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"Lenore, I can assure you that I cannot fly. Not ever since that--"
"You're being silly!! Now jump! Go on!!"
"I can't fly!!!!!"
"Just aim for the ground and miss."
"That's not possible."
"Yes it is. Watch!"
THUD!
"Oooo...that's going to leave a mark.....you'd be dead if you weren't already."
"Shut up. You're stupid."
"There's no need for insul--"
"Stoopid little freak o' nature. Who can't fly. I have an idea!! I'll help you fly!!"
"NOOO!!! Oh no you don't...you are NOT going to push me off of the top of this hous--AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"
"MISS THE GROUND, RAGAMUFFIN!!! MISS THE GROUND!!"
The little rag-doll fell and forgot to miss the ground. He bounced a few times after crashing but soon found himself rolling down the hill. He had "flown" a decent number of yards away from the house.
"Oops." Well, I guess I'll just try to find my kitty until Ragamuffin comes back I hope he brings soda...." Lenore said as she walked off.
============================================
Squee happily skipped to the park, humming a merry tune. He had been invited by some new kids to meet them at the park after school. He didn't think that his parents would mind if he wasn't home on time(not like there was a set time).
"Shmee, isn't this great? I'm making friends." He announced excitedly to the ball of fuzz from his pocket.
Todd...don't be a fool. It could be a trick! Don't go. Go home instead. Then burn your lousy excuses for par--
"Shhhh! We're here!"
But the park was empty. The swings were unoccupied. No screams of joy coming from the spiraling slides. Squee looked around, calling out for the kids. No response. He sighed sadly and sat down in the sand.
See Todd? It was a trick.
Squee didn't reply since he had nothing to say but mostly because he heard a faint sound. It grew and grew, louder and louder.
"Someone is coming Shmee!!!! It sounds like they're in trouble......." He made a soft 'meep' sound when a black and white blur landed right in front of him.
"SQUEE!"
Back away from it and get a stick.
"Wha-why?" He did as he was told, though timidly, never taking his eyes off what appeared to be a very mangled rag-doll. If Shmee could he'd be glaring at the doll, studying it. He could feel an evilness about it but didn't want to mention that to Todd.
Poke it.
"But what if it comes alive and tries to rip out my eyeballs with toothpicks and Jell-o?"
Poke it, Todd. Try to turn it over on it's back.
He gulped down his fear and inched close enough to the UFO He prodded it a few times in the side and felt slightly reassured of his safety. A few more pokes turned the doll over to reveal a small, dirty-looking doll. It had a patch on it's head and three striped strands of hair. It's outfit was a black and white horizontally striped outfit.
It coughed up sand.
"SQQQUUUUUUUUUEEEE!!!SHMEEITSAMONSTERSAVEME!!!"
Again, if Shmee could he'd be glaring.
YOU!!!
"Huh.....wha.....?" Ragamuffin was clearly still a little bit out of I as his eyes slowly opened.
It's you! I knew it was!!!
"What? Where am I? And who the bloody hell are you?" He asked as he stood up, rubbing his head. Supposing that Ragamuffin was asking him, Squee introduced himself. The doll seemed nice enough, despite Shmee's continuos "IT'S YOU!!" accusations.
"My name is Todd, but people call me Squee."
RAGAMUFFIN!!!
"Huh?! Who said that? Wait, I know that voice..."
Squee's eyes widened in shock. "Y-you can hear Shmee?"
Ragamuffin's eyes widened as well at the mention of that name. There was a pause as his mind sorted out the situation and Squee tried to learn what the situation was. It was getting weird enough. Talking rag-dolls is something you don't see everyday. Unless you is being of the insanity.
Ragamuffin's eyes narrowed at Squee. "Shmee. I remember now. Where is that stupid guardian?"
Todd! Don't get too close to him!! He's dangerous. Just back away slowly and take me out of your pocket. Set me down and stand a few feet back.
Squee obeyed, confused and scared out of his wits. Ragamuffin pointed down at the teddy bear stuffing and growled. "It's you, you pathetic excuse for a guardian!!!"
