Here is is - the last chapter...

This chapter is largely smut... Not graphic I dont think but definite smut. Read at your own risk!

** rated M**

Unforgiveable – Chapter 11

***One week later***

Emily stumbled into the kitchen in her pyjamas and dressing gown. Still foggy from sleep, she was surprised to see Hotch sitting calmly at her kitchen table. Dressed in a dark suit and crisp white shirt he looked "all business" and she could scarcely believe it was the same man who had hugged her for hours the night before.

"Good Morning." Hotch glanced up at her from the newspaper he was reading as he addressed her.

"Hey. Sleep well?"

"I should be asking you that." He put the newspaper down and offered her a cup.

"Thanks." Emily sat down self consciously, adjusting the robe around her waist. Sitting there next to her boss in his perfect suit she felt hopelessly underdressed in her pyjamas and robe.

Hotch noticed her discomfort and smirked at her devilishly. "Nice do."

Emily grinned back at him, pleased to get another glimpse of the rarely-seen dimples. Yep, this was the man who had hugged her yesterday alright.

"Thanks. I try. You heading in to work?"

"No. I just thought I'd dress up and make you breakfast." Again the dimples. "Yes I am heading into work. I have a meeting with Strauss this morning."

"Oh." Emily felt her pulse quicken. "You're not in trouble are you? Is it to do with me?"

"I don't know." Hotch shrugged and picked up his briefcase. "Don't stress about it. Dave and I can handle Strauss. I'd better go."

***/**/***

"Agent Hotchner. Please have a seat." Strauss closed the office door as Hotch sat down uneasily. Was he about to get his butt kicked again? Had one of the team finally connected the dots and reported him?

"How is Agent Prentiss this morning?" Hotch grimaced as she continued. "...Agent Rossi informed me that you were overseeing her recovery yourself."

Hotch was confused, there appeared to be no malice implied towards him in her words or body language. What the hell had Dave said to her? What was this meeting about anyway?

Hotch cleared his throat. "I am and she seems to be doing well. I expect she will want to return to work soon."

"Yes. About that – I think that under the circumstances... after what she's been through..." Strauss eyed him cautiously. "You do know what I'm referring to don't you?"

"Yes I know." Too well, he thought.

"I think it would be prudent to have Agent Prentiss undergo a psych evaluation before returning to work. Just to be sure."

Hotch felt himself relax slightly. Was that all she wanted?

"Yes Ma'am. I was going to suggest the same thing myself."

"Good. See that it happens then."

Strauss rose, the meeting was over and Hotch had survived, unreported, yet again. He turned and reached for the doorknob.

"And Hotch?" He stilled, had she really just referred to him as Hotch?

"Yes."

"Thank you for looking after Emily. Take good care of her."

Hotch nodded speechlessly. Strauss thanking him for something? Who was this woman and what had happened to the real Strauss? If only she knew... he thought...

***/**/***

Emily was dozing lightly on the couch when awakened by a knock on the door. She sat up quickly.

"Hotch?" Glancing through the peephole she was surprised to see not Hotch but JJ standing in the hallway.

Emily unlocked the door and opened it hastily. "Morning JJ."

"Afternoon actually." JJ corrected her. "I was thinking you might like some lunch." She held up a paper bag she was carrying. "Muffins?"

"Thanks." Emily's appetite had returned and she accepted the muffin gratefully.

"Is Hotch not feeding you?" JJ smirked.

"What? I can feed myself!" Emily was indignant. "I'm not totally helpless JJ!"

"I know silly... just kind of nice to have a hot overprotective man looking after you sometimes, don't you think?"

Emily groaned and felt her face redden. Did JJ really have to use the word "hot" when referring to their boss?

"So what's new at work? Have I missed anything?" Emily remembered Hotch's meeting with Strauss this morning and was afraid to ask. "Hotch had to meet with Strauss this morning. He hasn't called me yet. I hope everything is okay."

