DISCLAIMER: *tackles Chekov* Ha! Finally! My One Ring of Unlimited Copyright Privileges! It's MINE! Mine, precious-! *is Force-shoved into the wall by Obi-Wan, who then runs off with the Ring* OI!

Obi-Wan owns. I do not.

This is one instance where you can thank my professors- the muse came for this from a paper analyzing one of my fanart pieces (available on deviantART!). And, sadly, I fear this might be the last one-shot for this, unless I think of something later- I'm out of ideas! (And no, the muse is STILL refusing to give me anything for Castaway. Dammit...)

This could be an alternate reaction to the events in the last chapter, or it could be completely separate. I'll let you make your own call.

)()()()()()()()()()(

It was their fault. They should have come sooner. The Hutt was right- the Jedi aren't worthy 'guardians' of the Republic. It's their fault I got hurt.

He should have reacted sooner. If he'd done more, I would've been saved. Then, perhaps, I wouldn't have turned out like this.

I wonder what the Jedi are doing, now that I've left. My former Master? Heh. If he'd cared about me, he would have rescued me sooner. My friends? They still hold to the teachings that the Council is forcing down their throats. Fools.

Maybe Obi-Wan was wrong. Maybe he should have just accepted the Hutt's offer.

But no matter. Now I'm not tied to anything. No one in the Temple knows where I am, not even my old Master- I've blocked him off. I didn't tell anyone else I was leaving. No one would have cared. I don't even think any of them suspected this. All they have left of me is my empty room and my lightsabre. I won't carry a Jedi weapon.

I'll make one better. I'm making one better. I learned enough from my old Master- I can live on my own.

I ignite my new weapon to test the blade. The crystals I found were red- but I don't care. I've thrown off everything that the Jedi have taught me- what better way to utterly reject the Jedi than by embracing the very teachings they forbid?

The Sith holocrons were inaccessible to Padawans. But I don't need a holocron. The Force will teach me.

I admire my new lightsabre blade before eyeing the polished transparisteel that serves me as a mirror. My attire has been exchanged for a black tunic and pants, although I still have my old Jedi robe- to disguise me? To hold a little bit of attachment to my past? Because I'm too broke to get a new robe? I cannot pick out one set answer. I shrug my shoulders- it does not matter.

I admire my reflection for a moment before deactivating my lightsabre. I can still see my eyes in the dim light, though- they glow, with a yellow light. I know that if anyone who knew me as a Jedi saw me, they would be most upset with me- not that I care. My weapon returns to its proper place on my belt as I tug my hood over my head and cross my arms in front of myself.

A burst of pain through the Force makes me flinch, despite myself. Despite blocking my former Master so that he cannot find me, I can still sense him- perhaps even more, thanks to the power I have but recently embraced. He is crying through the Force for me, still searching for me. I can hear his voice in my head. Zara! Padawan, where are you?

For a brief moment, I want to return to the Jedi way of life. I want to destroy the new lightsabre on my belt, pull my Jedi tunics out of the trash compactor where I have stashed them, and run back to Master Cin's arms. I want to return to the Temple, confess everything to Master Cin and Master Yoda, and beg them to take me back. My muscles tremble with the effort of remaining still. I look into the mirror, watching as my eyes fade back to their natural green before my vision blurs with unshed tears.

I cannot go back. I have chosen.

Abruptly, I shake my head, as though to banish my former Master from my thoughts. Setting my jaw, I blink away the tears before they can fall. I will not show weakness now- not when I need to be strong. I will be stronger than any other Jedi alive, even Yoda. I'll show them all- I don't need them. I will be powerful without them. I don't need the Jedi, or their outdated, stuffy traditions.

I turn away from my mirror and head out to face the world. The Force whispers guidance to me, teaching me in the ways of power, as well as warning me away from those who would seek to stifle my ability.

I will be strong. But my thoughts still stray to the blocked-off bond in my mind, and I wonder if it is worth it.

Not like I get a second option now. I have made my choice.

)()()()()()()()()(

Wow. That might have been the darkest thing I've written in a while.

Anyway... If you have anything else you'd desperately love to see in here, leave me a review or PM me- but as it stands, I'm calling this collection of one-shots done.

And I promise, I'll work on the Castaway muse as soon as I can!

Thanks for reading!

Xaja