Oh shut up, vampire!!!! Because of you I lost a kid!
The vampire doll smirked. "Yes. That was quite fun. And a certain stupid little teddy bear was helpless."
"Ummm.....someone please tell me what's going on. Preferably Shmee." Squee whimpered.
Alright. Todd, I should start out by saying that you are not my first child I've talked to. I had one other. A girl. And I was in great condition. Brand new. No stitches, no dirt. The girl was troubled, much like you. Always the victim of alien abductions and the like. But her biggest problem was a certain vampire.
"Thank you, thank you." Ragamuffin bowed but Shmee ignored it.
The vampire visited her every night for 10 whole months. Every night it w--
"HE!!"
Very well, HE would come in through her window and just stare at her. He was not the kind of vampire in the movies that you've been traumatized by. oh no. FAR worse. Instead of simply draining them of their blood he took their LIVES. Yes Todd, that's right. He ate his victims, licking up every last blood droplet. Every last shred of organs and flesh, he devoured. All bodily fluids were--
"I think that you are being a bit too graphic." Ragamuffin mentioned, noticing that Squee was shivering madly with his eyes wide.
Sorry, I'll tone it down a bit although it's difficult when talking about vampire scum like YOU. Anyway, one night the vampire ate the girl's parents when she screamed at his arrival. They had come upstairs to comfort her only to put on a horrible show for her. She held me close as he came near her. Now I must admit that he wasn't going to eat her.
"Yeah, I don't kill children. Even I have a heart."
Oh yeah, sure, and I'm a zebra at a petting zoo. Anyway, the merciless creature wanted to scar this child's life more then he already had. He sensed a bond between me and the girl so he grabbed me and ripped me apart like a dog.
"I dug my fangs into the weakling bear--"
He wanted ME to tell the story, not you!
"Sorry. Go on."
Huge gashes covered me and stuffing flying about. He threw my remains on the floor and left, leaving the girl for nights. I was still alive but too weak to speak to her. So I couldn't stop her when she brought the knife to her neck.
"She..she killed herself?"
Yes. It's called suicide. Something I refuse to let you do.
"Nice job last time."
"But wait a minute.....that can't be the vampire! Vampires aren't dolls."
Ragamuffin, who was looking quite proud and full of himself during the story, suddenly looked a little depressed. "......I'm not a vampire anymore...not really.."
Brace yourself for another story Todd.
"You see, after I was done feasting on the parents of the girl, I was still hungry. I flew up and over the city, looking for anyone crazy enough to be outside at that hour. I managed to find a middle-aged women heading for a restaurant."
Cover your ears, Todd. This next part sounds gruesome.
"Oh shut up!! It's my turn to tell a tale!" Anyways, I swooped down and ate the majority of her in less then 30 seconds."
"The kids at school make me do that with my lunch. And Susie's lunch. And Brain's lunch. And everyone's lunch......"
I told you, just burn them. No one will notice.
"Ummm...right.....then this lady comes out of the restaurant and starts wailing. I ate her sister. Then she raises her hands and they start to glow. It was hit unexpectedly in the stomach, getting knocked into the street. I thought she had made an attempt on my life so I mentioned that I was immortal and gave her my sincerest apologizes."
You ate her?
"Who's story is this? Or were you there when it occurred?"
Sorry. Continue.
"She was a bi---um, not nice person and didn't accept it."
"Thanks for editing that for me. I don't like bad words. They make me think of bad things."
"No problem. Suddenly, out of my chest, came scissors and string. It hurt like hell and I was going to scream but my mouth wasn't moving. And I could no longer feel. I could feel nothing. Before I knew it, I was only a foot tall and limp. A little girl found me and said 'Dolly!'. It was then I realized that I was a doll. The witch had turned me into a doll! I could still see but I couldn't move. Then, from somewhere in my head, I heard a voice saying that a drop of blood would break the spell. To make a long story short, I was only cured halfway. That's why I'm a talking doll........thingie."
Done?
"Yes."