"Really?" JJ looked surprised. "I saw him on my way out of the office; he looked perfectly fine to me... happy even."

"What? He frowned slightly less than normal?" Emily smiled, things must be okay with Strauss. "How are the rest of the team doing?"

"Well... we all miss you. Looking forward to having you back. Everyone will feel a bit more relaxed when you're back. We've all been worried."

Emily rolled her eyes. "I'm fine JJ!"

"I know that and Hotch knows that but the others..." JJ shrugged. "Rossi feels guilty for keeping your secret from Hotch, Garcia and Morgan chat about what revenge they would like to exact upon the culprit should they ever find him and Reid... well Reid just looks kind of shellshocked."

"And Hotch? How is he dealing with all that?" Emily frowned and bit her lip.

"Under the circumstances... pretty well. He kind of disappears when Garcia and Morgan start their tirades, and he won't look me in the eye..."

"He knows that you know." Emily confirmed.

"Yeah but I don't hold any grudges... well, not really..."

JJ helped herself to another muffin to cover the uncomfortable pause.

"Speaking of Hotch... What's it like to be living with the 'boss man'?" JJ imitated Garcia's pronunciation of "boss man" perfectly.

"We're not living together JJ!" Emily could not keep the exasperation out of her voice. "It's not like that."

"Well... maybe not yet... Just a matter of time."

"JJ!"

"Well you both admitted how you feel. What's stopping you?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that." Emily frowned. "There's work and stuff."

"Oh." JJ looked awkward. "Yeah I guess it would be a little weird after everything..." She trailed off. "Does he make you nervous?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know... when he touches you the first time. It might make you freak out."

JJ looked uncomfortable and Emily giggled at her unease. "Oh I don't think that's going to be a problem."

***/**/***

Emily took a deep breath as she entered the office. She hadn't seen her teammates in almost two weeks , since the hospital and was nervous about her first day back. She knew it was totally irrational but even so could not help worrying that they would be angry at her for not confiding in them. Hotch noticed her discomfort and paused as he opened the door for her.

"You okay? You seem a bit... anxious." He stared at her and wrinkled his brow in concern.

"I'm fine." Emily replied, reconsidering her answer as she met his gaze. Even in the office Hotch always had a way of "x-raying" her with his eyes and she felt she could hide nothing from him. "I am nervous actually. Not sure why."

"Don't be. Everything is going be fine." Hotch smiled at her and Emily smiled back, 'damn those dimples!' she thought.

"Hey welcome back!" Morgan and Garcia took turns embracing Emily as Reid waved shyly from his desk. Rossi and JJ stood back grinning, awaiting their chance to greet her.

"Come on guys – give her some space." Hotch commanded as Rossi began hugging her, in Hotch's opinion, a little too tightly.

"Jealous?" Queried Reid rather timidly, from his desk.

***/**/***

"So how was your first day back?"

Emily and Hotch walked towards his car, bags and files in hand.

"Fine. I'm not sure what I was so worried about."

"Scared of your boss giving you a hard time?"

Emily giggled. "Well it is a little weird, you know, us working together and you staying with me and everything. Doesn't seem to bother anyone though."

"No. Strauss even thanked me for looking after you so well."

"WHAT?" Emily felt her jaw drop. "She knows you're staying with me?"

"Yeah Dave told her. Not sure what he said to her but she seems to be okay with the situation."

"Remind me to buy him dinner sometime." Emily shook her head. "How he controls that woman I will never understand and I'm not sure I want to."

***/**/***

"Emily!"

Jack released his father's hand quickly and bolted over to where Emily sat on the couch.

"Hey Jack. How was your camp?"

"Aunt Jess wouldn't let me take Sam. Dad said I could bring him tonight."

Hotch grinned apologetically and held up the hamster cage.

"Sam is always welcome at my apartment. Just like you and your Dad." Emily winked at Hotch.

