In My Father's Shadow

Disclaimer: The Ace Attorney franchise, all related characters and the Phoenix Wright trademark are the property of Capcom Co., Ltd. and are used here in this work under fair use terms.

A/N: My first fanfic for a public audience. This fic is based on a particular scene near the end of AAI case 5 that I felt got neglected by the writers. Had it been handled in more detail, it could well have been the defining point for Kay's character.
Anyway, here's my take on it. A bit angsty, a bit saccharine, but hopefully mostly inspirational. Enjoy.

Her body wanted to sleep, but her mind wouldn't let her.

Kay stared up from her bed at the slowly turning ceiling fan, spinning silently as the clock on the wall ticked away the endless seconds. It was 3 AM, and she was utterly exhausted, yet she couldn't sleep. Even now, the events of the past three hours weighed on her.

In those three hours, everything she'd believed, everything she'd done for the past seven years – shattered.

She'd come face to face with her. The woman who'd so callously murdered her father in the courthouse, seven years ago, and added insult to fatal injury by stealing his identity as the Great Thief Yatagarasu. Calisto Yew. The accursed enemy.

Seven long years she'd waited for her revenge. Then, when she'd finally had her chance that night, her world was turned upside down.

The feel of Yew's arm around her neck and the cold muzzle of the pistol pressed against her head was still fresh in her memory, but traumatizing as it may have been, it was not what pressed down on her soul at this instant. These wounds were subtler, ran deeper.

The reality of the Yatagarasu – that the woman she'd despised all these years had been as much a part of it as the man she'd revered, cherished – the very thought of it caused her grief. She'd tried to push it away, to hide from it, so bitter it was to swallow. Yet she knew it was the truth, and it would always haunt her as long as she tried to run from it.

Then there was the second revelation of that night – Calisto Yew had not been the one to decide that Byrne Faraday had to die. She was the one whose hands had driven the knife into his heart, but the orders had come from someone else, the smuggling ringleader. It had been nothing personal – no hard feelings.

Kay rolled on to her side, her weary thoughts a tangled mess as she stared out the window at the moonlit night sky outside.

As she'd watched Agent Lang take the woman once known as Shih-na away, she'd wanted to feel something. Schadenfreude at her finally having been caught, perhaps. Or cold contempt. But perhaps it was mostly simple, pure hatred she'd wanted to feel. She'd wanted to be able to spit on the sociopathic bitch, to strike her and make her feel the pain she'd kept bottled up all these years. To let her taste every ounce of venom she thought she had for her father's murderer.

But she couldn't muster the feelings. She couldn't feel anything at all – anything other than a bitter, cruel emptiness.

"I feel like I've peered into her heart a little, you know? And it's so cold, and dark…and incredibly lonely."

She'd known, then, that even if she'd set on Yew and slit her throat there and then, it wouldn't have made a difference. Her father would still be dead, and the one truly responsible would still be out there, out of the reach of justice, laughing at her impotence. The thirst for revenge that she had harbored all these years now tasted like so many bitter ashes in her mouth.

She'd coped with his death for so long by her pursuit for vengeance against his killer, and now Yew had taken even that from her.

They'd kept on going, and unmasked the true leader of the smuggling ring. The one who'd issued the directive to have Byrne Faraday terminated as just another threat to his criminal empire. At this very moment, Quercus Alba was being escorted to a maximum security facility, to await trial for his crimes. Now both the one who'd given the order and the one who pulled the trigger were finally in the hands of justice, and she could finally lay her father's ghost to rest.

So why, even now, did she feel so empty inside, a void inside her heart?

Was it because of that first revelation - that her beloved father was never the lone hero she'd always dreamed of, always aspired to be? Or the second – that her seven-year quest to avenge him had always been futile?

"Daddy…"

It was this final thought that lingered in her mind as she finally fell asleep, a single tear trickling down on to the pillow below.

She found herself alone at the edge of Gourd Lake, the sky reflected clearly on its still surface. Calm, tranquil, soothing.

Kay reached down and picked up a pebble resting on the sandy lakeside. She squeezed it in her hand – it was hard, cold, unyielding. The young thief pitched the little stone at the lake, and watched wordlessly as it made nine heroic skips across the water before disappearing beneath the rippling surface.

She sighed as the pebble sank out of sight. Her eyes closed, the memories flowed back to her, playing in her mind. It was Daddy who'd taught her the art of skipping stones, here at this very lake, when she was but four. He'd taken her swimming, too, on those hot summer days. Boating in the lake, picnics with Uncle Badd, even simple walks in the park as father and daughter. All those little bonding moments, so priceless now that she would never experience them again. Memories so close, yet so distant.

As she gazed out at the crystal clear waters, shimmering in the midday sunlight, she felt a hand come to rest on her left shoulder. "Kay," a gentle voice, eerily familiar, whispered to her.

She turned slowly, even as something told her not to look back, to save herself the emotion. Yet she wanted – needed – to face the voice, even knowing who it could only have been. Finally she was facing him, and she could feel her heart stop beating for just a fleeting instant.

"Daddy?"

