Garrus and Legion

*Who is better, Chuck Norris or Garrus Vakarian?

The day it all came crashing down… Almost…

The list was without a doubt a crew and extranet favorite. Dozens of sites were made and dedicated to it and even a geth led religion had been founded on it. It had brought about a peace between organics and non organics that hadn't existed in over 300 years. All based on a little embellishing of some humorous tales about the Normandy's ground combat expert.

However all good things must come to an end. Though EDI was somewhat iffy, she seemed to get it most of the time that these weren't true and meant as human entertainment. Legion on the other hand took them all at face value and had been instrumental in creating a cult around Garrus. Everyone let it go because it was harmless and in the end caused some good to happen because of it.

No one thought that Legion would find out that Garrus Vakarian jokes (facts) were just revamped Chuck Norris jokes (facts). No one figured that Legion would then utilize the power of the geth collective to search the extranet to find out more about this Chuck Norris.

What Legion found astonished it. At first it wasn't sure what to do about this human who could possibly be as powerful as Vakarian Garrus. Furious debate raged within the collective. Several times splinter groups nearly formed only to just barely be brought back into the fold. The organics never knew just how close another geth civil war had been.

Finally a crucial fact was found that proved that Vakarian Garrus was the stronger of the two and solidified the geths faith in him. And it was up to Legion, as the speaker to the Vakarian Garrus, to tell him this.

Legion located Garrus in the mess hall sitting at a table with his mate, Tali-creator. Boldly the geth strode up to their table and simply declared;

"Vakarian Garrus. It has come to our attention that another has powers similar to your powers."

"Really? Who?" Garrus asked suddenly aware that that mess was completely silent now.

"A human called Norris Chuck. However we have assessed the source of his power and determined he is no threat to you."

"Okay Legion, why is that?"

"Norris Chuck gets his power from his beard. If we shave his beard, he is powerless. You do not possess a beard therefore you have no weakness. That is why you are superior to Norris Chuck."

With that Legion turned around and left the mess hall. Once the geth was out the doors the mess erupted in roars of laughter.

Under the laughter Garrus just facepalmed and muttered under his breath what would become the newest catch phrase on the ship.

"Mur…"