I'm back! Finally!

So...I discovered something terrible. I can't concontrate. Really. I had my exams this week and I meant to study last weekend -I swear I did- and not five minutes after starting to reread my analyse lessons, thislittle bunny just pops up, screaming and wailing and demanding all the attention it could get.

So this is what I come up with when I'm supposed to be studying. Enjoy.

Glistening sweat was the only thing he could see. Shapeless forms moving around him, hypnotizing. Light. And dark. Sex was all over the place; he couldn't remember when reality had switched to...Heaven, or Hell, he still couldn't decide. It was perfect. It was terrifying.

Naruto Uzumaki walked towards the edge of the bar, or tried to. Walking was becoming incredibly difficult these days. People were everywhere. Literally. The floor was littered with semi-lethargic bodies, wriggling around his ankles like a pit of snakes. And they hissed just as hard if you stepped on them.

He could hardly see anything in the dark.

The counter acted like the place's sanctuary. Naruto caught it firmly; keen on keeping it from escaping him. Since when did counters move, anyways? Crazy place. He caught a glass filled with a liquid of indefinable color, and swallowed it whole. The place was freaking hot. The fire flowing down his throat begged to differ, and he muttered a curse. Turning around, he let his eyes roam. He'd been looking for something before his mouth had suddenly decided it was thirsty.

Not everyone was on the floor. Some couples managed sex on foot just fine, though they did get help from the surrounding furniture. What he remembered had previously been labeled as the dance floor still was, incredibly, though there now was a distinctive erotic aspect to it. Well, everyone was naked and desperately seeking contact from its neighbors. That had to be it.

Music still pounded rhythmically in his ears, covering the moans in part. Bodies pressed against each other unashamedly; males, females, and weird mixes of both. It was hard to tell, seeing the only lights of the place were either UVs -which was pointless, really, now that everybody was naked- or hazy blue rays traveling randomly across the mass.

Was it possible to climax through someone? He wasn't hard himself -not yet- but the couple next to him was sending virtual shivers down his spine, and he could almost feel the raging orgasm that shook them both. Decision kicked in again. He needed-

He didn't know what the hell he needed, but he knew he'd have better luck if he entered the dancing mass in the middle of the floor. Careful with his feet, he headed to the self appointed place, and immediately became subject to the madness.

Want-contact, touch- His hands reached out desperately, seeking, calling. Met flesh. Bodies pressing against his. Males, females, he didn't know, didn't care. Hands running over his body, touching, touching...

He could hardly see anything in the dark.

Only feel. And think. Somewhere, in a dark corner of his mind where every rational thought had taken refuge, he tried to remember how the hell he'd gotten here. When had things changed? He still had no clue. The only thing he deduced was that finding his clothes was going to be hell once this was over.

Would it be over? Part of him dared to doubt. This was perfect -too perfect- to simply come to an end. Bodies pressing against flesh. Males, females, whatever.

No one could see anything in the dark.

And yet he saw. A blue line of light, directly in front of him. Roaming over white flesh. Someone's back. Someone's body. He needed that body.

Struggling through the crowd, he edged forward, hazardously. He knew he'd reach his goal. Eventually. The whole place was spinning anyways; there wasn't any point in trying to go in a straight line.

There. Even half-blind, he knew he'd stumbled against the right person. Smooth flesh. Soft, and pearl white in the near darkness almost stood out of the mass.

He pressed his hips against the perfect ass, locking his arms around the waist. Resting his forearms upon the hips. Allowing his hands to slide down, and wait, was that a guy? Yes, it was. Aw, well, too bad. This was no time to get picky.

His fingers slid against the erection, bringing it to life. Funny how easy it was. The body pressed back against his fingers, against his crotch. Male, definitely male. His need merely increased. More- His hands explored the foreign flesh, touching, stroking, sinking even deeper down-

The other turned and shit, was that Sasuke? Fuck yeah, it was. Naruto smirked, although he had no idea why, and the bastard smirked right back at him, seizing his waist and slamming their hips together. He moaned.

It was crazy, Logic cried. He hated the bastard, he didn't do guys, he-

Arousal told Logic to shut the hell up and let Naruto do what he fucking wanted. And humping the Uchiha seemed like a very good idea for the moment.