She stood still, gazing at him. Her mind was screaming, telling her it could not be so, yet there he was before her, dressed exactly as he was that morning, when he'd taken her to the courthouse for the last time. His face, though weary with age and stress, radiated the same warmth that she'd always remembered. Kay felt herself trembling, fearing her legs would give out from under her if she tried to move or speak. It was all she could do to remain where she was…

He stepped closer, and she sank into his embrace as the tears welled in her eyes. Deep inside she must've known it was all just a dream, a fantasy, but it didn't matter. She was with her father, for just one more time…

Byrne held her close, letting her rest her head on his shoulder, his arms secure around her waist as hers were around his neck. They needed no words to convey the love they felt for each other, a bond that not even death itself could sever.

"Kay…I'm here to tell you something," he spoke slowly.

"Tell me…something?" she murmured, looking up to meet her father's tender gaze.

He held her shoulders, his expression suddenly turning mournful as he glanced away briefly. Turning to face his daughter again, he saw the apprehension – and undying trust - reflected in her green eyes. "Daddy wants you…to stop living in his shadow."

"…F-Father?"

"Kay…I'm proud of the way you're working hard to uphold my legacy and fight for justice." His voice quavered just a little. "But are you doing it because you want to…or because you feel obliged to live up to your image of your father?"

She'd never considered the question before. The two had always been one and the same for her – she'd never thought of anything other than following her father's footsteps. He was all that she ever wanted to be… or at least, he was until that night at the embassy.

"I…I…"

The elder Faraday's voice was grave. "I'm not the larger-than-life hero you want me to be, Kay. I've done some bad things in my life, like anyone else – not least of all the laws I broke as the Yatagarasu. I wish I could truthfully say I'd done my very best to be a good father…perhaps a little too good. But a perfect role model is something I cannot claim to be. I did what I had to do…but I was never as noble as you believe."

He brought up a hand to cusp her left cheek, thumb wiping the tears streaking from the corner of her eye. "But know that I've always wanted the best for you, Kay. That's why I don't want you to just imitate Daddy - I want you to be all that you can be. Do you remember your promises to Daddy?"

Surprised by this apparent non sequitur, she hesitated for a moment before nodding slowly.

"I want you to make one last promise. Can you do that?"

Softly, she answered. "Y-yes…Dad."

"Very well then, Kay. Promise me…that you'll live your own life for yourself and not for Daddy. Always strive to be who you want to be, not what you think Daddy would want you to be. Don't do things to please your memory of me – do them because they'll help others, and make you a better person. Can you promise this?"

Silence. She couldn't say no to papa…but neither could she make a promise she wouldn't be able to keep. She'd already broken two of the promises – far simpler ones - on the very same day he'd died. Could she really…

…no, I can't walk away. I have to. She realized it wasn't just a promise to Daddy, it was a promise to herself – to become someone her father could be proud of.

Taking a deep breath, she wiped her misty eyes with the back of her gloved hand. "I promise, Daddy."

He beamed. "Thank you, Kay. In return, Daddy promises that he'll be always be with you, no matter where you go."

She snuggled into his neckerchief as he held her close, savoring the shared moment.

Slowly, he released her. "I must leave now. Take care of yourself, Kay…and farewell." Byrne turned, and began to walk away. She watched in silence, as he seemed to vanish a little more into the air with each step he took…

"Wait, father!"

"Is there something?" He stopped in his tracks, wheeling around.

There was no reason for it to have been in her satchel, but neither was there a reason for her to have this privilege of meeting her father again, even if only for this fleeting instant. The latter was all the reason that the former needed. She pulled out the packet and presented it to him.

"This is for you, Dad."

In her hand was a single Swiss roll.

His hands trembled as he felt something compel them to reach out and accept the gift. "Kay," he whispered, tearing up. She remembered…

"I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you that day, but now that everything's over…it's for you, Daddy."

Despite himself, Byrne Faraday was overcome by the emotion within. It was his daughter's turn to catch him in her arms as he felt himself collapsing, holding on to her for support.

Once more they needed no words, for this silent embrace was enough.

When Kay opened her eyes again, she was back in her bedroom, facing the early morning sky gently fading in to blue.

That reunion by the lake…was it just a dream? Yet it had seemed so real – even now, she could feel herself in his protective arms, his tender words in her ear…one last treasured moment shared together.

One last moment…

She shook herself out of her reverie. Her father hadn't visited her purely to cheer up his precious daughter – he'd been there to deliver a very important message.

One last promise…

He was right. She couldn't cling on to Daddy forever, no matter how much she admired or missed the man who'd made her what she was. Perhaps they'd loved one another not wisely, but too well…yet in the end, he'd given her the most priceless gift of all.

To love enough to let go…

He'd set her free. Free from having to live up to a fantasy, an ideal she could never reach, and instead be someone she could be. Free to walk her own path in life, unchained to what she thought should be the path. Free to come out of his shadow, and stand in the light beside his memory.

As the first rays of dawn streaked in through the window, Kay slipped out of her bed and made her way to the desk by the window. Opening her bag, she pulled out one of the possessions from when her father had still been alive, one she'd tended to all these years.

Pen in hand, she opened the little notebook – Kay's promises to Daddy – and wrote one last entry in it.

"Promise VIII: Live your own life for yourself, not for Daddy."

Looking out at the morning sky, the sun coming up over the horizon, Kay Faraday finally felt at ease with herself.

A/N: Well, there you go. How was it? Too sappy? Not sappy enough? Just right? Please drop a review and let me know.