Last chapter. Excuse the lame virgin sex, can't be too kinky with such an incompetent couple.

"Gaap is insane, isn't she?"

Battler stared at a big plastic bag that Beato had laid on his lap, full of small boxes.

Condom boxes.

"Why does she think we need thirty boxes of condoms anyway!"

"She just wanted to help~ Gaap said she didn't know what size to buy so she just bought all of them. And then she got carried away buying all sorts of types, too..."

"... What's that supposed to mean... of course it has to be the biggest size." He muttered to himself, half-joking, half-serious, and buried his hand in the bag. "Whoa— Fluorescent! Are you kidding?"

"Let me see, let me see!" She grabbed the box and cackled loudly when she read the label. "We should use these! C'mon, Battler~"

"I'd love to, but it isn't dark enough here for them to work... Here are some colored ones, too."

"Mu, but that sounds so boring..."

They kept looking through the bag together, until Beato took out one of the boxes with a triumphant smile.

"Hey, I think this size will do, Battler." She showed him the box and he frowned. "Just trust me, will you? My thighs are never wrong! Kyahahahaha!"

He chuckled along— that vulgar, loud, contagious laugh of hers...

"Fine. That one has flavors, though, let me look for a norma..."

"Flavors?" Beato's eyes widened. "That's amazing!"

"Ama-? Hey, don't OPEN it!"

But it was too late. Smiling like a naughty child, her blue eyes scanned the odd, circular shapes trapped in small squares, and Battler watched, a bit amazed with her reaction.

'Honestly. You could act more like a lady and be embarrassed or something...'

... Then again, he wouldn't love Beato if she were a refined, modest lady, would he?

"Uwah, strawberry?" Beato's excitement was almost obscene, and she opened the condom, carefully picking it up when it fell on her lap. "Amazing, don't you think?" Battler raised an eyebrow.

"Amazing is not the word I'm looking for. Wait, what... Don't put it in your mouth, you idiot!"

"...Mu. Aren't you curious, Battler?" She paused, and grinned again. "Oooh. Or you wanna try it first~?" Battler grimaced and she cackled loudly, throwing her head back.

"You have serious issues, Beato— Don't eat it!"

Battler nearly slapped her hand, feeling, for a moment, like he was dealing with a little kid.

... It didn't help that Beato puffed her cheeks and pouted right away.

"... I wasn't going to eat it, you idiot. I just wanted to taste it a bit..."

"Taste... it..."

"That's right. I loooove strawberry~"

But Battler wasn't listening— eyes shining and lips curving in a mischievous grin.

"Ihihi... hihi... Fine then, Beato... I have a better way for you to taste them properly, though..."

She tilted her head.

"Huh?"

...

... Fool...

It was the only word that would come to Beato's mind.

And she repeated it constantly, heart beating as if ready to explode and cheeks burning with embarrassment that was uncommon in her.

Fool, fool, fool...

"Y... you sure are cunning, Battler..."

"What are you talking about? This is what they really are for, so it's only natural it'd come to this, right?" A small, fake smile was the only answer he got. "Hey... don't blush so much. You're making me feel embarrassed now, too..."

It had only taken less than 10 minutes for them to end up like that. After what felt like an awkward sex ed. lesson led by the very straightforward instructions of the condom box, they had finally figured out how to use them. Of course, Beato hadn't known what had been going on in Battler's mind— And as she kneeled between his legs, she realized how dense she had been. Resigned, she played with the elastic rubber timidly, pulling it down as much as she could, and slowly opened her lips, only to hear Battler hold his breath above her.

Stupid. Idiot. Pervert.

Her body shook, and her mind tried to deny how much she wanted it too as her lips landed on top of his cock.

"Mh."

"Nn..."

Battler kept his hips from thrusting up to enter that warm, welcoming entrance, afraid that he would hurt her— and hurt himself in the process. It was mind-numbingly hard, though, especially as she teased the tip with her tongue, short, rhythmical strokes making his hand twitch on her head accordingly.

"S... stop torturing me already..." But the golden beauty just chuckled, licking her lips.

"You told me I had to taste it properly, right?" And she graced his shaft with a long lick before giggling maliciously. "See I can play that game too, Battleeerrrr~"

"Damn you...! Just wait until I- G... ah...!"

He stooped violently, his fingers jerkily pulling her blonde locks as she swallowed him whole, tongue clumsily stroking and moving as his gasps dictated. Her throaty moans compensated for her teeth caressing his skin every so often, erotic noises distracting him from the pain and making him groan as well, wanting to thrust deeper—

"S... stop, stop, I'll come..." She made a noise that he assumed was a laugh, and finally let go of him.

"You sure are weak, Battler~... Or am I that good? Fufu..."

"Well, being as perverted as you are, I guess you were born to do this!" Beato's eyes widened and she let out an undignified sound.

"W... what is that supposed to mean!"

"It means shut up."

So rude— Yet the way he smiled when he said it made it sound like a gentle shush, and the atmosphere was once again heavy. Beato let herself be carried and undressed, and her own hands danced around the buttons of his shirt.

