through The Grapevine
"George? Roy here."
"Hey man. Watcha need?"
"We found 'em. The Winchester boys."
"Oh yeah? Where?"
"Don't matter. Me 'n' Walt, we took care of 'em."
"Both of 'em? Thought it was just Sam we were after."
"Dean made us. We had to, George, or else…"
"Yeah, the man ain't exactly a teddy bear when it comes to his kid brother." (Pause) "You're drunk, ain'tcha?"
"Course I am. He's one scary sonofabitch, if you ask me. I thought John was nuts, but that Dean, man. Thought I was gonna piss my pants, the way he looked. And he said…nah, never mind."
"Well, I guess we'd better call off the hunt then. I owe you 'n' Walt a round of beers next time I see y'all."
"Alright, man. And tell Lenny he still got my silver-plated cold iron knife."
(Laughs.) "Alright, will do."
"Carl. It's Lenny."
"Yeah, hold up a sec." (Grunt and splatter sound.)
(Strained and slightly out of breath.) "Hey, sorry 'bout that. Middle of a hunt."
"You answer your phone while you're hunting?"
"Thought you were Marge.'
"Do I sound like Marge?"
"No! I meant I was waitin' on her call. Jeesh."
"Alright, alright. Anyway, you heard about Sam Winchester yet?"
"Winchester? No, what about him? They get 'im?"
"Yeah, Roy and Walt."
"The Disney dummies? Those two? Oh man." (Chuckles.)
"I know. Funny, ain't it. And Dean's dead too."
"What? Dean? Ain't nothin' wrong with Dean but his daddy's temper and that blind eye 'bout his brother."
"From what Roy said, he ID'ed 'em. So they had to get rid of him. Sounded like he scared the shit out of the two of 'em before he went though."
"Hell yeah, all those Winchesters were scary shit. Okay, man. Thanks for callin'."
"You gonna call other hunters?"
"Yeah, the ones I know."
"Alright."
"This is Tamara. Say whatcha have to say and bloody hang up."
"Hey, Tamara. Carl here. Lenny called. Said we finally caught up to the Winchesters. Sam's dead, and Dean too."
"Rufus, it's Tamara. Pick up the blasted phone. I know you're bloody there. Rufus!"
"Tamara. I take it you've heard?"
"The Winchesters? I've heard."
"Mmm, too bad. They were good guys—that Dean was at least. Good taste in whiskey. I always say you can judge a man by his drink. Well, it's too bad, like I said. I did tell 'em to watch their backs."
"Yeah, well, what I called to ask was, does Bobby Singer know yet?"
"Bobby? How am I supposed to know if he's heard?"
"Thought you were supposed to know every motherliving thing about everyone." (Sigh.) "Look, do me a favor and phone the bloke up, will you?"
"Why can't you check up on him yourself? Do I look like a telephone operator to you?"
"I'm not exactly on speaking terms with the old man. Not since he and those two blighters got my husband killed."
"Alright, alright. I'll do it."
"Thanks, Rufus."
" 'Llo?"
"Bobby? It's Rufus."
"Rufus? Whaddaya need?"
"You heard from Sam and Dean recently?"
"Why?"
"Just for askin'. I heard something. When's the last time you heard from 'em?"
"Last week. Tell me what you heard."
"Some hunters were looking for 'em. Heard they found 'em."
"Rufus…"
"They're dead, Bobby. I'm sorry."
"Ya."
"Dammit, boy. Are you two idjits trying to send me to an early grave? Because so help me, it sure seems like it."
"Uh, Bobby?"
"Don't 'Bobby' me, boy."
"Um, okay. What's up? What did we do this time?"
"Oh, nothing. Only heard you died again, that's all."
"Uh, that. How'd you hear about that?"
"Through the grapevine. So it's true?"
"Grapevine? It was only what, four hours ago? That's fast."
"Four?" (Sputters.)
"Yeah, it was like this. Those two yahoos, Roy and Walt, you know, just barged in and woke us up and Godfather-ed us. Two shots to the chest, bam-bam. Then we woke up in Heaven, met the great Oz, or as good as, and woke up back here again."
"Roy and Walt got the drop on you? Those two incompetent bozos got the drop on you?"
"No, they got the drop on Sam. I was hung over. Ow, you little bitch!"
"And that makes it all so much better."
"Wait, Bobby, so you're telling me the whole hunting community knows we were taken down by them? Man. That's just humiliating."
"Dean."
"Yeah?"
"You boys okay?"
(Pause.) "Yeah, we're good."
"Stop by my place when you can, alright?"
"Okay, will do. Thanks for checkin' up, Bobby."
"You shoulda called me first, you moron."
"Uh, I'll remember to do that next time I die."
"Be better if you didn't get yourselves killed."
"We'll try. But you know us."
" 'Trouble magnets' doesn't even cover it. Yeah, well take care of yourselves, hear me?"
"You too, Bobby. Hey, still got some of that pie left?"
(Click.)