Dammit, I own none of these character... Just the ability to control them with my mind. Anyway, read, review, I'll be continuing if people want! Any mistakes, send me a PM. Thanks.

Zaeed Massani was a no bullshit type of guy. Commander Shepard liked that about him, at least you knew where you stood with him at all times. No nasty surprises were likely to come crawling out of the wood work with him, he was blunt and crude, and in a way she respected that.

She'd known he was different from the very start when he fixed her with a glare with his odd eyes and scarred face. Trust her to have picked up the co-founder of the Blue Suns Mercenaries. His love for violence was bordering on being psychopathic, he never travelled anywhere without a gun. Privately she even wondered if he slept with one under his pillow. He was intriguing though, she had to give him that. He was always ready to talk and tell her tales of his brutal drunken filled past, and weirdly enough she found his presence on her team useful and gratifying. Not only that, he also made her laugh with his rough voice and even rougher ways. She was compelled almost after each mission to seek him out in his room or the mess hall to discuss the mission or talk about things of the past.

If she was completely honest with herself, Commander Shepard would have realised that she found Zaeed alluring. Not in the conventional sense though, for his soul was as scarred as his face, but she had always been one for attracting trouble to her. She remembered one eventful conversation with Yeoman Kelly Chambers when asked about Zaeed.

"Hi Commander, so what do you think of the merc Zaeed? I've read his psych reports, I must say he's one hell-of-a guy. A complete mystery as to what fuels him for such violence, I would love to go and talk to him..."

The Commander had shaken her head and replied, "Yeah, he's some piece of work. Skills like I haven't seen from any other merc. He's got to be mentally unstable though, I mean have you seen him in the heat of battle? I think the bullet to the skull did more damage than any of us would like to imagine." Laughing briefly she continued, "He's a damn bastard that could hold a grudge for a lifetime, but I'm glad to have him aboard."

Kelly smirked as she looked over her computer files quickly then turned back to Shepard.

"Am I the only one who finds him to be dangerously attractive?"

Shepard laughed again louder this time, slapping Kelly playfully on the shoulder as she controlled it.

"You know Kelly, I like you. Dangerous guys have always been my preference, comes with the dangerous missions. So naturally I'm inclined to agree with you... He's ugly to be honest, but he has something about him. Just don't ask me what it is yet..." Grinning at Kelly she turned to leave, but not before saying, "But I plan on finding out what it is."

~*~*~*~

Romance with anyone had been so far off of the Commander's radar, she almost wondered if Miranda's experiments on her had altered her need for any other type of stimulation other than battle, food and sleep. When she had amusingly started to ask Jacob Taylor about his sex life, she started to get the feeling that he was just waiting for a sign from her saying that it would be okay for him to drag her in the elevator and devour her.

She could see he was a good guy, what wasn't there to like about Jacob? He was a great Solider, dedicated and loyal to the mission. Give him a weapon, point him to the line of battle and he was your guy. Hell, he was ripped beyond belief, she'd seen firsthand when accidentally walking in on him getting out of the shower.

She'd barely made it to the door before he was pulling her towards him and his lips were on hers. He was a good kisser, great physique too. She'd just found him not to be right, for even though he was completely naked and against her, she couldn't even rouse herself to feel slightly hot under the collar. So she left him there, talking about the mission and the need for a clear head, but that wasn't her real reason for leaving him.

Defective, that's what she was.

She wasn't sure if she could find anyone sexually tempting, she realised with horror. Jacob's body had been there for her taking, promising her pleasure and a nice dull ache to think about with a smirk when lonely at night. But instead she had pushed him away because her body couldn't react to him, at least not in the way he wanted. So the Commander had decided to stay clear of the armoury unless absolutely necessary, the memory of Jacob's body hard against her was enough of a reminder for her to avoid him at all costs. She didn't need him knowing how screwed up her body was, even if it was Cerberus' fault.

~*~*~*~

"Course set for the Omega 4 Relay, ETA in 4 hours time Commander Shepard." EDI informed her from the cockpit.

"Thanks EDI, let me know when we've almost reached there so we can all suit up."

"Will do, logging you out Commander." EDI's light flickered and then dimmed.

Shifting slightly in his chair Joker spun around to face the Commander, a slight smirk on his face.

"So... What are your plans for blowing off steam huh? Another bathroom wrestling session with Jacob?"

Shepard's eyebrows shot up almost to her hairline, her face turning paler by the second.

"My God... How did you know about that Joker?!" she choked out.

Barely suppressing his laughter, he replied "Well... EDI sees everything, and well... She thought she should warn me that Mr. Taylor was assaulting you in the bathroom. I asked what she meant, and then she decided to show me instead." He snorted then continued, "I must say, I never took you for the type to follow men to the showers Commander."

Growling loudly, Shepard eyed EDI from the corner of her eye wishing she could rip right into her little black box and space the damn AI out with the trash in Zaeed's cargo hold.

"I don't make it a habit, in fact I just turned to the wrong bathroom! And as for assaulting me, honest to God if he had been EDI, don't you think I'm more then able to hold my own?"

EDI flickered back into life, Shepard had no doubt she had been listening the whole time. Dammit she would never live this down with Joker.

