Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I make any profit.

A/N: Ok, I usually edit my sex scenes on this website, but I didn't do that for this one, which makes me nervous. I realize people post graphic sex scenes all the time, but I feel like I might be unlucky enough to get reported for it and I don't want to lose my 30+ stories. so please, this story contains graphic sex (maleXmale), don't read it unless you're old enough and can handle it. I hope you all enjoy.

Much love!

TillThatTime

Perfection in Breaking

His captain was on the verge of cracking.

Maybe he was the only one that could see it. Maybe to everyone else the noble man appeared just as intact, just as controlled as he always had been, but Renji had known him long enough that he could see it as clearly as if the other man were advertising it. All those years of practiced aloofness, all that strict training in order to remain unfeeling, untouchable, was failing. Byakuya was losing himself to it, and buckling under the pressure to remain completely unaffected. That façade, that seemingly never wavering façade, was cracking, and Renji could see it perfectly. And he should have been happy about it, he really should have, after all this time of chasing after the other man's heels, forever in that unconquerable shadow, and now his chance was finally fast approaching. In Byakuya's self destruction he would finally have an opportunity to surpass the other man, and Renji couldn't even enjoy it, because every time he saw those pale, elegant hands shake almost unnoticeably, or every time he saw Byakuya close his eyes and just try to breathe, his heart broke instead of soared.

He wasn't sure exactly how it ended up like this, how his animosity and grudging respect had turned into something that more closely resembled…adoration…devotion, but there seemed to be no reverse for it now. Sure, he still wanted to match the man, still wanted to surpass him even, but his reasons for doing so were different now. All he wanted was to see the same level of respect that he felt echoed in those cold, grey eyes. That's why he couldn't stand to see Byakuya this way, so overcome with stress that it was killing him. He wanted to help him, wanted to fix him…wanted him.

Yes, it was true, Renji wanted him. Wanted him like he wanted to breathe. Wanted him like he wanted power. Wanted him so much that he wasn't sure who would crack first, Byakuya under the pressure, or Renji under the pain of seeing Byakuya fall.

He didn't know what he was thinking, developing these types of emotions for a man that so greatly looked down upon him. How could he hope to touch him, please him, mark him, have him in everyway possible if Byakuya only saw him as a lost mutt who would forever be at his feet? Was Renji a glutton for punishment? Would it always only ever be these Kuchikis that trampled his heart into the mud where it belonged?

Renji was a dog, at strong one, a powerful one, but a dog nonetheless, and Byakuya was a god that would only be tainted by Renji's dirty paws. He had no right wanting to touch him, but he did, for everything he was worth, he did.

And there were moments, tiny, insignificant, heart wrenching moments that maybe he thought he saw something more than disdain on those flawless features. There were times when Renji would be standing just a little too closely and Byakuya would tense deliciously and he wondered maybe, just maybe, Byakuya could want him too. Yet, it was only a small hope, one that was barely even note worthy, but this one small hunch and half a bottle of sake was enough to have him standing on the doorstep of the Kuchiki estate at two o'clock in the morning, feeling far more sober than he would have hoped.

He would never be able to consider himself a coward after this.

Still, his hand shook violently as he raised his fist to knock on the smooth, expensive looking wood. The sound was loud and far too abrupt in the quiet of the night as he stood there, waiting for what seemed like a lifetime, filled with more doubt than he ever had been before and he was moments from turning away and leaving with his pride still intact when the door opened.

He had expected a servant to answer the door. He had expected to be led into a room and offered tea while he waited for his captain. What he did not expect was to see his captain standing there, still fully dressed and looking as refined as he always had. Absolutely fucking breathtaking. Looking back though, he really should have guessed. He shouldn't have expected the servants to still be there even at this time.

For a moment nothing was said. Their eyes met and looking into that hard gaze Renji felt like perhaps this might have been the worst idea he had ever had, but then he took a moment to look even closer to notice that those eyes were slightly bloodshot and darkened and Byakuya looked far more tired than Renji had ever seen him, even at near death. No, maybe it wasn't a mistake after all.

Byakuya was the first one to break the silence, his voice soft and controlled, with only the slightest hint of annoyance in that smooth baritone.

