Am I losing control or losing my mind?
I know for a fact I'm losing my last place to hide

I didn't get what I want, I got what I need
Man it hurts like hell down here on my knees
Is this where I end?

" Leonardo---"

The artist bowed his head, feeling more tired than he'd ever been in his life. As he spoke, he tried to keep from choking on his words. " I've told you, non è niente. I was not thinking clearly. Ezio, my friend, I meant nothing by it, and I would like to forget about it."

By which he referred to a drunken kiss, that had meant absolutely everything. But he had to say it was nothing. It had to be. He had to pretend it had been.

Leonardo was dimly aware how he now despised alcohol for turning him into a love struck idiota. For giving him a taste of something he knew he could never have, for making the loss that much bigger. That much more torturous.

Ezio, meanwhile, looked awkward, standing a few feet away from the chair Leonardo was hunched in. The man leaned over paper, mindlessly sketching eagles, almost obsessively, needing the distraction.

The assassin cleared his throat. " I do not think you are being truthful," his eyes were piercing and resolute, despite the hesitancy in his stance.

" When do I ever lie? It is fine, just like you always tell me when you have some gaping wound. It was nothing," Leonardo said mildly, biting back a grimace at his bitter words, which were maybe too heavy in their double meaning. He was angry at himself, there wasn't any need to take it out on his friend. Of all the things he could have said--

" Leonardo," there was a huff of exasperation in Ezio's voice. " You are the most brilliant man I have ever known, but even so, you are being very frustrating right now."

" Mi dispiace," Leonardo returned, a rueful smile tugging at his lips.

" I do not like being lied to," Ezio stated firmly, ignoring the other man. " And I do not like it when my friends are hurting."

" Of course, but there is nothing to be hurt over. Now, Ezio, I have work to do, if you'll excuse me."

" Leonardo, listen to me, please."

The artist briefly looked up from his eagles. Truth be told, he loved drawing them because the young assassin so reminded him of them, all grace and danger. Eagles seemed too beautiful to be so fierce, and yet they were both.

" I have work to do," Leonardo smiled warmly. He could not have made more of a mess of things if he had tried. He felt like hiding in his bed and staying there for an undefined period of time.

" As do I," Ezio sighed, face unreadable. Without another word he walked out of the workshop.

Leonardo promptly slouched further in his chair, resting his head against the worktable. He covered his head with his hands, face flushing with shame as tears pricked at his eyes, and all he could think was – what have I done, what have I done?

Leonardo spent the rest of the day going through the motions, finding himself worrying about Ezio as he always worried. Only now, he worried about their precarious relationship, worried how he had single-handedly destroyed it. The memory of the kiss had him touching his lips and cursing himself like the sad fool he was.

It was an understatement to say he was amazed when Ezio announced his presence with a loud call, a while later into the evening. Well, he'd been amazed later, his initial reaction had been to jump, so startled that his heart had leapt up to his throat. The flood of emotion that bombarded him didn't help matters at all, either.

" How did you get in?" was the first thing out of his mouth. Leonardo had actually locked his door, for once.

" The window," Ezio replied dismissively. Leonardo nodded distantly, as if it were perfectly normal for assassins to be entering his dwellings through windows. He then noticed the item Ezio held in his hand; a single bottle of red wine.

" What can I do for you?" Leonardo asked warily, trying horribly at some sense of normalcy.

Ezio uncorked the bottle in rapid motions. " Would you care for a drink?" he asked, not answering his friend's question.

And have a repeat of mortification and shame, with a crash course in 'how to ruin a friendship?' Leonardo mentally answered, incredulous and resentful.

" No," he said instead, a little curtly.

" I insist."

" No, thank you."

" Leonardo, I really must urge you. Is all this wine to go to waste?"

" I am fine, thank you."

Then, with a gesture of impatience, Ezio scowled. "Must I spell it out for you?"

The artist was taken off guard at the sudden change. " Pardon?"

The assassin took two large steps, effectively closing the small distance between them. He brought the bottle of wine up and held it close to Leonardo's face.

" I want you to drink," he said slowly, enunciating his words forcibly, one finger extended at the wine.

