This started out as a joke between me and my friends who like One Piece so I decided to make a short story about it. It'll only be about 4 chapters. Telling you now if you're expectations are wrong, this is NOT in ANY way a YAOI! I repeat, NO YAOI!
Na, He's Not Gay
Just cause he's not into girls right now doesn't mean he's gay, right? Sanji is positive there is no other reason why Luffy wouldn't be interested in the girls on the ship. But Zoro is sure it's just cause he doesn't care at the moment. Who s right?
Chapter 1: The Bet
"AH! LUFFY! GET OUT! I'M NAKED!!"
"ACK! SORRY NAMI-SAN!!" Luffy fell over backwards from being yelled at by the Navigator who was soaked and just coming out of the shower when the strawhat boy opened the bathroom door to pee.
"Oi! Rubber idiot! Don't peep at Nami-swan's beautiful body and breasts!" Sanji yelled as he came up stairs.
Zoro over heard that comment, "Breasts? That's a little more blunt than usual." He just shrugged it off.
Luffy looked at Sanji very confused, "Nami's body? Why would I look at her naked? I just needed to pee."
Sanji looked at him as if he was stupid, "Why would want to look at her body!? Because she's F'n gorgeous!!! What I wouldn't give to 'accidently' bump into those wonderful bosoms!!! Heheheehehehe!"
Zoro rolled his eyes as he lifted his weights, "Perverted baka..."
`Luffy blinked, "Her boobs? Why? Is there something in them?"
"...... Yeah, milk- Look Luffy! You're missing the point! She's a very sexy lady! Why wouldn't you want to see or even FEEL her naked body!?!?!"
Luffy thought for a moment, really pondering it, "............Hmmmm................ mmm............. I guess... I just don't want to. I don't see a good point for it at the moment.... Oh well! No big deal right!?" With that he stretched out his arm and jumped onto the head of the Thousand Sunny.
"WHAT!?!?" Sanji's world was just hit by a giant meteor, "DON'T WANT TOO!?!? NO BIG DEAL!?!? IS HE SERIOUS!?!? ZORO!!!"
"Ah! What! You're annoying. Baka..." He continued lifting weights as Sanji began his idiot rant.
"DID YOU HEAR THAT!? He said he didn't want to see OR feel Nami-swan naked!"
"So what... Neither do I, it's pointless at this time... A woman's sensual prowess on our minds right now would just slow us down or get us killed. That's why you just now got a bounty and it's only 77,000 and the Marines don't even have your actual photo."
"Don't be stupid! That's not it! And you don't want a woman because you re not even a human male. You're like some asexual reproducing Neanderthal or something of lower evolutionary species..."
Zoro grunted and began to lift his weights faster, "I'll let that one go if you just shut up and leave.... NOW.."
"No wait, listen to this. What if Luffy doesn't want to see her naked because he has NO interest in women whatsoever...... OH MY GOD! Zoro! What if he's GAY!?!?!?!"
"No... He's not... shut up and leave...."
"That's it!" Sanji completely ignored him, "Zoro I figured it out! Luffy is homosexual! WE HAVE A GAY CAPTIAN!"
"And your dumb as shit . Can I go on with my life now?"
"I'll prove it. (Shouts to Luffy) LUFFY!"
"Yeah!?"
"HOW IS YOUR PENIS TODAY!?!?"
"WHAT!?" Zoro flung up from his weights, "Why the hell did you ask him that for!??!"
"Shhhh! Watch!"
Luffy at first looked confused then just shrugged and looked down his pants, then shouted back, "IT S FINE! Thanks for asking!!..... I guess..." And went back to looking out at sea.
"SEE! No STRIAGHT man would answer that question!"
"That proves nothing you moron!! Except that Luffy, like always, DOES NOT question anything!"
"Why are you defending our gay captain Zoro? HUH!!! Are you his gay lover!!?!?"
"OH MY GOD!" He slammed his hand on his forehead.
"Oh, how cruel of me. I mean, are you his gay 'Partner'?"
"NO YOU DUMBASS! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD! He's NOT gay, no one on this ship is!"
"HOW CAN YOU BE SURE!?!?"
"BECAUSE I'M SANE AND MY BRAIN FUNCTION'S PROPERLY!!"
".....Tch, says you."
He hit his forehead again, "Jesus Christ! I would bet all the money I have he's not gay!!?"
Sanji thought for a moment, "Hmmm.......... AH! I know! We WILL bet to prove it! You try and get complete evidence that he DOES indeed like women and their bodies. And I will try (and succeed) to prove he is not only a pirate, but a BUTT-Pirate."
"God, fine!"
"But, your money is no good to me.... However..." He eyed Zoro's swords, "I could always use better knives than the one's I have to cut up really big meat."
"OH HELL NO! I will NEVER put my sword up in a bet!"
"Fine, then you forfeit and I'll go tell Luffy I AND yourself think he's gay and that he can come out of the closet."
Zoro looked at him very seriously, "Fine, but only if you put up YOUR most valuable possessions."
"Yeah, whatever, I can BUT more cigarettes better than you can buy new swords."
"No... I meant, you NUTS."
"WHAT?! AH! I KNEW IT! YOU ARE GAY TOO!!"
"NO YOU DUMBSHIT! I win; I get to hit you in the testicles whenever you do something stupid in front of or for the girls."
"......... NO......... FUCKING......... WAY......."
"Fine, then I'll go tell Nami what you think about our captain, and I'm sure she won t like you jumping to conclusions like that."
"... Fine, but only 10 times."
"Whenever I feel like it, when you least suspect it."
"Grrrr... FINE!"
"HA! It's a bet. Get ready to go down!"
"See! I knew you were gay!"
*WHAM!*
To Be Continued...
And the stupidity begins.