A/N: Hey hey, look who's back! Sorry for the long break, I had a long meeting with my old friend Mr. W. Block. I'll try to be more active from now on (actually, I've been working on something else Nordic-related too, but it's far from finished).

Anyway, this is a one-shot looking at a rather nasty historical event from Finland's POV. I guess it can be seen as a side story for ABYS as well, but it should stand on its own just fine. Enjoy my crappy first person writing. XD

The first thing I could feel was pain. Nothing unusual, for years I had more often than not woken up with the red lilies of agony dancing in my head. This time however, as I drifted closer to consciousness, I soon realized it was far worse usual. I would have gulped if I had been fully awake. This wasn't going to be pretty.

As soon as my thoughts began to clear, I noticed I was lying on a floor covered in something sticky. I grit my teeth. The pain was just as unbearable as I had feared, and my head felt so heavy...

Whatever was going on, I had to get up. I slowly opened my eyes, hoping it wouldn't make my headache worse.

The moment my eyes got adjusted to the dim light, I realized the something sticky on the floor was a pool of my own blood. Not the most pleasant way to wake up, that's for sure. Ignoring both that and the throbbing pain behind my forehead, I looked at my surroundings in an attempt to find out where I was.

I was alone in a large, dark room. It was mostly empty; the only furniture I could see at the moment was some cupboards and desks by the wall, as well as a lit fireplace, spreading much-needed warmth and light into the room.

I closed my eyes again and listened to the firewood crackling, trying very hard not to panic. The place looked completely unfamiliar, and to make matters worse, I couldn't remember how I had gotten there or where Su-san was.

A shiver ran through my body. The fireplace didn't create enough heat for me to stay warm now that I was awake. Time to get up.

I moved my hands so they were by my head and raised my upper body from the floor. It went better than I expected and I soon had managed to pull myself into a sitting position of sorts. It hurt, but there were more important things at hand than that.

I stared at the half-dry blood on the floor, with only the sound of wood burning breaking the silence. Except...I wasn't sure whether I just imagined it, but I thought I could hear a distant murmur coming from somewhere behind the door. Real or not, it was too quiet to make much out of it. Whatever the case, it was more than enough to convince me I had to get my act to together fast.

I sighed and looked at myself. My hands were full of cuts and bruises. Nothing special, even if unpleasant. They still hurt, though. My chest was in the same condition...My chest? Oh right, my shirt was barely hanging around my shoulders. I pulled it on again and buttoned it. Bloody and tattered or not, it was still warmer than nothing. No wonder I had been so cold.

Now that I think about it, I'm only wearing my shirt and pants. Where are the rest of my clothes? I know I was wearing a uniform...

Uniform. That's right, I had been wearing one...Which means Su-san and I had been fighting in a war.

I rubbed my forehead, hoping it would clear out some of the fog still lingering in my brain.

Think, Finland, think. You were at war, what else?

War...And a big one too...Russia-san won a battle and Su-san's boss fled... We kept fighting, but he was too strong and crushed us...and then...

Another shiver ran through body, but it had nothing to do with cold.

I looked around again. So, this had to be Russia-san's house. Not good. Not good at all.

I racked my brain for more answers, but quickly stopped. The images that came to my mind just kept getting worse and worse.

Just don't think about it...Don't think about it...Focus on the situation at hand...

I stood up as fast as I could, and was forced back on my knees again when a sudden bout of dizziness struck me off-guard. The second attempt worked better, and I was now able to look around my surroundings from a much suitable angle.

Now then...What next?

Well, obviously I had to get away from here and find Su-san...But how? I have no idea how much more powerful Russia-sa- Russia has become, but I do know he's far too strong for me to take on by myself...If I tried to escape or fight him, I'd just end up just like I had earlier...

Maybe I should hide somewhere...If Russia...can't find me, maybe he'll just forget about me with time...After all, he's always very busy.

I took a few wobbly steps towards the fireplace. There were two doors on either sides of it, and there was a third one behind my back. Which to choose?

But can I really just hide and hope to stay unnoticed? Did I ever cower in fear when up against bears as a child? No, I'd have to think of a plan...

Of course, I'd better take cover for now.

I looked at both the doors in front of me, unable to pick one. Who knew what was behind them? The third one wasn't an option: while I still wasn't sure whether I had imagined the voice or not, I definitely didn't want to go and check.

While I was still pondering, my legs started to tremble again. Damn. I'd better decide something before the loss of blood would force me to rest again.

Let's see...I need a place to hide in...And something to defend myself with, just in case...I won't go down without a fight.

I quickly looked around again, hoping to find something useful, and spotted a gilded candlestick in the far corner of the room. I walked to it and grabbed it. It was heavier than I had expected, and decorated in a beautiful and elaborate manner. It looked expensive: Russia had gathered a lot of wealth since the last time I had visited his house. I squeezed the candlestick in my hand and walked back to the fireplace. Now then, which door?