They detached themselves from the mass; there was no point anymore, now that Naruto had what he wanted. Part of him curiously wondered who'd ever found the guts to undress the raven-haired man -because there was no chance in hell, not even in this place and state, that Sasuke would have done it himself.

He remembered the scene, in part. It was a guy, Memory supplied, definitely a guy. Hands reaching for the collar, brutally. Ripping the shirt open, immediately sliding hands underneath the fabric, shoving the rest down.

That's when the madness had started, Naruto recalled. Sasuke Uchiha loosing his shirt had been a synonym to Armageddon, and people had decided to do honor to the end of the world properly. Reaching for him first, and everyone else second, clothes had been discarded with awing speed, and two to three glasses later, the scene had become the equivalent of what now lay underneath his eyes.

Hands were holding his wrist, pinning him against the wall. His knee went up, halfway, hitting the other man's thigh. The hold weakened momentarily, and he reached out, biting down on Sasuke's collarbone. Pure reflex.

The unwelcoming hiss told him he'd bit slightly harder than necessary, but he didn't relax his jaw. His body had its own ways of dealing with Uchihas, and he still hadn't found the off button to his automatic self-defense mode.

Sasuke found it. Fairly easily, too. But hell, how was he supposed to know it was hidden deep within his ass? The long, slim fingers were coated with something warm, almost burning. The smell of alcohol was strong, and Naruto spotted a glass of darker-than-water liquid placed innocently next to the Uchiha. He let out a low growl.

A chuckle resonated somewhere on his left. The bastard's head was there, too. Figured. Sighing, he spread his legs slightly, allowing easier access to the wandering hand. But of course Sasuke remained a bastard, and straightened malevolently, pulling his hand away.

"Asshole," came the expected, furious remark.

"Aren't you?" was the amused reply. Then the Uchiha frowned. "Stop talking."

"Wh-" Naruto quickly got Sasuke's point when the raven-haired man kissed him to silence. No talking. Right. Just feel.

This was good. He could forget just about everything, now, it didn't matter anymore. How he'd made this insane bet with Kiba, their drinking contest...How much alcohol had he already absorbed? It didn't matter. The place had gotten way too hot, anyways.

Sweat again. All over his body. No. The wetness growing around his neck was something else. Someone's tongue. Warm, but cool over his skin once it left. He shivered. Spotted an ear, poking out from midnight locks. Leaned down, and bit. Softly this time. Held the cartilage between his teeth, and let his tongue slide inside the shell, settling inside the ear's curves before licking the edges. Fingers tightened their hold on his arms.

He was hot. Burning. The body pressing against his was just as warm, and beads of sweat were slowly gathering upon his chest. Without thinking -who needed to think, these days?- Naruto grabbed the glass still waiting on the counter. Pressed his forehead against Sasuke's shoulder, and emptied its contents upon his neck.

Blissful cold. Burning his chest and back, cooling his body. He sighed in relief, shivering slightly as the ice cubes fell out of the glass, sliding down his skin. Sasuke caught them, pressing them harshly against his back. He swore, and dived into the bastard's warm chest, away from the ice's bite. Chuckling, Sasuke removed the frigid cubes, and let his fingers slide down once more, back to Naruto's entrance.

Pleasure was back. Good good good. He arched his back, wordlessly asking for more. How come he'd never tried this, he wondered. But he was glad he'd found the bastard.

He needed to thank Kiba for bringing him here with Sasuke, though he still couldn't remember what had caused the Uchiha to surrender to the invitation. They'd all been aware that things were bound to edge off to sex, and he distinctly recalled Sasuke's reluctant -although reluctant didn't even begin to describe the Uchiha's attitude towards the night's prospect- face while they'd waited in line. That had been a momentary source of glee. Served the bastard right.

Cold, against his entrance. Before he realized what it was, Sasuke had already pushed the ice cube inside, adding two fingers to the mix. And of course, kissing him harshly in order to muffle any unwanted exclamation. It was torture. It was fucking bliss. And it wasn't even close to being over.