The older man was still at a loss, glancing from the pro-offered item to Ezio. " I don't understand."

Ezio growled a little, backing away. He then forced Leonardo to take the bottle, and said again, " Drink."

Leonardo was quickly becoming fed up, and he felt certain this was some kind of cruel jab for the other night. " But why?" (He hated how his voice had turned almost pleading.)

" Because I want you to," Ezio replied, resolutely looking away, eyebrows knit, arms crossed across his chest; the very picture of obstinance.

" Yes, I gathered as much," Leonardo couldn't help the amusement in his tone, or the small sarcastic smile. Sometimes it was hard to forget just what Ezio was when he acted like a child. " Why?"

" Because I want you to get drunk," he offered unhelpfully.

Leonardo could feel his hackles rising in defense. He'd never known Ezio to be mean, but this was suspiciously bordering on that precipice, and he wasn't in the mood.

At the older man's silence, Ezio glanced at him, features softening minutely for a split second before returning to a mask of impatience. " You really don't understand?"

" No! Please, enlighten me."

" I was hoping the message might convey itself," Ezio muttered sullenly. He straightened his shoulders before speaking again. " If you are inebriated the odds are in my favor."

" For what?" Leonardo was ever curious, perhaps to a dangerous extreme. Somewhere in the back of his head, he was preparing himself for some horrible insult.

Instead, quite anti-climatically, a small sigh passed through scarred lips, even as a scowl twisted them unpleasantly. " Without inhibitions...it would be very likely that you would kiss me again," Ezio said flatly, sounding almost unwilling.

Leonardo frowned, his knee-jerk reaction all encompassing. He first felt some heavily nursed chagrin and made sure he had some well-versed denial at the tip of his tongue. Just as he was about to say something, his genius mind finally stepped in, and reason elbowed its way through his emotions.

' I want' in combination with 'the odds are in my favor' smoothed out in a completely positive way, reason supplied helpfully. Ezio was not condemning him, he was...he was encouraging him. A means to an end, some alcohol for a kiss. As if on cue, Leonardo noticed the small flush of color on Ezio's cheeks, and the frown that was still there. His mouth fell open in disbelief, his eyes growing wide.

Finally, he managed to croak out, " You mean you--"

" Basta! Yes, Leonardo, can we please stop talking?"

" Stop talking..." he repeated dazedly.

With another huff, Ezio rushed forward and hugged the other man close, dipping his head and touching their lips together. At the heated contact Leonardo let out an embarrassingly loud groan, hands flying up to clutch at whatever he could grab. In an instant, he was pressing as close to the other body as he could, despite the hard ridges of armor that dug into his skin.

Ezio hummed breathlessly, hands trailing up to Leonardo's hair, and once the frenzy had been expended, the kiss turned more tentative, more explorative. Ezio puckered his lips expertly, opening his mouth to trace the other man's lips. Leonardo shivered, tightening his grip on the assassin's shoulders. He knew he could lose himself in this (he was losing himself), and so with a jerky movement, he pulled back determinedly, his breath uneven.

" Wait, are you sure, I am not--"

" A woman? I am aware," Ezio near purred, and Leonardo's lips quirked. " I want you as you are."

Leonardo felt dizzy, but still, he didn't know if he could trust reality at the moment. " You are positive this is--"

The artist was silenced when scarred lips brushed over his, too teasingly to last. " No more talking, yes?" Ezio uttered lowly, his scratchy voice coaxing Leonardo's brain to shut down. For now, it was all the certainty he needed. He readily showed his consent by leaning up expectantly, lips parted.

He met Ezio's eyes, finding mischief and want there, but also something that was timid and tender. Leonardo experienced too many bursts of emotion to count and divide them, so he resorted to tugging his hand imploringly around a fistful of Ezio's hair.

Ezio grinned, meeting the eager mouth and pressing hard against him to deepen the kiss. Leonardo moaned contentedly, tracing his fingers through the assassin's dark brown hair. He felt a keen need to run his hands along every curve and contour of Ezio's body, and commit each touch to memory.

