Watch in amazement as I disclaimerbend: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender. Or Firefly.

The day started off normally.

Which, given the way the majority of the group's days started off, wasn't saying an awful lot about normality.

The day ended with a marriage.

One that no one expected.

Ever.

Because Katara had finally married her powerful bender.

Toph.

"Is that even LEGAL?" Katara shrieked when the village leader told her.

"It was a legitimate, binding ceremony, Lady Katara," the man said calmly. "An entirely unprecedented one, granted, but a legitimate, binding ceremony all the same. You and the Lady Bei Fong are man- er… woman… and wife."

Toph just cackled. "This is great! Make me a sandwich, woman! Your wife is hungry."

The leader coughed delicately. "I can see you need some time to absorb this," he said. "I'll just be leaving to give the newlyweds some time alone- "

Katara rounded on him, eyes blazing. "You are not going anywhere until Toph and I aren't married anymore," she growled. "You're going to help us fix this."

"Nothing's broken, Sweetness," Toph asserted. "And if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

"We can't be married, Toph!" Katara cried. "This can't be happening. I'm supposed to marry a powerful bender! Aunt Wu said so."

Toph was affronted. "You mean I'm not powerful enough for you?"

"A male bender," Katara said, voice cracking.

She began to panic, just a little.

"This is your fault, Toph!"

"My fault? How can you blame this on me? You put those stupid flowers on my head, you gave me that cup of wine- which was stupid anyway, really, giving a minor alcohol- and you made me dance with you. And from the sound of it, that means you married me. I'm flattered, Sweetness."

"It's true," the headman said.

Toph beamed maniacally. "See? Now seriously, I asked for a sandwich."

The door of the hut they were in opened. Sokka's head poked in. "There you two are!" he exclaimed. "We've been looking everywhere. HEY GUYS, I FOUND THEM OVER HERE! Come on, Appa's loaded up, we're ready to leave."

"We're not leaving," Katara declared.

"What? Why not?"

Sokka stepped in, followed by Suki, Aang, Zuko, Ty Lee, and Mai.

"Sugar Queen wants a divorce," Toph informed them.

The air temperature around Sokka dropped several degrees. The air around Zuko became stiflingly hot. Aang just looked confused.

Sokka and Zuko's gazes locked onto the village headman, the only other male in the room. He went very still and pale.

"From me," Toph added gleefully.

Now everyone looked puzzled.

The Fire Lord and the Water tribesman stopped stalking toward the headman.

"That's kind of hot," Ty Lee remarked. Her arm slid around Mai, who settled against the other girl comfortably.

"Is that even legal?" Suki asked.

"That's what I said!" Katara shouted desperately. Her brother's fiancée blinked back at her slowly.

There was a long pause following this outburst. Everyone looked at each other with varying expressions of confusion and outrage.

"Yes," the headman said suddenly. Every gaze turned to him. He flushed. "We've established that it's legal."

"Oh," Suki murmured. "Okay. Um. We'll find a way to fix this, Katara, don't worry."

"What's the divorce procedure?" Zuko demanded. Everyone looked at him. He put his hands up, palms out. "What? I can't marry Katara if she's married to Toph, now can I? And Aang can't marry Toph if she's married to Katara. This is for everyone's good."

Katara turned red. "It's a little early for marriage, Zuko."

"Looks like the cat-owl's out of the bag, Twinkletoes," Toph laughed.

"Everyone shut up!" Sokka called. He addressed the headman. "How do they get a divorce?"

"Well, the man sets aside a wife, if she is too old to bear children, or if she's barren, but an outright divorce is very rare," he explained.

Zuko growled. The headman squeaked.

"It can be done," he was quick to reassure. "The man- er… one of the girls- paces around the woman- the other girl- twice, burning the marriage wreath, in the presence of witnesses."

He smiled. "Which of you will it be?"

Katara glared. Toph cackled, then reached a hand to her hair to pull out the wreath of flowers. She held it out in Zuko's general direction. "A little help, Sparky?"

"Right," he muttered.

To everyone's shock, Aang beat him to the punch, sparking the floral crown alight and saying, "Come on, Toph."

So the Earthbender made two circles around the Waterbender, holding a flaming circle of daisies.

"This is one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen," Mai commented. Ty Lee's hold on her tightened reflexively.

"So… wanna do it, Mai?" she asked exuberantly. "Marry me, bunny-kins!"

Mai kissed her. "Only if you promise not to call me that again." To Katara she said, "Where'd you find those daisies?"

"The field outside town," Katara supplied faintly.

"Don't leave without us!" Ty Lee cried, and the pair ran off, holding hands.

An hour later, the Gaang flew off on Appa, newly married Ty Lee and Mai cuddled up and sleeping along one side of the saddle.

Newly divorced Toph and Katara were avoiding each other at opposite ends of the saddle.

Aang sat on Appa's head, guiding the bison and listening to Toph sing an Earth Kingdom lullaby.

Sokka and Suki were spooning and murmuring to each other softly across from Ty Lee and Mai.

Zuko lay awkwardly by himself in the middle, stargazing. His head was close to Katara's feet, and she was absently finger-combing his hair.

And then Toph said, "I didn't get my sandwich. Knew I divorced you for a reason…"

Crackhumor because I was bored. I really do ship Zutara/Taang/Sukka/MaiLee, though. And I should probably have given the headman a name...he wasn't supposed to have such a big role. Oh well.

Marriage ceremony borrowed from Firefly, because OMG, I love that show. And it works so well in Avatar-verse.