"You know you really don't have to stay with me anymore." She addressed Hotch. "It's great having you and Jack here but I really can look after myself."

Hotch kissed the top of her head lightly. "Just for the weekend. I promise I will stop worrying and leave you alone after that. Jack can share the guest room with me."

Emily smiled. "And Sam?"

Hotch shrugged. "You need a bunkmate – he's all yours."

***/**/***

Hotch awoke sometime later, disoriented in the dark and unfamiliar bedroom. He raised his head off the pillow carefully, anxious to avoid waking Jack who dozed peacefully next to him. What had awakened him? Jack obviously wasn't disturbed, maybe he had imagined it.

Another whimper. He definitely didn't imagine that. Was it Sam turning his hamster wheel? Was there an intruder in the apartment? Hotch wasn't taking chances with Jack and Emily's safety and rolled over cautiously, untangling himself from the sheet. He blinked a few times, convinced he was being paranoid, whilst he waited for his eyes to adjust to the dim light. He stood gingerly and opened the guest bedroom door, fumbling for the light switch in the lounge.

A loud crash emanating from Emily's bedroom interrupted his search. Heart racing he yanked the door to Jack's room shut and grabbed his gun, creeping his way to Emily through the darkness. In a move that would have made Morgan proud, he kicked the door to her room open and threw on the light.

"Emily!"

From her position on the floor Emily jumped backwards in shock and collided with the bedside table clumsily.

"Hotch? Jesus what are you doing?" She shrieked at him.

"Sorry." Hotch lowered his gun quickly, feeling like an idiot. "I heard a crash."

Emily just gaped at him wordlessly, trying to catch her breath.

"I heard a noise. I'm sorry for scaring you." Hotch mumbled. "I just... I'm sorry."

Hotch groaned inwardly. What was he thinking bursting into her room with his gun drawn? He could see that he had frightened her – hell, he would have scared anybody.

"Emily." Hotch crouched down next to her and grasped one of her trembling hands. Her hair was tousled and she stared at him -pale and unnerved. How could he have been so foolish?

"It's okay. I'm okay." Emily inhaled deeply. Releasing his hand she pointed a quivering finger at the floor where she had been kneeling. The remnants of a lamp lay shattered on the floor next to the bedside table.

"I think..." Emily paused to take another shaky breath. "I had a nightmare... I woke up and when I reached for the lamp I must have knocked it off. I'm sorry."

Hotch held out his hand and Emily accepted the gesture, pulling herself to her feet unsteadily. "Did I wake Jack?"

"No you didn't." Hotch whispered soothingly. "Don't worry. Jack can sleep through anything."

Emily nodded and rubbed her elbow absently, she had grazed it from the impact with the table and Hotch could see a red mark forming.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Hotch attempted to stow the gun in the waistband of his pants and became suddenly aware that he was shirtless and clad only in a pair of boxers. Feeling stupid he settled for placing it on the table. "You look terrible Emily. I'm sorry."

"It's fine really." She smiled at him weakly. "I'm sure I looked terrible before you barged in. It's not your fault."

"Nightmare?"

"Yeah. The worst." Emily sat down on the bed heavily, rubbing her eyes as though she were trying to clear the dream from her memory. "I'm okay. I'll be allright now."

Hotch nodded, debating with himself whether or not to accept her dismissal or question her further. Was it his place to be interrogating her in the middle of the night like this? Did she even want to discuss it with him?

Concern for her finally winning him over, he sat tentatively on the bed next to her. She glanced at him, confused, and found herself flustered by his penetrating gaze. His eyes were dark and troubled.

"You don't have to tell me Em but the nightmare... was it...?"

"No." She interrupted him quickly. "Um maybe... at first I... I'm not sure." Emily lowered her eyes and stared at the broken lamp on the floor.

