Okay, you guys. You have a complete reason to want to kill me. I would kill me. I never wanted to be that author who goes half a year without updating because it is an insult to the reader to deprive him/her of another installment of a story he/she had no obligation to read. You guys didn't have to review my stories, favorite them, or follow them. You chose to. I am so sorry I haven't updated.

One reason (not an excuse, but a reason) is that my view of writing has changed. I am not a writer. I am an artist. I love expressing my creativity in any and all forms. That's why I pursue singing, acting, writing, decorating, designing, etc. Do I think I am the best writer? No. I write fanfiction not only to explore the world of a beloved series, but to improve my skills. I have read thousands of fanfictions since I got an account. I have seen awful stories, beautiful stories, and everything in between. I'll never be one of the great writers—I've known that since the beginning. But I want to be the best I can be. So, I will be reconstructing some of my stories over the next six months. None will be taken down, just edited. I'll probably send you a heads-up on them.

Alright, author's note done. ENJOY MAH STORY.

Bella POV:

"No. I am not doing it," Edward told me for what seemed like the billionth time.

I pouted. "Come on, don't you love me? Don't you want me to be happy?" I asked. He rolled his eyes and sighed. He leaned forward from his seat to be nose to nose with me.

"You know I do. I would do anything for you, love," Edward whispered. The sweet smell of his breath almost made me dizzy. Almost.

"Then can you please-," I started.

"Except that," he quipped. He kissed my nose and smiled cheekily. I took a deep breath.

I decided on a new tactic. I never wanted to resort to this, but my dear husband has forced me.

I turned away for a moment to link eyes with Alice. She nodded minutely, telling me my plan will work. I discreetly pulled down my shirt, causing the V-neck to plunge down even farther. I faced Edward again.

"Edward, please? For me?" I slid to the edge of my seat and sat up straight. I brought my arms up to braid my fingers together in a begging gesture. My biceps made my already visible cleavage-thank God for push-up bras- even more attention grabbing. Edward's eyes flickered from my face to my chest to my face again. I saw his smile falter a bit.

"I would really appreciate it," I added, raking my hands lightly through his hair. Edward sighed contentedly. I continued with this for a few more seconds, until I brought my right hand to stroke his face while my left hand drew lazy circles on his muscled chest. I heard Edward's breathing pick up.

I slowly got up. I purposely let my cell phone fall to the floor. Edward was too caught up in my trap to notice, although he did notice my next move. I spun around and bent over at the waist to pick up my phone. I made sure to drag out the movement, so Edward could take in the view.

I straightened up and plopped down on his lap. He groaned, and I giggled when I felt him under me.

"Okay, this needs to stop. I am seconds away from projectile vomiting," my darling daughter said sarcastically. I could hear the underlying disgust in her voice. I snickered, along with the rest of my family, but continued with my seduction.

"Are you sure you don't want to do it?" I questioned, making sure to keep my lips right by his ear. Edward shuddered and cleared his throat.

"Y-Yes," he replied semi-sternly. I could practically see him falling apart.

"Positive?" I asked in the most enticing voice I could muster. I placed one hand on this inside of his thigh. I nipped at his ear.

"Fine, fine! I'll do it, you succubus," Edward moaned out nervously. I fist-pumped.

Perfect.

"You know the plan, rig-," I began before Edward's lips crushed mine. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me down slightly. It felt like I was being dipped. I responded enthusiastically to his embrace, allowing his tongue to slide into my mouth to dance with mine. I snaked my arms around his neck. The kiss was so passionate and loving; if I could still pass out, I would've.

Edward pulled away after two minutes. I think it was due to Nessie's exaggerated gagging noises. He lifted me off of his lap and put me back in my seat. I watched him exit the first class cabin. I waited patiently.

Forty seconds later, I heard the screams.

EDWARD POV:

I clutched my chest with both hands as I fell to my knees. I was in the middle of the coach aisle. I was hyperventilating. My blinking was out of control. I could feel my stomach flip-flopping, and my thighs shaking irrepressibly. I was mumbling incoherently.