"Abarai-Fukutaicho, I can only hope that you have something incredibly pertinent to tell me for you to be standing on my doorstep at this hour."

Renji fought to regain his confidence, or what little of it he had had, as he straightened his posture in front of the most important man in his life. He could only hope that his voice didn't shake when he spoke now.

No such luck.

"H-Hai Taicho…" If it was possible to punch himself in the face at that moment, Renji would have. He really would have.

A perfectly shaped eyebrow arched up at this and he felt like he was being dissected under that scrutinizing gaze.

"Well?" Byakuya questioned, and Renji really wished he would stop doing that.

Fuck, there it was again, that overwhelming urge to just turn on heel and run for it before he did something incredibly stupid. He steeled himself as much as he could, knowing that to him courage meant a hell of a lot more than intelligence, or at least right now it did.

"May I come inside, Kuchiki-taicho?"

Instantly there was a change in those beautiful eyes. They widened in surprise and distinct uncertainty, and Renji had to marvel for a moment that Byakuya must really be tired if he couldn't control that from showing on his face.

He thought the other man was going to say no. Really it made sense that he would. Why on earth would he allow Renji into his home at this hour? That's why Renji had to physically hold back a gasp when Byakuya stepped aside with only a moment of hesitation to allow Renji to step through the door.

With unsure strides Renji made his way in, almost shivering as he nearly brushed against the noticeably rigid form of the noble man. He didn't turn around as he heard the door close behind him, knowing that what he was about to say would be easier if he didn't look at his captain.

"Now, can you inform me of the situation?" Byakuya's tone was formal, the same tone he always used when addressing duty. Renji hated it. It always seemed like such a lie.

He took a deep breath. It was now or never, and he couldn't stand to see this man pretend anymore, at least not in front of him.

"I'm worried about ya, Taicho."

The words felt thick on his tongue, but they came out smoothly enough. He didn't want to turn around to see the other man's reaction so he stayed staring straight ahead. His auburn eyes focused unwaveringly on the lavishly decorated wall in front of him.

"Excuse me?" It was quiet, Renji almost missed it.

"I can tell something's wrong." He answered immediately, figuring that his usual method of barreling through things was fitting for this situation as well.

"I'm not sure exactly what you're getting at, Abarai."

"With all do respect, I think ya do, Taicho." Renji persisted, even as he felt his stomach drop at Byakuya's increasingly icy tone. He really wished he was drunker than he was.

"Then enlighten me." It was a command, not a request, and Renji hesitated. "I'm waiting."

"I think…fuck, I think the pressure to remain in control is becoming too much for ya." He blurted out in one breath, exhaling loudly after doing so. Immediately he felt the reiatsu around him rise and he shivered at the density of it. This was beginning to border on extremely dangerous. Renji wondered how much further he could get before being murdered.

"Turn around, Abarai." Again he hesitated, until a sharp "Now." was added.

"Hai, Kuchiki-taicho." Immediately he spun around, noticing that his superior was much closer than he had been before and the look in those grey eyes caused Renji to involuntarily take a step back.

"You should explain yourself." It was said so calmly, so precisely, so like Byakuya always spoke that it frustrated Renji beyond all reason, even as his fear of completely messing things up gripped him.

"I can tell. Ya think no one notices. Ya think ya've got everyone fooled…and maybe ya do, 'cause ya're helluva actor…but," He took a breath, averting his eyes as he spoke next. "Ya can't fool me."

"You speak too freely. You speak as someone who doesn't know his place and isn't aware of mine. Your ignorance will only hinder your position, Abarai-fukutaicho."

Maybe it was all the years of hearing things so similar to that statement, or maybe it was just because tonight seemed to be a night of truths and there was no going back now anyway, but something inside Renji, something that he had been trying to keep at bay, finally snapped.

"That's right, how could I forget? I'm only a mutt to ya. No matter how hard I work, I'll always be beneath ya, right? Ya can't possibly view me as anything more than that, right?! Even though respect is the only thing I seek from ya… it'll never be enough. I'll never be enough."

Byakuya stared at him for a moment and Renji liked to think that he saw something that was close to regret reflected on those elegant features, and he continued on, knowing that if he did not say this now, he would never have the courage to say it again.