Discomforted by her admission, Hotch frowned and moved to stand up. She had been having a nightmare... presumably about him, and he had shown up in her bedroom half naked and waving a gun! He cursed his lack of tact for causing her so much distress in one night. How could he have been so insensitive?

Hotch was surprised when Emily grabbed his arm and pulled him back down next to her.

"Don't go." She stared at him, eyes pleading. "It was just a stupid dream... please don't go."

"But your nightmare...?" Hotch was both desperate to hear about it and desperate not to. He swallowed and resumed his place on the bed next to her.

"It started off as... It was... but then it changed to K-Karl Arnold. It was... It was awful."

Hotch cringed. Karl Arnold... his fault also.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. I just want to forget... but I'm afraid to go to sleep again. What if he comes back? What if I dream about him again?" Emily eyed Hotch nervously.

"He won't..."

"Stay with me?"

Emily stared at him beseechingly and Hotch faltered, unable to refuse such an emotional request.

"Of course."

Hotch shuffled over on the bed and lifted the sheet over Emily. She snuggled down into his embrace, warm and comfortable now between the sheets. Hotch tried to ignore the tickling of her hair against his bare chest. This was definitely a bad idea.

"Do you get nightmares?"

Hotch nodded numbly. "All the time..."

"What do you do?"

"Um... try to think about something else. Try to distract myself... Sometimes I try to stay awake."

"I never pictured you getting nightmares. You always seem so... composed."

"We all have nightmares Em. I'm no different."

Emily traced her fingertips lightly over the scars on his chest. If anyone had a reason to experience nightmares, it was Hotch. He followed her movements with his eyes.

"Thank you for staying with me."

"No problem. I just hope I can help."

She smiled at him avidly. "Just by being here you help. You always help."

Hotch knew otherwise but grinned at her anyway. "I only wish that were true. I love you Emily."

Emily stared at him, shocked by the unexpectedly honest admission. Hotch rarely showed any emotion, at least not at work, and never spoke of his feelings. The man never ceased to surprise her. She leaned in and brushed her lips against his, gauging his reaction whilst her hand slid from his chest to his neck, finally resting on the side of his face.

"I love you too Hotch."

Hotch gasped as her lips brushed his. Did she have any idea what this was doing to him? He knew that he probably should excuse himself and return to his own bed, it was the most decent thing he could do in the situation, yet he could not tear himself away from her. Her touch was almost intoxicating and he fought to retain control of his thoughts and actions.

Hotch gulped slightly as Emily's hand moved once more, sliding down to his waist. She kissed him again, less chaste this time, and he found himself obliging her as his body responded eagerly. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in closer to him, feeling the softness of her breasts brush his chest through the thin t-shirt she wore.

Emily moaned into his neck as he embraced her. Her boss... Hotch was lying next to her. In her bed, half naked... Hotch!...and she felt nothing but safe and comfortable in his embrace. How did I get here? She wondered. A couple of months ago she could not stand next to him without trepidation and now here she was, about to get naked with him – or was she?

Hotch felt himself harden as Emily moaned. He lifted the hem of her t-shirt uncertainly, was this really a good idea? As he considered where their actions were leading and the inevitable consequences he sensed her hand moving lower, much lower and he tensed as she brushed against him through his boxers. As her touch became more insistent he stilled, considering her. Was she really ready for this?

"Emily?" He grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away from him. "Em? I'm not sure this is a good idea? Are you really ready for this?"

"Hmmm... Hotch" she sighed. "Please? I want this."

Hotch took hold of her other hand and kissed it tenderly as Emily's expression urged him on. In a sudden bold move he rolled on top of her, still holding her hands, and stared down at her hesitantly, studying her reactions. Hotch knew that such an action would likely cause her some anxiety, but preferred to bring any misgivings she may have to the forefront before things could progress any further- he had to give her the opportunity to back out.

"Emily?"

She stared back at him, confused but apparently unafraid.

"Are you sure this is what you want? Sure you're ready?"

