You can't say I don't fulfil my promises!

This was originally meant to be a oneshot. As you can probably tell from the way it now has a prologue, this didn't quite work out. In fact, it now has seven chapters, which says a lot about how good my estimations are.

What with exams and revision and uni applications and all the rest of it I'm afraid I still haven't got around to making enough money to buy the rights to Torchwood. So the characters still don't belong to me – they're just borrowed. When I've finished maltreating them I will send them back. Well, apart from maybe one or two… (Or five, possibly)

Prologue

Tuesday 31st March

The Hub was shutting down for the night.

Tosh and Gwen were already gone; Owen and Ianto were on their way out. Jack, however, had other plans.

"Owen! Ianto!"

Grumbling, Owen put his coat back down and headed over to his boss's side, wondering what on earth they were wanted for now. Ianto looked almost as perplexed. "Sir?"

"I know I'm going to regret saying this, but do you know what day it is tomorrow?"

"Wednesday. And why can't you just look at the calendar?"

Ianto waited for Owen to stop moaning and then supplied the answer Jack was looking for. "April fool's day, sir."

"Exactly! One of the best traditions in the galaxy! And do you know what that means?"

"We should all avoid coming into work tomorrow?"

"No, Ianto. It means that we have to think up something for the newbie!"

Ianto froze, all the horrors of last year rushing back, then relaxed when he remembered that he was no longer the 'new kid' at Torchwood. Meanwhile Owen's grin had got even larger – if that were possible – as he took in what was being said. "Gwen?"

"Yep! So – what's the plan?"

"You mean you haven't got a plan?" Ianto sounded slightly surprised.

"Well, I have a few ideas…"

"Lock her in a cell with a weevil."

"Thank you, Owen, but I'm afraid that may be taking it a bit too far." Jack paused. "Ianto, have you got any ideas that don't involve seriously injuring anyone?"

Ianto was busy making a mental note not to go anywhere near the cells tomorrow morning whilst Owen was around. "Sorry? Oh – can't we just send her off on some wild goose chase somewhere?"

"Excellent plan!" Jack enthused, having already put the idea down on his own list. They hadn't used that one for a few years now. "Where?"

"Err… There are some empty warehouses across the city from here. Huge places. Attics, cellars, everything. You could spend hours searching for imaginary aliens in them." Ianto smiled slightly at the thought of Gwen hunting in vain.

"We'll need to make sure we can access her comms from there." Owen remarked, grinning widely. "I really want to hear what she says when she finally works out it was all a hoax."

"I'll sort something." said Jack confidently. "I'll give her a briefing tomorrow, if you'll sort out some fake sightings reports, Ianto."

"Will do, sir." Ianto promised. "Oh – and do we need to tell Tosh anything?"

"No, we'll just let her know when she comes in." Jack wasn't really sure that Tosh would appreciate this kind of thing – she certainly hadn't when it had been her turn. "So, is that all sorted?"

There were nods from the other two. Owen seemed to be on the verge of bouncing up and down in anticipation, and even Ianto looked to be holding back a grin at the thought of the next day. Jack grinned too as he watched them go. He'd get them as well, just you wait.

And you have to wait too, I'm afraid. But not for long.

Please review – it'll take my mind off the revision. Perhaps long enough for me to get down to some writing….?