The paper creases as I fold it in half, hiding my pointless ink-wasting doodling. I stuff the paper into my bag, and then kick it under the desk out of the way. Sighing, I rest my head on my arms on the table, the sleepless night before making me tired.
Suddenly, the door of the classroom opens and someone steps inside.
"Sorry I'm late." His voice is indescribable. I hear it so rarely; I never hear it enough to satisfy me. If I heard him speak often, it would still not be enough.
"That's quite alright, Mr Hale, we were just starting." replies the teacher, probably dazed by his presence. He isn't in class as much as he should.
The empty seat next to me is finally filled, even though I never expect it to be I always hope for him to show. Ever since the first day Jasper has never said a word to me, and it will always be that way. His presence is enough.
I lift my head up and glance at him as he sits down next to me. The teacher carries on with the lesson. I am hearing him but not listening.
He looks uncomfortable as I stare, so I try and drag my eyes away, yet they disobey me and keep on watching. Jasper's features are so beautiful, but he looks so pained as he looks forward. No angel deserves to be in this pain…
His beautiful blonde hair looks so thick and soft… I dig my nails into my hand, cursing mentally because I want to reach out and touch the short strands so much. Look but don't touch. Actually – don't even look!
Finally I am able to drag my eyes away from him. But my mind tells me I am doing wrong – I should stare at him while he is so close. I should take advantage of this short moment I have with him, as alone as I will get.
The internal battle is won, and my wanting gets the better of me. Yet I am still not allowed to touch. Don't you dare, I tell myself angrily. Or I will punish you later.
My eyes blur slightly and I yell at myself, mentally, some more. I have to stop staring, I have to stop wanting him so badly. I know I will just get hurt. Like before, when I hurt myself.
I feel pain and look away. I am not worthy to stare at this beautiful guy next to me. He is too good for me. How could I even think about wanting him like this? There is a lump in my throat and I swallow, forcing the tears back. Cry-baby.
As I look down at the desk, a note is pushed gently across the table towards me.
'Hey :)' it says. A lightness of hope and excitement rises in me and I struggle to keep a straight face. I look up to see Jasper is smiling at me. The corners of my mouth rise into a dazed and awe-full sheepish, grin.
'Hi', I scribble back in the neatest handwriting I can muster, the smile still plastered to my face. Maybe the Cullens wanted to make friends after all.
If you want to read more about Jasper/OC then I'm writting a full length fan fiction called "Protector, Future, Lover" - it's on my stories if you go on my profile :)
Thank you
~ Twi-girl 56