"But that's ok, ya know? I don't expect any different anymore. I can accept my place. Ya're the one who can't accept things. Ya're the one who can't admit when he needs help!"

"I do not need help."

"Oh, shut the fuck up!" Oh Gods, maybe that wasn't the best thing to say, but there was no taking it back now. "Ya always have to be in control of everything. That's why ya're breaking now, because ya're not the invincible Kuchiki Byakuya. Ya're only one man. It's too much for you, isn't it, Taicho?"

Suddenly there was a hand around his throat; a pale, delicate looking hand that was much more dangerous than it appeared to be.

"Tai-cho." He choked out, his own hands coming up to clutch at Byakuya's wrist.

""You tread on very dangerous grounds." There was no longer that formal tone of voice, only white hot ice that was breathed across his face due to Byakuya's close proximity. "You do not know me. You have no right to speak as if you do."

"I know more than ya think." Renji gasped, knowing that what he was doing was so stupid, so fucking stupid, but that shell in front of him was finally cracking. He had to keep going, he had to.

"Oh?" That one syllable was so condescending, so disbelieving, and Renji had to prove him wrong.

"I know what ya smell like." Byakuya seemed to still for a moment, his eyes going wide at the confession, his grip loosening slightly, and perhaps Renji was giving away too much, perhaps if he gave this one last piece of himself away he would never get it back, but it didn't matter, because Byakuya owned his soul anyway, he might as well have everything else.

"Like sakura and sandal wood. It's pretty, ya know? I wanna smell it all the time… I know every facial expression ya make, even if they're not that different. I know when ya're angry, especially when ya're angry at me. I know when ya're worried, even though yer pride wont let ya show it. And I know…more than I've ever known anything in my life, that ya need someone… and fuck taicho, I want to be that person more than I want to be better than ya."

Sometime during Renji's speech, Byakuya's grip had loosened completely until it seemed almost as if his hand was just resting against Renji's neck. He looked almost shaken by Renji's words, his eyes closing momentarily in a rare sign of weakness that left Renji completely floored and humbled that he could force such a reaction from his captain as Byakuya noticeably swallowed.

"Stop it, Abarai. You don't know what you're saying." He insisted so softly that Renji almost missed it…almost.

He almost had him, he could feel it with every fiber of his being. He was almost there.

With Byakuya's grip no longer restricting him, he leaned forward, his lips coming a hair's breath away from a beautiful ear and he had to resist the urge to trace it with his tongue as he spoke. "I know exactly what I'm sayin', even if I shouldn't be sayin' it." Byakuya trembled slightly next to him, and it was so amazing, so incredibly amazing to think that with words alone he was capable of this. "It's hard, ain't it? To always have to be flawless, to always have to impress everyone around ya, unable to make even the slightest mistake. Listen to me, Taicho, I ain't that smart, I realize that, but I am able realize that if ya don't stop tryin' to carry everything on yer shoulders, ya're gonna cave under the pressure. Ya're so hard on everyone else that nobody notices how hard ya are on yerself. Ya're so desperate to achieve perfection that ya don't realize that ya already are. Yer perfection is only marred by yer stubborn ass will to remain perfect."

And Gods, if Renji hadn't said something right in that babbling mess, because Byakuya's breath was now coming in little pants of air, like he just couldn't get enough oxygen, and Renji understood that Byakuya was scared, more terrified than he probably had been in years, because Renji was dangerously close to unraveling something that Byakuya protected so valiantly with ever inch of his pride.

"What do you want from me?" And for a moment, Renji wasn't sure who this person was, who this small, frail, tired person was, because those words were so excruciatingly painful for Renji to hear.

"More than yer probably willing to give."

"Tell me." A plead.

"Huh?"

"Tell me what you expect of me."

And Renji understood now, understood that Byakuya didn't believe that Renji didn't expect anything from him. That Renji wanted to fix him, not add to the weight that Byakuya was already forced to carry.

"No…I don't expect anything from ya. I just wanna not see ya like this anymore."

"I…do not understand."

"Taicho, I just want…" He couldn't say it now. It was the most important sentence of his life, and he couldn't say it.

"Tell me…please Renji." And his knees almost gave out. Never before had he heard that beautiful word come from those lips, or his name spoken in such a way, and he knew that unless he gave himself over now, he would never, ever hear it again.