I took a deep breath and reached out for the handle of the right door. Su-san always stood by my right side; it couldn't be a bad sign.

"You're awake, Finland-kun?" A familiar, child-like voice called out from behind me.

I spun around, mortified. Russia-s- Russia was standing there, wearing his uniform and trademark scarf and smiling softly. I gave a barely audible gulp. How could have I been so lost in thought I hadn't noticed him enter the room? I inadvertently took a step backwards.

"Umm...What are you doing with that?" He asked, his eyes fixed on the candlestick I was holding. He was still smiling, but to me his smile looked more like the grin a cat gives to a bird it has just caught than anything else.

Is he toying with me?

I felt my anger rise and clenched the candlestick. There wasn't a single way out of the situation, and I definitely didn't trust him after what had happened...I readied myself for a strike. Even if I would fail, I had to give it a shot...I had to show him I wasn't some sort of a plaything. Besides, uniform or not, I was still a soldier at war.

"Haaaa!" I yelled and ran towards him, raising my improvised weapon. Russia stared at me, shocked.

Oh please, please let it hit...

Russia easily caught the candlestick, wrenching it from my hand and tossing it aside. It fell down with a clatter.

Too strong...

"I see..." Russia said, and I swore I heard a hint of sadness in his voice. It was, however, buried under an overwhelming amount of rage. He grabbed me by the neck and pushed me towards the back of the room, pinning me to the wall by the fireplace. I tried to struggle, but no avail. All I could do was to keep breathing and look at him. The lower portion of his face was concealed under his scarf, and his eyes gave me the iciest stare I had ever seen. I shivered.

"Why...Why can't you just do what I say?" He asked, still staring at me.

I opened my mouth in order to answer him, before realizing I really didn't know what to say. I racked my brain for something sensible to say, but the blood loss and lack of oxygen had started to make me lightheaded again.

"I-I..." I staggered, unsure how to continue. I quickly glanced at his purple eyes before lowering my head. "I...just can't." I finally muttered. I closed my eyes in resignation and clenched my fists.

Russia didn't say a word. When he finally spoke, his voice sounded even more high-pitched than usual. "But why?" He asked. There. The sorrowful undertone was there again. Russia leaned closer, loosening his grip. "It would be so much easier if you just did..." His hair brushed my cheek.

Suddenly, tears started streaming down my cheeks. Russia pulled back, shocked. I was just as shocked myself and tried to stop them the best I could. I hated crying in front of people, even in front of Su-san, although I couldn't always help it. But why was I crying now? What could have triggered-

Oh.

The memories I had tried to suppress earlier flooded back, along with the pain. I stared blankly in front of me, tears still rolling down my face. They got mixed with the blood stains on my face, making images of red flowers as they fell on the floor before stopping by themselves.

We stood there in silence for quite a while, Russia's hand still pinning me to the wall from my neck and the fireplace still happily burning.

I closed my eyes.

Think about it later. You've felt pain before. Focus on the matter at hand.

I opened them again and looked Russia directly in the eye. I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

This is why I can't obey you...Why no-one understands you...You can't see how much you hurt others...

Russia still remained silent. Suddenly, I saw a strange glint in his eyes.

"You know what, Finland-kun?" he asked cheerfully. I blinked, surprised. Something wasn't quite right with his sudden change of mood.

He crouched down and reached out for the fireplace, still holding me to the wall. He grabbed a burning piece of firewood and got up again.

"My superior said I should take care that Sweden wouldn't come to bother us." He said, still sounding off.

My eyes widened. What did he mean?

Russia looked at the burning wood in his hand and gave a nervous giggle. "Well, no-one can travel long through scorched earth...Or claim something that doesn't exist."

He turned to look at me again, the image of flames reflected in his eyes. He was smiling again, an unsettling grin far more terrifying than any scowl.

I struggled with renewed vigor, but it was useless. His grip tightened again and I looked up into his eyes. They were burning with the flames of madness.

I stared at him, horrorstruck, as he moved his other hand closer, still giggling helplessly.

Su-san, where are you?

A/N: Greater Wrath, 1714-1721, a time Wikipedia will gladly tell you more about with much more accuracy than I ever can, was a period of Russian occupation in Finland, and #2 on my list "Things that prove Russia was psychotic even before Bloody Sunday". Short version: Russia occupied Finland, Finland kept fighting back, and Russia punished him heavily for fighting back. Oh, and burned a lot of things to the ground. Oh dear.

For some reason, I find Finland easier to write in first person. Huh.

Well, I hope you enjoyed the story. Reviews are highly appreciated as usual. Take care and see you!