Ches stroked the hat lovingly, "Now we're alone, you and I…" he fingered the brim and rubbed the material against his face, his whiskers twitching at the rub of the many items adorning the band ran across his face. "I really hated to lose my head like that but it was for the best…" he batted his teal eyes at it lovingly. "Of course I have to return you but…before I do-" and then he did things to the hat, things you would only do in the throes of passionate love. Except the hat was an inanimate object. When he finished he floated in mid-air and panted, his tongue lolling out and the hat on his head. He had satisfied his urges and now he had top return it.

He turned to the hat and sighed, "Now we must part…you belong to someone else…and I DO want to see him happy again…we must bid adieu." He floated the hat over to the Hatter, "Here you go…" he said as he stared at the man defiling the brim of the hat with his insane hands, "I do LOVE that hat…"

(A/N: I DO apologize for the horrendous crackfic. Me and my friends watched Alice in Wonderland and when the Cheshire Cat returned the Hatter's hat he looked at it lovingly and said, "I do LOVE that hat…" and stroked the brim. I promptly turned to my friend and whispered to my friend, "He had a love affair with that hat…the Hatter might want to replace that one now…" After that the thought nagged at me until I typed this. Now for an advertisement from Underland: This fanfiction was brought to you by the insane mind of 'Sandria, the red queen of Underland. ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!!!!!. Thank you and goodnight)