"I just want ya. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't expect anything from ya because to me, ya're already more perfect than anything I've ever come across. And I ain't worthy of ya, and I never will be, but even if ya kick me out of yer house, strip me of my rank, or kill me right now, it doesn't change the fact that I want ya so badly it fucking hurts."

And he didn't think, didn't wait to see Byakuya's reaction, because he knew if he saw rejection right now it would kill him, so instead without a moment's hesitation he leaned his head down and pressed his lips against the slightly parted ones above him, savoring them for one precious moment as if it were the last time he would ever get to feel them, because it probably was.

They were cracked, unmoving against his own and so fucking perfect that he never wanted to taste another in his life, and it only took that one singular moment to realize that Byakuya wasn't pushing him away and that there wasn't a sword pressed to his throat.

With a desperate, elated sound that he would sooner die than admit to later, his hands rose up and he hesitantly dove his fingers into silky black hair, relishing in the feel of it as he cupped the back of Byakuya's scalp and gently tilted his head to the side so he could have better access to those lips. Byakuya gasped at the feel of those calloused fingers massaging through his hair and Renji, never one to waste an opportunity, took the time dip his tongue out through his own lips and into Byakuya's waiting mouth. The other man tasted sweet and somewhat earthy, a combination Renji could not explain, but it was brilliant and he pulled back only slightly, afraid to disconnect completely as he mumbled breathlessly,

"Please taicho, kiss me."

And Renji knew he must have done something incredibly right in his life, because in the next instant tentative lips were pressing back against his own, and an almost shy tongue was coming out to play with his over eager one.

He would never get enough after this. No matter how much was given to him, it would never be enough.

"Ya're not getting' away, Taicho, not tonight." and with a feral growl and determination he grasped Byakuya's hand and started to pull the stunned man down the hall. He blindly searched for the door to Byakuya's bedroom and it took him far too long to realize that he had no idea where it was as he passed through another hall.

"It's like damn maze in this place." He grumbled, frustrated and so painfully hard he felt like he could hammer nails, and it was only from one god damned kiss. He felt his arm jerk backwards as Byakuya stopped dead in his tracks and he turned around to see what was holding the other man up, and he thought he'd never seen Byakuya look so…nervous before as the noble seemed to contemplate him with uncertainty for a moment before taking a step backwards, turning on heel with practiced grace and leading them back down the hall to a place Renji could only hope was the bedroom.

And thank the gods, it was.

He didn't even take the time to notice the simple, yet refined décor of the large room as Byakuya closed the door behind them before he had his captain wrapped in his arms once more.

"Taicho, please say no now, if this isn't what ya want. I ain't gonna lie to ya, and ya aren't naïve. If this goes on any longer ya won't be leavin' this bed tonight. So tell me now if you don't want me."

Byakuya stayed silent for a moment, as if searching for the right words before he spoke in a tone that made Renji's heart flutter and his knees shake.

"Renji…if I didn't want this, believe me when I say, you would not have gotten through my door in the first place." Renji kept himself perfectly still as Byakuya's hands, that had firmly been planted at his sides, rose up slowly, almost unnoticeably shaking as he reached for the knot of his lieutenant's hakama. With precise, careful movements he undid the knot, and Renji held his breath as his hakama fell open. He shuddered violently as strong hands rose to his shoulders to slowly push the offending garment off. His eyes stayed closed as Byakuya paused for a moment.

"Do I affect you this severely?" He questioned, his tone one of slight wonderment.

"Being in your presence affects me, taicho. Ya can't imagine what it feels like for ya to have yer hands on me."

"Actually, Abarai, I believe it probably feels the same as if you were to have yours on me."

Renji's eyes flew open immediately at that confession and he thought perhaps he had heard wrong.

"T-Taicho-"

"It's would be best if you did not dwell on the things I may say tonight, I feel that I'm not quite as in control of myself as I usually am."

"Hai."

Byakuya's hands once more rose, a little more sure this time to push his shitagi off, leaving Renji in only his underwear. He stood silently as his captain looked him over. He could tell that Byakuya's gaze was following the lines of his many tattoos and he breathed out slowly, trying to regain composure as Byakuya reached out one long finger to trace a dark line on his chest, the tip brushing lightly over one of his nipples in it's exploration, causing Renji to inhale sharply. It seemed that Byakuya did not even notice the reaction with how transfixed he seemed to be with Renji's markings.