Ah, just how many times had they gone through that little ceremony?

"I'm almost expecting teacher to appear out of nowhere and interrupt us..."

"Tch. I'd keep going anyway."

"Kukuku, you'd die~"

"A happy man."

Beato cackled again and kissed his forehead, hot and flushed as the rest of his face.

"You really are desperate, Battler~"

"Maybe~" He mimicked. "But I'm not the only one, am I?"

She jumped when his fingers tiptoed between her warm lips, already humid and expectant. All Beato could do was mutter curses, though, because she couldn't deny it anymore— And so, they were once again at the same level, neither on the lead as both bodies pathetically begged for more.

Beato's mouth opened in a silent gasp when he made her legs hug his waist, and she felt him rub himself against her entrance— Ah, that feeling was familiar, too, and she couldn't help but gulp.

They were going to finally...

"I... I'll..."

"Mh..."

She cupped his face with her hands, sliding down his neck to his stomach when he finally entered her— a bit too fast, too. Her fingernails scratched the skin of his waist, and Battler stopped in his tracks.

"H... hurts?"

"O... Of course it does, idiot...! B... but don't stop or it'll be worse..."

Battler couldn't contain a sigh of relief.

"Hah... I think I'd die if I did..."

Because even if he was half-way in, he already felt too good, and he drowned in that pleasure, feeling just a bit guilty whenever she wriggled uncomfortably under him. And once he was completely in, a growl escaped, both bodies shaking.

"H... how is it...? Does it feel good?"

"I don't know..." Her eyes were moist and she looked a bit distressed— And Battler thought, almost cruelly, that it was an expression that suited her impetuous self just fine. "F... feels weird..."

"Tch... are you going to tell me that I'm not big enough or something?"

"N... no... It feels... it feels full... Ah!"

He couldn't really control it— His hips suddenly moved in a small thrust and his cock twitched inside her, making them moan in unison.

"Y... you are going to kill me, you damn woman."

Both inexperienced, all they could do was leave it to their instincts— They had, after all, fantasized about it for weeks, and though their movements weren't as smooth as they had thought they would be, they tried their best to please each other with kisses and words of encouragement, guiding each other through their bodies. Establishing a rhythm was difficult, though, and they chuckled and giggled when their movements didn't match, exchanging nervous looks from time to time.

Difficult, but not impossible.

Laughs soon turned into silent gasps and not-so-silent moans once their hips moved accordingly. Beato felt that uncomfortable pain disappear as he rubbed himself against her insides, pushing buttons her fingers never reached before, and, remembering his lasts coherent words, she wondered who was killing who.

"S... slow down! Wait, wait...!" She grabbed onto his hips, trying to control his thrusts, but it was useless— He was way too strong for her and just kept moving at his own pace.

"Don't ask me for the impossible, Beato... Your pussy is just... dammit..."

Battler was unable to finish, pulling almost completely out of her and then thrusting hard again, as far as he could go. Beato arched her back with a cry and kept whimpering as he followed with short, fast thrusts, the amazing feeling of her wet walls clenching around him faster and faster as if encouraging him— and he obliged, unaware of her nearing orgasm. A few tears escaped Beato's eyes, senses overwhelmed, and her voice rose once again high and weak.

"Bah... Battler if you.. if you... if you don't stop, I'll...! I'll...~!"

"Whoa—hah!"

She held him tight in her arms as she came, her entire body trembling violently. Battler groaned as well, her slippery walls clenching around him spasmodically, as if asking him to release—. And it was with a frustrated moan that he came as well, early, but no less satisfying.

"... Dammit, Beato, that was too soon."

"Shut up... I couldn't help it..."

Snickering at her satisfied expression, he brushed her fringe back and kissed her sweaty forehead.

"Heheh... you made me come, too, you bitch— didn't want it to be over so soon. I've been waiting a long time for this, after all... He... Hey don't give up on me!" He pinched her cheek, her eyes closing slowly.

"Leave me alone... I'm tired..."

"You're too cruel, you know."

"Iiidiot."

She hugged his head and he buried his nose in her breasts, both smiling stupidly even as they heard the Siestas approaching the storage room.

"Aaaah~ We're so expelled~." Battler sang, and Beato giggled along.

"If they find us like this, though, you'll also be dead." She kissed him one last time before pushing him away. "Teacher will kill you if she finds out..."

"... that I deflowered you before marriage? Tch. I'll just marry you then."

"Heh~ Why would I need an incompetent husband like you?"

"Because you're an idiot. And idiots have to stick together, right?"

"... Shut up, you useless man."

He grinned and she soon answered with a gentle smile, as if realizing how lucky they were— even if they were unaware of how special that one little fragment they lived in was.

... That one little fragment, probably unique.

But it existed, away from the voyager witches and the red and blue logic battles, away from Bernkastel's cruel laughs and games—

The one fragment where the foolish lovers got a happy ending.

I don't know ;_; I'm just glad it's over.