May 8 2016

I promised that I didn't abandon this story. There will only be a chapter or two left including the epilogue, as slow as the writing has been going I don't know when they will post but I promise this story will finish. This chapter is completely un-betad and ll mistakes are mine.

Suzanna

Confession

Rose POV

We stayed with Lalo and Sara for the rest of the week so that we could celebrate David's birthday with them. During that time I spent a little time with my walls down so that I could see if indeed there were other spirits watching over the family. There were a few deceased relatives who came along from time to time just to check in and visit.

Sara's oldest sister was the most predominant one. Her name was Emelia and as soon as I had let my walls down for her to communicate with me; communicate she did. She told me that Sara was still very young when Emelia first got sick and that her chemo had rendered her infertile. Knowing she would never have children of her own she transferred all the love she could imagine having for her future children on to her littlest sister. She was in remission for almost six years and in that time she grew very close to Sara. When the cancer proved to be too virulent it was Emelia's dying wish to stay with Sara and watch over her and her children.

David's birthday party was filled with so many relatives, both living and deceased. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. Even though the two sets of guests didn't interact with each other you could still feel the familial love abound in the house.

I was a bit sad to leave them the next day but Dimitri wanted to go back to the Academy. We still had a week left of our Honeymoon and he wanted to celebrate it in the place where our marriage began.

There had been a change in Dimitri that I had noticed during our stay with the Reyes family. He was lighter, and happier than I think I had seen him since we first completed our marriage bond. Our lovemaking had increased and he was constantly showing me affection. He fed from me at least once a day again though never during intercourse. I miss it but I won't push him on it.

We left for the academy late in the afternoon. Dimitri held me close throughout the flight. We cuddled, kissed and even napped while holding each other close. No clothing came off and private areas were left untouched but it felt like we spent hours making love.

Although it was early Moroi morning when we arrived we headed straight to our cabin instead of going to the Gym for a "workout" or to the cafeteria for breakfast with the staff and children. Dimitri carried our one large duffle bag in one arm and held me by the waist with the other. I was glad that I had sent the bulk of our clothes with Lissa.

Alberta passed us on the path but she only smiled at me but gave Dimitri a nod and a wink before she hurried back towards the school. I looked quizzically at him.

"Guardian secrets Roza, Guardian secrets. " He kissed the top of my head and nudged me along, chuckling as I huffed.

There was a warm glow in the cabin windows. Dimitri opened the door just wide enough to stick our bag in and drop it against the wall. He then turned with a mischievous look in his sparkling eyes. Before I could protest he had me in his arms bridal style and his lips were pressed to mine in a slow, sensuous kiss. He set me on my feet a minute or two later.

I opened my eyes to see pink and white candles lit around the room. The fireplace held a warm fire that warded off the cold mountain wind that chilled the air despite the summer months. Dinner was set on the coffee table with large pillows set for sitting.

"Wow, Dimitri, when did you have time to arrange this. It's perfect."

"Like I said Roza, Guardian secrets. " He bent down and kissed me again. "Sit, eat, Roza." He sat and gently pulled me with him. "You are going to need your strenth for what I have planned. "

Dimitri twirled his fork in the angel hair pasta on his plate then held it to my lips. The sauce was creamy and flavorful, the broccoli floretts were tender and the chicken just about melted in my mouth. I couldn't help but moan around the fork. Dimitri's eyes darkened and he swallowed hard as he pulled the fork away. He watched as I chewed and swallowed my bite.

"My turn" I said huskally as I filled a forkful to feed him. We continued this way till our plates empty. Dimitri took a sip from his water glass, he seemed to take a moment to reflect.

"Roza, have you ever heard the phrase 'You can not fully love another till you love yourself'?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"I have to confess that there is a part of me that I have hated so much and I feel that it has prevented me from fully participating in our marital bond."

"How so?"

"The changes made to me by the Strigoi were impossible for me to embrace. Everyone told me to see the bright side of them and for most of them I could concede. Like it or not, enhanced strength, speed, hearing and sight could only be a bonus to a guardian. I don't have to like the reason for having them to embrace the positive." He seemed to trail off.

My eyes began to sting with unshed tears. "Taking my blood?" I whispered hoarsely. It was as if all the puzzle pieces fell into place. The anxiety I felt from him leading up to our year mark. The feeder he called the morning after he bit me during our love making. I felt foolish for reveling in the intimacy I perceived in the act of sharing my blood when it was in truth something he abhorred.

He reached out and wiped away my tears. "Yes my Roza. I have had some very mixed feelings about it, especially this past month. At first I hated myself for needing blood and my self hate only increased when we learned only you could feed me. Then it became our method of making love without breaking your Vows to Adrian. I think I focused more on holding you and kissing then the fact that I was feeding from you at the same time."