"I knew there had to be many, but to this extent I did not know."

"Each one represents somethin' in my past." Renji said through gritted teeth, trying to think about something else as Byakuya's fingers continued to run lightly, almost reverently along his skin.

"An award for goals achieved?"

"A reminder of what it's taken to get me here."

Byakuya's hands left his skin and Renji almost wanted to whine in disappointment before he noticed those hands coming to work at the tie of Byakuya's own hakama, and Renji had to focus hard to pay attention to what was being said to him as Byakuya slowly began to reveal flawless skin.

"Your skin is so marred, everywhere I look you've been touched, and in contrast the only thing that marks my skin is this." He pulled his shitagi off, pointing to the symbol for the sixth squad that was located on his chest, and Renji had to remind himself to just keep breathing. "And yet, this one marking seems to weigh more heavily on me than any of the ink that is on your body." He could tell by the way Byakuya spoke that those words were difficult to say.

Renji knew it was the closest to Byakuya confessing his pain that he was going to get for now, and that was enough, more than enough. He was suddenly leaning forward, his hands firmly gripping a slim waist as his lips descended on that symbol, running his tongue along it, tasting the flavor of Byakuya's skin.

"Ya don't have to carry that burden alone." He growled, before flipping them around and lowering Byakuya to the bed, taking in the look of lust and slight anxiety on that usually stoic face. "Let me carry it with ya." And once again he was crushing his lips against the lovely ones below him, giddily taking in the way they pressed almost feverishly back and Byakuya's arms rose up to entangle themselves around his neck, pulling their bare chests closer together. It was an effort to pull his lips away from those addictive ones, but as soon as he did he immediately re-attached them to the smooth skin of Byakuya's neck, running his tongue along the pulsing vain he saw there before sinking his teeth into a protruding collarbone, causing Byakuya to arch up against him in the most beautiful of ways. He lips descended further until he felt the sensitive flesh of one pink nipple, and pointing his tongue he flicked his appendage across it, noticing the way it began to harden and Byakuya made a delicious sound somewhere above him. He circled it with his tongue before finally closing his mouth over it and he gasped as fingers clutched at his hair as it was pulled free from its binding, causing the fiery red strands to splay out over the hands that gripped them and the chest below him. For a moment he rested his head against that heaving chest, catching his breath, knowing he had to stop for a moment, lest he embarrass himself.

"Taicho… I know I shouldn't say this. It ain't proper. It ain't clean, but more than anything, what I want right now is to see ya come… will ya let me do that for ya?" His only response was an incontrollable twitch of Byakuya's hips as he threw his head back and released a small, almost needy sounding groan. It was enough of a consent for Renji as he wasted no time kissing a hot trail down that gorgeously sculpted body, pausing momentarily to dip his tongue inside the noble man's belly button before teasingly running his tongue along the hem of the only material that now blocked his captain from his view. He grasped the thin material in his teeth, noticing the way Byakuya tensed deliciously under him, before he slowly began to pull it down, watching with hungry eyes as Byakuya's leaking cock was immediately freed to bounce against his flat belly. And if Renji had ever worried that Byakuya might not want him as much as he hoped, the sight in front of him was enough to dispel any of his fears.

Byakuya's need stood long and proud in front of him. It was thinner than his own, though slightly longer, and to Renji it was the most beautiful cock he had ever laid eyes on, but then again, he shouldn't have been surprised, everything about Byakuya's physique was perfect. It was pale like the rest of him, but flushed with heavy arousal, the slit leaking a pearly drop of pre-cum and Renji groaned at the sight of it before lowering his head and sticking his tongue out to catch the bead of moisture, loving the way Byakuya's breath caught and once again hands immediately flew to grip at his hair.

"It's so amazing to think that a creature as beautiful as you actually exists." He blurted out stupidly and Byakuya turned his head to the side, a pretty blush staining his cheeks.

