Why Us?

Title: Why Us?

Summary: The four new Grey Wardens each decide to have a sit down with the Warden Commander, Rayne Tabris, to ask her why she chose them. And in doing so, they find out a little more about her and her time during the Blight.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of course.

Warnings: Nothing that you haven't seen or heard if you played the game. Some spoilers for Awakening!!

Winter-Rae: Saving the best for last! I'm gonna be honest, Nathaniel is epic. I think he's a great character. Sure his dad was a douchebag but Nathaniel is the love! Anyway, this is the last chapter so thank you all for checking this out, you all make me happy. Enjoy!

Chapter 4: Nathaniel – For Hope

Nathaniel walked through the hallways of Vigil's Keep, pausing every few moments when something familiar caught his eye. How many times had he run down these hallways as a boy, nearly knocking over shelves or vases with his nanny running after him and begging him to slow down? Too many times to count and some of them he had forgotten.

Now however, everything was different. Many of his family's things were gone, locked or thrown away, but every once and a while he would come across a familiar object.

At this moment for example, he was standing in front of an old bookcase. It was still filled with the books he had read as a child, before he had been sent away. He picked one off of the shelf and flipped through it, stopping when he came to a torn page. He remembered clearly how it had been torn, and he also remembered just how much his brother had yelled at him for ruining it.

He and Delilah had been fighting over the book when he ripped one of the pages right out. Delilah had been heartbroken as it had been her favourite book; their mother had read it to her often before she died. As a way to try and make it up to her, Nathaniel had taken the page and rewrote it in his then messy script. When he gave her the book with the page he had tried to fix she had been very happy with him.

Even now, the page he had rewritten was still in place, only folded so it wouldn't fall out as easily. He opened it and smiled it his horrible child-like writing. He even spelt some of the words wrong in his haste to fix it. Fixing things had been so simple as a child.

Now however, he had been given the daunting task of trying to recover some of his family's honour, a task that was proving to be not so simple. He couldn't just copy down some words and make everything better again. The fact that he had even been given the chance was something to be in awe of though.

"Thanks again Commander!"

Nathaniel replaced the book and glanced down the hall. Sigrun was exiting the throne room with a huge smile on her face, something that didn't surprise him much. But the dwarf's steps seemed to be lighter for some reason.

"Hello Nathaniel," she greeted when she noticed him, "Nice afternoon, I love seeing that sun in the sky, don't you?"

Nathaniel nodded.

"Yes, it is a sight," he replied, "Might I ask what you and the Commander were speaking about that's made you so happy?"

Sigrun's grin widened.

"Oh a little of this and a little of that," she replied, "Mostly we talked about the Wardens and the Legion, I like being a part of both. I was just thanking her for letting me come along and wondering why she picked me in the first place."

"You're very skilled," Nathaniel pointed out, "Any group would be lucky to have you with them in a fight against the Darkspawn."

"Thank you, the Commander had other reasons though, anyway have you seen Oghren anywhere?" she asked him, "Some of my unmentionables have gone missing...again and I know he had something to do with it."

While that story was too much information for Nathaniel, he gestured towards the doors leading to the courtyard. Sigrun thanked him and hurried on her way, yelling out to Oghren that she was going to chop of his beard, and something else of greater importance, if he didn't stop making off with her clothes.

Nathaniel shook his head and a small smirk graced his face. While he enjoyed both Sigrun and Oghren's company, most of the time, the two of them could sometimes be like children. He continued wandering down the corridor, pausing at the dining hall doorway. He glanced in and saw that the Commander had settled there and was polishing her daggers.

The last time they were in Amaranthine she had purchased a new one and had been itching to try it out on some Darkspawn throats. Nathaniel had to chuckle at the way her eyes lit up when she held the dagger, turning it over in her nimble fingers and running her thumb over the blade. Oghren on the other hand, teased her about having a knife fetish and she blushed, saying that it was sad but true.

"Hello Nathaniel."

The rogue jumped when she addressed him.

"I'm sorry Commander," he said quickly, "I did not mean to interfere."

"Interfere with what?" she asked, turning to smile at him, "Come on in and sit with me for a while, unless you have something else to do?"

"Thank you."

He crossed the hall and joined her at the table.

"How did you know it was me?" he asked her. She chuckled.

"I travelled with an Antivan Crow and he taught me a few tricks."

"You knew a Crow?"

"Yep, remember when I told you that some of my best friends have wanted me dead?"