Dimitri pulled me onto his lap and nuzzled his nose in my neck lovingly. I rested my head on his shoulder, my tears falling freely from my eyes.

"When we started to become more physically intimate my mouth would usually be away from your neck or otherwise engaged in your pleasure but the desire to bite and feed was there and growing. Making love as we do now hasn't diminished the desire at all. It is more than a desire, it is a compulsion so strong it borders on need." He gently caressed the juncture of my neck and shoulder, momentarily lost in his thoughts.

"I have sought counsel from both Adrian and my Mamma. I have spent time thinking things over and I have come to the conclusion that I can no longer hate that side of me. Taking your blood has allowed me to be with you intimately when I had no other alternative. I know now that even though I didn't like having to take blood from you that you don't feel the same. I watched you feed Adrian and Lissa and you never once thought twice about it. I know now that when we are away from home you happily feed our children. You give to me with such a pure heart that for me to feel anything but the love you offer me would be a travesty. I am so sorry that I held back any part of myself from you, I love you with every fiber and every facet of my being."

He smiled and kissed the mark he last left on my neck sweetly.

"Roza from this moment on I give everything I am to you. I may still despise the Strigoi but I no longer regret the changes that remain. I will use them to the fullest to help you in your mission and I will revel in the way that our union is made stronger by it. I am yours Roza, every bit that I ever was, am now and will become, is yours." His face held so much peace that it radiated though his whole being.

"Dimitri, I love you and accept every part of you. I have never regretted sharing my blood or my love with you. I am sorry that this has been burdening you for so long, I wish you had come to me first but I am glad that you sought advice instead of continuing to suffer."

I crawled into his lap and embraced him. Love wrapped around us in an almost tangible ribbon. The fractures of our bond that I had not before felt seemed to mend. With my eyes closed I concentrated on nothing but the love flowing between and through us. I was unaware of Dimitri's movement until I felt him set me on my feet. I opened my eyes to find him looking down on me with love.

I reached up to meet his lips in a sensual kiss. Clothing fell away in slow succession. Nothing more was said in words as we kissed and caressed each inch of flesh we revealed form each other.

I took his hand and led him to sit on the bed with his back against the head board. Our initials carved in Dimitri's own hand clearly visible on either side of him, reminding me that this is where it all started. I settled myself astride his lap. He reached his hands into my hair and pulled me into a gentle kiss. Soon we joined our bodies in the dance that our hearts were already enjoying.

Dimitri held me close as our passion grew feverishly. He trailed kisses along my jaw and neck driving me even farther towards the edge but when I felt his fangs lengthen and scrape against my delicate skin, my body exploded into ecstasy. I thought I couldn't experience anything so wonderful till he sunk his fangs in and drew blood in the most sensuous vampire kiss. I could not contain my bliss. My world shattered into shards of color before going blinding white.

When my mind and body calmed enough for me to make sense of my surroundings again Dimitri was holding me to his chest and running his hand through my hair. My mouth was still attached to his shoulder and I recognized the taste of blood. Pulling away to examine him I saw the crescent shapes left by my teeth, indented, bruising and in some places bleeding. Just inches farther up was the mark left on him by the Strigoi that had sired him, four dots. I gasped, horrified by my own brutality.

Dimitri turned my face to him. I could not look him in the eyes.

"Roza, look at me." I could hear the smile in his voice. When I finally looked in his chocolate brown eyes shown with nothing but love. "I think it's safe to say that we were both overcome by the full power of our bond. I'm ok and there is nothing that could make me regret baring your mark on me."

We made love several times more during the night and though he bought me to climax each time with a vampire's kiss, I was better prepared and didn't bite him again. Exhausted we fell into a deep sleep.

It wasn't till the fooling night that I woke at the setting sun. Vampire day was just beginning. I realized that there was another beginning happening as well. I jumped and ran to the bathroom, Dimitri found me a few moments later. Unfortunately having been too preoccupied to eat then sleeping through till the next day had left me with an empty stomach.

Dimitri held my hair back till my stomach had calmed then carried me back to bed. He left me there for a moment and returned to the room with a tray of soda crackers and ginger ale. His face held a hopeful smile. He set the tray down on the night stand and took my hands.

"Roza?"

I moved his hands down to my abdomen and nodded. "Yes!" We both burst into tears and kisses. I couldn't have been happier. I felt like our life was back on the track we were always meant to be on.

We enjoyed the last few days of our honeymoon in complete privacy. We decided to wait till we got home to share our news.

I am so sorry for the time it has taken me to post but I am not ready to abandon this or any other story. thank you to those who are still with me.

SnowGoose.