"Very." Emily grinned and pushed herself against him provocatively.

"Are you nervous?"

"No... well maybe a little. I want to do this Hotch. I want another memory."

"I think that can be arranged." Hotch smiled and then sobered quickly. "You know you can tell me to stop at any time and I will. You can trust me..."

"Hotch?"

"Yes."

"Stop talking."

Emily wrapped an arm behind his head and pulled him down to her mouth. Their tongues danced and she felt as though her body were on fire. Hotch's hands returned to the hem of her shirt and she raised herself off the bed allowing him to slip it over her head. The resultant skin contact was electric and Emily soon found herself needing more. She slid her hands under the waistband of Hotch's boxers and he felt himself quiver in anticipation of her touch. He wanted nothing more than to push her back into the bed and bury himself in her, but he forced himself to be patient, he was going to do this right.

Emily tugged at his boxers and Hotch jerked them down, groaning as the friction caused by the fabric against him was almost painful. He moved back on top of her and placed his mouth on her nipple, suckling gently whilst she squirmed against him. Unlike the last time they had been together, she wanted to savour every sensation, remember every moment. She was not going to shut her eyes and hide in her mind this time, no way.

"Emily?"

Hotch's hands had moved to her shorts and she pushed herself back, away from him to take them off. He was confused for a second, half expecting her to freak out and run from him, but then she moved back, against his side, now completely naked as he was. He took a moment to consider her, having little recollection from the last time they were together of just how beautiful she really was. Lying there naked with her he felt both exhilarated and terrified. What if it was terrible? What if she hated it? Could he stand losing her again? Hotch frowned as he noticed the fresh scar on her abdomen. Had she really healed?

"What's wrong?"

Emily could see the change in his expression and stared at him worriedly. "What is it?"

"Nothing."

Hotch rolled her back under him and moved his lips to the small scar. He kissed it gently. She shivered and pushed her hips against him, almost as a reflex. Her eyes widened as his mouth dipped lower, his tongue finding her most private place and she moaned, tangling her fingers in his hair as she climaxed quickly.

"Oh Hotch." She breathed. "Don't stop!"

For a person who was usually so stoic and dispassionate, Hotch was astonishingly good at this, Emily thought. How could people have ever described him as cold? Emily giggled. If only her teammates could see her now...

"Condom?"

"Hmmmpht?" Emily could barely assemble a coherent thought.

"Emily do you have a condom?"

"Oh. Yeah."

Emily reached into the drawer beside her, handing him the foil package. He accepted it with shaky fingers and rolled it on himself gingerly as she watched, slightly in awe of his size. No wonder she had felt as though she were being split in two last time, she'd been too horrified to look.

Hotch followed her gaze and guessed the reason for her apprehension.

"Don't worry." He chuckled. "I know how to use it."

Emily grinned as he positioned himself of top of her and nudged her legs apart. Her heart was hammering and she was nervous but not afraid. He paused and stared down at her, searching her eyes with his.

"Em? Are you sure? You know I can stop if you want."

"You can?" She giggled.

"Yes but obviously I'd rather not."

"Don't stop Hotch..." She kissed him. "Don't stop."

Hotch smiled and held his breath as he pushed into her slowly, enjoying the sensation. Once inside he stilled and observed her quietly, savouring the moment.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." Emily sighed. "Don't stop."

***/**/***

Hotch threw the covers over them a short time later.

Emily lay curled up next to him, her head resting against his chest as she pondered their extraordinary relationship. Once just her boss, he had somehow melded himself into her life, unexpectedly becoming her best friend and now, her lover. Fate had brought them together in the most bizarre way imaginable but Emily was strangely thankful for it, even so.

"Hotch?" She touched his face lightly.

"Mmmm."

"Thanks for the memory..."

***/**/***

THE END!

Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Going to take a couple of weeks off before continuing on with my other fic...

HOTCH AND PRENTISS FOREVER!

The_Ret.