"Do not say such embarrassing things." Byakuya said in between gasps and Renji couldn't help but smirk at Byakuya's embarrassment, but he said nothing in reply as he lowered his head once more, and without warning sucked the head Byakuya's cock into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around it, before lowering his head further, relaxing his throat muscles as he took more and more of Byakuya into his mouth, humming in appreciation when Byakuya began to pull feverishly at his hair. The vibrations caused Byakuya to buck into Renji's mouth and his hands automatically sought to hold his captain down. Noticing that the other man seemed preoccupied at the moment, he slipped a few of his fingers in between his lips and Byakuya's erection letting them tease the delicate flesh in his mouth as he wetted them before he pulled them out and trailed his fingers passed Byakuya's sack to lightly trace his clenching entrance.

Immediately his captain tensed under him and Renji pulled his mouth away to look up in question.

"What do you think you're doing?"

He knew he had to tread lightly hear. This was new territory for Byakuya, he probably had never given someone this kind of reign over his body. He had to choose his words carefully.

"Look Taicho…ya control everythin'. For once give that up, feel what it's like to not be in control."

He knew Byakuya needed this, that Byakuya needed to see that he didn't always have to dominate every situation, that it could be freeing to give in.

Byakuya studied him for a moment, his gaze slightly glazed as he really seemed to consider it, before his head fell back slowly giving that as his only consent for Renji to continue. Renji couldn't help but smile at this not so small triumph before he lowered his head to fully encase Byakuya's cock in his throat before using his cry of pleasure as a distraction for him to slip one finger in barely noticed. He moved it in as far as it would go, relishing in the feel of the Kuchiki's inner walls, before slipping it out slowly and repeating the action a few times. He continued to suck harshly as he slipped another finger in, his other hand coming to rub soothingly at Byakuya's creamy thigh when the other man tensed once more. He parted his fingers gently inside the tight cavern, wincing when Byakuya hissed in pain.

"Relax taicho, please.. You're so wonderful, so fucking perfect. Just relax." He praised as he crooked his fingers upwards, doing a slight mental victory dance when he felt a patch of skin different from the rest under his fingertips and Byakuya arched up gracefully off the bed with a startled cry. He took this time to add in the third and final finger, aiming once more to hit that spot right away when Byakuya clenched his eyes shut and gritted his teeth. He sucked Byakuya quickly back into his mouth, determined to get his lover off to distract him from the pain, when Byakuya called out above him.

"Enough!" He pulled back immediately, and looked at his captain with worry, wondering if he had done something wrong.

"Taicho, I'm sorry-"

"Enough, Renji… I don't want to finish…without you." And suddenly Renji understood and it made his heart soar. Even though Byakuya couldn't say it aloud, he made it clear to Renji that he wanted him, in every way possible, and Renji was going to give it all to him, gladly.

With shaky hands he pulled off his own last article of clothing before crawling up Byakuya's immaculate body and breathed out slowly to calm himself when their bare bodies pressed fully together. He was about to reach down to pull his new lover's legs up around his waist when Byakuya did it for him, and he reveled in the weight of those long legs settling to hook behind his back and the soft skin of Byakuya's arms rubbed against him as the older man looped them around his neck.

"What are you waiting for, fukutaicho?" Byakuya questioned, almost teasing despite the fact that he was trembling almost as much as Renji was.

"Just one thing first, Taicho. I want ya to know that even though I ain't ever gonna be good enough for ya, there ain't no going back after this. I wont let ya go…I can't."

Impossibly grey eyes looked up into his unblinkingly and Renji had never felt so naked before. He knew that even after everything that had happened Byakuya could still reject him, and he couldn't stand the thought of that. Renji had to remind himself what it was like breathe when he saw Byakuya's lips spread into a small, yet excruciatingly gorgeous smile.

"I don't think I could get rid of you even if I tried, and trust me I have. Whenever I'm around you, I have to work twice as hard to control myself, but for a different reason then usual. When it comes to you, it's not about withholding the honor of my family. It's not about duty. It's about not tainting you. You're so…alive…so full of this energy that I no longer have. At first I was afraid that I would only take that away from you, and if I let you in I wouldn't be able to keep up my appearance, my pride, but now I realize that without you, I'm not sure how much longer I can pretend…and I have to keep pretending, and I need to let you in, in order for you to help me do that."

Never before had Byakuya been so open, so candid but all Renji could do was accept it and thank whoever was listening that it was happening at all.