What can I say? I am a good actor when I need to be.

Two female flight attendants rushed up to me. One was a dark-skinned young woman with obviously dyed red hair. She looked to be in her late twenties. The other looked about one or two years younger than her, and was fair skinned with blonde hair. I could smell the dye in her hair as well. They were both panicked and flustered. I suppose the crisis training the flight crew was put through didn't cover how to react to a passenger in distress…

"Oh my God, what's wrong with him? Is he bleeding?" The blonde haired girl asked. My eyebrows furrowed during my convulsions. Am I bleeding? Do you see any blood?

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my GOD! I knew I shouldn't have skipped those stupid emergency classes!

That's reassuring.

Ugh, if this guy dies, I am so fired.

If I could face-palm right now, I would.

"No, there isn't any blood. It looks like he's having some sort of panic or asthma attack. Sir, can you hear me?" The red-haired woman called out.

Well, at least someone is trying.

I cannot have another passenger die on me. That'll be my fourth one this year.

Nevermind…I am disturbed. I noticed the passengers around me were looking on in fear. Two women were even crying. The men looked generally concerned, although none of them were medically qualified. The children just seemed to sense the tension in the air.

"Maybe we should take off his shirt? To, you know, cut off all restrictions?" The blonde suggested.

He is hot-even when he's dying. Maybe I can just squeeze his…

Really? A man is having (well, faking) a heart attack in front of you and your main objective is copping a feel?

"Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe we can check his pulse?" The dark skinned woman-who's name appeared to be Antonia- said.

Oh no. Time to act.

"Heart…attack…need…CPR…" I stammered, falling on my back.

"Okay, I'll get him some water," the blonde girl decided. WHAT? Is this girl stupid? Who gives a person water mid-heart attack? I need CPR, not Poland Springs!

"What? Are you insane? He's barely breathing! Do you want to drown him? Christy, he needs a doctor. Is there a doctor on board?" Antonia spoke hurriedly. Carlisle broke through the curtain separating first class and coach.

"I'm a doctor. What is going on with this man I do not know in any way, shape, or form?" Carlisle asked robotically.

Wow, Carlisle. Do you know the definition of the word overkill?

I admit, Edward. I messed up on that one. Carlisle's thoughts were now present in my mind.

"He's having a heart attack. What should we do?" Antonia wondered. She was supporting my head in her lap.

I wonder if this guy's single…WAIT, FOCUS, ANTONIA. HE'S DYING.

I have no hope for mankind.

"I bet he needs water, right doctor?" Christy interjected. What? Is she still talking about the water?

"Christy, will you stop it with the water?" Antonia shouted at her co-worker.

"Um…okay. The plane will have to land to the nearest hospital. For right now, he can't breathe. I'll have to perform CPR," Carlisle dictated.

"Will you need water for that, sir?" Christy inquired. What is with this woman and the water?

Carlisle stared at her incredulously for a moment. She grew defensive.

"What? Give me a break! All I know about this job is handing out shitty headphones and giving out water!" Christy exclaimed as her face grew red.

"Christy, FORGET ABOUT THE DAMN WATER AND GO TELL THE FLIGHT CREW TO LAND THE PLANE!" Antonia bellowed. Christy huffed and marched to the cockpit.

Carlisle was going through the motions of CPR as I faked some recovery. I heard the pilot's message through the speakers.

BELLA POV:

"Attention, passengers, due to a medical emergency we will be landing prematurely in Valencia, Venezuela. This flight will resume approximately three hours after landing. We are sorry for your inconvenience."

Mission accomplished.

The speaker crackled again. One of the pilots must've accidentally hit the button.

"What? Why would I…Christy, I don't want water! NO MEANS NO!"

I sighed.

So, there it is…I will have more soon hopefully.

Who's going to see Dark Night Rises? I know it's not just me…

REVIEW LIKE CRAZYYYYY!