He clenched desperately, trying to force the ice out, but the bastard's digits prevented anything of the sort, pushing the cube even deeper back each time it slid down, letting his fingers pull out slowly then thrust back in, with a rhythm comprehensible to him alone.

Naruto's body shook, and still he could barely make any noise; the tongue coaxing the inside of his mouth was making it quite hard, and in any case he couldn't remember where he'd misplaced his voice.

Sasuke pulled back, and flipped him around. Apparently the Uchiha seemed to appreciate the tightness of his ass, and lost little time in pressing the tip of his member against the blonde's entrance. Pushed in.

It could have been worse. Although that goddamn bastard could have prepared him better; water wasn't exactly the best lubricant in the world. But there was no denying that this felt good. He let his upper body rest upon the counter -less tiring that way- and let Sasuke work him to bliss. And boy did they get there. The music had dulled. Everything had dulled. The world was pitch black and he couldn't see anything and what did it matter, fuck this was the best thing he'd ever done. With or without the Uchiha, in any activity he'd ever done.

And that fucking ice cube had finally melted away, which was good too because he didn't know if he could have tolerated it much longer, because the fucking thing was freezing and fuck Sasuke was gone. Turning back to see what the other man was doing, he swore. Blue eyes widened as far as they could, and Naruto bit his lip to keep himself from making noise as Sasuke pushed another piece of polished ice inside his entrance before reinserting his member inside the newly tight heat.

Torturous bliss roared back to life. He was intensely aware of the small spot of cold moving within him, at the tip of Sasuke's erection, and the remaining source of his pleasure. And then the bastard changed his angle. The ice cube slammed into his prostrate.

"Fuck!"

The outburst brought a disapproving frown on the Uchiha's face, although he did smirk hugely as the body in front of him buckled, and Naruto nearly lost his footing, stabilizing only thanks to his clutch on the counter. The blond saw neither, however, as his mind made a complete shutdown, and sent him straight back to the place where he kept his memories.

He remembered now. He'd started the entire thing.

***

Naruto Uzumaki grinned mischievously as he emptied his second glass. The group had split to fill up the club's tables, and he'd taken the one furthest from the Uchiha, aware of how things tended to get ugly if they got too close. He'd never tried hanging around Sasuke while he was drunk, but part of him safely estimated the outcome was not going to be in his favor.

"You look drowsy, dog-boy," he informed his friend. "We're only on the second glass, remember?"

Kiba glared. "You don't look too fresh either," he growled. Looking sideways, he grinned as his eyes fell upon the Uchiha. "I told you I'd convince him," he added.

Naruto followed the gaze, and shrugged. "He doesn't look like he's having much fun," he remarked. "But I have to admit, I didn't think you'd manage." He grinned again. "So how did you do it?"

"The same way I did with you," Kiba said, laughing. "He was as keen to prove me wrong as you were."

Blue eyes twinkled with curiosity. "So what's his bet?" the blond asked. "That he's not going to get laid?"

"No," Kiba groaned, and ordered two additional glasses. Naruto still hadn't figured what they'd put in there, but the stuff was good. "I didn't bring anyone who'd think 'getting laid' was the craziest and most improbable thing that could ever happen to them on a sexual basis."

"So what did he say?" Naruto insisted.

Kiba shrugged. "He wasn't interested in crazy, but he told me he had yet to see someone manage to undress him completely somewhere public."

Naruto let out a burst of laughter. "That's it?" he asked. "For a guy who's first on the 'most likely to get raped by rabid fangirls' list, it's a bit soft, isn't it?"

But Kiba shook his head. "If you think about it, no one has ever actually managed to take his clothes off, have they? And we both know how many girls actually tried."

"Don't remind me," Naruto groaned. "I'm getting images." Straightening brusquely, he caught his third glass and emptied it in three gulps. "It's the only time where I actually pity him. No one deserves that kind of treatment." He shivered darkly.

"Yeah," Kiba replied. "So that's his bet. That no one will make him take his clothes off."

Naruto snorted. "Still sounds ridiculous when you say it like that," he said, laughing. "What did you guys bet?"

"Can't tell," Kiba replied, suddenly smirking. "But don't worry, you're more than enough."

