Title: Solace

Pairing: Cook/Effy

Spoilers: series 4

Summary: My idea of what happens to Cook and Effy after the series, specifically a year later.

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When Effy is 18 her father's gone to live somewhere else, her brother's too busy with school, her boyfriend's found dead, the man she trusted with her mental well-being is to blame and found dead too, and Cook is in jail.

It's enough to make anyone go mad, and she, already wired with the capacity to do such a thing, does. All the recovery she'd undergone flies out the window and the room she was so ready to give up at the institution becomes something of a permanent residence.

She always thought her life functioned independently from everyone around her; she moved in a world and everyone else, specifically the men, just adorned it. But, then, of course the opposite was true. Her father was her family's rock, her brother was her everything, she loved her boyfriend too much. It's tough losing your mind but it's an even harder thing to lose all of the men in your life.

The thing is, though, when Effy is 19 Cook comes back.

///

The series of events happened like this:

The only reason cops knew to come to John Foster's house was because of a call they received from a boy who stated very calmly into the phone that he'd just killed someone.

He was taken out in handcuffs, fresh blood running down his face thanks to a broken nose. Later it was discovered that there was a broken wrist and broken shin too but Cook never felt any pain. He may have been in handcuffs and in the back of a police car but all Cook felt was a crazy, calming contentment.

At his trial it's a miracle the judge didn't ask him to speak on his own behalf because Cook would've readily admitted no regrets and that he would do it all again. He gets a good lawyer this time and the murder is deemed self defense and Cook is not guilty of it (and is even kind of a hero for finding the man who killed Freddie and being brave enough to face him). It helps that the evidence against John Foster is irrefutable. So Cook is scott free on that one, but he is guilty of having escaped from jail and evading arrest in the first place. The sentence is ironically harsher than what it originally was for beating up that kid.

He has to stay locked up for a year. It's a long time and he doesn't even try to find a way out this go round. When he's set free there's only one place he can go.

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He's a little nervous to see her because it's been so long and she's still in that place so he can only imagine what sort of state she's in. He's not only nervous, he's scared. But fear has never stopped him from doing anything before. The day he gets let out of jail he takes a bus to the institution that's housing Effy and finds her sitting on a bench under a tree. When she sees him she grins and it fills his heart to see that she's happy.

They hug for a long time. "It's good to see ya, Eff." There are tears in his eyes for her; for the long, wasted year; for Freddie.

Some part of him thought he was there for her, but the more he sinks into Effy's embrace the more he realizes just how much good she does for him.

///

Cook and Effy sit on a bench and catch up.

Cook doesn't have much to offer to the conversation: life stopped for a year and now he's out, at a halfway house because there's nowhere else to go, and that's about all there is to his story. (He doesn't need to tell her about how he found Freddie's bloodied clothing or how he pounded Mr. Foster's face until all that was left was mulch.) Cook doesn't say much. He listens.

Effy talks about how she's doing a lot better. Some of the gang comes to visit but everyone's spread out now; Naomi and Emily on their globetrotting adventure, Panda and Tomo in America, JJ with his own budding family, oddly, and Katie, who's been good about coming to chat.

For a while there, after it happened (she never directly mentions the incident from a year ago), she broke down and she didn't think she'd ever recover but since that bad spell she's made progress and she still believes in therapy even after John Foster. Though it took a while for that to happen. And while Cook can see that she's well he can also see that the whole mess hasn't left her completely unscathed. Where once Effy Stonem was fearless now she is full of fear. She's afraid to leave this place and rejoin the real world. She talks to him about feeling paranoid a lot of the time. And she talks a lot—often to herself, aloud. (It's easier to sort things out, she explains. There's too much going on in her head and if she talks it out it's better for her.)

But that's okay; she can talk as much as she wants. Cook listens.

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He visits her every day. They sit on benches and talk, or don't, but he's always by her side. Sometimes there'll be a group doing activities like flying kites or planting flowers and they'll spend whole hours just watching them. One time there is a boy nearby, not more than ten, walking aimlessly—must be a visitor. He stops right in front of the two of them, just staring, looking Effy up and down in her hospital clothes.

"Do I look like a crazy person?" Effy says in a low voice, talking to no one in particular. "I must look like a crazy person. Or maybe he thinks I look normal and the hospital gown's confusing him. No, no, it's the first bit. Why is he still staring at me? Why won't he stop? Cook, why won't he stop?"

Cook hears a rising fear in her voice and responds in the only way he knows how. "Hey," he snaps at the kid. "Hey! What you lookin' at, mate?" The kid turns his attention to Cook.

"Leave us alone." When the kid still doesn't move Cook makes like he's about to lunge at him. "Do you speak English, man? Leave us the fuck alone!"

The kid runs away and Cook takes his seat again.

"Sweet," Effy says. "Thanks."

"Yeah," Cook says, shrugging. "Children."

"Even after all this time you were right."

Cook is pleased to see her trademark Effy smirk in place. He takes a drag from his fag and tries looking philosophic. "I'm always right," he says. "'bout what?"

"Everyone else is gone and you and me are all that's left. It's always going to be you and me."

Cook nods. "If that's how you want it, Eff. That's how it'll be if that's how you want it."

///

There is nowhere else Cook would rather be than sitting on this bench right now with Effy right next to him. But.

But he doesn't know how much more of the crazies he can take. Just a few minutes ago a bearded man with yellow sunglasses came up to them and asked Cook if he'd care to enjoy some of his homemade jam. A nurse came to take the man away soon enough but Cook was still left thinking of all the horrible things that could be in that jam-- to Effy's delight. She laughs at his sour expression.

The point is, being at the loony bin so often was starting to make Cook feel like one of the crazies.

"So when do you think you'll leave this place, Princess?"

"Don't rush me."

"It's been a year. I know what it's like to be stuck somewhere for that long. We have that in common, you and me. And it's not all peachy keen."

"I can't just leave. Do you know what's out there? Do you have any idea?"

"Tell me."

"Bad men," Effy says simply.

She starts off on one of her rants. Cook knows how to spot them now: they sound like they're not meant to be heard by anyone but her. "I have to stay here. They can't get me here. I'm safe here, so long as I stay in bounds. I've been so safe the past few months. If I just stay in here everything will be alright." Turning to Cook she finally talks for his sake: "I have to stay," she says.

Freddie may have promised to keep the bad men away but it was Cook who followed through. He kept the bad men away in a way Freddie couldn't. "Listen to me, yeah?" Cook says, leaning in close. "I won't let anything bad happen to you. Ever." He'll kill all the bad men if he has to. He's done it before.

Effy nods, smiles like she believes him. "If I leave this place, will you stay with me?"

She looks at him so earnestly, so vulnerable, that it's enough to break Cook's heart. She needs him, and it doesn't matter if it's just as a friend. "'Course I will, Eff."

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TBC