I don't own anything, nor am I making any money. All character's belong to JE, I'm just using for my own needs (yeah, I wish!).

This is set in the last seen of book fifteen.

Joe and I were sitting on his couch, and he got that look in his eye. I thought oh boy, and my hormones were doing a happy dance. We still haven't worked anything out between us, but it has been to long since I had sex. At this point I didn't want to talk about our problems.

Joe leaned in and kissed me. He's a great kisser, not Ranger quality, but Ranger is sex on legs. Joe's kiss was great, but I stopped him. I couldn't do it, I couldn't have sex with him. I always had this problem with Ranger. I wanted to have sex with him, but the guilt wouldn't allow me to. I could never cheat on Joe. I know what your thinking, Ranger and I did have sex that one glorious night, but Joe and I were broken up at the time, and I know he hasn't been completely faithful to me during our off periods either.

After Scrog shot Ranger I told Joe I loved him, but what I didn't tell him was that I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with Ranger. OMG! I knew I loved Ranger, but I never let myself think about it before. That's it I'm in love with Ranger. We've been spending so much time together lately, and I've been staying in his apartment. That's why I couldn't sleep in the bed at the same time as Ranger, I wouldn't have been able to stop him. Yes I did stop him, but it took every last ounce of will power I had. I had to leave because I knew I couldn't stay there anymore. If I did I would jump him, and my heart couldn't handle it if he rejected me.

I know Ranger wouldn't reject me sexually, but I need him. I need him like I need air to breathe. I cannot live without him. There you have it, I never thought that way about Joe. I guess that's why I could never commit to marry him. When Joe kissed me I felt like I was cheating on Ranger.

When I asked Ranger why the word on the street is that I'm his woman, he told me only I would think otherwise. Now I understand what he means. Sure Joe is my boyfriend, but I belong to Ranger in every way that matters. Ranger has my heart, my love, and I would do absolutely anything for him. I work with him and for him, I trust him unconditionally, I've lived with him, I use his cars, he protects me, his men guard me. Damn, I've never told him I loved him.

"Cupcake. Cupcake, STEPHANIE." Joe called out to me.

I looked over at him. Confusion on my face. I was lost in thought after our kiss. I don't know how long I've been sitting here contemplating it.

"That wasn't the reaction I was expecting when I kissed you." Joe said quietly.

"Joe. I. I'm sorry. I just can't." I sad remorsefully.

"It's him isn't it." He asked.

"Huh?"

"Manoso, it's him." He said.

I must have had a very confused look on my face. My thoughts were flying through my head so fast I couldn't comprehend what was going on.

"No nothing went on between Ranger and I. He worked while I slept, and I worked when he slept. Nothing happened Joe." I needed him to understand that I didn't cheat on him. No matter what I was feeling I never could cheat.

Joe took a big breath and sighed. "I know that you would never cheat on me. I trust you, but I thought we could sweep everything under the rug and just pick back up. We can't do that, it's not the same. Can you tell me what happened when I kissed you?"

"Joe I don't know what to say. I can't do it. I love you, honestly I do. It's just that-I-oh Joe." I had tears in my eyes. How do could I tell him even though I love him, it's not the kind of love he needs. Joe took my hand in his.

He sighed again. "I've known for a long time, I guess I've known longer than you. I just thought it was a phase, that it would pass, but it didn't. Your in love with him, you have been for a while now. I knew the moment I walked in after he was shot. You were catatonic. You thought he was going to die, and I could see that it would kill you if he did."

I started crying, I wasn't bawling or anything like that, but I was crying. Everything Joe said was true, and it was killing me that he knew, that I hurt him. He took me in his arms.

"I'm so sorry Joe. I never meant for it to happen, I didn't want to believe it. I wouldn't let myself even think that I loved him."

"Shit. I think he's crazy, but he loves you Stephanie. At least I know that, and he will protect you at all costs. I love you, but I knew deep down that it wasn't going to work out between us. I can't take your job, and you can't be a burg wife. I want you to be happy, even if it is with him."

I wiped my nose on my sleeve and looked into his eyes. "Your one of the best men I know. I always thought if we ended it for good it would be yelling with lots of broken things laying around. Thank you for loving me, and being my friend."

Joe smiled at me. "Your friend, well at least we still have that don't we." I laid my head on his chest and he kissed the top of it.

"If he hurts you I'll kill him." He said laughing.