"You actually think I'm going to lose?"

"Think so," Kiba replied lightly. "This place isn't like the other clubs. Once things get going, you know anything can happen. You'll see. And I'll be going home with one week's worth of sushi." He smirked.

Naruto frowned, and his blue eyes edged back to the Uchiha. "Ridiculous," he muttered under his breath.

*

He'd won the drinking contest, obviously. Kiba was no longer coherent, and Naruto grinned triumphantly as he helped the tall man to a more comfortable seat. Although he felt slightly happier than he knew he should, the alcohol hadn't yet affected him too much. And certainly not as much as Kiba.

"Pretty smart, Uzumaki," a voice behind him suddenly drawled. "Did you knock him out because you were afraid he'd see you lose?"

Naruto turned. Sasuke eyed him coolly, an untouched glass resting next to him. He looked bored.

"Looking for trouble, Uchiha?" he asked, taunting. "I'll gladly give it to you." Groaning, he grabbed a chair, and settled noisily next to the impassive man. Sasuke smirked.

"I'm curious," he finally said. "Of what you bet with Kiba. We were trying to guess with Neji" -he indicated the quiet man next to him- "and we figured it had to be fairly simple." The smirked widened. "You don't think you're going to get laid, right?"

"Funny how I made the same suggestion about you," Naruto drawled back. "Too bad I was wrong. But the real bet's pretty funny too, if you ask me." He laughed as the Uchiha frowned.

"Kiba told you?" Sasuke asked. Then shook his head, sighing. "I should've expected that."

"Want to know mine?" Naruto asked. "Though if I tell you I'm bound to win. Maybe I should tell yours to your friends instead." He turned towards Neji. "You know what he bet? He said no one would manage to undress him before the end of the night." Naruto laughed, reaching blindly for the Uchiha. "Just that. I could make him lose right now, see?" Adding his left hand to Sasuke's collar, he began undoing the first button. His hands were shoved away.

"Stop that," Sasuke snapped.

Grinning madly, Naruto caught the offending arm and resumed unbuttoning the shirt one handed. "Kiba didn't say what you two bargained," he said. "I'm pretty curious. So you might as well lose quietl-" He was pushed back, more forcefully this time.

"You're going to get hurt," the Uchiha informed him icily. "Stay off me."

Naruto merely shrugged. He couldn't get angry. Which should have been a warning for both him and the Uchiha, but instead, he settled back into his seat, and called one of the waiters. "Get him what you've been serving us," he ordered, pointing at the table he and Kiba had been sharing. The man nodded, and almost immediately a second glass was placed next to the un-emptied first.

"Drink up, Uchiha," Naruto said. "Or are you to afraid to end up like Kiba? I promise you I won't pull your clothes off if you're unconscious."

Sasuke snorted. "You realize you're drunk, don't you?"

"Sure," Naruto conceded. "That way we'll be two."

"Right." Stubbornly, the Uchiha pushed the glass back.

A normal, sober Naruto would usually have taken hold of the glass and either shoved it against the unwilling mouth, either would have simply emptied it on the offending head. But Naruto, as Sasuke had smartly pointed out, was not sober. So he simply sighed, and spoke a single word. "Coward."

And suddenly onyx eyes flashed.

Sasuke Uchiha glared furiously at the blond, took the glass and swallowed its contents whole. Naruto barely handed him a glance. "I've had four more," he remarked.

"You're drunk," the Uchiha replied testily.

"You could still add another."

The coal eyes narrowed again, and Sasuke ordered a second glass. Neji chose this moment to excuse himself.

Naruto forced the Uchiha through yet two more glasses before getting into action. He then brusquely got to his feet, and slammed Sasuke back, forcing them both to the floor. Ripping the shirt open, he ignored the furious struggling the other man offered, and managed to remove the shirt completely before Sasuke regained his balance and forced him away.

"Are you completely crazy?" the raven-haired man seethed. Before Naruto could answer, the lights went out, and the blond dived for the bastard's pants.

*

As if to take his revenge, Sasuke had undressed him as well. With the sudden loss of visibility, and the motivation caused by both alcohol and their little show, modesty had been ruthlessly kicked out, and chaos had erupted.