"Yes?"

"Well he was one of them."

"Oh, I thought you might have been joking about that."

She laughed and shook her head.

"Nope, it's true."

She then looked up from her dagger and held it out for him to see. Nathaniel had to admit it was a fine blade; made of dragonbone and while one could tell it had seen many fights it still was deadly in the right hands.

"Fang," she explained, "That is its name."

"I've never seen its like," Nathaniel replied, handing it back to her, she held up her hand to stop him.

"You keep it," she said, "Call it a gift."

"I'm better with a bow, blades are not my strong point," he pointed out. She laughed.

"Don't I know it, but still, you never know when it might come in handy."

"Why give me this?" he asked her, "Isn't it special to you?"

"Maybe that's why I'm giving it to you," she replied, "I trust that you'll use it well. It used to be my mother's, passed down from mother to daughter ever since the battle for the Dales. But, now I'm giving it to you."

"Wouldn't you rather give it to your own daughter one day?"

Rayne's face fell slightly and even though she tried to hide it, Nathaniel's keen eyes were hard to fool, but that didn't mean he was willing to press a sensitive issue.

"Thank you my friend," he said, "I shall treasure this."

"Good," she mused. Nathaniel watched her for a moment before speaking.

"Rayne," he started, "You are not Dalish, correct?"

"No, I'm not, why?"

"Might I ask where you come from?"

She arched an eyebrow in confusion but indulged him.

"I lived in the Denerim Alienage before I was recruited into the Wardens."

Nathaniel shifted uncomfortably in his chair and a frown darkened his face. Rayne cocked her head to the side and then a look of understanding filled her face.

"I take it your sister told you what your father did to the Alienage when he became the arl?"

"Yes," the Howe growled, "He purged it and slaughtered Maker knows how many innocents."

Rayne sighed.

"Yes, I remember confronting him about it too."

Nathaniel fixed her with his intense stare.

"What did he say?"

"I don't think it would be right of me to tell you."

"If you respect me, then you would."

She sighed.

"Fine, he said that when the cattle turn against their masters that it's necessary to cull the herd."

Nathaniel crossed his arms over his chest and refused to look at her. Rayne lent forward and poked his arm.

"Hey," she said, "I hope this isn't going to drive a wedge between us Nathaniel."

"Why didn't you say anything about it before?" he demanded, "Why even recruit me? I'm the son of the man who killed some of your people. Oghren has spoken to me of Jasper Cousland as well, Fergus' brother. He says that you two are like family, yet you spared me. It doesn't make any sense."

"Well, first off, you never asked me until now," she replied, "At the time I didn't think it was worth mentioning, you already had your opinions of what happened. Anything I said wouldn't have matter then. Jasper is like my brother, yes, but he and I have had our revenge. I have to be honest though, I don't regret what happened."

"You don't regret recruiting me or killing my father?"

Rayne sighed.

"Would you hate me if I said both?" she asked, "If it means anything to you, I didn't land the killing blow, that was not for me."

"Would you have though, if Jasper didn't?"

"Of course I would have."

"Honesty seems to be your strong suit," he muttered, "I don't hate Fergus or Jasper for hating my family; if our situations had been switched I would hate them too. But this still doesn't explain why you let me live. For all you know I'm just like him...just like my father."

"Are you trying to tell me that you're another Rendon Howe in the making?" she asked, "If so, I could kill you now if you like."

Nathaniel was taken by surprise at her boldness. She looked completely serious when she spoke yet he somehow couldn't believe that she would kill him here and now. He had seen how much she was willing to do and go through for the recruits she had brought along with her, none of her actions said that she would hurt a one of them. Perhaps she was going somewhere with this, but he wasn't sure.

"What? No, I..."

"Then stop this, you're his son, not him and in my opinion his sins have nothing to do with you."

Nathaniel sighed and shook his head.

"You're a very strange woman."

Rayne laughed.

"So you've told me before, I had my reasons for recruiting you."

"Such as?"

"Aside from the fact that it took four Wardens to finally catch you?" she teased, "I saw something in you the moment I found out who you were. I saw a man who was better than his father, a good and fair man, a man who could do great things if given the chance. While part of my judgement screamed at me to not keep you around the other part said that I could trust you."

"You're a poor judge of character then," he muttered. Rayne frowned.

"I am not," she insisted, "I have high hopes for you Nathaniel, stop doubting yourself. I can already see the goodness in you, a goodness that your father did not have."