As impatient as he was, Leonardo didn't want to wreck or rush anything. He wanted this too badly, he'd wanted it too long. Something told him Ezio had never done anything like this before, and as willing as he was to assume the role of teacher, he believed thoroughly in giving his student time. All the time in the world for this, he silently prayed.

Gently separating, he caught his breath and leant his forehead against Ezio's, brushing his thumb over his lips. " You, my assassino, have exhausted me."

Ezio smirked indulgently. " My sincerest apologies."

Leonardo smiled, resisting the urge to kiss the man again. " Despite your apparent lack of remorse, you could remedy it by allowing me my rest."

The assassin affected a mock-brooding look. " By yourself?"

" And how else am I supposed to get any rest?"

" You see, Leonardo, I was actually contemplating where I was to sleep tonight." When the artist gave him a look, Ezio amended. "Just sleep."

" Come volete, Ezio. But do not tease me."

" Oh, I would never dream of it, Leonardo."

The artist laughed coyly as he lead Ezio to his bedroom.

Hours later, with a pile of armor piled carefully on the floor, two forms rested tangled on the bed. Leonardo knew that this kind of happiness was rare and powerful, and he was trying to disect it even as he experienced it. The strong arm splayed across his belly felt heavy and protective. He couldn't help but nuzzle his nose into the younger man's hair, sighing contentedly as he counted the other's breaths.

It felt good to be like this, watching Ezio relax, however temporarily. It felt good to be intimate without the aid of sex. Though, Leonardo thought lazily, he would definitely like to explore the body next to him. Very much, he added to himself, licking his lips dreamily.

With one wandering hand, he traced a scar along Ezio's bare back, pleased when the man twitched in his sleep. The little mumbled phrase, that he couldn't quite make out, was only an added bonus. He chuckled under his breath, imagining all the responses he could coax with his hands.

As the night wore on, the artist was still marveling in the moment, lost in the scent of Ezio and spontaneous smiles. With a yawn, he registered his body's need for sleep, and he finally closed his eyes (which had previously been too preoccupied staring at Ezio).

Before Leonardo succumbed to sleep, he hoped whatever this was would last. He hoped with a fierceness he did not know he possessed that this was simply the sketch work, and that their relationship was destined to become a very beautiful painting, simple but complex with the singular detail of each brushstroke. By the by, he also realized he didn't loathe alcohol anymore, in fact, he silently thanked its devilish concoction for making him act like a love struck idiota.

Not that the alcohol had any impact on his feelings (no matter how much he'd consumed), because they had always been there. It was the courtesy of impervious wine that they'd been prodded out of hiding. There really was no use in pretending he wasn't a love struck idiota, anyway. His heart had been stolen and all, stolen by a womanizing assassin, who just so happened to return his sentiments.

Oh, this would be interesting, Leonardo knew, as he settled into the warm body next to him.

Next to him.

My pulse is racing, I can't catch my breath.
This near-life experience scared me to death.
Is this where I end, or is this where we begin?

Or is this where we begin?

Well. I'm sorry for the crap-quality this possesses. I had (had) to get this out of my system. Ever since I played ACII, all I could think was SLASH. Leonardo was adorable, and Ezio gave me so many lovely dreams. I love the both of them dearly, so, so much. Together? The best. And then this song by Lifehouse inspired me to start writing out the most cliched plotline of life. I meant for this to come out light-hearted and man, I don't know. TAKE it as fluff with a side-serving of more fluff?... I wanted to write smut too, sigh.

Again, sorry for how crap-tastic this is. Hopefully it wasn't too bad, and hopefully I didn't butcher their characters. I actually found Leonardo really hard to write, because I didn't want him to be a total push over, and I didn't want him to be totally dominating either. I should have picked one or the other, because there just ain't a medium, is there?

God, I think I may have to go back and revise this when I get some of my originality back.

Anyway, long author's note, holy mad hatter. NOW, if you would be so kind, leave me a review, tell me what you thought? Was this a total failure? Hah.

PS [I can't believe I had Ezio spelt as Enzio. Man, I must've been high. IN any case, it's all fixed now, sorry about that!. :) ] I also edited a few of my sentences to make for easier reading, and added in some frilly lines as well. Enjoy, enjoy!

Love,
kyla