A/N: Sorry it's been so long! Trying to balance this and my other 2 ongoing stories plus real life is hard. I'm sure you understand.

Disclaimer: I don't own it and it's not beta'd.

Garrett isn't very happy when Bella leaves with me. She just waves him off and keeps walking to the car.

It's frustrating because I want her to tell him that she's mine. That's we're together and he could never get between us, but she's not the type to do that. She's not the kind of girl that gets in fights with her friends. She'll give him a few days to cool down, then she'll text him and everything will be cool again.

That's how it goes in our little circle of "friends".

The thing is, when you're an addict, you don't have that many resources at your disposal. Most family and friends from before you started using will disappear. They just fade into the background. They stop calling you and then you realize you haven't spoken to your sister in 6 months.

Because we don't have many resources, we tend to stick together. This is why she keeps going back to Garrett. He's one of the few friends she does have that actually care about her. The rest are just party friends. They come over when we spring for some really good shit and leave when it's gone. It's no big deal. It stopped hurting my feelings a long time ago.

She passes out in the backseat on the way home and I chain-smoke to keep myself awake. I can't remember the last time I slept for more than an hour. It's been awhile. I try to think back, try to remember what day it is, I can't.

Yeah, I need to get some sleep.

I carry her up the stairs when we get back. Jessica pops out of her apartment when she hears us but I shake my head, letting her know to leave us alone right now. She just nods and goes back inside.

I lay her down in bed and pull her sandals off. I crawl in behind her and pull her back until she rests against me. Her hair is in my face when I fall asleep.

…..

Bella's phone is ringing when I wake up; I can hear the buzzing from across the room. I quick glance at the clock and see that I got 4 hours of solid sleep. Not bad.

My hands start wandering her body. I slide her t-shirt up and trace patterns on her back with my fingers. I can tell when she wakes up because she cringes away from my fingers when I get too close to her ribs. I know she's ticklish there.

I run my fingers over one really ticklish spot a few times before she rolls over to face me.

"Good morning." My voice barely sounds like my own, it's so scratchy. I seriously need to quit smoking.

"It's not morning anymore…" She trails off, eyes shining. I've always loved her first thing in the morning. It's my favorite time of the day. When she's nothing but bed head and creamy skin. Lying next to me like this, she is everything.

In this bed, this room, we are in our own world. There is nothing outside of this room.

"And I will remember your small room. The feel of you, the light in the window…" My voice is next to nothing right now, but I find the words for her.

But she's right there with me.

"Your records, your books, our morning coffee, our noons, our nights…" And her voice is from a dream.

"Our bodies spilled together, sleeping…" My words are a whisper against her cheek.

I kiss her lightly. Once, twice, three times. Her lips are so soft. She is so soft and I can't get enough of it.

3 kisses turn into 10 and my hands are impatient. They're running over her back, her legs, they're in her hair. I'm trying to fight it, I really am. I want to keep this moment forever. I want to make this last.

We've always had this, though. This fire. I burn for this woman.

Her shorts come off somewhere in there. I don't even know which one of us does it. We're a mess of hands and lips and hair. So much pulling and pushing between us.

But then she's just as impatient as me, because she's pushing me to lie down and climbing on top of me.

When she puts me inside her, there is only love in this room. Nothing compares to watching her move over me, to playing with her when she slows her pace down, to feeling the ends of her hair tickle my fingers.

…..

We play around in the shower afterward. She tells me all about her vacation and seeing her family.

Once a year Bella's parents pay for the entire family to take a vacation together. She has a lot of siblings, so it ends up being a big deal. I never go.

They invite me, but I never go. A huge part of me is terrified. If I go, there's a chance they'll confront me about my using. And her using. I'm sure they blame me. How could they not, right? I did this to their daughter.

Bella tells me about her sisters. How they're getting older. She's the oldest of the girls and the second oldest out of all the kids.

"I'm just worried for them." She leans over to dry her hair while she talks.

"Worried about what exactly, baby." I know what she's going to say, but I still want to hear her say it.

She gives me a look, like the answer is obvious. It is.

"Edward, I got into so much trouble when I was their age and you know how they are. I don't want that for them. I know they have to make their own mistakes, but I wish they'd listen to me about this."

"Baby. Look at me." I wait until she's making eye contact with me to continue.

"Your sisters are going to be fine. Every kid has to go through this shit. We know all about it, right? I promise you, they're fine."

I tell her all of this even though I don't completely believe it. The thing is, Bella's younger sisters are wild. Way more so than Bella.

"I just hope they're being smart, ya know? They never talk to me about anything. I feel like a 3rd parent or something! I'm their sister; they should be able to talk to me."

She keeps going before I can respond. She's putting lotion on her legs while she talks and I'm mesmerized.

"And you should've seen them on that beach, Edward. You should've seen their suits. And the way the locals were looking at them…"

And this is where I draw the line. Time to change the subject.

"And what about you, hmmm? Were the locals looking at you?" I pull her toward me and squeeze her ass.

"No one was looking at me Edward." She glances down at herself when she says it.

She thinks her boobs are too small. We've had this conversation a few times already, but I know she's just insecure about it.

Just for that, I make a big show of sliding my hands up over her body and around to her tits.

I'm not sure what has made her so insecure about this. Maybe it's because she's lost some weight since I met her. She's definitely thinner than before, but she's still perfect to me. I love every inch of her.

"Hmmm, I bet they were staring at you." She fits perfectly in my hands and I wonder if a bunch of guys really were staring at her. I'm sure she got some looks; she always does when we go out.

I never have to deal with other guys, anymore. Everywhere we go, people know us. They know we're together.

At the beginning though…the beginning was bad.

I remember the anger building and building inside me. Seeing guys stare at her across the room, continuously watching them approach her only for her to shut them down, keeping myself in check because her skirts are always really fucking short.

Then, after a while, I calmed down some. Maybe it was because I loved seeing their faces when she left with me for the night. I loved that feeling.

Like I had the prize everyone wanted.

Now, though, now I barely notice it. I'm sure she still gets that when she goes out without me, but I've learned to deal because she comes home and gets in bed with me.

So now I'm going to show her how good I can make her feel.

I kiss her lips, then her neck, then her shoulder. She smells so good after our shower.

My tongue touches every part of her tits. I spend so much time there. Showing her that I love her. Her body, her everything.

She accepts everything I give. Her head rolls back and she goes limp in my arms.

I sit on the bed and she sits in my lap. Naked, except for her panties.

I kiss her and kiss her and wrap my arms around her so I can cup her shoulders while I bite at her chest. My teeth graze her skin and I wish I could keep this taste in my mouth forever. I wish I could keep my mouth on her always.

When my fingers touch her, she's already so wet. She writhes around on my lap while I fuck her with my hand. She rises up a little bit and then lowers back down, using my hand how she wants. I encourage her. I tell her to do whatever she wants, to show me how she likes it. I tell her how much I love her body. How hard she makes me. I tell her about what I would do when she was on vacation and I was missing her. I tell her of what I thought about late at night when I was alone in this bed.

She keeps going while I suck on her nipples. She fucks herself with my hand and when she's coming, her thighs are shaking.

I hold her for a long time afterward and tell her about what I did while she was gone. She cries a little bit and we both agree that we can't fight anymore. It's not good for either of us.

By the time we've rinsed off in the shower again, it's past 6. It's then that I realize I haven't had a hit since this morning.

We crawl back into bed and watch old reruns of Mad About You. We eat junk food and pass out when the infomercials come on.

A/N: Thanks!