"I do not see it."

"Why didn't you kill me then?"

"I already told you why, I just wanted to reclaim some of my family's things."

"And you have, why haven't you left?"

He looked at her in surprise.

"I'm a Grey Warden now; I have a duty to help defeat the Darkspawn."

"What do you care?" she asked.

"They could kill innocent people!" he snapped, growing angry with her, "Would you turn your back on all of those people, just like that?"

"Your father seemed to think it was okay."

Nathaniel opened his mouth to reply, but then caught on to what she had done. He fell silent, making her smile.

"See, a good and fair man, destined for greatness," she mused, "You'll be a better Warden than me one day, I'm willing to bet."

"Do you have this much faith in all of us?" he asked her. Rayne thought carefully for a moment before answering him.

"I do."

"Then I hope that one day I can live up to whatever it is that you see in me."

"Oh you're pretty close Nathaniel; I wouldn't worry about it too much."

She winked at him with a playful smile on her face.

"Very well than Commander," he replied, "I won't."

She rolled her eyes.

"I'm always surprised to hear something humorous come out of that mouth of yours, enjoy the dagger Nathaniel."

The Howe nodded appreciatively and took his leave.

He was feeling content with their conversation when he heard a barking laugh, a laugh that could only belong to Oghren. He stuck his head into the throne room and saw that Anders was glaring down the dwarf as he continued to laugh. Sigrun, Velanna and Justice could only exchange looks as the mage and the dwarf argued once again.

"At least I don't smell like rotten meat!" Anders pointed out.

"At least I don't run around in a dress," Oghren retorted. Nathaniel could only shake his head at the two of them. He approached Justice and then nodded towards Anders and Oghren.

"What are they on about this time?" he asked.

"The dwarf doesn't believe that the Commander has any use for the mage," the lost spirit explained, "This has caused the mage great distress."

"I'm not distressed!" Anders shouted, throwing his hands up into the air in frustration, making Oghren laugh once again.

"Well fine," Anders said, once again glaring at Oghren "If you're so smart, why did Rayne let you join then? I find it hard to believe that she enjoys travelling around with a moron who is drunk more often than sober."

Oghren scoffed.

"That's obvious," he said, "Because I'm just the right height to give a lady a good time."

"Ewww," Sigrun moaned, squinting up her nose in disgust.

"I find it hard to believe that the Commander would touch you with a fifty foot pole," Velanna pointed out. Oghren wasn't fazed by their insults in the slightest. Justice rubbed his chin as if he was deep in thought, then offered another opinion.

"The dwarf is a warrior of renown," he mused, "This must be why the Commander allows him to remain. His obvious prowess on the battlefield is needed to see that the Darkspawn are given the deaths they so deserve."

"Sure," Oghren said, "What he said."

"What in the Maker's name is all the shouting about?"

The others looked towards the doors as Rayne entered, her hands on her hips, her grey eyes glancing at each of them in turn.

"He started it," Oghren voiced straight away, pointing to Anders.

"Did not!" the mage retorted. Rayne rolled her eyes.

"Oghren, leave Anders alone and Anders, leave Oghren alone," the elf said.

"Pretty boy here seems to think you keep him around because of his sparkling personality," Oghren said with a shrug, "I told him it was time to come down off the pedestal of his."

Rayne chuckled.

"Oh Oghren, you're the one with the sparkling personality," she said, "That and you're just the right height to give a girl a good time."

She and the dwarf shared a laugh and then Oghren turned to the others.

"See, what did I tell you?"

"Andraste's blood I feel dirty," Nathaniel muttered.

"You and me both," Anders agreed.

Oghren and Rayne, enjoying the disgusted looks on the other recruit's faces, took their leave, still laughing. Rayne then mentioned something about travelling to Amaranthine and stopping at the tavern, to which Oghren quickly agreed.

While the others didn't fully understand their Commander, she was a listening ear in time of need, and the one who brought them all together. So despite her obvious eccentricities they respected her and would follow her to whatever end.

Winter-Rae: I was so tempted to add some flirty moments between Nathaniel and Rayne, but I restrained myself, I'll save that for another story. Also, no, Oghren and Rayne are not sleeping together. They are old war buddies after all, so obviously they share the occasional dirty joke here and there. The others are just jealous that they aren't in the loop, haha. Anyway! Let me know what you thought of this, I think this one and Anders' are my favourites. Cheers!