***

The second thrust sent him roaring back to reality, though Naruto did see stars. He gasped, and heard the bastard chuckle behind him. Griping the edges of the counter, he fought to keep control over his legs, and let out a shaky moan, arching his back in pleasure.

Sasuke gripped his hips, thrusting shallowly before slamming into the blonde's prostate once more. Naruto let out a gasping breath, pushing back against the bastard's hips to meet his thrusts. The pace accelerated, and he stopped thinking again. Stopped remembering. Stopped everything as bliss sent his mind soaring up to nirvana.

He climaxed, and felt Sasuke's hold tighten on his arms as the dark-haired man reached his own orgasm, swearing as he brought the blond against his body.

For a moment, they remained still, panting. Naruto was fully aware of the fact that Sasuke's hold was the only thing keeping him on his feet. His legs shook, and he was suddenly exhausted, barely moving as the Uchiha pulled out, and slammed him back against his chest. He could feel Sasuke's heart pounding against his back, echoing his own.

"You complete asshole," Sasuke finally muttered. His hold on Naruto didn't falter in the least, however, and a possessive hand slid down against blonde's crotch.

"You're the asshole," Naruto growled back. "I lost my bet because of you."

Sasuke snorted. "One week's worth of sushi's hardly troublesome to fulfill," he remarked. "If you play nice later I might even pay it for you."

Naruto elbowed him weakly. "Bastard."

"That's not changing anytime soon, idiot."

Muttering darkly, Naruto leaned back, turned his head sideways and nuzzled Sasuke's cheek, softly. Then suddenly remembered something. "What did you have to do if you lost your bet?" he asked.

The other man snorted. "Undress you," he replied, sighing. "Inuzuka's a recipe for trouble."

"That ass," Naruto growled. "You should've told me, and we would both have won."

"Not with everything you drank," Sasuke replied. "You wanted to see me lose, right?"

"Yeah. Maybe it wouldn't have changed a thing." Sighing, the blonde rested his head upon the Uchiha's shoulder. "I hate you."

"I know." Sasuke's voice was amused. "Though if you could hate me like this more often, I wouldn't exactly mind."

Naruto straightened abruptly in order to shake his head. "You're drunk," he accused. His sudden movement caused his brain to scream, and darkness assaulted his eyes as alcohol and exhaustion finally took over his body. Sasuke caught the suddenly limp man, and picked him up gently. Carefully carrying the blond, he installed Naruto in one of the club's quieter corners, on an abandoned couch, and kissed him on the forehead. Smirking, he whispered, "That way we'll be two."

***

"Oi, Naruto!" The blond turned to face the mirthful rampage that was Kiba Inuzuka, and gave him a questioning look. The man merely grinned. "You have got to come with me to a club tonight," he said "it's the craziest thing I've ever done, it was great, it-"

"Kiba," Naruto groaned. "You know I need to work on Friday nights."

"I'll call your boss," the other man assured. "You absolutely have to go there; the place is pure magic, I swear!"

His friend raised an amused, skeptic eyebrow. "Magic?" he repeated.

"Best sex I've ever had," Kiba replied, nodding. "Anything can happen there. Just name the craziest, more unlikely thing you can think of, and if you go there you can be sure it'll happen."

Naruto laughed. "You mean, something impossible?" He raised his eyes thoughtfully. "Guy sex?" he proposed. "That's not going to happen to me in a lifetime."

Dark brown eyes glinted. "You're willing to bet on that?"

Naruto grinned, and nodded. "One week's worth of sushi. Though maybe this could get a bit easy if I get too drunk. Let's add some spice then. Sex with Sasuke Uchiha." He chocked with laughter. "I can't even get that close to the bastard, there's no way he'll let me inside his ass."

"What if he gets inside yours?" Kiba asked.

Naruto laughed even harder. "If he gets there without raping me I'm willing to date him," he let out, his sides shaking with mirth.

Kiba only smiled.

Blame anything you haven't understood on the fact that Naruto's drunk ^^ . Okay, I know alcohol isn't great when mixed with smut, but it was a lot more fun to write that way. So forgive me. And tell me what you think.

Review!