It took forever for me to update. I lost inspiration. I know I hate it when people abandon a story and I am sooo sorry. I will try to finish this story as best as I can. I will update as much as I can. I have to kids, one is 2 the other is 4 months and sometimes it is difficult to find the time.

Again sorry, and I do not own any of these characters or supernatural.

Last Time:

Dean just stared for another moment before he roared. "What the fuck is going on Sam!"

Sam flinched.

Before Sam could even speak, Cas threw Dean into the wall. "Don't you dare yell at him!"

Dean's eyes flashed, but he kept his mouth shut, so Cas reluctantly released him.

Sam opened his mouth to explain, but no words came out. He tried a few more times, but could not find the words to explain.

Dean sighed and sat on the bed with Sam. "Sammy, please just tell me what's going on. I throw away the amulet, which I know I should not have done because it was a gift from you, but I have no idea what has happened since then. It has been one chick flick moment after another and then you say something about dad hurting you and-" Dean took a deep breath. "Please just tell me what is going on. Please."

"You never say please."

"Maybe I should."

"Maybe." Sam agreed. He closed his eyes. In a high pitched voice he blurted out. "Dad sued to hurt me."

"So, I gathered. What exactly are we talking about when you say hurt? He used to run us to the ground with training. And I know it used to hurt you, him being away so much." Dean said, trying to make sense of this situation.

"Yea yea. Stuff like that." Sam agreed instantly.

Dean relaxed about to say how it was normal for some families to have time apart and that their father did his best, but Cas beat him to the punch. "Your father raped, beat and brutalized Sam for many years while you lay in the next room sleeping."

"What?" along with two replies of "Cas!" rang out sharply in the room. "What?" Dean repeated. "What the fuck are you saying?" He turned away from Cas and looked at his brother. Sam was shaking and avoiding his eyes. Suddenly Dean remembered. Dad making him walk to get food, Dad being alone with Sam, sending Dean out, Sam being hurt and crying when he came home, Sam always having bruises, flinching when their father touched him, hating their father, Sam running away again and again and again. Sam relieved to go to school, terrified to come back and find their father, Sam having nightmares every fucking night for as long as he could remember. "Oh my God. Oh my fucking God. Sammy. Oh Sammy." Dean's breathing patterns escalated.

"He's having a panic attack" Sam's voice was distant, far away in Dean's mind as a mantra began. He let Sammy down. Dean let Sam down. I let Sam down. I let Sam down. I let Sam down. "Dean breath!" Somebody was screaming. Dean took a breath, and then another and his heart rate slowed. His vision came back into focus. Sam was kneeling in front of him "I let you down, Sammy."