"And I think here, when we're alone, you can call me Byakuya."

"Byakuya." Renji said it slowly, savoring the sound of it as it rolled off his tongue before he dipped his head to claim Byakuya's lips in a hungry kiss. After a few moments he was pulled away roughly by his hair as Byakuya all but growled against his lips.

"Now I believe you were in the middle of something, Ren-ji."

"Hai Byakuya-taicho!" Renji grinned before reaching over to the nightstand that had a bottle of massage oil sitting on it, which was probably used to soothing Byakuya's aches and pains. He watched as Byakuya took the vial from his hands and unscrewed the cap before pouring some of it into his hands and rubbing it onto his fingers to warm it before reaching between them and grasping Renji's neglected erection with no amount of the hesitation he had been showing before. Renji cried out at the sensation of the person of his dreams finally touching him in a way he had previously thought that he would only get to fantasize about. He shuddered out a breath when Byakuya guided Renji's cock to his prepared hole and pulled away to let Renji do the rest. Renji grasped both of Byakuya's strong thighs in his hands as he leaned down to gently connect their lips as he began to push in, breeching that first ring of muscle with only some resistance. His eyes wanted to close from the sheer pleasure of that tightness engulfing him but he forced them to stay open in order to watch that stunning face for any traces of pain. Byakuya's eyes were shut on the other hand, and there was an obvious sign of his discomfort wrinkling his forehead and Renji kissed at the scrunched skin between his eyes, hating to see his lover in any type of pain, especially if it was caused by him. He paused in his movements.

"I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry."

"Enough Renji, do not apologize, not for this." He continued on with his slow glide at Byakuya's encouragement and only stopped when he felt his balls brush against the skin of Byakuya's ass. He waited as patiently as he could for Byakuya to adjust but it was difficult with that intoxicating heat surrounding him and he could have cried from relief when Byakuya nodded his head slowly, those striking eyes opening to look at him with something that could only be described as real affection.

"Move, Renji."

He pulled back slowly before thrusting back in, groaning brokenly at the sheer power of that feeling, knowing that nothing would ever be better than this. Byakuya winced but he did not protest and after a few more of Renji's repetitive strokes, his hips began to move to match Renji's thrusts, his mouth opening in a continuous gasp for air.

"Renji, fuck, Renji!" Byakuya called out to him, and hearing such a filthy word spill from such pretty lips, sparked something inside of Renji and he grasped Byakuya's legs, pulling them up to press them against Byakuya's chest, causing him to slide even deeper and the new angle allowed him to hit Byakuya's prostate dead on, forcing a choked cry from that mouth that Renji couldn't get enough of.

"Byakuya, come for me. Let it go! Don't hold back, not here, not with me." His thrusts became frantic, and he felt his peak approaching all to fast, and he was crying out with every thrust, but he knew Byakuya had to reach it first, before he could let himself fall over that cliff. His pace was brutal, punishing and so loving that he felt overwhelmed by it and he reached his hand down to grasp that pale cock in his hand and stroke it roughly in time with his thrusts.

"Come for me, Byakuya! Only for me! Now, dammit, now!" And that was enough, Byakuya was arching up impossibly and he was gasping as his cock jerked in Renji's hand and his seed shot out to soil both of their bellies, and the feel of that heat becoming impossibly tight around him, the look of pure ecstasy and release on Byakuya's face and the knowledge that it was all because of him was enough to send him plummeting over the edge and he was coming harder than he ever had in his life with a shout of his captain's name.

As he came down from his high, the first thing he noticed was the silent tears that were falling from Byakuya's eyes. He didn't question his lover, didn't try to get him to admit to anything, because it would only ruin the fact that Byakuya was actually allowing him to witness this small weakness. He merely cradled Byakuya against him as he kissed those tears away, his fingers carding through black tresses as he tried to soothe him with his body alone.

"Thank you." It was said so softly and so sincerely that Renji felt the sting of tears that he would not let fall prickle his own eyes as Byakuya pressed his face against his neck. And they stayed like that, basking in the glow of something that seemed so much more important than everything else around them, and Renji knew that things weren't going to be easy, because nothing ever was, but he wasn't going anywhere, not now, not ever.

"Ya're mine."

"Hai."