"I'm sorry Commander, it is in my programming to protect members aboard the Normandy. I thought that Mr. Taylor might mean harm to you and thought it wise to inform Jeff to your whereabouts. It was not meant as an insult to your physical strength, I'm sure you are more than capable to defend yourself, it was just merely a precaution."

Snorting again Joker replied, "Oh he meant her harm EDI, just not in the sense you are thinking of."

"Joker..." Shepard warned, eyes narrowed. "Do I have to warn you about keeping this quiet? This is never to be mentioned again, you got that?"

Shoulders shaking, Joker nodded his head and turned around back to stare at his control panels.

"Have fun Shepard, go blow off some steam. Be it with Jacob or who ever... I'll let you know when we are close."

Sighing Shepard stepped forward and lightly tapped his shoulder, murmuring something that sounded like "If we die, I'm coming back to haunt your every living hour."

He laughed loudly, and shouted to her retreating back "Yah, love you too Commander."

~*~*~*~

She decided to spend her last hours in her quarters, preparing her body with some gentle stretches and yoga positions. Flinging off her form fitting jumper, and casting off her shoes and trousers, she exchanged them for just her black sports bra and a pair of loose trousers. If her body was going to protect her and be ready for anything, she needed it limber so she could execute any manoeuvres required to protect her team mates, and hopefully save her stolen crew. The ship just didn't seem right without them aboard, and truthfully Shepard missed Kelly's upbeat voice, she really needed a pep talk herself. But that wasn't possible right now Shepard thought, so she "sucked it up", as the saying goes. Her crew needed her strong and balanced, not worrying out things that didn't need to be on her mind in the middle of a fight like: Did Cerberus fully restore me back to my former self? Will I ever stop having nightmares about being spaced and dying from lack of oxygen? Am I ever going to find the urge to fuck someone again?!

No, they were not questions she needed on her mind at all.

Shepard righted herself from her current stretch position when her screen of her computer lit up. Her intercom buzzed into action and she heard his deep gravelly voice down the line.

"Commander Shepard, are you there?"

Stretching her arms above her head quickly, she shook her body down and promptly stepped into the line of vision of her computer's digital camera.

"Sorry about that Zaeed, I'm just prepping. Is everything alright?" she asked concerned.

His eyes reflected the bright light from his monitor, especially his cloudy blue one. Shepard commented to herself that she rather liked his heterochromia, or rather in simple terms, his odd coloured eyes.

"Prepping huh?" he grunted. "I was just wondering if you wanted to hear some more of my stories, ya know, just in case you get me killed or something." He's mouth twitched indicating a slight smile, or at least that was Shepard's guess.

"I've got you covered Zaeed, I'm not going to let anyone slip away from me. I've already lost too many good people, one more lost life might be the undoing of me." She sighed, her hands reached up to roughly run through her loose hair. "Okay come up Massani, we've got nothing but time to kill anyway."

"Right you are Shepard," he replied, then the screen went blank.

She walked toward her bed quickly picking up her black and white top while saying to EDI, "You can grant Zaeed permission up to my quarters EDI."

"As you wish Commander," she flickered.

Casting a critic eye across her room she quickly bundled up all her in use data pads and neatly arranged them onto of her desk. She looked towards her Space Hamster and could see he was still fine, she turned towards the door expectantly. She could hear the sound of the elevator door opening and then a few even steps 'til her door opened with a slight whoosh and his frame entered into her sight. She remembered the top still in her hands finally, and before he reached her she had it back over her head and was just settling it on her torso when he decided to talk.

"Shepard please do continue stretching if you need to, I don't want to leave you unprepared." He said, his shoulder leaning heavily on the side of her glass wall.

She shook her head and snorted and she passed him towards her sofa saying, "Sure... and give you a right eye full of my arse. I don't think so."

His laughter filled her ears; it was raw, untamed and completely heartfelt.

"Ahh... and old man can only hope Commander. And what a sight it would be too," he answered, winking as he settled down next to her.

"Talk Massani, or I'll find a way to haul your arse out to the elevator with my biotics." She replied, an innocent smile playing her lips, but her eyes belied her true mirth.

His face sobered, his eyes intent on her face.

"No more talk Commander, we've done enough of that."

She shifted slightly, turning her frame to face him.

"Oh? So why are you here?" her heart was beating painfully fast in her chest, her eyes unmoving from his.

She felt something, something she hadn't even thought possible in this new body. It was a stirring of emotions she thought had died. Good God, she was feeling desire.

"I don't know, you tell me. I feel we've been pussyfooting around this the whole time I've been on this ship." He flexed his arms in front of him, his eyes temporally removed from her face but returned once again after his arms settled back at his side.

"I see... And what exactly have we been "pussyfooting" around Mr. Massani?" she asked, her eyebrow quirked up quizzically.

With speed beyond which she could have imagined, he snaked his arms around her curvy waist and pulled her towards him so that she was almost straddling him. Her surprise was evident on her face, he smirked as a response then said, "Like I said, we talk too much. I'll show you exactly what we've been avoiding Shepard."

With that said he's right hand came up and cupped the back of her head as his still smirking lips approached hers.

Just before the kiss connected, she wondered briefly if EDI would report to Joker that Zaeed was physically assaulting her, she could only imagine Joker's face later.