21 Things Skippy the Stormtrooper is not allowed to do in the Imperial military:

1. Mouse droids are not to be outfitted with ears and tails.

2. Garlic and holy water does not ward off officers, and it is not recommended that I test this theory.

3. I am not to outfit my helmet with voice-distortion mods, especially not to make myself sound like Lord Vader, a woman, or a well-known cartoon character.

4. I am not to take incriminating pictures or recordings of my chain of command.

5. I am not to use any editing programs to make incriminating pictures or recordings of my chain of command.

6. Members of the Imperial Navy are not to be greeted with, "Hey, sailor."

7. Spray-painting designs on my armour is not an acceptable means of asserting my individuality.

8. It is considered in bad taste to fill my Endor-stricken bunk mate's locker with teddy bears.

9. "Stormtroopers Do It On the Frontline" is not an appropriate tagline for Stormtrooper Corps recruitment posters.

10. "TIE Fighters Do it In Threes" is ditto for the Imperial Starfighter Corps posters.

11. Reprogramming the serving droid to prepare only Hutt cuisine is not going to make me the squad favourite.

12. Imperial battle strategy does not involve painting our naked bodies with woad and running at the enemy screaming obscenities, no matter how psychologically potent it may be. I am banned from trying this at any time.

13. On the subject of nudity, camouflage body paint is not a viable substitute for temperature-regulating, vacuum-prepped plastoid armour.

14. If the mere thought of something makes me laugh for longer than ten minutes straight, I am to assume that I am banned from doing it.

15. I am to remember at all times that the Imperial Security Bureau has no sense of humour.

16. Eating a Jedi will not give me the power to use the Force, no matter how many delicious midi-chlorians I ingest while doing so. I am also banned from trying this.

17. I am not allowed to build a stereo mod into my helmet so that I can listen to music on a boring shift. The same goes for attaching an antenna to it so that I can pick up radio programmes.

18. The final exam for commission in the Academy is not eating a baby, and I am not allowed to imply that this is so no matter how mean the officers are.

19. Adopting "This is the Song That Never Ends" as a cadence call does, in fact, give my officers license to shoot me.

20. If I wish to wear makeup, that is my business. However, all cosmetics must be worn underneath my helmet.

21. It is not considered in good taste to speculate upon the age of the Emperor, especially when using triple digits.

Author's Note: Just a bit of fun. This one was inspired by that "21 Things Skippy is not allowed to do in the U.S Army" list that's floating around the internet. #4, 5, and 2 are similar to ones that are on the list I saw, but the rest just got made up on the spot. ^_^ Enjoy!